Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the characters.


Chapter Twenty-Three

I got out of the hospital on Sunday, three days after James found and nearly killed me. When I arrived home, I opened the front door and found blue and white balloons filling the room. A large banner hung from the ceiling, joyously shouting the words "We love you Edward!" It was all so typically Alice.

I loved it.

I went back to school on Tuesday. It was…difficult to say the least. In a town as small as Forks, my near death experience in the gym was huge news, probably the most excitement the town had seen in a long time. My classmates wanted to talk to me about it, which I didn't really understand. Why did they think I would want to relive the single most terrifying night of my life?

Fourth period had been the toughest. As I had approached the gym, my stomach had twisted into a knot. I still remember the feeling of everyone's eyes on me as they watched me walk towards the large building. The feeling of being a specimen at the zoo had been overwhelming. But then Bella had appeared by my side like the miracle she was and somehow, the knots in my stomach untwisted. With my note from Carlisle excusing me from physical activity, I spent the period sitting on the bleachers, my gaze avoiding the center of the floor. I could only breathe again once I left the gym and saw Bella waiting for me.

Two weeks have passed since I came home from the hospital. School is not as difficult, people are starting to leave me alone which makes it easier for me to move on. I can walk into the gym without hyperventilating, but I still avoid the center of the floor. My left arm is still wrapped and held together by stitches.

I moved my right hand and ran it along the bandage. My gaze left the now leafless trees outside the kitchen window and went to my left hand. I tried to make a fist, but my fingers wouldn't cooperate. My hand was very weak, but Carlisle assured me that I would regain full use of it.

Just like he assured me that James was in jail and never coming back. I closed my eyes and battled back the panic. It was always there now, dancing around the edges of my mind, never quite leaving me alone. He had come back once. Who could say, for sure, that he was never coming back?

I had tried to express this Carlisle. His serious blue eyes had looked at me fiercely while he told me that James would never hurt me again. He's in jail now and hopefully for a long time. But what about in fifteen years, when he is up for parole? What if he gets out then? I knew without a doubt that if James got out of jail before he died, he would come after me in a heartbeat, endangering all those that were close to me.

I jumped when I felt arms wrapping around my waist. Then, I smiled softly. My miracle was back. Her lips pressed between my shoulder blades. "Hello, sweetheart," she said quietly as she squeezed me tight.

I lifted one of her hands and ran it lightly across my lips. I felt her cheek resting on my back and I kept running her fingers along my lips. "I love you," I said. Now, those were always the first three words I said to her.

"Love you too."

I turned in her arms and gathered her close to me. I sighed as our lips met and my mouth moved gently against hers. Her arms ran up my chest and then her hands fisted in my hair as she pulled herself closer to me. I felt the heat tingling deep in my belly as her soft lips yielded to mine. I broke away when the need for oxygen became too much. I lifted a hand and gently pulled on one of the tendrils of hair that had come out of her ponytail.

Then I became aware of Carlisle clearing his throat from the far side of the kitchen. I glanced up and saw him standing there and strange look on his face. "Edward," he said when I met his eyes. "I need to talk to you."

I nodded and then followed him as he walked to the kitchen table. I took Bella with me. Carlisle glanced at her as he sat down and he nodded, indicating that she should stay. We sat down and I looked at him anxiously. I still couldn't read the look on his face. "I got a call from the Cook County Jail today," he began, his voice quiet and his eyes looking at me intently.

My hand tightened as my breathing became erratic. I felt Bella's hand on my mine, rubbing my clenched fist soothing. All I could think was that he escaped. I couldn't handle this again.

"Baby calm down," Bella whispered gently.

"Son," Carlisle said, trying to get my attention. "He didn't escape. He's dead."

My mind whirled as it tried to process this new information. "What?" I managed. I felt Bella's hand tightening over mine.

Carlisle reached over and put his hand atop mine and Bella's. "No one is really sure how, but he overdosed on pain medication. It is suspected that his attorney smuggled the pills in for him, but that hasn't been proven yet."

"What?" I repeated. I couldn't seem to put this information together. "Why?"

"I don't know," Carlisle said. "I can hope that his conscience caught up with him and after all the torment he caused you, after the murder of your mother and nearly killing you, he simply could not live with himself anymore." Carlisle sighed. "But I would imagine it runs more along the lines of he is a coward and could not own up to want he did and pay the price. He was facing at least fifteen years in jail, most likely more."

I stared at the hands covering mine as it rested on the table. I unclenched my fist and wrapped reached my fingers out, wrapping them around both Carlisle's and Bella's hand. "He's really dead?" I asked again.

"Yes," Carlisle answered.

I could feel the shadows that had lurked around the edges of my mind backing away. Slowly at first, tiptoeing away from my conscious. "He's dead," I repeated to myself. The shadows moved faster now, turning and fleeing from me.

I was free.

"I got another call," Carlisle continued. "Right after the first."

I looked up at him and waited.

"Apparently, with all this happening, your mother's will has resurfaced. Everything she owned now belongs to you. It's not much, but includes the house."

"The house is mine?" I said softly. I thought of the old house where I had lived with my mom and James. Mom had bought it about a year after my father died. She had sold our home in need of money.

I hated that house. It held nothing but pain. "I don't want it."

Carlisle nodded. "Then we will sell it. We'll go there to pack it up and then put it on the market. Done."

And he wasn't kidding. One week later, the entire family plus Bella, Jasper and Rosalie were on a plane headed for Chicago. I stared out the tiny circle window and watched the city come closer. I remembered looking out a similar window and watching that same city disappear. I had been so unsure at that time, with no idea what life in Washington would bring me. I felt a hand tighten around mine and I squeezed back. I wasn't sure what to expect now and as the wheels of the plane touched the tarmac I wondered if this was a good idea.

After we landed, Carlisle rented an eight passenger van so that we could all fit in one car. We went to our hotel first, checked in and dropped off our bags. Then we were back in the van, the trunk filled with boxes, and I was directing Carlisle towards the house.

We turned down a familiar street and I saw the old brick building, where it was wedged between the two taller buildings. "That's my old high school," I said softly as we approached. I saw everyone's head swivel as they turned to look."

"Where's the fields?" Emmett asked.

"Baseball and football are behind the school," I explained.

"Oh."

This was such a different world from what they were used to and my uneasiness grew as we continued down the street. "Turn right here," I managed to say to Carlisle.

He turned and as he did, memories began to rip through me. I felt my hand tighten around Bella's. Her free hand came up and began rubbing my knuckles. "It's on the left," I said hoarsely.

The van came to a stop and for a second everyone was silent as they looked out the window. I knew what they were seeing. The small, shabby house painted a horrible green color. The chain link fence that surrounded the weed filled yard. I cleared my throat and studied my hands. Shame of where I came from filled me and I wanted Carlisle to turn around and take his good, pure family away from here. I opened the car door, ready to tell them to leave.

But Carlisle and Esme were already exiting the front seat. "You don't have to stay," I said.

Carlisle gave me the look he always gave when I said something he found absurd.

"Okay," I whispered, knowing nothing I said would deter any of the Cullens from being here with me. Bella came around the van and took my hand. I know the others went around to the trunk of the van to grab the boxes we had gotten after checking into the hotel. But I headed up the walkway, to the front door. "It's not going to be pretty," I warned Bella as I stuck my key into the lock.

"I don't expect it to be," she said softly. "This is where your monsters live, Edward. This isn't you. Don't for a second be ashamed. You belong with us in Forks, this is a house and what it holds does not represent you. Don't forget that, not for a second."

I breathed in deep and turned to take her into my arms. "I love you so much," I said against her hair. "Stay with me, once we get inside."

"Always. You are not alone."

I nodded and took a hold of her hand as I opened the door. We stepped inside, immediately the scent of stale alcohol met my nose. We walked farther inside, until we were in the family room. I stared at the carpet near the old couch and saw my mom's body lying in a pool of blood. My heart pounded in my chest and I clenched my teeth to keep from screaming. The door behind me creaked as it opened again and in my mind I saw James flying towards me, his fists raised.

"Edward." Soft, gentle hands touched my cheeks. "Edward, look at me. Look into my eyes."

I did and my hands went to her wrists, clinging to her like a drowning man holding a life preserver. I focused on her chocolate eyes and the words that came from her. "You have survived your past," she whispered gently. "No one can hurt you anymore. I know the memories are fierce, especially in this house. But it is only four walls and a roof. No one will hurt you here, anymore. I promise you that." Then she released my cheeks and wrapped her arms around my neck, holding me tightly. I drew her to me and buried my face into her shoulder.

Arms came from behind to wrap around me and I heard Esme's words. "You are not alone, sweet boy."

And then more arms were around me, Carlisle this time. "We are all here."

Then Alice's tiny arms, and Emmett's boulders and finally Rosalie and Jasper joined. A huddle of hugs, with me at the center. My heart filled and I knew I was safe. This house wouldn't hurt me, not with them here with me. "I love you all," I said hoping I was loud enough for them all to hear.

The huddle broke and I took a deep breathe, ready now to face the house. Esme, Alice and Rosalie each grabbed a box and went to different areas of the room. "Do you want any of this?" Esme asked me hesitantly.

I shook my head. "It all belonged to James."

She nodded and began throwing things in the boxes. We would donate it to Goodwill when we were done. Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle grabbed some boxes and headed to the garage. While they continued to put things in boxes, I took Bella's hand and led her towards the back of the house. When we passed the kitchen, she hesitated and I knew she was thinking of the stories I had told her about making dinner and being beaten. I looked at the cracked linoleum floor and the white tiled counter. Then I pulled on her hand. "It's okay," I whispered.

She nodded and we continued down the hall. I paused by a door and opened it. "My room," I said softly.

She stepped inside the small space and took in my twin bed, the old blue comforter. I watched her face as she looked at my falling apart dresser and the one tiny window above it. She swallowed hard and then turned to face me. "A little different than the Cullens."

I nodded slowly. "This is why I had such a hard time accepting what they gave me. I knew where I came from and why I was there. It didn't feel right to have been given so much when my mother had died."

"I can understand that," she said. "Especially now that I'm seeing it and I know how much blame you put on yourself. But, I really hope you understand now that you do deserve everything that the Cullen's have given you."

"I do, in most ways. It still feels like a dream though." I smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her gently.

"That I don't blame you for at all. I feel like I've been dreaming since I met you as well."

I gently tugged on her arm and pulled her out of the tiny space. We continued down the hall and came to my mother and James' room. I took a breath and walked in. I had rarely gone in this room when I lived here. It was just as depressing as the rest of the house. Small, dirty and reeked of unwashed bodies. "I don't know what I'm hoping to find," I whispered. "But I'm hoping she kept something from my dad."

Bella nodded and walked over to the closet. Before I could stop her, she pulled one side opened. A loud gasp escaped her and I saw her backing up. I went to her and placed my hands on her shoulders. "It's okay," I whispered soothingly. She turned and buried her face in my chest. I reached out and slide the door shut, blocking the various whips, belts and chains from her view. James had enjoyed variety. Bella shuddered against me and I held her tighter.

"I don't think it is possible to hate someone as much as I hate him," she said, her words muffled against my shirt.

"I don't doubt that," I said. "Although, I'm not too fond of him either."

I heard her surprised giggle. Then she pulled away and looked up at me. "I am so glad he's dead and can't hurt you anymore. I really think that if he wasn't dead, I would take all those weapons and use every single one of them on him and then I'd slit his wrists and watch him bleed to death." Her voice was fierce and her brown eyes blazed.

Love for her swelled in my heart. "I'd like to see that."

She smiled and the anger left her eyes. "I'd let you get some rounds in," she said.

I laughed out loud and pulled her close to me. "Aw Bella," I laughed. "I love you so much."

I went to the other side of the closet and opened it, revealing my mom's meager wardrobe. I narrowed my eyes and pushed back the clothes. "What are you looking for?" Bella asked from behind me.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Probably nothing." Just then I spotted a shoebox nearly hidden in the corner. I pulled it out and it was heavy in my hands. Staring at it, I walked to the bed and sat down gingerly. I felt Bella kneel next to me, her arms coming around my shoulders. Carefully, braced for anything, I took the lid off the box. "Oh god," I cried softly. My father's face stared up at me. "Dad," I whispered as I lifted the picture out of the box. I hadn't seen my father since the day he died. Immediately following the accident, Mom had removed all pictures of him. I had thought she threw them away. But she hadn't, not all of them at least. I lifted a shaky finger and traced my father's face.

He stood alone in this picture, leaning against a car, his hands tucked into his pockets, a smile on his face. This picture was taken before I was born, when Mom and Dad were in college.

"He looks like you," Bella whispered near my ear. I felt her chin rest on my shoulder. "Same green eyes, same messy bronze hair."

"Yeah," I said softly. I reached into the box and pulled out the next picture. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at it. I was four years old in the picture, sitting atop his shoulders. My tiny hands were fisted in his hair and a gigantic smile covered my face.

"You were so cute," Bella murmured. "So happy."

"Yeah," I agreed again. I tried to clear my throat. "We were at Great America, my first time at an amusement park."

I carefully put the picture on the bed, face up. I looked in the box and pulled out a gold ring. "His wedding ring," I whispered. I put it down next to the picture. The rest of the box was filled with mementos Mom had kept. Love letters, tickets stubs, a wedding invitation and a Cubs ticket from the game where Dad had proposed. I picked the picture of me and my dad up again. "I'm glad she kept this," I said quietly.

"Me too." Bella kissed my shoulder. She hesitated for a second, then she continued. "I wish she would have kept more from when you had entered their lives. Everything in this box, with the exception of that picture, is from before you were born."

"I know," I replied softly. I had noticed the same thing. "I think," I began. Then I stopped.

"What sweetheart?"

I put the box down on the bed and pulled on Bella until she was sitting in my lap. "I think, after he died, that she resented me, in a way. Not only because his last words were to me, but I think it was more than that. You said I look like him." I stopped for a second, trying to put my thoughts together. "I don't know if it makes any sense."

"I think it makes sense," she said. "I've always told you that something was wrong with the way she treated you. Most mothers wouldn't stand by and allow their child to be beaten. Not when there was something that they could do to help."

I nodded and looked away.

She touched my cheek and brought my eyes back to her. "I'm not saying she didn't love you. I'm sure she did. But I think you were right when you said that something inside of her died when your father did. I think it was the good in her, the part that felt happiness and love. Even though she was there with you, she abandoned you."

"I agree," I whispered. I pulled her closer to me and she laid her head on my shoulder. Slowly, I rocked us back and forth. "I want to go to their graves," I said after a while. "Do you think Carlisle would mind?"

"No, I don't think he'd mind at all. Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I think I need to."

She eased her head up and looked at me. "Okay."

We stood up and held hands again. I picked up the shoe box and walked out of the room. We found the Cullens amid lots of boxes in the family room.

"Hey honey," Esme said when she saw me. "We are just about done out here. We just have the master bedroom left."

"Good." I smiled at her, so glad she was here to take charge of this. I watched Alice and Jasper grab boxes and head towards the master bedroom. "Esme, where is Carlisle?"

"He's still in the garage with Emmett and Rosalie," she said. "You holding up okay?"

"Yes. I found a picture of my dad." I opened the box.

Esme stood and was by my side within seconds. I showed her the picture. "Oh," she gasped, similar to Bella's reaction. "You are adorable, so happy." She took the picture into her own hands. "And you look just like your father." She stared at it for a few more seconds, then handed the picture back to me. I gently placed it back in the box.

"I'm going to go talk to Carlisle," I said. I left Bella with Esme and they went into the bedroom to help Alice and Jasper. I hoped Bella would keep them out of the closet.

I found Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie in the garage. "Hey Edward," Carlisle said when he saw me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," I assured him. "I'm glad you are all here though."

"Of course," Emmett said. "Obviously."

I smiled at him. "I was just wondering if we could do one more thing when we are finished here."

"What do you have in mind?" Carlisle asked. He wiped the dust off his hands and looked at me.

"I'd like to go to the cemetery where my parents are buried."

"I think that is a wonderful idea," he approved.

"Thank you," I said.

Three hours later, the house was empty. After we had filled the boxes, Esme had called Goodwill, who had come with their truck and taken most of the boxes. The rest was destined for the garbage.

One by one, the Cullens walked out of the house, the work finished. I picked the shoebox up off the counter and looked around one more time. No happy memories existed in this house, I couldn't bring a single one to mind. Bella stood next to me and her hand slid into mine. "Come on my angel," she said. "Let's go."

Together we walked out into the sunshine. I took a deep breath of clean air and looked at her. We smiled at each other. "How do you feel?" she asked.

"Free," I answered. "How do you feel?"

Bella pursed her lips, then looked back at the house. "Hm. I feel grateful."

We made it to the van and climbed in. "No offense or anything, but I'm so glad to be out of there," Emmett said.

"Emmett," Esme rolled her eyes.

"It's okay," I said. "Personally, I'm glad to be out too."

"That house was so dark and depressing," Alice said. "I like our house much better."

"Trust me Alice," I said turning to her. "I do too."

A few minutes later, we pulled up to the Oakwoods Cemetery. "Do you want us to go with you?" Esme asked, turning around in her chair.

I shook my head. "I think I need to do this alone." I hoped I didn't offend them, but I really needed to do this by myself. Esme nodded and I saw understanding in her eyes. I climbed out of the car and entered the cemetery. For the first couple of years after my dad died, I would come and visit him, but the guilt had eaten at me and I stopped coming, unable to face my father when I felt like such a failure.

Mom's grave was next to my dad's and I went to hers first.

For a long second, I just stared at the words engraved in the stone. "Elizabeth Masen 1966-2008 Loving Mother, Faithful Wife." I frowned a bit when I read the words and I wondered who chose them.

Slowly, I lowered myself to the grass and knelt on her grave. "Hi Mom," I said softly. "I'm sorry I haven't come here sooner." My frown deepened. In my mind, I heard Bella's reaction to my apology. "Mom," I said again. "I don't understand what happened. I know you were sad when Dad died. I know you loved him a lot. But you said you loved me too," my voice dropped to a whisper and tears started to pool in my eyes. "Why did you let him hurt me so much? Why didn't you help me?" The tears spilled over and slid down my cheeks as I asked the two questions I would never have answers to. I continued, my voice thick with tears. "After you died, I felt so guilty. I could barely live with myself. I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy, like I shouldn't be happy. But Mom, the most amazing people took me in and I met this girl. She's beautiful and sweet. I love her so much. And she's helped me see that I do deserve to be happy. I deserve to be loved. I didn't want you to die, I wish you hadn't. But I can't live the rest of my life feeling guilty. I've been given a second chance at life and I have to take it." I nodded to myself. "You'll always hold a place in my heart, Mom. I won't ever forget you. But I have to move on." I lifted my fingers to my lips and then I pressed them to the cold stone. "Good bye, Mom."

I stood and walked to the next headstone. This was harder. "Hi Dad." I knelt in the grass again. "I miss you so much." I sighed and my eyes wandered over the words etched in his stone. "Edward Masen 1966-1997 Cherished husband, adored father."

"I hope you and Mom found each other," I continued. "I hope you guys are as happy as you were here. I'm doing pretty good, Dad. I moved in with the Cullens. They are incredible people. I think you would like them. Esme has an intense ability to love. Her heart is huge and she loved me right away. Carlisle is," I stopped and tried to think of words to describe Carlisle. "He's compassionate, protective and inspiring. He's a good man, Dad. I love them both." I smiled softly and shifted until I sat with my legs crossed. "I met a girl too. Aw Dad, she's amazing. She has a beautiful heart and a beautiful smile. She's my miracle. I love her so much." I ran my fingers along the grass and smiled. "Carlisle is a doctor. I think I want to be a doctor too. I want to help people like he does." I paused, thinking of what else I wanted to say. "I hope you know that no matter what happens, I love you. I always will. The best parts of my childhood were spent with you." Like I had with my mom, I kissed my fingers and pressed them against the stone. "I love you, Dad. I will make you proud, I promise."

I stood up and looked at both the headstones. I closed my eyes and felt the wind blow over my cheeks and through my hair. I let the memories come back. Those happy memories where it was Mom, Dad and me. We were a family and we loved each other, protected each other. I opened my eyes again. "Good bye," I whispered.

Then I turned and walked back. Each step took me closer to the Cullens. I walked faster and when I saw them standing at the entrance, I broke into a run. I stopped when I was in front of them. "Hi," I said breathlessly.

"How are you?" Esme said, worry in her voice.

"Good," I looked at each of their faces. "Wonderful, in fact. Can we go home now?"

Carlisle laughed. "Tomorrow Edward. For now, how do you guys feel about some pizza?"

"Pizza!" Emmett shouted and he threw his fist in the air.

Now everyone laughed. I held Bella's hand as we walked back to the car. Carlisle walked next to me, holding Esme's hand. He threw his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me tight.

I was home.

A/N I think I am going to cry. I am so sad that my story is reaching the end. Only the epilogue left. The epilogue should be up sometime today or tomorrow, I won't make you wait too long for it, there's no reason. Thank you again to all my faithful reviewers. You guys gave me such inspiration to write this and some of the things you had to say about my story really touched my heart.

I had an idea because I am not ready to let this story go. I've been playing with the idea of a sequel, but I'm just not sure if I have to plot to go with. If you have ideas, definitely let me know. But I do want to do something. First, I've had a request for an alternate ending, so I want to work on that. Also, I want to do various outtakes of this story in different POVs. A lot of the scenes, when I first imagined them were from the eyes of different characters and then I tweaked it to keep it in Edward's POV For example: Bella meeting Edward from her perspective, Carlisle's POV of when he meets Edward in hospital. Esme's POV of the scene after he has his nightmare. Please let me know if that is something you think would be worth reading and also, if there are any scenes/POVs you want.