Chapter 31: Afterglow
"There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remains a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know,
That when it snows
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen."
The fur wasn't as soft as it had once been, especially considering Rielle wasn't wearing anything, but she barely noticed as she leaned back into it, her eyes closed. She murmured softly to herself as a few last tingles echoed through her flesh. Physical ecstasy could do a lot to compensate for certain sub-par amenities.
Rielle lay there until the feelings faded away completely, at which point she reached her hand out to the side.
When it just found air, her eyes popped open.
"Zackel?" Rielle said, putting her hand down and patting the fur in her initial surprise. "Zackel?"
"Right here." Zackel said, Rielle turning her head towards the mage as he moved back into her range. "Was just making sure we didn't roll over my bags. What, you thought I disappeared?"
"Please. I just wanted to make sure I was the one to toss you out of my bed." Rielle said, turning onto her side to face the mage.
"Did I give you reason?"
"…I suppose not…" Rielle said. "It's nice to know that in some regards…you weren't a complete liar."
"…I try my best." Zackel replied with calm assurance, bringing a hand to Rielle's cheek and drawing her face to his. Rielle returned her now-lover's kiss with her own calm assurance, the pair eventually drawing away to lay on the furs and gaze into each other's eyes.
"All right, I'll be honest about one thing. You're definitely the best kisser. Though, there, you don't have much competition."
"I can only shake my head at the idiots who denied themselves the pleasure of touching that face." Zackel said, tracing two fingers along Rielle's face.
"Flatterer."
"I figure it's best to keep a steady stream of that going when my lady can break me in half." Zackel said, before kissing Rielle again, lighter this time, the Draenei closing her eyes as he did so. She felt her heart flutter in her chest, something she hadn't experienced since Draenor's fall had occurred, and something she would have sworn she would never feel again. Her old self would have thought it a weakness. Her new self, or rather her re-defined self, savored every iota of it.
"…Rielle."
"Hmmmm?" Rielle said. Part of her didn't want to talk, just yet. She wanted to lay there and bask in the intoxication she'd found in her mage's arms, under his gentle touch, and in her complete certainty that everything he said and did was true and shared with her.
"I do hate to bring this up NOW…but it's been going through my head all day. I need to do it before I lose my nerve."
Then again, he was still a man, and a mage, and hence doubly stupid. Rielle sighed inwardly. Well, at least he hadn't rolled over and gone to sleep.
"What?" Rielle said, opening her eyes. "What, do you have a disease?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. But…you might not like it." Zackel said. "All I ask is that you let me finish before you respond."
Rielle looked at the mage with an open, curious gaze, before she nodded her assent. Zackel took a deep breath.
"…We can't stay together."
"WHAT?" Rielle said, starting to sit up.
"Wait wait wait! You said you'd let me finish!" Zackel said.
"Then you should have picked a better way to open!" Rielle said, before flicking Zackel on the forehead.
"I couldn't think of one…" Zackel said lamely. It earned him another flick to the temple. "Let me clarify. It has nothing to do with any societal pressures: my race and yours know where they can get off if they decide to tell me or you that we're wrong for each other. And it has nothing to do with 'I thought you understood what this was' or any of that 'sex is conquest' bullshit, because I hate that shit, and I'd have to be a complete and utter MORON to pull it with you, for many, MANY reasons. And, well, it has nothing to do with lack of sexual satisfaction, because…well, yikes…"
"Please continue digging. The dirt arcs get more fascinating each time." Rielle said in a deadpan tone, now leaning her head on one arm.
"…Rielle. A lot's happened to us and between us here. But it hasn't changed why we came here. I did so willingly, but you were tricked into coming here. From Northrend."
"So?"
"…In that regard, we're still of two different worlds." Zackel said. "Even if I completely alter my philosophy about power, and believe me it's going to get a considerable tune-up, and even if I work out the most optimum route…it's going to take me time to reach your level. And not an inconsequential amount of time either."
"…Then I'll stay with you." Rielle said, putting her hand down and shifting her weight to lean on her elbow. "Zackel, all joking aside, don't ever, EVER think that you don't deserve me. After all we've gone through, how I feel about you…I'd consider it a personal insult."
"…Thank you for making that offer, Rielle. I knew you would." Zackel said. "I wish I could say I was short-sighted enough to take you up on it. But I'm not. That's the problem of being a games-person. You start thinking moves ahead out of habit."
"You think I'd be a hindrance?"
"Not in that way, no." Zackel said. "But Rielle…you went to Northrend for a reason. The fact that you would give that up means the world for me. But I am not your whole world. And if you had to tag along with me while I seek my own path to power…I fear that that fact would overshadow everything else in our relationship. I fear you'd feel trapped, like your skills were atrophying…much like how you felt in this fortress. Yes, what we share now…I'd like to think it compensated…"
"It did." Rielle said, and the truth in her tone made Zackel feel even more like a tool for making this topic their first pillow-talk.
"…But I know that the compensation wouldn't last. Worse, I'd know how you would feel. It would affect my training, turn it to try and make you happy instead of doing what I thought was best. I can't, and I won't, do that to you, nor to us." Zackel said.
"…And the same holds true if I brought you with me."
"Northrend is for the finest, Rielle. I'm not that yet." Zackel said. "If I went there, it would be a dice roll, and the numbers would be against me. I'd potentially be so out of my depth that I wouldn't so much be learning as I would be surviving. And just like before, you'd be torn away from your desires and would be forced into the role of babysitter. The end result would be the same. A budding flower laid low by weeds. When the storm ends, and we can finally leave these mountains…we have to go our separate ways."
Rielle was silent, the dim light in her eyes making her face hard to read. It was amazing how a Draenei's features could flip back and forth between blank and blatant.
"…You're right." Rielle finally said. "I guess we'll have to stay in touch until your procrastinating ass finally catches back up to me. Mail service in Northrend is iffy, but…"
"Actually…I'm not wholly done." Zackel said. "I…don't think we should do that either."
"…why?" Rielle said, her tone strangely calm. Zackel closed his eyes and sighed; this was the area of his logic where he had no idea if he was right or wrong. And just like with Jasciona, it might cost him everything.
"A lot of relationships…they don't work out because people speed along in sharing obligations. They get caught up in its fervor, in all its possibilities…and they try and do too much at once. And what they try to do and make collapses under its own weight. I don't want that for us. I don't know exactly how many people you've been with, and how serious any of those relationships were, but I had one relationship that suffered from that, and that was enough." Zackel said. "Trading letters, visiting each other through magical means, even setting a meeting date at a certain place…maybe it won't cause any harm. Or maybe it will distract us away from the primary tasks we've set before ourselves. Give us a feeling of an obligation that shouldn't yet be there. Let its presence affect us, maybe good, maybe ill, but having an affect regardless. For someone like you and me…it might throw chains on what we have before it could even get off the ground. Basically…if you love something, set it free."
"…And what? You think that because of how we feel, and how we're so selfless…the Light will guide us back together? Some nonsense like that?" Rielle said.
"…Perhaps. It brought us together now, didn't it?"
"These circumstances are not prone for repeats."
"…yeah. More than you realize." Zackel said. "That's the final part of this, Rielle. We were thrown together, forced into a crisis situation, subjected to all sorts of crap due to the machinations of an outside influence…and we found each other. By itself, it's more precious to me than any amount of power or money…but in the big picture, it's not exactly the healthiest way for a relationship to come about. Add in all the pitfalls I just listed…well, love is always tricky. But too many people try and take it on its face. You and I know that life's not like that. That life is a test…and the sooner you begin putting something to the test, however you do so…the sooner you can realize if what you have is something that will endure. All I want…is for what we have to endure. And all my thinking…brought me back to this."
"…So all we have is this, and then we part. And leave it to chance if we ever meet again, or if we're the same person when we do." Rielle said quietly.
"…Yes. I can try and spin it as much as I want, but yes. That's what I think is best." Zackel said. "I think that with what I feel…what we have…no matter what, we'll find each other again. When things are better. When we can be all we can be together, instead of either of us being a hindrance to the other. For you, Rielle…I would gladly sacrifice months for a lifetime, rather then the other way around."
Rielle was silent again.
"…But I'm just one part of this. You're the other." Zackel said, closing his eyes. "If you have a better argument, if you see flaws in mine I don't, if you can prove I'm as big an idiot and a piece of shit as I feel…then I'll listen. And we'll decide on what's best."
"…you were not the only one who had these thoughts, mage. I've turned them over in my head too." Rielle said. "…Okay."
"…what?"
"I would love to argue, berate, smack you around…but as much as it pains me to say it, you're probably right. So we'll do what you suggest." Rielle said, raising her eyes to look into Zackel's once more. "On one condition."
"Yes?"
"Whatever you do…if you do ANYTHING that would have disappointed me…then don't bother looking me up." Rielle said. "Because if…WHEN, we meet up once more…I'll know. And that would be worse if I never saw you again. At least with that…I can comfort myself with the possibility you just died. A cold comfort…but one I could accept, in time. Anything else…don't you dare do anything that would disappoint me."
"…Done." Zackel said. Rielle let out a slow breath.
"You just talked me into the second-stupidest thing I ever heard. I really have fallen for you." Rielle said, flicking Zackel in the forehead.
"Well, I suppose I had to wear you down eventually." Zackel replied, his tense muscles finally relaxing. "Wait, second-stupidest? What was the first?"
"It's tied with everything else you ever said." Rielle said, the faint sadness of their choice fading away in her eyes, replaced again with the same vital passion Zackel was glad he'd help bring back to the Draenei. Even if their relationship didn't work in the long run, he felt content at that fact. Magicians tended to be destroyers, the breakers of armies and countries. It was nice to occasionally create something.
"Walked into that one."
"It's our last night together. Need to get them where I can."
"Well yes. Now that the BIG issue is out of the way, there are several secondary issues about our relationship I'd like to address." Zackel said. "Number One. While I am quite willing to…"
Zackel's words cut off as Rielle gave him a light but firm shove, forcing him onto his back, Rielle keeping her down with her hand as she slipped on top of him.
"Rie-"
Rielle stopped the mage's words against by placing her finger against his lips. Zackel went quiet, looking up into the Draenei's beautiful face, her bangs of hair undone from her horns and dangling slightly above it, and of course, her wondrous eyes.
"You talk too much." Rielle whispered, and kissed Zackel again. The feel of her lips and her body against him made Zackel realize that yes, there were better ways they could spend the next few immediate hours. Reaching up, her drew her fully against him, feeling her heartbeat against his chest even as he traced his fingers lightly over her horns and down against her cranial tendrils, feeling the Draenei stiffen as he did so.
"Mmmmmm…oh Kel."
"…Call me Zack."
And for a long period of bliss, the two Alliance members knew only the warmth of each other.
"Now that your rose is in bloom…
A light hits the gloom
On the gray…"