Title: Regretful Optimism
Author: Sicilian Maiden
Pairing: Ayumu Narumi/Hiyono Yuizaki
Fandom: Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna
Theme: #8—our own world
Rating: PG-13 (minor language, suggestive themes, minor violence, death/suicide)
Disclaimer: All characters of Spiral are the property of Kyou Shirodaira; I alleged no possession of said characters. I only request to take them to over-rowdy soccer games and force them to play at gunpoint. (Slight warning: This story could be considered AU as the Blade Children will be in existence but not how we know them. However, this is still in the same time period with all of the same characters. There is only some minor detail changing.)
Summary: We knew it couldn't last but it didn't matter—we loved for today.
Howdy! So, as I've stated, this story could be looked at as AU. I'm unsure if 30 Kisses on LJ allows AUs so I'm just winging it. Please enjoy and let me know your true thoughts. Es muy importante. Grazi. C:
- There are more inspirations to this story and the disclaimers involving said inspirer-ors are at the bottom.
Edit: Yes! Numero 9!
-o-
He was probably the only man I could've ever loved with such strength. It was all my fault.
Underneath the chandelier's light,
You broke the rules and took my night.
His parties were always so extravagant. I never truly understood why someone would want to throw such boisterous celebrations. But I was his daughter so I guess my opinion didn't really matter to him. It was at times like these that I was reminded of kaa-san and the words she told me often before she passed away:
'Just smile and be a good hostess.'
Sure, whatever you wish, kaa-san. Otou-san always held such illustrious festivities. Even the smallest reason to celebrate called for an immaculate party. I, personally, never liked to be in the spotlight but when you were Yuizaki Reiko's only daughter, you were frequently shoved onto a pedestal where others would "ooh" and "ahh" at you over the most minuscule details. Let's just say, that at nineteen, it got old very fast. These parties also required constant cheerfulness on an attendee's part. "Wear a smile or get out," was otou-san's motto when it came to the subject of a celebratory atmosphere. Even children as young as three were told to not shed a tear.
"Children should be seen, not heard." Another favored mantra of otou-san.
I quickly bored of watching everyone in the room pull on a falsified facade in order to please Yuizaki Reiko, famous writer. So when I saw him, I was most definitely intrigued.
Our parents said it was impossible,
To feel love this young was inconceivable.
On one particular night, otou-san stated that he would be throwing a victory celebration. His newest book became the most popular piece of literature in the entire country. I was so happy for otou-san and his accomplishments. I could only have wished that kaa-san was here to see how far he had come.
That night, I sat in my room, fully dressed and ready to head downstairs. As I finished fastening part of my caramel-colored hair back, I overheard otou-san talking to someone on the phone. He spoke with a gruff tone and I knew that he was greatly angered by whoever he was talking to. I was only able to hear snippets of the conversation but I did hear a familiar name: Narumi.
The moon above, the starry sky,
We couldn't have imagined a better time.
It all created the opportune moment.
Hours later, I was wedged between two overly-chatty women who were bent on commenting me for the rest of the night. I only smiled at them kindly though I never heard a single word they said. It was when a warm breeze whispered through the room that I looked up and noticed the two, grand, double doors which had been opened to accommodate for the overly-muggy, August night. The scent of the irises outside floated in on the wind and welcomed me to the flower garden.
Muttering a quick excuse, I slipped between the crowd, coming to a stop as I took in the sight. Kaa-san had constructed the garden years ago and with the recent heat, the entire collection of floras blossomed. It was the striking view of kaa-san's French irises that drew my attention. I strolled over to the small patch of flowers and plucked a plumb-colored specimen, inhaling the peculiar perfume.
Suddenly, the scuffling sound of another alerted me and quickly, I turned to see that, in fact, someone else had joined me. With a brief once-over, I realized it was him—the one I dubbed Mr. Moody-Broody-Man; the one who had refused to smile for otou-san. Just as I was about to comment on his lack of necessary happiness, an unexpected blush came over my face and I found myself unable to say anything.
Aw, crap.
We were like Romeo and Juliet,
We knew we were in love as soon as we met.
The funniest part of the whole confrontation had to be that fact that even Mr. Moody-Broody-Man seemed to flush. Yes, the most stoic-looking guy in the house, (probably even in all of Japan), was at a loss of words. Promptly, I stood, brushed off any dirt that might have accumulated on my dress, and, on instinct, held out my hand. However, I had forgotten that in the hand I had just jutted out, a delicate iris was being held. Thankfully, the auburn-haired man took the flower with a gentle smile.
"A-Ano... I'm Yuizaki H-Hiyono," I breathed. Wow, I felt like such an imbecile. Well done.
Keeping the flower in his other hand, the man took my own and shook it lightly adding, "Narumi Ayumu."
Narumi—that's where I had heard the name before.
As much as otou-san hated it, I had deep obsession for mysteries and detectives. Since kaa-san's murder, otou-san forbade any member of the local law enforcement near our home. He said that the government had become corrupt and no one who worked with them could be trusted. The Narumi family members were very prominent in the police force. Narumi Kiyotaka was a big name in crime solving. He had cracked one of the most difficult cases in Japan's history.
The case of the Blade Children had been ongoing for over five years. I couldn't remember at the moment what the details were but I knew that it had something to do with a cult of some sort that had been recruiting children from all over the world. Kiyotaka-san had a younger brother though I never learned his name.
'This must be him,' I thought.
For the next few moments, we continued to stare at one another. I took in his unkempt, auburn hair and burning, chocolate-colored eyes. His lithe form was shadowed in the moonlight and, as I stood there, I knew that I had never seen anything as beautiful before in my entire life. He approached me as if to ask me something but as soon as he was within half a foot of me, otou-san came barging out of the house.
"You! What do you think you're doing here? Identify yourself," he demanded. My new acquaintance watched in semi-fascination—otou-san was quite the humorously angry man. His golden eyes looked crazed while his graying hair was beginning to become mussed up.
"Gomen. I'm Narumi Ayumu," the younger man replied.
"Narumi!?" Otou-san asked enraged. Darn it. If Narumi-san was smart, he would have given a false name. When I had made the connection between his name and occupation, I should have told him to leave. If otou-san got annoyed with just the mere mention of a police officer, I couldn't imagine how infuriated he would become when he saw the same man in person.
"O-Otou-san. Please, Narumi-san was just leave. Right, Narumi-san?" I turned to watch him with wary eyes. I was completely engrossed with his safety.
"Hai, Yuizaki-chan, I was. I apologize Yuizaki-san," Narumi-san bowed before brushing past me to the large gates that enclosed our home.
"You," otou-san pointed at me, "in the house now. We'll talk later." He was furious. I winced when his voice carried high enough for our guests to hear him. This was going to be quite the embarrassing night.
Knowing our fate, we sealed it away,
The knowledge we kept was enough to sustain.
Again I was faced with my solitariness. Otou-san had yelled at me for a good twenty minutes before he finally sighed, "I'm not sure what to do with you," and left. I pulled out one of my many journals, opened up to crisp page, and wrote about today's adventures.
It was when I changed from my dress into some fresh jammies (aka pajamas), that I found a small card. On it was Narumi-san's name and the title: P.I., Tokyo Police. I smiled at it knowing fully well were I was heading to tomorrow.
We held onto the world for as far as it went,
The obstacles we passed with the time that we spent.
The next morning, I was silently standing in front of the police department. I told otou-san that I was heading out for some new stationary. He seemed pleased that I might be taking up writing.
I swiftly walked up the stairs and through the revolving doors. Suddenly, I found myself thrust into a world of whizzing people who seemed too absorbed in their work to notice me. I saw an older looking man sitting at a desk, his ear glued to the telephone that was resting in the crook of his neck as he jotted something down. I waited for him to finish before I spoke up.
"Excuse me..."
"Hai," he replied looking at me as if trying to place me.
"I'm Yuizaki Hiyono," at this, I noticed the recognition appear in his eyes. Not waiting for him to say anything, I persisted, "I'm looking for Narumi Ayumu."
"Ah. Ayumu-san? You his girl or something?" he smiled lecherously, leaning over the desk to get a better view of me. I took a step back and nodded my head.
"Girlfriend then?"
"Ah, no! I m-mean, I was l-looking for Narumi-san," I tried to correct myself. The strange-looking man stood up from his seat and walked around to the front of his desk. As he was about to reach his hand out, someone shouted.
"Uniida!" I quickly jumped back and saw Narumi-san approach us.
"Aw, Narumi-san..." he whined. "You're absolutely no fun."
"Get lost," Narumi-san grabbed my hand and lead me away. When we were out of earshot, he pulled me closer and whispered, "Gomen, Yuizaki-chan. I didn't know he would act like that."
"It's o-okay," I stuttered. Having him this close to me made my stomach feel nauseous, but not in a bad way.
"So, what can I do for you?" he asked kindly, his eyes shining with gentleness though I could see the nervousness behind them. It seemed as if Narumi-san was new to this whole love thing too.
"I-I just came to see you and apologize for otou-san's behavior. It was uncalled for," I hastily spoke. I didn't want Narumi-san to get the wrong idea about my family.
"It's alright," he muttered. I could clearly see a powdering of pink on his cheeks.
We tried our hardest to defy the odds,
We knew it was a long shot,
We could care less.
Over the next few weeks, we grew closer. We kept quite about our love (if you could call it that), and only saw each other on the rare occasion. Often, Narumi-san would send me a letter or, on the scarce days, when I new otou-san wouldn't be home, I would call him. It was hard for us to go out in public due to the fact that everyone who was friends with my otou-san was told to keep a sharp eye and report back if they saw any "funny business." Even stopping by the police station was risky; otou-san had spies everywhere.
I knew that otou-san was frustrated by the police but that didn't mean that everyone who worked with the law enforcement was bad. Narumi-san was a prime example.
Of course, those tiny details hardly mattered to otou-san.
To the end we vowed ourselves,
If not today, then someday,
Someday, or eternity.
"Narumi-san?" I asked one afternoon. We were curled up in his bed, the window adjacent to use open though the curtains were drawn closed.
"Hn." I learned quickly that this was his common answer to things when he wasn't fully awake.
"We'll stay together right?" I shyly murmured. Talking about love and things relating to love often made my heart hammer at an unhuman rate. Narumi-san sat up and turned to look at me. His eyes were steely with determination. Without warning, he swooped down and captured my lips with his. Narumi-san's kisses always had a way of making me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
Slowly, he lowered himself over me, both of his hands beside my head. My face felt like it was on fire and, feeling a small surge of courage, I placed my palms on either side of his face to caress his cheekbones. Though the kiss was innocent, there were sensual undertones in the way his lips moved against mine. Soon my head was spinning, the heat from outside not helping the situation.
When he pulled away, our ragged breaths mingled and I could see I wasn't the only one affected by the touch. His tan cheeks were dusted with a deep, red rouge and I giggled, touching them with the tips of my fingers. As I traced his features I heard him say, "Does that answer your question, you silly girl?"
We thought we were being careful,
Even in our recklessness, we were wary.
Narumi-san talked of marriage sometimes. I told him that I would love to be his wife but we had our safety to worry about. It was admirable; the amount of courage Narumi-san had. I was always timid—using my otou-san as an excuse. I guess timid was the wrong word. No, there was a time when I was loud and carefree. But then kaa-san died and otou-san became harsher. When he started to yell more, I think I became more introverted.
But Narumi-san... Sweet, sweet Narumi-san. Through his nervousness, he always talked about bettering our lives. I was afraid to stand up to otou-san but Narumi-san said he'd even fight my otou-san if that meant he'd be able to publically declare his love for me. (I blushed whenever he said things like this.)
I should've said something. I should've seen it coming.
But we couldn't stay,
Because every tragic love story eventually ends this way.
Narumi-san and I were planning on telling otou-san about ourselves. We had the whole day prepared down to the minute. That night, I "invited" Narumi-san over for dinner. I told otou-san that in order to get proper closure over kaa-san's death, he should get to know someone on the police force. Narumi-san, I felt, would be a good transition. Otou-san was semi-suspicious but allowed it anyway.
The night progressed and I felt that things were going well. It was probably five or six minutes before we were about to say something that otou-san became cautious and finally jumped to his conclusion.
"I know about you," he declared after Kisana, one of our maids, had removed the plates from dinner.
"O-Otou-san?"
"More specifically, I know about you Narumi," otou-san spat, sarcasm clearly evident in his voice.
"Yuizaki-san, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Narumi-san tried to reason with him. When my otou-san became angry, he often became deranged.
"I'm sure you do."
"Otou-san please..." I whispered. This was not how it was supposed to happen.
"You're going to take my Hiyo-Hiyo away from me. I know you are so don't lie!" he screamed. At this, Narumi-san rose from his seat and placed both his hands up in a move of surrender.
"Okay, Yuizaki-san," he said as he backed away from the table. Though it broke my heart to see this happen, I knew it was for the best. We knew we wouldn't last no matter how hard we tried. Even though I knew Narumi-san did truly love me, I wouldn't allow him to get hurt because of my feelings.
Just when Narumi-san turned his back to leave, otou-san got up and pulled a handgun from the back of his pants. "I always knew you were a damned coward. I hope you burn in hell!" He pointed it squarely at Narumi-san. The next few moments will always play in my mind. I jumped up screaming, Narumi-san turned to see what the problem was, and otou-san fired one shot. I remember screaming so loud, it felt like my throat was being eaten away.
Narumi-san fell to the floor and I watched helplessly as his coughed, small traces of blood seeping from his mouth with each breath.
"Narumi-san!" I rushed to his side, tears burning trails down my face. The pain I felt in my heart was unbearable; and yet, when I heard him speak, the pain doubled.
"Yuizaki-chan," he whispered, the remnants of a smile on his face
"Please, Narumi-san," I sobbed, "please don't go."
"G-Gomen." I quickly pulled his head into my lap and stroked his auburn-hair hoping to calm my frazzled nerves.
"J-Just know, Yui... zaki-chan. I-I will always l-love you. For eter... nity," he breathed. I could only nod numbly. Within seconds, his eyes closed and I knew he was gone.
Otou-san... that sick bastard actually looked pleased with himself. I could feel the years of fury built up finally become unbottled. Ever since kaa-san's death, otou-san had become crazed. It was time I ended it. I gently placed Narumi-san's head on the ground and looked up at my frenzied, maniacal otou-san. Screaming, I jumped from my position on the floor and dug my nails into his arms. He shouted back at me but I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. The only sound I could hear was the intense beating of my own heart. Wrestling with him, I reached for the gun and, when I couldn't grab it firmly, I bit into his arm. With a hiss he released the gun and I made a mad-grab for it.
Finally, the gun as in my possession. I held it, my hands shaking as I took in what years of paranoia and corruption had done to him: a demon—a wildly lost soul. With all the boldness I could muster, I pulled the trigger and watched in fascinated horror, a sight that I couldn't put in to discernable words. In moments, he crumbled into a heap on the floor. I sighed, my nerves cooling slightly.
I viewed the carnage that had taken place. To think, only six months ago, I had met my one true love and thought we'd be together for eternity. Now, the man I loved so much was dead at the hands of my otou-san and in turn, I had killed otou-san myself. I was no worse than he was.
After eyeing a pad of paper on the table, I snatched a pen from a jar on a desk in the other corner. As I wrote, I could hear a few of the maids yelling for one another. They were drawing close by the time I signed my name. My chest was cold, deadened and my soul unfeeling.
Cocking the gun one last time, I felt the cool sensation of metal against my temple. I let out one staggering breath, smiled at Narumi-san, and pulled back on the trigger.
We tried and yet,
We knew every tragic love story eventually ends this way.
-o-
So... um, I apologize? No, actually I don't. :D I know I wrote a tragedy but I felt like writing one more. The lyrics in this story belong to me and my band, Chasing Eternity. (Shameless advertisement.) Our band will be putting the song entitled "Tragic Love Story" on our myspace: .com/ChasingEternity eventually. XD This is my first "really sad" tragedy in which a suicide was involved and I know that the characters are so OOC it's ridiculous but I wanted to try and think outside of the box and in order for that to happen, I needed to take the characters with me. Keep in mind, this is also inspired by William Shakespear's play Romeo and Juliet and the anime RomeoxJuliet.
Just for reference: I do not own the play Romeo and Juliet nor do I own the anime RomeoxJuliet. I do, in all actuality, own the song "Tragic Love Story" and the band Chasing Eternity. If you wish to use the lyrics of this song or any other song owned by Chasing Eternity, you only need to ask. Thanks.
Thanks for all your patronage. I appreciate every review given. Thank you, thank you, thank you for staying with me for so long. Words cannot describe my gratitude. I only hope that these stories are to your liking. If you have any requests, please feel free to PM me or send me an e-mail. Heck even in a review. Anyhow, thanks again guys.
Peace.