A/N: I'm SO SO SO sorry for the late update. IMPROTANT AUTHOR'S NOT AT THE END. And please forgive any typos, this was rushed, hehe...
Enjoy!!! XD
Warnings: SasuNaru yaoi, rape, some violence and language, lemon in later chapters
Disclaimer: Nope, Naruto is not mine (otherwise lots of yaoi fun would ensue)
As Sasuke escorted Naruto back to his - or rather their - room, an awkward silence filled the air.
The obsidian eyes continuously roamed over the tan skin, noting the flawlessness. He hadn't realized it before because of all the injuries but now that he was fine Naruto looked gorgeous. The frozen heart within his pale chest actually started to beat rapidly as he stared at his former friend. However when he stared into the blue eyes his heart faltered.
"Was it really that terrible?" Sasuke asked, trying to sound nonchalant about the question. Naruto flinched slightly when he felt a stab pierce his heart. He knew the raven wasn't sincere.
Sasuke shrugged it off as the blond not wanting to talk about it so he just remained silent for the rest of the walk back.
Once they reached the room Naruto immediately requested to take a shower. Being around Kabuto had made him feel disgusting and taking a shower would feel fantastic.
Sasuke nodded in response, handed him some of his old Uchiha clothes, and sent him into the restroom. He laid on the bed and stared up at the plain ceiling as he heard the shuffle of clothing from inside the bathroom.
Once the water was turned on something inside Sasuke's head clicked. Seeing Naruto look as beautiful as he did when they were kids, and the rhythmic fall of water in the shower were unlocking memories of that rainy day at The Valley of the End.
The memories made him grimace. He hadn't meant for all that to happen. Obviously he wanted power, but he didn't think anyone cared enough to get in his way, and once Naruto found him it was too late; Sasuke had already made his mind up and was prepared to do anything to get what he wanted.
Hn, now that I think about it, Naruto almost convinced me to go back with him. I was almost moved at how strong he was and how determined he seemed...almost. But in the end, the more we talked about our pasts, the more I realized how badly I needed to get away and how truly ignorant he was.
I thought it was pretty ironic how it started to rain though.
It was like the gods were mourning the end of such a wonderful friendship – if I can even call it that.
I'll admit, I was scared of him. When he started to let the Kyuubi take over it was like he was a different person, yet his conviction only intensified. But I can't really complain because I wasn't quite myself either...
It was when I finally beat him that I started to feel defeated. There was no joy in my victory. Just emptiness. When we delivered that final blow, we both did it to prove a point.
His point was from an age old argument: I told him in a fight once 'You couldn't even put a scratch on my headband'; that was his only goal during our fight.
My point was to show my brother that I could gain power without murdering my best friend...but that's not totally true.
Seeing him lay there, practically dead, the water caressing his tanned face, I knew I couldn't kill him. I'd ruined him enough as it was. He was beautiful, pure, and I'd tainted him with my need for revenge.
As I fell to my knees over him I was so tempted to stay and kiss him and hug him, beg him for his forgiveness, or maybe even take him with me.
He's always been perfect, especially back then, but now........
Sasuke didn't realize that he'd unconsciously walked into the bathroom and was now staring at Naruto while he showered. The blond looked just as wonderful as he did that day, maybe even more so. Unknowingly, he stepped in and hugged the smaller boy from behind.
"Uchiha, let go of me," Naruto said aggravated, but there was no real conviction behind it. Not because he liked it, but because he was just totally uncaring toward the situation.
No reply.
"You're getting wet."
He didn't care.
"Why are you even in here?"
He shrugged. There was no real explanation
"I hate you," this, again, had little conviction behind it.
"I don't care," Sasuke finally replied, "...As hard as it is to admit...I've missed you."
"Oh lord, cut the crap!" Naruto exclaimed, turning to face him.
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard you talking to Orochimaru dumb-ass! Just stop lying okay? I'll be your good little prisoner or whatever, just leave me the hell alone." His blue eyes unleashed a blizzard that chilled the brunette to his core. Then realization dawned on his pale features.
"I was lying to him!" Sasuke retorted, "I was trying to protect you from Kabuto!"
The blond laughed darkly, shaking his head. "You just don't know when to quit do you? Look Uchiha, Kabuto let me hear every single word you told that scaly bastard. So congratulations, you got just what you wanted: I trusted you just a little bit and now I'm suffering for it. I mean, do you honestly think I'm dumb enough to believe you'd be disloyal to your master Orochimaru?"
"Hn, dobe are you really that simple?! If I hadn't told him that Kabuto would be your new babysitter!" It was barely visible on his drenched, stoic face, but Naruto's accusations hurt him.
The kitsune was becoming more and more confused and trying his hardest not to restore his trust in Sasuke; however the possible truth that lay behind the Uchiha's words made it very difficult. Even though he was slightly bewildered, his blue eyes seemed a little brighter than they had in a long time.
"Ugh forget it! I need to think," Sasuke exclaimed, "in the meantime, finish your shower. I can't really talk to you while you're like this...sorry for interrupting." The smallest drop of pink stained his snowy cheeks.
As soon as the brunette left Naruto began screaming internally, Ugh, what the hell is his problem. I mean, who does he think he is just walking in here and doing weird stuff. He was almost unaware of the tan hand he'd placed over his heart in order to calm it's erratic beating. God, what is wrong with me?
***
Kami-sama, what is wrong with me? Sasuke asked, mentally kicking himself for doing such weird things.
He was trying to calm himself so that the heat would leave his cheeks.
Damn him for reawakening the thoughts I've repressed for so long, a sigh escaped his lips, He was always good at stuff like that.
The raven turned around, jolted from his thoughts by the bathroom door opening. His icy heart skipped a beat. Naruto was as beautiful as seeing the sunset over the ocean for the very first time.
Water still clung to the lean, sun caressed body, and his towel hung low on his lips. The Kyuubi seal could be seen, still carrying the strange burns and the extra seal. His eyes seemed slightly bewildered, but they were brighter than they had been in a long time.
"So what's wrong with you?" Naruto asked, leaning against the door frame.
Sasuke, captivated by the blonde's body, could barely register the question, let alone answer it. "Um...you should go get dressed," the brunette said, swallowing over the lump in his throat. He focused enough to hand Naruto some clothes.
"Okay...I don't see what the big deal is though," the kitsune mumbled under his breath. Clearly he didn't realize what a bombshell he was.
Sasuke stared at the opposite wall as Naruto began redressing himself in old Uchiha clothes. Dammit what the hell is wrong with me; there's no way my past feelings could have resurfaced so quickly. A grimace momentarily crossed his face as realization hit him. It was gone as soon as his dark eyes turned back onto the object of his (renewed) affection.
"So explain what the hell is going on with you," Naruto commanded, crossing his arms. "Did that stick up your ass finally crumble away from all the pressure?"
With effort Sasuke managed to smother the smirk that tried to surface. "Hn, not exactly. I just really need to talk to you about some stuff okay?"
Just as he finished the sentence a sharp pain rippled out from his shoulder blade, causing him to clench the black curse mark while sucking in air through his clenched teeth. Naruto was concerned but made no move to help – he understood what was happening.
"As I was saying, we need to talk – but not here, outside." The pearly whites were still clamped together as the raven spoke. Damn that bastard! Hn, reminding me to 'stay away from his Naru-chan'. Disgusting.
Naruto was suddenly conflicted by the mention of going outside. He hadn't seen daylight in quite some time. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he thought: If only they hadn't taken my chakra away I'd be able to escape. Being that close to freedom is going to be torture. He sighed again.
During his moment of self-pity, the kitsune hardly even noticed the pale hand that took hold of his own, and lead him swiftly down the hall. He was tempted to protest but he knew that that could be fatal considering they were sneaking away. Sasuke, of course, would never admit it but he had at least a single butterfly in his stomach from holding Naruto's hand.
Once the two shinobi stepped outside they were blinded by the sunlight. Orochimaru's latest hideout was in the desert so the sun was especially bright. Hearing Naruto's quiet whimpers because of his tender eyes, Sasuke carefully guided him into a nearby cave. It was the ideal location for the two of them to talk while their eyes adjusted to the new lighting.
"Now can you tell me what the hell is going on?" Naruto asked.
For one second Sasuke got nervous and considered lying to the kitsune, but he knew it would be back to bite him later. Even though the consequences of this confession could be immense, Naruto needed to know the truth: that someone loved him deep down. No matter how difficult the story was to tell it needed to be told. After a slight hesitation, the brunette began, "Put simply, I'm in love with you Naruto. I have been for a whi-"
Naruto cut him off instantly. "Shut up!" he screamed, glaring venom at the pale man in front of him. Hearing the Uchiha's words, several emotions – ranging everywhere from pain to confusion to anger – passed through the blonde's features; his heart was in turmoil.
"Naruto I'm telling you the truth!" Sadness seeped into the dark depths of his black eyes.
"Then why'd you always seem like you couldn't stand me? Why'd you fight me constantly? Why did you try to kill me back then?!" he asked hysterically. Then a deep pain filled his eyes as he said, "If you love me like you say, why'd you let me stay here in this hell?"
A pale hand tentatively reached out to touch the blonde's hand but it was jerked away before he got the chance. "If you'll just hear me out I can explain everything." Sasuke's voice was came out strained by all the accusations, and talking over the lump in his throat was difficult.
Naruto remained silent. He was really interested in the lame-ass excuses Sasuke was going to come up with. His glare never relented but he would allow the brunette to plead his case atleast.
"Well, going in order by your questions, it takes us back to the very beginning," Sasuke started, his voice layered with mixed emotions as he sat down across from Naruto. "I took an interest in you way back when we were little kids. We were suffering from practically the same situation but I admired the way you handled it. And then that kiss came along during academy and I knew right then that I definitely liked you.
"From then on I had to make sure I kept being indifferent towards you; I knew if you found out, the idea of us together would probably disgust you or makes things awkward at best. At the same time, I couldn't stand to see you get hurt, so I protected you by becoming your ultimate rival. That's why I tried to keep the spotlight on myself during missions like the one in the Hidden Mist Village. Fighting you all the time kept us closer...in a way."
The first few puzzle pieces clicked together. Something told Naruto that Sasuke was telling the truth but it was still unbelievable. He was sitting against the rough cave wall that was opposite Sasuke. As he listened he gazed out at nothing. Thinking back to those days of his childhood it all managed to check out. That explains why he dove in front of me when we fought Haku...and why whenever he saved me an insult soon followed..., he reminisced, a glassy look over his eyes.
Naruto's glazed look didn't go unnoticed by the Uchiha but he continued, knowing it was too late to stop now, "So, going toward that fateful day at the Valley of the End: the day my brother went after you I was terrified; I honestly thought he was going to kill you Naruto. And then when I couldn't beat him I was ashamed. It made me realize that there was no way I was good enough for you if after all this time I still couldn't defeat Itachi and fulfill my lifelong goal as an avenger.
"My only problem up until that point was that I couldn't afford to pay the price required to achieve Mangekyo Sharingan; that was the only way I'd ever be strong enough but I'd never be able to kill you. Anyone else I probably could have done it, but not you Naruto. You are, to this day, my only true weakness. Realizing that scared the hell out of me.
"After that, I knew I was in too deep, and seeing all the pain I caused you over the years without being able to protect you. Once I'd accepted that I knew the only thing I could do to completely solve the problem was to sever our relationship. But then the only way for me to get away with that was to go with Orochimaru and allow him to train me...However I never expected anyone (especially not you) to chase after me."
For a moment, silence filled the tense air. The only noise was the inaudible sound in Naruto's mind of puzzle pieces clicking into place. It seemed so unreal that Sasuke had been thinking this way all that time. A part of his mind couldn't even grasp it, while the other half whispered, It makes perfect sense.
"So on that day, I just let the curse mark overshadow everything...but then I barely stopped myself before I killed you." - a sob wanted to shake his body even though no tears came - "My entire body was numb while I looked down at you. The only thing that kept me from staying to help you was the knowledge that you'd be better off when I left. I avoided thinking about how hurt you were going to be later on whenever you came to. Every part of me screamed in protest but I ignored it and walked away. My goal was to remove any remaining feeling you may have had for me; make the moment so totally painful that you would feel absolutely nothing. The clouds cried the tears I was to ashamed to let fall."
Click. Another puzzle piece. Naruto couldn't explain why, but he almost pitied Sasuke. Maybe it was because of all the suffering he'd endured. It may have even been mistaken for some other emotion. Still, the point was that he felt the sudden urge to cry at that moment and hug him.
As the silence continued to loom on, the blond had to clench his jaw for the long awaited answer that came next. "Of course, as usual, fate wasn't on my side...Hn, I might have just forgotten who I was dealing with. But each time we fought I grew more and more numb to what was happening. Finally, I just turned my entire self away from your presence.
"Conveniently enough that was right around the time Orochimaru proposed his plan to capture you. I figured what ever happened to you here would be much less painful than the things the Akatsuki were planning; here you would be killed instantly and I wouldn't have to worry." His pale fist slammed back against the hard rock wall. His face was twisted up in grim anger. "But that bastard, lied to me!
"I was so shocked and just pissed off when I saw you that I actually started to cry. Then, seeing all the shit he'd done to you just tore me apart. And when I saw you healed up, it completely ripped apart all the walls I carefully constructed to block you out. I'm not going to try and build them again either." Onyx eyes looked meaningfully at Naruto for the a few seconds before turning away.
Diluted eyes glanced over to see the stricken, pale face. All the puzzle pieces had been put together but the blond couldn't figure out whether or not he liked the picture. The onyx eyes didn't have the courage to see the expression on Naruto's face. Was he mad? Disgusted? Disappointed? Then, in the most tentative of whispers, the blond spoke. "You would've saved us both a lot of trouble if you had told me that sooner."
Sasuke looked up, surprised and confused.
"Don't give me that look. Come on, do you really think a ninja as skilled as myself would have lost my balance so easily back then? I meant for that to happen but after your reaction I settled on making you my rival...or if you were lucky, my brother." Naruto grinned, the slightest upward twitch of his lips.
Seeing the old Naruto come back - even if it was only a little bit for the smallest of moments – made Sasuke's newly thawed heart give a few powerful thumps. Unfortunately, the blond caught his momentary slip and immediately slammed the door to his true self shut.
"But you're too late, I can't trust you anymore. Our bond is broken." His tan head turned toward the dark abyss of the cave. That's right Sasuke, I can't give you my heart...not again.
A/N: Okay, first of all, I am SO sorry for such a late update, please forgive your wonderful authoress =3 -bow-
Second of all: THERE WILL BE NO M-PREG IN LMG. However, for those who did want it, whenever I finish this I'll create an alternate ending for if there was m-preg, okie-doke?
And last but not least, to make up for my absence, anyone who reviews and ASKS may receive a SNEAK PREVIEW OF CHAP 5
'Til next time, Ja-ne!!!