The Letter: Watson's POV

When I returned to where I had left Holmes in the end of "The Final Problem" I saw a cigar case with two letters in it. The first letter is the one published in my account of the situation, the other I deemed inappropriate to publish due to its sensitive and socially inacceptable nature. I'm including this letter in my true account of the situation (that Holmes requested I include in his account) to include an otherwise missing link in the story. This is how it went:

Dear Mr. John Watson:

First, I beg of you not to think any less of me after you read this letter, and if you can't, then please burn all traces of it and please do all you can to forget about it. I would also request that you not tell anyone of the content of this letter for the sake of my memory and honor. For the thing is, I have loved you, since "A Study in Scarlet", and I have known since "The Sign of Four". I thought it only fair that in the light of my eminent death that you know.

~ Your Friend,

Sherlock Holmes

I read this letter over and over again, unable to believe that I hadn't miss read. I realized with every time I read it that it was what I had been looking for; my relationship with Mary had felt so wrong, like it wasn't supposed to be, and when I was with Holmes everything felt right. I had felt it from early on in our friendship that I loved this man, but I thought his cold, emotionless, machine of a mind would never let any emotions, especially the softer ones, get in the way. I honestly couldn't believe what was written in the letter; Holmes admitting to loving, having the softest emotion, and for me. It was totally out of his nature, to love, and love me of all people. After I read the letter over and over again, I cried, harder than I ever had before, and most likely will (unless Holmes dies honestly before me), I cried for what could have been and for my friend, and all the pain I had caused him. I treasured the letter despite the doubts I had of its authenticity, I never mentioned it of course, to honor Holmes 'last' wishes.

This letter was the trigger to me feeling even more unrest in my situation with Mary, I could not love her, I loved Holmes and he loved me too, I could not replace her for him. I had married her because she was the second best, since I thought and still believed, I could never have Holmes. But now that I thought him dead and knew he felt the same way, it felt like I was dishonoring his memory; remaining with the woman who had most likely hurt him so much by taking me.

I felt so bad for Holmes, who I had probably hurt so much by being with this woman, it caused unrest in our relationship. My moods changed often and I would be pointlessly angry at her (in her view) when my mood became anger. I also missed him even more since I knew what could have been. Between these factors Mary became unable to handle me, and she passed away. I truly found her to be a good friend, and I miss her, but having Holmes back is worth a million times more. If you've read "Holmes Returns" or any of our adventures after that, you know that Holmes came back 3 years later.