Hey guys! I know it's been heaps long since I last updated, right? : DDDD... well... I shouldn't exactly be smiling when I apologise (or is it okay? My mum and I always argue about that...) for my late update. ^^;;... I'm actually doing pretty well these days, so well that it's kinda creepy, almost like a magnet's pulling all the pieces of my life together... so yea... life is fine~

I know my new username's like totally lame (not that my old one wasn't...) but I had to change it for... certain reasons... *throws jellybeans at my stalkers from middle school and Google*...

xDDDD... but as of now, I'm not exactly "not that great" anymore but I have signed my junior high school soul away to the International Baccalaureate Program so I'm gonna be busy being gruelled for the nest two years until I graduate... ahahaha...

I love you guys.

A nod of the head followed by a buzz ringing through the air signalled that the barred door had been unlocked. The white-haired teen trailed behind the burly man along a narrow corridor lined with people visiting their loved ones. Or not so loved ones.

It really depended on the situation.

Both men came to a halt when they finally reached an empty seat. The security guard grunted as he wriggled his uniform trousers up a little by the belt loops, his hard belly sagging over the edge. He eyed the teenager and the man behind the glass for a brief moment before grunting the official start of the visitation.

"Twenty minutes."

Toushiro nodded, watching the guard walk away before turning his attention to the man behind the glass. His lips parted as though he was meant to say something but nothing came out. It was almost as though, for once, the genius's brain was blank. Or maybe he had so much on his mind to ask but didn't know where to begin.

Deep down, something stirred in Hitsugaya's chest upon that theory but he quickly smothered it.

It was always like this anyways.

Every time.

"You're looking well. Been working out?"

Aquamarine eyes shot up to look at the man behind the glass. He hadn't changed. The same face with the same sharp features, same ash-brown tufts of hair and weary teal eyes. If this man had just been any man, Toushiro would not have seen the changes. But he wasn't.

He could see it all. The bags and dark circles beneath his eyes that stained his pale skin. How much higher his cheek bones looked against his hollowed cheeks. It was etched into every wrinkle, laugh line and scar on his face. Life.

Besides that, the lower half of his face had also sprouted some stubble. He needed a shave. Definitely.

"No... not really."

"Oh... okay then... It's just... well... I guess you're just growing then, huh?..."

"Maybe..."

Silence thickened the air, making it buzz and ring in Toushiro's ears. He would have resorted to looking down at his fists on his lap but that was a long time ago. Right now, he would resort to staring into the eyes of the man in front of him. He wouldn't be able to hurt him.

Even if he wanted to.

His Adam's Apple bobbed as he cleared his throat and swallowed.

"How's Ukitake?"

"Good... I guess... same as usual... just more protective that his niece is here now..."

"Why, you like her?"

A rush of red filled the boy's cheeks, his eyes widening as he fought for a legible response. The brown-haired man just laughed. "There's no need to be embarrassed! I just thought that there wouldn't be another reason why Ukitake would have to be protective."

Upon concealing his fluster in record time, he cleared his throat again. "Well... there isn't a need for Ukitake to be protective."

"But can't be helped, you know. It's not anybody's fault that my son's such a stud."

Silvery eyebrows creased in a scowl at the joke. It was a normal joke. One that a father would normally say to his son in pride. Or to occasionally embarrass him, just for fun.

But this felt sour. Almost as though Toushiro had taken a bite into a fruit and had received a mouthful of bitter juices instead of the anticipated sweetness he knew was there.

He fought his mouth's urge to turn up in the slightest smirk or to say something back.

Maybe another day, he would allow himself to smile at his father.

"Then again, I remember being around your age when I fell in love with your mother..."

Something grumbled through Hitsugaya's lips before he had a chance to stop them. His father had a difficult time hearing them but he could barely make them out. "Don't mention her."

"Toushiro..."

"Don't. Mention. Her."

"Why?..."

The snow-headed boy's head hung low. "You know DAMN well why..."

"But that's not going to change anything. It's not going to bring her back. It's not going to reverse the mistakes I made and things are NEVER going to be how they were-"

"You wouldn't know. Half of this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me-"

"I tried to kill my sons. Now, one of them is in a psychiatric unit, probably for the rest of his life; another is left growing up in another household without a mother or a father." Toushiro's lips set into a hard line, trying so hard not to give into the temptation of screaming. "And I'm left here to rot for the rest of my life and stripped of all chances to try amending things. Your mother's gone, Toushiro, but our current situation is neither Yukiko's nor your fault. It's mine."

He had to say something. It didn't matter what. If he just stayed silent and walked away, he knew it would eat away at him later. "But I-"

"Jesus Christ, Toushiro! You never had anything to be forgiven for! It's what I did! That's why I'm here! Why do you do this to yourself? Even I woke up to the truth one day but you're still straying further and further away! You're losing sight of everything!"

He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't frown or yell. He. Would. Be. Calm.

"Bringing the dead back to life does nothing, Toushiro. It's been five years... Just stop it. Please."

Toushiro's lips opened to argue back before he realised that he really had nothing to say.

"Everything you know and need is right in front of you but you don't even know it."

White eyelashes fluttered as turquoise eyes shot up, eyebrows creased in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean? What are you saying?"

Nothing came out of the brown-haired man as he bit his lip and cursed beneath his breath. "Toushiro, just forget it. It means nothing."

"No! You think I haven't seen it? The way Ukitake looks at me like he knows something I don't? How everyone, even the teachers and students at school, look at me like they're surprised by how I am? Like I shouldn't even be here? Everything means something…" The snow-haired teen slumped back in his chair. "Momo's the only one that doesn't know… she always looks at me like she wants me to be able to tell her what my secret is… but I don't even know it!"

"Toushiro… I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that… I promise I'll tell you when the time comes, I promise."

At first, it came out just as a whisper, yet so loud. The weight and meaning behind the one word seemingly burning a hole in the older man's chest. It seemed to be the entire reason that he was in this world. Even now, as he vegetated in the prison cells, only alive in his own memories of the past.

"Dad…"

Toushiro couldn't find the strength to be surprised by what he had just said. How long had it been since he had called this man his father? Since he even felt that he had one?

"Dad… please… Just tell me."

It was almost as though the battle between the two men was beyond the hills. No doubt, it was still there, but barely. Almost like the orange, glowing sparks scarcely burning their way through cracks in coal in a dead fire. Dead and unremarkable. But still there.

The wall between the father and son had seemingly been burnt down in that one moment, leaving to two in the ashes, still searching for the wall that was never actually there…

What was the wall anyway? Why was it there? Since when was it there? Or had it always been there?

"Toushiro… nothing else matters. I just want you to remember…" The father gulped down the lump in his throat. "That even through these broken promises, I still love you. And I still love Yukiko. And your mother loved you both. And she still does. So much. Despite everything that happened. Okay?"

Teal eyes across the glass seemed to dim behind white lashes. They seemed to have lost their life, close to appearing like broken shards of a crystal ball that had been glued together to their previous shape. Glued together. But not the same.

"Toushiro?... What are you-"

The buzz pierced through the room again as the security guard placed his large hand on his son's shoulder, signalling that their time was up.

The man watched as his child got up and looked at him one last time before walking away. "If you won't tell me, I'll find out myself."

He bounded out of his seat but restricted by the glass, his handcuffed hands not even being able to bang on the barrier. "Toushiro, no!"

The retreating form of his son grew smaller and smaller until he knew it was too late. Slumping back in his seat, he revelled in his own failure.

Everything in his son's life had always been so wrong. But never as wrong as this. No, no, no, no, NO!

This wasn't how it was meant to turn be!

Sunlight filtered through naked branches that creaked with every freezing breeze. But there was no brightness to bathe in. The golden rays seemed to have been dulled to an ash grey as they warmed Momo's face. Her fingers mindlessly fondled the dry grass she lay on, surrounded by crunchy caramel-coloured leaves, which had once been so green and fresh. All the birds and other animals had gone off to hibernate through the cold in their own warm, little nooks and crannies. Silence filled the cold air. It was almost as though the entire world was asleep.

Winter was here indeed.

The brunette made sure to wriggle her toes so that they wouldn't fall asleep. Her lips were chapped and dry, feeling like they were being gnawed away by the freezing wind.

'Where is he?...'

Hinamori remembered waking up that morning and Toushiro not being anywhere to be found. Her uncle had no idea where he had gone either. The two had pondered in silence on where the white-haired teen could have gone so early in the morning while cleaning up the shards of glass that had been left on the tile floor from last night's incident.

'So many things are happening so quickly that I don't even know what's happening… things seemed so normal less than a week ago… before his birthday…'

Almost unconsciously, the brunette's fingertips brushed against her bottom lip. When she realised what she was doing, she quickly slammed her hand back down onto the grass, going red with embarrassment at herself. She turned onto her side.

She could feel as giddy or as embarrassed as she wanted over what had happened between her and Toushiro on her birthday in his room but they could never actually run from it.

The two had, had no "progress" in anything after that. Like it had never happened.

'But it did…'

What did that make them?

Were they boyfriend and girlfriend?...

'No… it's not something that's official…'

At that thought, Momo felt something coil in her chest. She couldn't place her finger on what it was that was eating away at her. It seemed… akin to yearning. She pretended not to know why that feeling was there but knew that she knew why it was.

What would they have to do from here?...

Considering the time and everything that was happening, it probably wasn't the best idea to be interested in relationships with anybody.

'Especially for Toushiro…'

"What the hell are you doing?" The brunette tilted her head to ensure that the voice had come from who she thought it might have come from. A pair of frowning white eyebrows confirmed her theory. "You're going to catch a cold, baka."

The brown eyed girl smiled at him before rolling onto her side but made no effort to get up. The bed of dry leaves had become much too comfortable for her to leave.

Toushiro sighed as he made his way over to the girl's back and kneeled over her. "I said you're going to catch a cold."

There was no response. His eyebrows creased even more. He tried shaking her. "Hey."

Still no response. "Hey!"

He was answered with a groan and a wince. "You okay? Hina-BLEGH!"

Momo laughed as she quickly turned around and threw a handful of leaves into her housemate's face. She quickly jumped up and ran behind the tree for safety while still laughing at the teenage boy spitting the bits of leaves out of his mouth. His aquamarine eyes fixated on her with a challenging glare.

"That was cheap."

"That was funny!"

"You're going to pay…" The male lunged forward at an alarming speed towards the tree.

"No!" Despite her shriek, Momo couldn't help but smile without even realising it. She scrambled towards the front door of the house but Hitsugaya got there first. Lacking the reflexes to jump back, the brunette skid to a halt only to be tackled to the ground. She didn't bother jumping back up to run away. Not that she could with how her stomach was aching with laughter.

The brunette sighed in content for the first time in a long time as Hitsugaya opted to lying down next to her. "You know, if Rangiku found out that you tackled a poor, helpless girl like me, you wouldn't hear the end of it…"

"Poor helpless girl? What's that?"

A smile stretched the female's lips as she playfully punched her crush on the arm. She then resumed losing herself in the cloudless sky, almost feeling as though she was falling into the vast grey-blue. "…it's good to know that even a guy like you can have less serious moments…"

"A guy like me?..."

"You know…"

"Actually, I don't."

Brown eyes rolled. "Forget I said anything then... where were you today anyway?"

The once crisp winter air was suddenly thickened by silence as aquamarine eyes stared into the distance. Yet, they seemed to be staring at nothing. As though their owner was just losing himself in his thoughts. "I was… somewhere."

"Oh really? I never thought…"

"Wow, Momo Hinamori can be sarcastic?"

"Only around lame men like you…"

"And rude."

Momo propped herself up and sat with her legs crossed, crunching dry leaves in the process. She looked down on her housemate's face, him staring back up at her. He opened his mouth.

"You know-"

He stopped.

"Never mind…"

Hhmmm... I know I ended the chapter this way for a reason but it's still kinda strange ahahaha... see you guys! (After a LONG WHILE...)... 3