Wow, thanks for all the feedback! :) And, as seen in this chapter, Kyoya loves the customers' suggestions!
"Kyoya."
"Yes, Princess Kamimae?"
Aki took a sip of her tea and looked at Kyoya.
"I have heard about your project, and decided to take a look at these things myself."
"And?"
"Well… I am always represented as a bitch who can't wait to pay you to have sex with me, and you are usually cosplaying naked, as for the other customers, some of who are my friends for crying out loud…"
Kyoya listened carefully and took notes. Though he knew about most of the things Aki said, still, trying to look at it from a customer's point of view…
"Oh, and some of us even say Haruhi-kun is a girl! How foolish!"
It could be interesting, smiled Kyoya. Thank goodness she doesn't know that in the last project I labeled her "Rich Bitch Sue".
Paired with the new CD-rom his agents gave him, full of stupid stuff about the hosts, Aki's suggestions made a perfect continuation for his new project.
Part II: Hosts and Customers
From Kyoya:
Hosts
We don't cosplay as:
a) Chippendale boys
b) Forest animals (wth?)
c) Nerds
d) Nudists
e) Pole dancers
f) Flowers
g) Porn stars
Oh, and don't think just because I didn't add "furniture" we'd be glad to walk around dressed as chairs, tables and lamps.
We are not male prostitutes.
No matter how much you pay, we won't sleep with you for money.
Not even I would, sorry.
We won't welcome Nekozawa in the club anytime soon.
Or Chika.
Or Satoshi.
Or Bossa Nova.
Or you.
Or all of the above.
Just as the customers exit, we don't engage in hot gay orgies.
Or gangbang parties with Haruhi.
From Aki:
Customers
Just because we squeal at the sight of handsome men, we're not vacant-headed blow-up dolls with no lives.
Or stylish wallpaper items.
Or starving for sex.
Or all of the above.
We won't murder a host just because he won't marry us.
We are aware that all hosts are male, duh!
We don't wear that uniform because we have an awful fashion sense, but because it's, well, the uniform.
If you don't wear it because you can't pay for it… well, it's okay.
If you wear jeans and a T-shirt because you're American… that's not an excuse.
The Host Club goes on because of us, so a fic with the Host Club and no customers should be titled "The Host Club's bankruptcy".
We won't get off any host simply because he has a girlfriend.
And, so far, not one of them has.
Last, but not least, though we scream and squeal and love our hosts, we would never as much as contemplate the following line:
"ZOMG1!!!TAMKIYYKYOUYAHRUH1I!!1!!!111!HIKAOURU!!!1!!MORIHUNNYYAAYYY!!1!!11!"
OMG! A CLIFFY!
Kyoya smiled in satisfaction as he saw the utter shock on the others' faces after he handed out these notes, and as he counted how much Aki Kamimae paid that day for their services.
At home, a DVD was awaiting him.