Sorry for the long wait! Hope you enjoy! (And, if you like Aki, she's a side character in my "serious" Ouran fanfic)

Kyoya sat at his desk, completing the first part of the notes to deliver to the Host Club by the next day. Then he changed his mind; maybe giving them around wasn't such a good idea – what would some of them say? He decided he'd ponder on it afterwards, though: first, he wrote an introduction and some sidenotes.

(Kyoya's comments in italics)

OOC Part I: Canon clichés, exaggerations and opposites

In badfics, OOC usually shows up in 3 ways: one is the exaggeration of a canon cliché, and the other one is its opposite (most likely to appear when a Mary Sue enters the Host Club). Using a canon cliché is okay, but exaggerating it, trying to be too much in-character, can very easily backfire.

Canon cliché: Stupid!Tamaki

"Haruhi is my daughter! That's why I want to kiss her!"

(Suuurrreee…)

Exaggeration: Very stupid!Tamaki

"2+2=5! La-la-laaaa!!!"

(Milord isn's stupid in THAT way. You missed the point.)

Opposite: Bright and self-conscious!Tamaki

"Kyoya! I love Haruhi, I knew it from the very first moment, but tried to hide it! But I know this is the moment to tell the truth… will you be my man of honor?"

(Dude, Haruhi just turned 16. And did you even propose to her?)

"Oh, and I know the twins love her too… I know I will break their hearts…"

(Again, did you ask Haruhi's opinion?)

"I know for the first time in my life this is TRUE LOVE! I feel it! Oh, Kyoya, rejoice with me and…"

(Stop it, please…)

Canon cliché: Would do anything for money!Kyoya

"Hmm… I'll auction this tie, I think. I like it, but I can buy a new one any time. Then again, it'll surely profit me much more than it's worth."

(My school tie? Good idea! I'll put it on the auction site in a few minutes.)

Exaggeration: Would do REALLY anything for money!Kyoya

"Marry me, Aki Kamimae! Our companies will merge and profit much more!"

"Okay, but I can keep some lovers, right? But money above all!"

(We have seen this. Me + Rich Bitch Sue = Total Emotional Desert.)

"I think I'll put myself up for auction…"

(Not before you walk over my corpse, fanfic author.)

Opposite: Sweet and caring!Kyoya

"Darling insert: Haruhi/Renge/Aki/Sue/Tamaki, here, a bouquet of flowers I just picked with my own hands as I woke up at sunrise! Let's go to the beach to watch the sunset and collect shells, oh, my dear!"

(Who the hell did just say that?)

Canon cliché: Selfish!Hikaru

"Haruhi, we are your friends, not anybody else, like that Arai guy!"

(Canon.)

Exaggeration: Very selfish!Hikaru

"Haruhi, you are mine and only mine!" Insert detailed description of rape here.

(Okay, seriously? Wtf?)

Opposite: Utterly selfless!Hikaru

"Oh, insert: Kaoru/Haruhi/Tamaki/Sue/Mori, be happy as you wish to! I'll crouch a while in Tamaki's emo corner, but I'm sure my bleeding heart will heal! Whine! Cry! Sob! Angst!"

(I don't think we have the Emo Type in our club, but I'll check…)

Canon cliché: Loving and selfless!Kaoru

"I'll get over Haruhi. Hikaru is more important for me."

(That was noble of you, Kaoru.)

Exaggeration: Self-sacrificing!Kaoru

"Oh! Hikaru! Be happy with Haruhi, but, oh, I can't bear to lose both of you!"

Thus Kaoru pulled out a dagger and stabbed himself in the heart.

(Dude, poison is less painful, please, go for that next time. And no, that's not the only thing wrong with this piece.)

Opposite: Egoist!Kaoru

"Rawr! Hikaru! Let's fight to the death over Haruhi! Meet me at Hunny-senpai's dojo!"

(Can you even fight? I mean, karate, judo, anything?)

Canon cliché: Sweet!Hunny

"Yay! Cake! I love you, beautiful ladies!"

(Just remember to brush your teeth.)

Exaggeration: Sickeningly sweet!Hunny

"La-la-la! Usa-chan! Woo! Cake! Woohoo! La-la-la!"

(Hunny-senpai is 18. No, not 18 months.)

Opposite: Pervy old man sex addict!Hunny

"Oh, your ass is so sexy!" Hunny said to insert: Haruhi/Tamaki/Mori/Sue/Kyoya "and I even prepared a camera, being filmed makes me so hard and horny…"

(Get out, porn star. And I don't think this "movie" will bring profit to the club.)

Canon cliché: Silent!Mori

Mori didn't answer Hunny's question.

(That's okay, he usually just nods or something.)

Exaggeration: Mute!Mori

"Please! Speak!"

Mori didn't say a word. The insert tragedy here (choose from the following: he was diagnosed with some very serious disease/his father disowned him/he got Haruhi pregnant/his brother ran off with Chika and married him) completely broke his heart – no one would ever hear him say a word again. Never ever.

(Ah, the angst overload. But this is a bit too much, okay?)

Opposite: Chatty!Mori

"Oh, insert: Haruhi/Kyoya/Kaoru/Sue/Hunny, I think we should get married! You know, a beach is very romantic, but maybe you like a mountain field better, or would you prefer a beautiful meadow? And we should get some ootoro and other great foods at the buffet, and what about inviting a master chef from France, maybe Tamaki could help us with that and…"

(I think Mori would merely point at some picture, end of story. And there are more words here than I ever heard him say in three volumes in a row.)

Canon cliché: Detached!Haruhi

"I don't really understand how the minds of the customers work…"

(Me neither. But it brings profit! $$$!!!)

Exaggeration: Careless!Haruhi

"Dude, stop screaming! I have to go home and do the laundry!" Haruhi walked away, without giving a seriously injured and profusely bleeding Tamaki a second look.

(She even bandaged his lightly burnt finger… oh, never mind.)

Opposite: Horny!Haruhi

"Insert: Tamaki/Hunny/Kyoya/Nekozawa, TAKE ME NOW!!!" Insert M-rated smut here.

(I'll stop here and get some tea.)