Disclaimer: I do not own the show or characters, just an imagination on acid.

WARNINGS: One bad word and mutilation of a vegetable.

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"No."

That was Castiel's new favorite word. At least, that was Dean's theory. This theory was supported by the teen angel's constant use of it.

"Yes." Dean countered, pushing the plate back the way it had come.

"No." That was Cas's rebuttal. The strategy seemed to work for him, because the plate of food on the diner table was still utterly untouched.

"Suck it up, grow a pair and eat your damn vegetables."

Castiel made a face, and Dean could clearly see he was thinking 'A pair of what?'. Cas didn't say it out loud though. Instead he turned to Sam for support. The younger Winchester was sitting beside him in the booth, polishing off the last of his salad.

Sam tried to ignore Cas's pleading face. 'Dean was right; whatever you do, don't look at the puppy eyes!'

Sam broke and faced the full force of the awesome might of puppy-power.

"I'm going to go with Dean on this. The Tri - Gabriel asked us to take care of you. That means eating everything on your plate, including the vegatables."

"No."

Dean sighed. Sam registered that he had been doing that a lot lately.

Cas pushed the plate across the table towards Dean again.

"No."

Dean sagged, jump starting a memory in Sam's brain.

"Hey Dean? Why don't you just do what you did when I was a kid?"

Dean looked at him blankly. Sam continued.

"You know, when dad was out and I didn't want to eat until he came home? That thing with the ... sound effects."

Something sparked in Dean's eyes.

"Yeah, I remember that. I'm not doing it in public though."

Dean cast a glance over at the waitress he had been making eyes at all night. No way was he going to do the sound effect thing in public, not with an adult. He looked back to magnified effect of two pairs of puppy-eyes.

"You guys suck." He announced.

"Do you really want to tell Gabriel that we failed taking care of his little brother in the most basic capacity?" Sam prodded him.

Dean sighed yet again and stole Sam's fork.

"Okay, this is how it goes." He started, staring at broccoli in an attempt at avoiding eye contact. "There is a tournament going on, like the kind in karate movies that don't involve Japanese school girls."

Cas tilted his head. Dean went on, making good on his internal promise not to look at anyone.

"This guy-" Dean speared the broccoli on Sam's fork. "- is a real contender. He might actually be able to win this thing."

"Who is he competing against?" Castiel asked, eyes wide.

"He is competing against ... this carrot. During the first round at least. But it's not about winning, it's about not losing."

"I don't understand."

Dean looked up.

"The consequence of losing is getting mashed to pieces and dragged down to a pit of no return. Like the Sarlacc in Star Wars."

"I remember that part." Dean had showed him this 'masterpiece of cinematic history'. It had taken a whole week to get Cas to stop carrying around a light saber in public.

"Right, so, they have to fight. The loser gets chomped and the winner goes on to the next round. And so on and so on until only one remains."

"High stakes." Cas said, his whole attention captured.

Dean cringed. Gabriel had better appreciate the level of dedication he was about to go to. He speared the chosen carrot on his own fork and held it beside the broccoli, then tilted them slightly towards each other.

"Bowing." He elaborated for his audience. Then he made the veggies attack. With sound effects.

"Hiya! Ho! Arrgh! Wham! Ka-chop!"

At the end of it, the broccoli was triumphant.

"What now?"

"Now," said Dean "Now the loser is destroyed."

"Brutal." Commented Sam.

Dean held the carrot up for Cas to 'punish'. Understanding dawned on the latter's face.

"The only other alternative is a lifetime of banishment and dishonor."

Delicately, Cas chewed and ate the carrot.

"Who does the broccoli fight next?"

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END

Temporarily. Thank you to everyone who put up with waiting so long!