A/N: Hope everyone liked the first chapter! And a big big thank you to LukeandLorelai Brucas Fan for my first review! Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the story just as much.
I've decided to name the chapters using actual Episode names that fit the content of the chapter. It's going to seem quite random because they're from different seasons but I need them to be appropriate to the story too.
There are a couple of brief guest appearances in this chapter from another show that I adore. I couldn't resist! Hehe! Most of you who know the show will already know who it is after reading the first chapter but don't worry if you don't know who they are. Everything you need to know is explained throughout the story and for now they're only guests. They're not critical to the overall plot.
And lastly, you'll notice that I have 'borrowed' a scene from an actual episode (and not as a flashback) but changed it ever so slightly. Since I don't want to be sued (ha! Like I have anything anyway!) I'll state now that some of the dialogue used in this chapter is not mine and belongs specifically to the writers/producers of the actual show. It will probably happen a few times over the course of the story as I feel that some of the scenes from chapters after 3.16 are too important to leave out. And while I'm on with the legal crap, I will also say that I do not own One Tree Hill, or any of its characters etc (if I did, trust me the show would be very different :-P). I do, however, own Cassie.
Anyway, enough babbling, on with the show. Hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think...
Chapter 2 – I Forgot to Remember to Forget
Wednesday 25January 2006
9.30am EST
Tree Hill Memorial Hospital - Room 210
"How's he doing?"
The unexpected voice jolted Karen out of her half sleep and she jumped slightly, turning to greet the owner.
Cassie raised an eyebrow and eyed the older woman with concern. "Scratch that, how're you doing? No offense or anything Karen but Dad looks in better shape than you right now."
It wasn't a lie. It wasn't even an exaggeration. Karen looked exhausted. Her skin, free of any make up, looked pale and drawn, her eyes were bloodshot and her normally neatly styled hair was a mass of unruly tangled curls sticking out in every direction. Cassie glanced at her watch. 9.30am. She'd place a good bet that Karen had been there all night, since she never heard her come home the night before.
"Did you sleep in that chair all night?"
Karen shifted in the chair, trying to find a comfortable position before realising it was a battle she wouldn't win. She replied through a yawn. "Kind of."
Cassie laughed and took a seat beside her soon to be step-mother, handing her a cup of steaming hot Vanilla Latte, which Karen was only too happy to accept. "So really how is he?" She noted the fact that several of the wires had been removed from her father's chest and his face was now unobstructed by the oxygen mask that had been in place the day before. It had to be a good sign.
"He slept through the night, which the doctor seems to be quite pleased about. They actually seem pretty pleased with his progress. He should wake up any..." she was cut off mid-sentence by another yawn and she closed her eyes, massaging her temples in an attempt to wake herself up.
"Ok that's it, out!" Cassie demanded.
"What?"
"You heard me. Out! You're exhausted Karen. You can barely keep your eyes open. You sent me home yesterday now I'm doing the same for you. So seriously, out! My Dad will go crazy if he wakes up and sees you doing this to yourself."
"She's right, he will."
Both women turned, startled by the voice. Cassie's heart soared when she saw her father opening his eyes sleepily. "Dad!"
"Hey kiddo." He smiled and took her hand when she reached out for him. With his free hand he reached out for Karen, who quickly laced her fingers through his, squeezing his hand for dear life. "What's this about you sleeping in the chair all night?"
"Most of the night."
"All of the night," Cassie piped up, earning herself a mock glare from Karen, which only caused her to grin widely.
Keith tried to say something else, but being unconscious for almost two days had left his throat dry and he was interrupted by a fit of coughing. Concerned that he would split the stitches where he'd had surgery to remove the bullet, Karen quickly reached for the jug of water that had been placed fresh on the bedside cabinet earlier that morning. She placed a straw in the plastic beaker and filled it half way. Keith sipped the cold liquid gratefully as his fiancée held it to his lips. Once his throat felt slightly less like sandpaper, he cleared it and made another attempt to speak.
"How's Lucas? Is he ok?"
"Sssh." Karen ran a hand through his hair soothingly. "He's fine. He wasn't hurt. You got there before anything happened. Do you remember much?" She questioned him tentatively, not wanting to bring back a flood of memories too soon but feeling the need to get a better understanding of why this had happened.
Keith shook his head. "I remember being outside the school. Luke had gone in after Nathan. I remember talking to Danny. I asked him to get me inside so I could try to talk to Jimmy."
Cassie frowned at her father's words. Dan had helped him get inside the school? The fact struck her as strange. Dan Scott helped no-one but himself. And why would even Dan allow his own brother into a school where he knew a kid had a gun?
"After that... nothing," Keith continued. "Is Jimmy ok?"
Sadness overwhelmed Cassie at the mention of the boy she grew up with. Jimmy had been one of the kindest people she'd ever known. How had it gotten so bad that he would go as far as shooting up a school? When Lucas had filled her in on the events at the high school, she'd taken it badly. Lucas had spoken angrily of Jimmy, furious that he had almost taken Keith from them, but Cassie didn't feel angry with him. All she felt was guilt. She couldn't help feeling like she'd let him down, maybe if she'd been there to talk to him, she could have helped him.
Keith didn't fail to notice the tears glistening in his daughter's eyes and he turned back to Karen, a questioning look in his eyes.
She looked back at him sadly and shook her head. "The police said that after he shot you, he turned the gun on himself. He was gone by the time they got to him."
Keith fell silent. For some reason, despite the fact that he had no memory of what had happened, the news didn't shock him. Somewhere deep inside something had already told him what the news would be but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. He shook off the thoughts, turning his attention back to Karen. "You should go home." When she made a move to protest he held up his hand firmly. "I'm serious. The last thing I want is you exhausting yourself. Besides, you didn't look too comfortable earlier."
"You were awake? Why didn't you wake me?"
"Because you need your sleep. Plus you looked too cute to disturb." He smirked when his daughter made a gagging sound at his comment, then turned back to Karen. "Please, go home, get some sleep. I'll cope without you for a few hours. It won't be easy, but I'll manage."
"Oh please, please go before he gets any cheesier." Cassie begged, rolling her eyes at the pair dramatically.
Karen looked unsure, but relented. "Ok since you're awake, I'll go. I'll be back in a few hours." She stood and leaned over the bed, dropping a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm so glad you're ok. I love you." She kissed him once more then straightened up and turned to Cassie. "Keep him out of trouble."
"I'll try." Cassie laughed, standing to give Karen a hug. "I'll see you soon."
When Karen had left, Cassie pulled the chair as close to the bed as was physically possible and took her father's hand in both of hers. "You scared me."
Keith brought his daughter's hand to his lips and kissed it. "I know. I'm sorry."
She smiled and blinked away the tears that had appeared from nowhere. "It's ok I guess. Just don't go getting yourself shot again anytime soon."
"Cross my heart." Keith joked, making a cross across his chest with his free hand. "Are you ok honey? I know that Jimmy was your friend."
She looked away and began fidgeting uncomfortably with the hem of the bed sheet, not really wanting to discuss the situation. "Yeah I guess I'm ok. Mouth called Lucas last night. Jimmy's funeral is on Tuesday. Luke refuses to even consider going. He's mad at Jimmy for what he did to you."
"And what about you?"
She shrugged. "I just don't understand how it got so bad that he would do something like that. It doesn't seem like him at all, what he was like before I left anyway. I feel like I let him down. He was my friend and when I left I promised I'd keep in touch but I didn't."
"Hey." Keith squeezed her hand, gesturing for her to look at him. When she finally met his eyes, he spoke softly but sternly. "None of this is your fault. You moved away, you guys lost touch, it happens. If he'd wanted to talk he could have contacted you by email or phone. I don't think Jimmy really felt like he could talk to anyone about how he was feeling. Do you want to go to the funeral?"
She nodded.
"Ok then you should go. Lucas will come around. I'll talk to him. I'm not mad at Jimmy for what happened, and neither you nor Lucas should be either."
"I know. I don't think that's the only thing on Luke's mind though. He seemed really preoccupied when we got home last night. I get the feeling there's something else going on."
...
10.46am EST
Tree Hill High School
Lucas stared thoughtfully at the empty corridor where he had last stood. Memories that had previously been nothing but a blur began assaulting his mind with terrifying clarity.
"Hey where do you think you're going?"
He froze at the sound of the familiar voice, looking up to find himself staring into a pair of eyes that he no longer recognised. Jimmy stood before him, one of his oldest friends, with a shiny black, hand gun aimed directly at his chest. "She's bleeding."
"The schools are in lockdown!"
Jimmy's eyes were wild and the gun shook in his hand. He looked genuinely terrified. Lucas had never seen this side of him before and began to wonder just when he had stopped knowing his friend. The weight of Peyton's limp form in his arms reminded him of where he was headed and he finally found his voice.
"I know Jim. But if I don't get her out of here she's gonna die."
"I didn't mean to hurt her."
"We know that Jimmy."
As he stood there staring into the deserted hallway, Lucas could almost feel the fear that had gripped him when his uncle had stepped out into the hallway, intentionally placing himself between Lucas and the gun. That was Keith. Always looking out for him, protecting him, being there when Lucas needed him. The thought that he'd almost lost that was far too much to bear.
He pulled himself away from the hallway and stepped through the glass doors that led to the library. The first thing he noticed when he glanced around the room was that he was not alone. He paused at the entrance for a moment, staring at the familiar female who was sitting silently at one of the tables, staring into space, obviously lost in her own thoughts.
Peyton finally looked up as he approached the table, taking a seat beside her.
"Hey."
Her voice was quiet and it was clear to him that she'd been crying. He decided to try and lighten the situation a bit. "Man we should really stop meeting up like this."
It had the desired effect. Peyton smiled and let out a soft laugh. "I never did thank you," she almost whispered.
"Hey!" He reached out, placing his hand over hers in the hope of offering her some form of comfort. "It's ok."
"God I'm such a girl!" she covered her face with her hands, berating herself for the tears that once again seemed to appear from nowhere.
"You love me." Lucas teased, partly in an effort to cheer his crying friend up, and partly because it was an issue that he knew he needed to address.
Having spent most of the previous evening thinking over the time they spent in the library during the shooting, he was almost completely convinced that Peyton had not meant the words in a romantic way. As far as he was concerned, she was bleeding and scared for her life, and her telling him she loved him and kissing him the way she had, had seemed more like a goodbye than anything else. But he had to be sure.
"Ok that is so not fair!"
Well his words certainly seemed to have stopped the tears so his light hearted approach was obviously working.
"You probably just wanna kiss me again!"
"Dude shut up!" she pleaded, clearly embarrassed, and fumbled for an explanation. "Ok I kissed you but I... I thought I was gonna die, and you took care of me so..." She turned her gaze away from him then, looking down at the table top guiltily. "And you know we..."
"Yeah." He cut her off, saving them both from bringing up a painful past. "I know."
Silence filled the air and all of a sudden Peyton looked uncomfortable, almost like she didn't want to be around him. It hurt. Their past had been complicated and he knew that it would always be there between them. That was something that he knew he shared with her. That slight sting of guilt that he still felt every time he looked in Brooke's eyes, every time she told him she loved him; he knew Peyton felt it too. But he didn't want to lose her as a friend, especially after having come so close to losing her altogether.
"If I told you I loved you would you hold it against me?" he joked.
She sighed sadly. "Luke when I said that..."
"Because I do, Peyton." He interrupted, turning serious. "But it's ok, because there's this other girl, I mean you might know her, her name's Brooke Davis and I am completely in love with her." He emphasised the word 'completely' ever so slightly. He'd made the mistake of giving out mixed signals before and it had cost him Brooke. He wouldn't let that happen again.
Luckily for him, Peyton apparently felt the same.
"You don't know how good it is to hear you say that," she said with a look of genuine relief. "Cause I thought everything was gonna get weird again and I really don't want it to. We're ok right, you and me... we're good?"
He smiled reassuringly and nodded, glad that the air had been cleared and relieved that he had been right about her feelings.
"Alright...I should go." She grabbed her crutches and pulled herself carefully to her feet.
As he watched her hobble away he couldn't resist one last quip. "Hey don't kiss anybody out there."
She stopped and turned back to him, throwing a mock scowl over her shoulder. "You suck, you know that!"
He laughed and watched her as she left, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. But as much as one weight had been lifted in knowing that Peyton didn't have feelings for him, one much heavier weight remained. He and Peyton were not in love, that much he was certain of. But despite that, the kiss they had shared had ultimately shattered the promise that he had made to Brooke that he wouldn't hurt her again. He'd broken her trust once, and it had been a full blown miracle that she had found a way to forgive him. He wasn't sure she'd be so forgiving a second time around.
...
11.15am
River Court
Since most of her life had been spent in a noisy and bustling household, Haley had come to rely on the River Court to bring her a sense of peace. It was somewhere she could retreat to whenever she needed to simply spend a few moments enjoying the silence. Over the years since she and her friends had started going there, it had become almost their own special place, since it was very rarely used by anyone but them. But Haley had immediately seen it as more than just a place to play basketball, and there had been many a time when she had visited alone, content to sit and watch the world go by while she tried to sort through whatever it was going on in her head that had prompted her to go there.
Today was different though. Today, instead of seeking out some peace and quiet, she was desperately trying to avoid it. Because in the last forty eight hours, whenever she had found herself sitting in silence, memories of her old friend's crazed and terrified expression as he held a gun toward her filled her mind. So right now, the River Court was the last place that would be able to help her.
But she wasn't there for herself.
The last time she had seen her best friend their world had still been a perfectly carefree place. After the shooting, Lucas and Karen had been whisked straight to the hospital with Keith, and she would place a safe bet that they'd been there ever since. She had wanted to go to the hospital, but had always stopped herself at the last second, telling herself that it was better to leave them to deal with everything as a family. But in truth, she was scared; scared to face the new reality that had been brought on by that day. A reality where a man, as good and honest as Keith, was barely clinging to his life.
She knew she couldn't put it off any longer.
But as she approached the blacktop, it wasn't her best friend that she spotted perched on the old wooden bench. It was another of her friends, one who she knew was carrying around the same weight from that day that she was, if not a heavier one.
"Hey Mouth."
"Haley, hey." He moved over to make some space for her on the bench. "You looking for Lucas?"
"Yeah. I guess he's still at the hospital."
"Any news on Keith?"
"Deb called Nathan last night. Apparently he woke up yesterday but it was only for a few minutes. The doctor's said it's a good sign though. They're pretty sure he's going to be ok."
Mouth exhaled heavily in relief. "That's great. Really great." His words were genuine but he couldn't help but feel as though they didn't carry the amount of happiness that they should. Of course he was pleased that Keith was going to be ok, but he never would've been in the hospital in the first place if Mouth had just made a little more effort to stay in touch with his former best friend. A friend that was now gone forever.
"Yeah. How're you doing?" She knew it was a stupid question, but hoped it would get him talking anyway.
"Honestly, I feel like I'm stuck inside a really bad dream. I just wish I could wake up. It's my fault."
"The shooting? Mouth that's crazy. You couldn't have know that..."
"But I could've made more of an effort. He was my best friend Haley. And I just abandoned him."
"That's not true." She put a comforting arm around her old friend's shoulder. "Jimmy's problems ran a lot deeper than losing touch with his friends. Plenty of people lose contact or drift apart. There was so much more to it than that. Stuff that none of us could've possibly known about."
"I guess I just don't get how it could've gotten so bad. It's hard enough to understand why he would bring a gun to school... but for him to shoot Keith? It doesn't make any sense."
"I don't think anything about that day makes sense. I doubt it ever will. And it's gonna take us all a long time to come to terms with it. But it'll take even longer if you try to do it alone. We're all here for you, Mouth." She left him to consider her words, hoping that they'd gotten through. If there was one thing that she was sure of it was that none of them would ever forget Jimmy, or what had happened. She just hoped that if they stuck together, they'd be able to get past it enough to remember the boy they'd all known without also thinking of that day.
...
11.53am EST
Tree Hill Memorial Hospital – Room 210
"So how long do I get to keep you for this time?" Keith questioned, watching with amusement as his daughter fiddled with a small radio that one of the nurses had brought in, insisting that the reason people took so long to recover in hospital was that they were 'too damn depressing'.
"How does forever sound?" At his quizzical look, she laughed and filled him in on what he'd missed while unconscious. "I spoke to Nana this morning before I came in. I'd totally psyched myself up to tell her that I wasn't coming back and that she'd just have to accept it. But as it turned out she'd already arranged and paid for my stuff to be shipped over here. It should get here tomorrow, God I love FedEx!"
At the thought of his little girl coming home for good, Keith felt happier than he thought possible after being almost killed. The last four years without her had been torture for him. The pain he had felt when Karen had turned down his proposal, or when he had found out the truth about Jules, was nothing in comparison to what he had felt the day that she had been taken from him. It was a day that he would never forget.
As he stared across the room at the tearful thirteen year old, he felt as though his heart was being ripped from his chest. For the last hour, as he had gone in and out of her room moving her belongings to the downstairs hallway, he'd listened to her painful sobs and despised himself for not being able to offer her any comfort. Now, she was perched on the window seat in her room, staring out at the town that he knew she desperately didn't want to leave. He knew it because he felt it too, just as desperately.
"Honey? Your grandma is here. You ready?"
She didn't speak. She didn't even turn to look at him. She just continued to stare out of the window and shook her head.
He sighed heavily, willing himself not to let his own tears show. He wanted to make this as easy for her as possible, and if she was to see him cry, not even wild horses would be able to pull her away. He crossed the room and sat down beside her.
She refused to meet his eyes, focusing instead on the tatty brown teddy bear she held in her arms. He smiled at the familiar item, remembering how her little face had lit up when he'd given it to her for her sixth birthday. She'd held onto it ever since, insisting on dragging it everywhere they went. When they had dinner, the bear had its own place at the table; when he tucked her in at night she'd refuse to even consider the concept of sleep until he had also kissed teddy goodnight.
His favourite memory was not long after he had given her the toy. He and Karen had promised to take Cassie and Lucas to the movies and she had thrown the mother of all tantrums when he had refused to pay for a separate seat for Teddy. Eventually of course, he had given in and the stuffed toy had not only gotten its own seat, but its very own popcorn and soda as well. Every few minutes, when his daughter wasn't looking, he would sneak a handful of popcorn and a drink of soda, much to the amusement of Karen and Lucas. As long as he lived he would never forget the look of delight on her little face when she turned to him and squealed 'Daddy, Teddy ate all of his treats!' Looking at her at that moment, he would've given anything to get back that expression.
After what seemed like an eternity of silence, she finally looked up at him. She'd done a lot of growing up since that day, she was a teenager now. But in that moment, looking at him through sad, tearful eyes, she was his baby girl again. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, then held out the teddy, gesturing for him to take it.
"Teddy wants to stay. He said he doesn't want you to be lonely. He promised that he would look after you while I'm gone."
He almost broke down right then, covering a sob by clearing his throat and blinking away tears. He took the teddy from her and stood, holding out his hand. She hesitated for a moment, then took it and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.
Never letting go of his hand, she let him lead her down the stairs to the front porch where her Grandmother was stood beside Karen. She met the woman's eyes with barely contained disdain and immediately went to pieces. Turning back to him she threw herself into his arms, wrapping her own tightly around him and burying her head in his chest. His reaction was automatic as he folded her into his embrace protectively, casting a hateful glance at the woman responsible for separating them.
"Please Daddy." She hadn't called him Daddy since she was nine. "Please don't make me go."
"You know I don't want to baby," he soothed, stroking her soft, blonde hair in an attempt to calm her. "But the judge said you have to. It's only for a little while. I promise."
Not able to take anymore, he gestured to her grandmother, who came forward and grasped her hand, pulling her away from her father. Her sobs turned to agonising wails as she was led to the car. And as the car door slammed shut behind her, he could almost hear the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces. There, in that moment, watching the black Sedan disappear out of sight, Keith Scott fell apart.
"Erm, hello... earth to Dad! Have you left the building?"
He was brought back from his thoughts by that very same only not so little girl, waving a hand in front of his face and looking at him with through amused eyes.
"Where did you go just now?"
He toyed with the idea of lying, not wanting to remind her of a day that he wished he could forget, but he knew that she would see through it instantly. She knew him too well.
"Um, I was just thinking about the day you left."
All traces of amusement left her face and her beautiful blue eyes clouded over with an emotion that he couldn't decipher. It was a look that held sadness, anger, and regret all at the same time, and he found himself wishing he'd lied.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't do more to make them let you stay."
In all the times he'd visited her in Vegas, they'd never spoken about the day she left, choosing instead to enjoy the time they were able to spend together, given that it was only a couple of weeks at a time. But almost being killed two days before had made him aware of just how lucky he was to have another chance at really being her father, and now that she was older, he felt it was an appropriate time to bring it up.
"What? Dad I don't.."
"No," he interrupted. "I'm your father. I should have done something, fought harder to stop them taking you away from me. I let you down... and I'm sorry."
"I don't blame you," she said softly, her eyes shining with fresh tears. "I never did. I blame Teresa."
He tensed slightly at the reference to her mother, not missing the fact that she still refused to refer to the woman as Mom.
"She's the reason Grandma fought for custody of me. She's the one who made out that you were some kind of abusive alcoholic. Which is ironic really when you consider the fact that she ran off with a junkie."
"Do you remember much about her?"
Cassie shook her head. "Not really. I guess it's not surprising, I was what, two years old when she left?"
He nodded. "Almost."
"I don't really remember her face, or the sound of her voice, but I remember when I lived with Nana, every now and again I would catch a smell of this sweet perfume and for some reason it would make me feel like I knew her, like I had a memory of her."
"She's the one who missed out you know? It's her loss, not yours."
He couldn't blame her for being angry with her mother, he was too. From the moment his daughter was born, Keith was smitten. He had never thought it possible to love someone as much as he loved Cassie the first time she wrapped her tiny hand around his finger. Teresa hadn't been interested, more focused on the fact that the body that she worked so hard to keep in shape had been 'tainted' as she used to refer to it. He had to hand it to her; she'd stuck it out for a year and a half before she bolted after he'd finally lost his temper and fought for custody.
"I guess that's maybe why Nana did what she did. Whenever I would get into trouble, she would yell at me that she failed my mother and she wouldn't allow me to go down the same path. I think she just felt guilty. The way she looked at it, I'd missed out on having a Mom around. It's her fault that I had to leave, not yours. The past is what it is, there's nothing we can do about it. Besides, I'm home now. And there's no way you're getting rid of me again."
...
1.25pm
Keith's House
The original plan had been to stop by the house just quick enough to grab a couple of things; the essential items that her fiancé would need while he was in the hospital. So when she glanced at the clock and realised that an hour had passed she was shocked to say the least.
Since Keith had opened his eyes the day before, the weight she had felt deep in her chest had begun to lift. It would take him a while to recover fully, but the fact that he would recover was enough to allow her to breathe again. Still, she knew that she had never really taken the time over the last two days to allow herself to deal with what had happened. Because any time thoughts of losing her fiancé and son crept into her head, she felt the heaviness descending again, pressing down hard on her chest. It was too much to comprehend. And right now it was more important for her to be there to help Keith and Lucas deal with the tragedy. So she did what she did best; she distracted herself with menial tasks and plastered a smile on her face.
As she carried the overflowing bag down the stairs, the front door opened. She expected to see her son, or Cassie; which is why, when Dan's tall frame filled the doorway, at first she was too taken aback to be angry.
He glanced around, taking in the boxes that Karen had made a start on packing. "Wow. Uh, they did tell you that Keith is still alive right? Not time to give his things to charity just yet."
"Real funny Dan. You do remember it's your brother who almost died? Would a little sensitivity really be too much to ask?" It was a rhetorical question and she left him no time to answer. "I'm sorry, my mistake. I guess I forgot who I was talking to for a moment."
"How's my niece? I hear she's back in town." He intentionally left out the fact that he'd already seen her; curious as to whether she'd mentioned their little encounter herself.
"How do you know about that?"
He shrugged. "Tree Hill is a small town. Word gets around."
The mention of Cassie made Karen feel somewhat uneasy. Dan rarely brought something up for no reason, and she knew he still held his brother responsible for the dealership fire that almost claimed his life. She had hoped the man might suddenly grow a heart after learning that Keith had been shot. But apparently he still had an axe to grind.
"She almost lost her father. How do you think she's doing? And the last thing she needs is to have to deal with you, so do one decent thing in your life, stay away from her."
He picked up a framed photograph of Karen and Keith at a carnival with Lucas and Cassie, who were ten years old at the time it was taken. Karen remembered the day well.
"Quite the little family you guys are building. I guess it's complete now that Cassie is back. Lucky thing Keith survived really. It'd be a real shame if anything were to ruin it."
Having dealt with Dan's behaviour for the last seventeen years, Karen was usually able to take his cutting words with a pinch of salt. But something about his words and the tone of his voice as he spoke them, sent a chill racing down her spine. "I think you should leave."
He smiled and held up his hands in a sarcastic gesture of surrender before turning to leave.
"Dan," she called after him, glaring at him when he paused at the door and turned back toward her. "Stay away from my kids."
...
3.05pm EST
Tree Hill Memorial Hospital - Room 210
Lucas approached the room almost hesitantly, not completely sure as to why he was stalling but still not quite able to shake the feeling that he didn't deserve to be there. He hadn't been to the hospital since Keith had woken up, despite the fact that it had killed him to stay away. But seeing the man who had been the only real father figure he'd ever known, lying there so weak, so disoriented... it had only served as a reminder of the pain he had caused.
It wasn't as if he had pulled the trigger himself, but he couldn't help but feel like he may as well have. If he hadn't gone back into the school two days before, none of this would be happening. And if he felt that way, then maybe there was a small part of Keith that felt it too.
He paused at the door, looking on as the man that he loved and admired most in the world, chatted happily with his cousin... or should he say his sister? Cassie herself had referred to him as her brother only the night before. But could Keith still honestly want him as his son after he had not only almost cost him his life, but then had been too gutless to even confront him about it when he first woke up.
Keith chose that moment to look up and catch his eye. But there was no anger in his expression. His eyes held not a trace of blame. He actually looked happy to see him. Cassie turned her head then, following Keith's gaze.
"Hey bro. We were wondering where you got to."
Lucas forced an awkward smile and entered the room, hovering close to the doorway as though he might bolt back through it at any moment. Apparently Cassie and Keith had both picked up on his mood as they shared a look, then Cassie stood.
"Uh, I've got some calls I need to make to Vegas so I guess I'll head home for a while. See you in a couple of hours. Love you." She leaned over to drop a kiss on her father's cheek, and then headed for the door, glancing at Lucas with a teasing glint in her eye. "Ok yeah I guess I love you too."
He couldn't help but grin at her mocking tone and playful jab to the shoulder as she passed, and finally he felt himself begin to relax.
Keith watched his soon to be son fidget nervously, as though there was a tension between them, and he had to admit it hurt a little to think that Lucas would truly believe he would blame him for what had happened. But what hurt him more was that Lucas was clearly blaming himself.
"Would you quit fidgeting and come sit down?" he joked, hoping it would break the tension. "I was beginning to think you were never gonna come see me."
"Yeah I um, I guess I just..."
Keith quickly cut him off. "Luke this was not your fault. Hey, look at me..."
The younger boy faltered for a second, then finally met his eyes.
"It was not your fault, understand? I don't want you carrying this guilt around with you, and I definitely don't want it to change anything between you and me. I don't blame you. Your mom and Cassie don't blame you. In fact the only person around here, who is blaming you, is you."
"But if I hadn't gone back into that school then..."
"Then your brother would have been in there alone, and Peyton probably wouldn't be alive right now. Answer me this, you ran into that school to stop Nathan right?" When Lucas nodded, he finished the sentence that he knew would win him the argument. "So if Jimmy had shot you, and you were lying in this bed right now, would you blame Nathan?"
"I guess not."
"Luke, we're all gonna carry that day around with us for a long time, but you can't let it eat you up. If you're gonna let it change you, make it for the better, not worse. Learn from it. Life is short, so live it the best you can, while you can." He was pleased to see that his words appeared to be getting through, and decided to broach the subject that he knew would be the toughest. "One more thing, I want you to let go of this anger you're carrying toward Jimmy."
Lucas' expression darkened visibly, but Keith could sense that there was also an underlying guilt there too. It was typical Lucas. Feeling like he could have done something...should have done something more. It was like he took the responsibility for protecting everyone he loved on his own shoulders.
"Cassie told me you're refusing to go to the funeral on Tuesday. I think you should go. Jimmy wasn't thinking straight Luke. He was desperate. I don't remember much about being in that hallway, but I know Jimmy wouldn't have intentionally hurt me or anyone else if he had been thinking straight. And deep down I think you know that too."
At that particular moment, Lucas would have jumped through a flaming hoop if Keith had asked him to. He was just happy to be sitting at his bedside instead of his grave. Seeing him lying in that bed, wounded and in pain, yet still putting himself second, made Lucas realise more than ever before that Keith was his father, in every sense of the word that mattered.
"So I take it this whole father-son lecture means you're still serious about going ahead with the adoption, huh?"
Keith laughed. "Of course. I meant what I said Luke. I want you to be my son."
"Ok, cause I was thinking... I mean if it's not too weird or anything... that maybe I could call you Dad." Once again he was avoiding his new father's eye, strangely nervous despite knowing that Keith still wanted to go ahead with the adoption.
It was quite odd really, considering that only hours ago he had been barely clinging onto life, but Keith suddenly felt as though his life couldn't be more perfect. He and Karen were finally headed in the right direction, he had his daughter back and Lucas had agreed to officially be his son. Hearing him actually use the word Dad had been all Keith had ever wanted.
"I would love that. As long as you're comfortable with it."
"I am. You've always been my dad. You've always been there for me and you're the reason that I'm who I am today. If there's one thing that I've learned from this whole screwed up situation it's that I don't tell you that enough. But that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you, and that I don't love you. Cause I do."
Keith had to admit he was taken aback. There was such a pure honesty in his son's eyes that he had to fight to stop his own from filling with tears. "I know that you do. But it means a lot to hear it."
...
4.10pm
Karen's House
She flopped down onto the sofa carelessly as she held the phone to her ear. It would be just after 1pm in Vegas. Normally she wouldn't call at this hour, but she had been given strict instructions to call as soon as she got a chance, no matter the time. She smiled when a familiar male voice answered with a groggy 'hello'.
"Hi, this is Judy from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. I'm trying to reach Sara Sidle."
"Nice try, kiddo."
She laughed, already knowing he would never fall for it. "You know, one of these days it will actually be the lab calling when you pick up the wrong phone. You guys really need to work out a system. At least set different ringtones. Unless of course you want them to find out that you're dating your employee."
"Do I take it from the fact that you're still a wise ass that everything over there is ok?"
"Everything is fine Uncle Gil. My dad's awake, he's gonna be ok." Saying the words had somehow made it feel all the more real and she suddenly found herself getting emotional.
"That's great Cass. Have you been able to see him? Actually, let me rephrase that, have they been able to drag you away from him long enough to sleep?"
"Sleep is for the weak."
It was his turn to laugh. "You've been spending too much time with Sara. You wanna talk to her? She just got back."
Cassie liked to think of her Uncle and his girlfriend as her Las Vegas parents. Had it not been for their influence, her time in Vegas would have been a lot different, and not in a positive way. Then again, were it not for her influence, her Uncle might never have gotten together with Sara in the first place, so she figured she had more than paid him back. She'd gotten herself into more than her fair share of trouble in her first couple of years living with her Grandmother. It had been her way of rebelling against the woman for taking her away from her father. It was only when her Uncle Gil intervened and started taking her to spend time at the Crime Lab that she began to snap out of it.
"Sure, put her on. Talk to you later, Uncle Gil. I miss you."
"You too kiddo."
There was a brief pause as the phone changed hands at the other end and then Sara's voice floated down the line.
"Hey Cass, how is everything?"
"Well my dad woke up. The doctors said he's going to be fine. It's just hard to believe that Jimmy did this, you know? And that he's gone." She had always found it easy to talk to Sara. They were very similar in nature, both defensive and sarcastic with tough exteriors.
"I know. It's gonna take some time but things will get better. And you know we're always on the other end of the phone. Any time. It's not like I ever sleep anyway."
She chuckled. That was definitely true. She never thought she'd meet a worse insomniac than her, until she met Sara. "I know. And I really appreciate everything you guys have done for me. Thanks. I'll call again soon. Tell everyone at the lab I said hi."
"Will do. And hey, no slacking on the forensics journals now that you're home. You're a born CSI but college is tough. It's better to get a head start."
She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. It was certainly true that she had a natural talent when it came to forensics, and she loved it. Forensics was all about sticking to the evidence and being objective. There was little room for emotion or bias. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the mess that she had come home to.
A knock at the door interrupted her train of thought, which she reasoned wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Right now it was important to focus on the positive details. She was home for good and her father was going to make a full recovery. The rest she'd deal with later.
But as she swung open the door, it became abundantly clear that 'dealing with it later' was not going to be possible. Standing before her, wearing an expression that could only be described as a combination of trepidation, shame and heartbreaking agony, was the one person who she knew had been hurt more by the unthinkable tragedy than any of them. Sadness washed over her when she realised that the look he wore was born solely from fear of how she would react to his presence.
Without another second's hesitation, she stepped forward and threw her arms around him. "It's good to see you Mouth."
Her words seemed to ease some of the tension he was feeling and he relaxed, returning her embrace. After a moment she stepped back, ushering him inside and closing the door.
"So how are you?" He asked tentatively, the tension seeming to return threefold.
"Yeah I'm ok. It's been a rough couple of days but it's good to be home." She paused as she took a seat on the sofa, knowing that wasn't what he had really come to ask. "My Dad is going to be fine, Mouth."
He let out a relieved sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor, smiling sadly. "That's great Cass. Really great."
"Yeah it is. So you can quit feeling guilty for feeling sad about Jimmy." She smiled when he looked up, clearly shocked that she'd picked up on his thoughts so quickly. "I miss him too, you know. I'm not mad at him, or you. And neither is my dad, so there's no reason to torture yourself. This wasn't your fault."
"Yeah that's what Haley said too."
"She's right. No-one blames you for this Mouth. Jimmy wouldn't want you blaming yourself. And no-one expects you not to miss him."
"Even Lucas?" As though finally accepting that she wasn't mad at him, he allowed himself to relax and sat beside her on the sofa.
"Lucas will come around eventually. He may not show it but he's blaming himself just like you are. My dad was planning to talk to him about it this afternoon. And we'll both be at the funeral on Tuesday." Sensing that a change of subject was needed, she opted to try and lighten the mood slightly. "So hey I've been gone for a long time, what's say I make us some tea and you fill me in on the last four years huh?" Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand and hauled him up off the couch, pushing him playfully toward the kitchen.
...
5.30pm
Tree Hill Memorial Hospital – Room 210
When she reached the hospital doorway, Karen paused, her eyes falling on the figure of her sleeping fiancé. Her gaze moved away from his face, almost mesmerised by the steady rise and fall of his chest as he took each breath. It was a basic human function that they all took for granted on a daily basis; but today was different. Today Karen found herself thanking whatever God may be for each and every breath of air that filled Keith's lungs. And looking at him now, so calm and peaceful, she felt the mask that she had worked for the last 24 hours to perfect, finally begin to slip.
Before her emotions could get the better of her, she shook herself out of her reverie and entered the room, careful not to make a sound as she closed the door behind her. She approached the bed and, unable to resist, leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his lips. What she hadn't counted on was him responding. Without opening his eyes, he reached up and cupped her cheek, pulling her closer. His reaction was her final undoing. All of the emotion, all of the heartache, sadness and gut-wrenching terror that had been locked inside came pouring out in a flood of tears that she feared may never stop.
After a moment she pulled away, resting her forehead against his as he finally opened his eyes.
"Excuse me, I have a fiancée" he joked.
She laughed, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood, but too emotional to form a witty retort. "Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."
"Oh, I'm not complaining. In fact I think you should wake me just like that every day from now on." With their faces only inches apart, Keith was able to see the unbearable agony that hid behind those dark browns orbs that he loved so much, and the pain of knowing how much his family had suffered in the last 24 hours was a thousand times worse than the gunshot wound in his shoulder. "It's going to be ok Karen. I'm not going anywhere."
Reluctantly, she nodded and sat up, her tears finally beginning to subside. Not wanting to completely lose contact with him just yet, she locked their hands together tightly.
"Has the doctor been in today?"
He nodded. "He said the wound is healing well. The surgery was a success, they removed the bullet and from what they can see there's no lasting nerve damage. With some gentle rehab exercises it should be good as new in a few weeks. How was your day?"
For a split second she considered telling him about her strange encounter with Dan a few hours before. Ordinarily she wouldn't have dreamt of keeping something like that from him, especially when it concerned his daughter. It had struck Karen as odd that Dan would ask about Cassie at all, but his parting words were what had unsettled her the most. 'It'd be a real shame if anything were to ruin it', he had said, referring to their now complete family. But he'd said it specifically in relation to Cassie.
Of course, he had probably said it hoping that she would tell Keith. Dan knew his brother would worry if he thought for a second that he'd been anywhere near his daughter. And with him stuck in hospital, unable to do anything about it, it was the perfect opportunity to drive him crazy. If she told him, Dan would win. And right now she knew that Cassie wouldn't want her father worrying about her when he needed to focus on his recovery.
"It was fine. I stopped by your place and picked up some stuff." She gestured to the bag she had set down on the bedside chair. "I took a few things over to my place too for when you get out of here."
"Did you manage to get much sleep?"
"A little." She really wasn't sure why she bothered lying to him; she knew he'd see through it in a second.
"That means none."
"You know it's funny, for 17 years I slept in that bed alone but now, even though you've only been back a little over a month, I can't sleep without you."
"Then sleep here." He shifted carefully on the bed, making room for her at his uninjured side.
"It's fine really..."
He cut her off immediately. "Karen honey, you're exhausted, you need to sleep. I promise you're not going to hurt me. If anything it'll make me feel better to have you here."
She would have protested further, but the mention of sleep had reminded her of just how tired she really was. And there was nowhere she'd rather be at that moment than in her fiancé's arms. Giving in, she kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, feeling every ounce of tension from the last two days drain from her body the second she felt his arm wrap around her.
"Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
He smiled at her words, his own eyelids growing heavier as the effects of the painkillers began to take their toll once more. "I love you too."
After a few moments, he heard her breathing even out as exhaustion finally won the battle and once he was sure she was asleep he closed his eyes and allowed himself to follow.