A/N: Oh my god, I had the fucking most awesome day. I totally told this bitch off, Did a cool test that I only got ONE MOTHER FUCKING ANSWER WRONG….and I talked to mah long lost super bestest friend! I'm like, so what do I need to complete this day? Update mah fuckin' stories! So anyway, I'm babbling. Fuck babbling! On with the what the flying fuck note conspiracy! This is Cartman's P.O.V, R&R!

Oh my god, fuck!

Who the hell are you hippies? Coming to steal Clyde Frog? I WON'T HAVE IT!

….What? Your just a bunch of spectators? Fuck it….this is South Park. I'm pretty pissed off right now, My Jew received this damn note I wrote…Huh? Did I address him as my Jew? Well yes! I'm the only one who calls him Jew ANYWAY. So he must belong to me damnit!

…..It's all Kenny's fault anyway….

What do you mean what do I mean? I mean it all started out as some sort of joke….Kenny had said something about how he 'knew' so I'm thinking…wha? I thought it was just one of his gay sex things but for Jesus' sake I was freaking wrong. You want me to explain it? Fine, if you do will you leave me alone? God…So I'll bring you back to the gayest time of my life…

-----------Magical time skip of doooooom! 2 days ago----------------

-------BRIIINGGGG-----

-THWACK!---

Damn bell. Someone needed to teach it a lesson, disturbing me when I'm doing mah damn dirty work. So hell yeah I did just throw a book at it. You never saw me do it. All you can say was I READ he did. After that annoyance had been dealt with, I walked over to English B. How ironic that I was gonna write something terrible in a poetry class….

Naturally I sat at the back with Kenny, the faggot liked being around me lately. And that's when my life changed forever…

-WAIT WAIT -record scratches- I'm sorry I tried that line but it's just to retarded, can I try again?

We start again…..Naturally I sat at the back with Kenny, the faggot liked being around me lately. And that's when all fucking hell broke loose.

I didn't realize it at first, but Kenny was paying close attention to me…and…Kyle had some beautiful green eyes….

I almost did a double take at that despicable thought. The JEW being cute? Their was nothing cute about him!….Besides the way he blushes anytime he gets a compliment…or the way he crosses his eyes when confused…and his fucking red hair…GAY THOUGHTS! GAY THOUGHTS! MAKE IT STOP!

"Dude…why the fuck are you staring at Kyle like that?" I turned around wide-eyed. Kenny was smirking in my direction, his chin propped on his hand.

"I was imagining ways I could torture him, Hitler style. What do you think you poor piece of crap?" I spat, blushing at how moronic the answer was.

"No no, that wasn't the 'I'm gonna destroy you, Jew!' look. No sir, there was something sexual in that stare. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were undressing him with your eyes…"

"Kenny, have you been hanging out with the stoners again?"

"You didn't deny it, you gay little dick!" Kenny exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh shut UP Kenny" I groaned. I'm not gay, I will never be gay, and I certainly never was gay. No matter how incredibly sexy the jew is, or deliciously cute.

Did I just THINK that? Nu uh! This writer is screwing with me!

"Cartman, don't you know that you can trust me? I'm your best friend!" Kenny said, pouting.

Then we both burst into laughter. The crap this blonde says, it kills me.

"Damn it Kenny, I am not gay" I said, fuming. He grinned, enjoying my mental anguish.

"Prove it then. Write down all your feelings for Kyle on this note, I know you like him, so there's no freaking use in lying to me, or it." He handed me this piece of paper and a pen. I sneered, thinking he was just messing around. But he looked at me with his serious blue eyes and I realized he was serious. Damn it. I frowned, quirked my eyebrow, frowned, then took the damn pen. I scribbled onto it, in shock, my real feelings toward this jew. I tried to erase it from my mind as Kenny read it, his eyebrows rising up.

"My god, fatass" He looked at me with a puzzled expression

"I really was fuckign around, but I guess it's true! You DO realize what we have to do now right?" He looked at me.

"We don't have to do anything, but forget this ever happened. Alright?" I glared at him. He nodded.

I was stupid not to take the god-forsaking note from him. So then the bell rang, he rushed off somewhere and I slipped off in the corner, thinking about what I had written. Had I really ment it? Did I just write it so that Kenny could shut the fuck up and leave me alone? Something tells me that I really DO love Kyle, and my pride is just a bitch.

Do I really?….

NO. I hate him. And I always will.

But…wouldn't this explain why I hung out with him all these years when I had a blood oath against Jews?

Gah. This stuff was to complicated for my brain. And I can't think without cheesy poofs.

----Magical time skip of dooooom. Present day, 2 days after------------

So It's a few days after I've considered this weird love the jew business. And I got a reading from my friend Cleo. She says I knew damn well I loved him, I just won't admit it. So I guess it is true. I DO love the Jew.

I love Kyle…I am IN love with Kyle…

Hmm, not so bad. I kinda like it actually.

I love him…I approve! I smiled as I walked towards Stan, Kenny and Kyle. When suddenly…

"So what if she's blonde? Your blonde to Kenny!" Stan said Laughing

"You jut proved my point even more Marsh!"

"He has a point, you fucking hippie" I retorted. "What are you fags babbling about now?"

"Some whore is in love with Kyle we're trying to figure out who she is" Kenny said. "Or if it's a guy-"

"SICK DUDE!" Kyle exclaimed, looking somewhat horrified. Ouch, well that doesn't make me the least bit afraid to tell him anything.

"What makes you think he or she loves the Jew?" I asked

"This retarded note"

Note? Wait a minute here! I grabbed the note and scanned it down. Oh my fucking god. It's MY NOTE! I blushed a crimson red, not knowing exactly if Kyle knew it was me, but judging by the look on his face he had NO clue. But for Kenny, this will be the damn END of him!

"Cartman?" Kyle looked at me somewhat puzzled.

…..Damn….I can't BREATHE with him looking at me like that!

I suddenly felt this punch on my arm, as the hippie said "Hey fat-ass, wake up!"

"What?" Kyle looked freaked out.

I knew I had to make some sort of excuse to get out of there. Or else all the questions in the world would start flying out of no where like a Jeopardy marathon on ABC. So I decided to lie about math class…

-----BRINGGGG---

Didn't I demolish that bell half an hour ago? Oh well, the bell ghost must be on the move. But no time to worry about that now!

"Oh my god is that the bell? I better get to math class early" I dashed off without hearing anything from the three. But I got a good look at their faces. They were all wondering the same thing

Only difference was that Kenny knew damn well what was going on.

A/N: Yeah, Emerald my dear. I mention Cleo again. Ain't I a bitch? XD

This chappy was suppose to be longer. But it's bed time, and I have a test to study for! ..o.o…

And I don't need any barking from my grandmother, thank you!

Expect an update either tomorrow or Friday, okay? Okay. Peace out my darlings! But oh! Question! Who says my writing improved? Oh oh and who says I kept them in character? Show of hands anyone? And if you haven't yet, I would LURVE it if you joined my little contest, pweases? -puppy face-

Anyway, my Grammy's barking… - -'' so buh bye!