A/N: GUESS WHO'S THIRTEEN, MOTHER FUCKERS? Yeah. Me. Well I've been thirteen since like June, but I just wanted to let you know. Yeah, I said I would update every Friday. My lazy ass didn't wanna type Dx. I really might just quit this story. Seriously. But I'm determined to get at least three or four more chapters in before I quit. Maybe even five. I'M FREAKING SORRY OKAY? I FORGOT. This chapter is a special treat for xEmerald Isle. I know this whole STORY is for her, but this chapter will just RUIN her xD. Not ruin bad, but I might disable her mind.

- FaceBook Chat-

-List of People Online-

-Kyle Broflovski-

-Stan Marsh-

-Kenny McCormick-

-Cleo Matthews-

-Meredith Acqua-

-Bebe Stevens-

-Wendy Imnotabitch Testaburger-

So apparently only a bunch of assholes were online. Screw it, I'll talk to… uh… Cleo. I'll talk to that god forsaking blonde. I wouldn't go as far as to call her my best friend, because she wasn't. But, Cleo and I had this weird bond since the 3rd grade, And, she could always tell when I'm fucked up. I clicked on her name…

Eric Cartman: Sup, bitch?

Cleo Matthews: Hi, fat ass! Wassup? X3

Eric Cartman: AYE! Just for that, I won't tell you what I wanted to tell you, ho.

Cleo Matthews: Sureeeee. What did you want to tell me?

Eric Cartman: I don't know if I should tell you over pixel lingo, Cleo.

Cleo Matthews: Is it that important? Really?

Eric Cartman: Mhm. Now getchoo ass over n'aw and make meh a sammich

Cleo Matthews: … Fine. Mustard?

Eric Cartman: You know it, bitch! And wear your mini black skirt my mom gave you for your birthday. And the matching top. And heels.

Cleo Matthews: Wtf? Why?

Eric Cartman: Because I told you to, god damn!

Cleo Matthews: Oh whatever =w=

Cleo Matthews is Offline

_Cleo's P.O.V_

Hmm. I switched off my computer in a matter of seconds. What is it that he has to tell me so much a simple facebook chat wouldn't do it? I mean, honestly. I've known the boy for more than I want to admit right now, but.. my hopes.. They shouldn't be this high. Yes, I have heard of the Kyle note business. I am still unsure as of if it was a joke, or if he was serious. FINE! YES! I DO have a crush on Cartman, alright? Now wipe that grin off your face! I went upstairs, and, for one reason or another, decided to wear the outfit he had requested. Heh, my mother would be furious. Perhaps even more furious than she was the day I had received it. She had said to me, "Burn it!'' but I refused. Eric's mother, probably the most important woman to him in his life, had given it to me. I would never burn it. Not ever. I slipped it on, grabbed the black and white horizontally stripped t-shirt, purple sleeve-less open-jacket, and my awesome purple heels and threw those on too. Eric's mom knows I like purple, Now, as to how to avoid my mother seeing me..

I know. I'll sneak out the back door. I dashed downstairs and into the kitchen. Mama wasn't there, ah, she was in the lounge, watching All My children. Good. I escaped outside and over the fence, and ran down the street.

"So what do you have to tell me, Cartman?" I asked him. We were sitting on his couch, was rubbing himself on my leg. Cartman, of course, eating cheesy poofs and me an apple. Honestly, Cartman had lost weight ever since last year when I urged him to loose at least 60 lbs or the world would explode. He, at first, thought that the explosion of the world would have been funny. But then I said it would kill him too. He stopped laughing. Sure, he isn't as tiny as Kyle, but he's about 6 inches bigger than they are.

He crunched his cheesy poofs

He glanced at me.

He sighed.

This is a pattern he's been doing lately.

And I'm starting to dislike it.

"Cartman..?"

"The sandwitch you made me tasted good, Cleo. Thank you"

D..did he just THANK me?

"And when I said you should wear the black skirt outfit, I wasn't serious. But.. You look pretty in it."

At that I blushed. I knew Cartman liked the skirt because it showed a great deal of my legs, but the compliment of me looking pretty? No. No I had not known that was coming. Whatever it was he had to tell me, it took a great toll on his behavior.

I , Cleo Matthews, am officially worried.

"Look, you know the note thing? Between Kyle and me?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Well…here's the thing..I need someone to talk to. And I was hoping I could talk to you. But you HAVE to promise me not to say ANYTHING to ANYONE. And if you do, I'll deny it it, kill your parents, make you eat them and never talk to you again"

"Oh..well, okay." I murmured. I do wish he would cut the crap, but I'll be patience.

"Look, okay, I…I like Kyle, alright? I'm actually in love with the faggot, but I'm scarred to tell him. And cause you're a girl and all, I was wondering if you could help me with that?" He said.

….How exactly should I take this? I liked Cartman a lot, but I wanted him to be happy. Apparently, this is not my story.

It's his and Kyle's.

There is no room for me or my selfishness, so I WILL do everything I need to do to help him out.

He is my friend, and all.

"First of all; I'm happy you realize you like him. Everyone else does" I smiled.

He frowned

"What do you mean EVERYONE?"

"Everyone as in everyone who knows you wrote the note. 'Tis not many." I stated. He moaned

"Fuck my life"

"Fuck mine first"

"Is that a sex joke?"

"NO!"

"I've never been so frustrated in my life. I feel like a woman" he grimaced and flopped on the couch. I glared at him. Really, comparing his male pms to one of a girls feelings is just retarded. Really.

"Well, you know what you have to do now, right?" I asked him. He opened one eye.

"The hell? What do I have to do?"

"You have to tell Kyle. Duh." I face palmed.

"WHAT? WHY?" Cartman bellowed.

"Well, it's like the middle of the story and this is the fifth chapter. These things are usually ten chapters and then there are crap dances or some shit and then someone gets hurt and then someone has to comfort some kid and they fall in love or something" I shrugged, He;s been in several of these before, he should know the routine.

Oh, wait, fuck. He;s not supposed to.

"What the hell kinda dope you've been smoking, ho?"

This is going to be complicated.

A/N: Crap ass chapter. I know, sue me. I really just might quit this story =w= I wanna start something new; something fresh. With OCs popping outta no where :D But i'll try to finish this crap first :DDDD. Anyways, i'm awesome. Or i feel that way ^^ But you know, peace people. Review!