Christmas Eve 2004.
So today is Christmas Eve, I woke up to see snow and hearing kids running by in the street, I had to smile for a few moments until it hit me that I'd never be able to hear my own children's laughter in the snow or take them on their first day of school, or give $5 when they lost their teeth. I'd be alone for Christmas for the rest of my time, no children of my own or no husband, hearing those bright laughs from the kids outside put my life into perspective. But all of that changed when I got a call, it was Andy, he'd broken me from my reverie and it was to ask me would I like to spend the evening with them as he knew Christmas Eve and the morning of Christmas wouldn't be too jolly over at Harry's or mothers…so I gratefully accepted his kind offer.
And so I got to the Brown's house just before the time Andy had given me to arrive, I had been out shopping all day and bought them gifts, I didn't like to turn up empty handed so I brought along a little dessert too and some wine. It had been Delia who'd first answered the door and slammed it in my face until Ephraim came along and apologised for his sister's behaviour and allowed me inside their home, all the time, Delia sat on the stairs and glared at me until her father called her to set the table. Watching Andy with his kids made me think of dad with Harry and I while mom was away in Vietnam. Andy's a brilliant dad, no matter what anybody around here says about him.
And so the presents were exchanged between the Brown's and I. I let Andy give his gifts first, to his kids and then let them give theirs to him before he turned to me and smiled, I held up my gifts for them as I smiled back to him, and gave Delia hers first, then Ephram's and finally Andy his. I watched them open their things and the smiles all round, I had finally gotten something right that Delia happened to like. Andy looked back to me again and he gave me a small box. I'd opened it and found a number of things inside; a jewellery set, a small key and a little note. I went to lift the note but Andy stopped me, I looked to him and he had a sort of smirk across his face.
After Delia had went to bed and Ephram had gone to visit Madison, Andy and I had lay on the sofa just talking a little, listening to the carols on the radio with our candles and mulled wine. It was only then, he'd asked me to open the note as he stood up and left me on the sofa, while he took off to his room to which I learned he locked. The key he'd given me was for his bedroom. And the note had just simply said; Join me. which I did, with the key once I learned that it was for his lock.
I entered his room and saw him laying on the bed, looking to me, smiling coyly, I was puzzled I had to admit. Though, we'd spoken about this, and we'd established he wasn't afraid of the HIV and I wasn't afraid of anything bad happening, we'd done it before but his expression was just...melting me, making me go weak at the knees. I neared the bed and he told me to lock the door, so I did and then turned back to him, he still had that look. That look was daring me to inch closer to him, and I did, smiling back at him before I got onto the bed with him. As soon as I was there, he kissed me, pulling me close to him…
Christmas Morning 2004.
I woke up in Andy's arms to the sound of his door being rattled and Delia outside calling for him. I smiled and looked to the ceiling for a moment as I felt the tenseness in my muscles throughout my body before I looked to Andy, still sleeping. I kissed him and he woke, so I told him that it should have been the other way round. Him kissing me and being like a Sleeping Beauty. He did call me a beauty though and I'd blushed as he was pulling on his joggers and sweater to open the door as I cleared away the foil wrappers from last night, still blushing as Delia rushed in and jumped up for Andy to lift her and take her downstairs. I smiled to her and pulled on my robe over my pyjama's before following them down.
January 2nd 2005.
Sorry I didn't write sooner, everything's been so hectic lately. I was a little ill, but other than that, Andy and I have been having the best time we could possibly have. He's been looking after me and his children, I never wanted him to have to have this responsibility because I don't like to push it into someone's hands, it's not right but Andy doesn't seem to mind about it. He tells me everyday that he doesn't care and that he loves me. He makes me weak at the knees. I notice my entries here are getting shorter, well that's because I'm spending more and more time with Andy and the kids, that and that Andy always interrupts me while I'm writing here so I usually have to stop what I'm doing. And now, he's just came in so I'm going to finish there, I will write soon.