Tommy's POV
It all happened so fast, but I could comprehend the fact that he slapped me. Why? Oh, shit that was the world's stupidest question. Earth to Mr. Ratliff. You're a fucking screw shit (what the hell is a screw shit? I don't know, something I made up…Don't judge me, I'm in a difficult place right now…). After everything you've done to him, he's being kind by just merely slapping you. He probably wants to kill you, but he's far too nice to do that. But still. Having him slap me was a hard indication at how royally screwed up I had actually been.
But shit. I've been trying so hard to win his heart back, but I'm not capable of going to levels at which I'm lower than my partner. Sure, it's been as hard as hell trying to get through to him, but I didn't give up. I would never give up. He was far too important to me.
And much to my dismay, involuntary tears made their way to the corners of my eyes. Crying was really starting to piss me off. Adam seemed to be fighting with himself about whether or not he was satisfied with what he had just done. He even tried to apologize, but his phone rang and he quickly pushed past me, running away and I knew he was crying. Fuck me, bitch. I'm such a loser. Hell, if I was in Adam's position, I wouldn't forgive me worth crap. I've just done so many awful things to him. It's embarrassing.
My hand fell from my cheek and I slumped back to the hotel, looking at the ground as it were fucking Satan showing his ass to me. I just felt like complete shit. I still couldn't grasp the reason as to why I did all that I had done. Was it because I was afraid of my sexual orientation? Or was it because I knew that I wanted to stay committed to Adam, but commitment scared me? Either way, it's no excuse for how I've been. When I finally made it up to my room, everyone, except Adam, was in the living room. And I seemed to be a buzz kill because they all stopped laughing and looked at me with intense eyes.
"Tommy, what's wrong? Adam seemed kind of in a rush to leave breakfast and you soon followed him. Is everything alright with you guys?" Lisa, I love you to death, but you should seriously mind your own business. Sometimes her maternal traits got a bit annoying when she constantly needed to know if you were alright or not.
"Yea. Whatever, he's fine. Not dead…" I mumbled. How was I suppose to answer that? It's not like I can say he's alright! That'd be so hypocritical of me. I was heading towards my room, but Monte stood up, eyeing me wearily.
"Man, you know something that we don't. Spill it," he ordered.
"Listen, guys. Nothing is wrong, I promise. Stop butting into our business." I didn't want to be harsh, because honestly, I don't think I can handle more people hating me. Adam's hatred was as if ten thousand glam singers already wanted me dead. It hurt, to be honest. And it hurt so bad, not only because of our potential relationship, but because we use to be such good friends, best friends perhaps, and I messed it all up.
"Sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell us…" he slightly hissed, crossing his arms and looking pissed off. He was such a girl. It was like he needed gossip to survive.
I didn't feel like talking to them anymore or retaliating to Monte's comment, so I secluded myself in my room and looked up at the ceiling, willing myself not to cry as I lay on the bed.
I had to do something. I couldn't imagine myself just sitting here crying and not at least attempting to get Adam's heart back. But he didn't want me back as much as I wanted him. He was my everything, but I have no idea how I could actually show that to him. I need to think of a place, action, and time to do something simply magical. Something that would blow his mind away. Something that he's been wanting and I could somehow grant him his wish. But how do I find out information like this? It's not like I can go up to him and ask.
So with a sigh, I logged into twitter and as usual, fans were smothering me with meaningless junk. Of course I love them to death, but sometimes it becomes overwhelming. It's true, that I wish I could go back to normal. To being a nobody. But if I was still a nobody, Adam wouldn't even know I exist. Which is a good and bad thing at this point. I sighed lightly and went into Adam's page to see if he updated, but he hasn't in a couple days. No surprise there. If I had my best friend bash me with everything I've done, the last thing I would want to do was update my twitter. However, there might be something of use here…I scrolled down and something in particular caught my eye. Well, now. What do we have here?
Oh how being kissed in the rain turns me on. :) Wish someday it would happen… TommyJoeRatliff Miss you Glitterbaby! ;)
I couldn't help but chuckle a bit. If my immense gayness had taken over I might have began to tear up a bit, but then again, I'm still partially straight, and do have some manliness left within me. He must have sent this when I was still in LA and he went to New York for some Glam Nation stuff. I remembered I had replied with something, and said Babyboy. Oh, how those fan fictions nerds [like me] love using Glitterbaby and Babyboy in their fantasies and what not. But I'm not one to judge. Express yourself anyway you want. However, that wasn't the part that caught my eye…
Interesting; with this simple tweet (or 'twat', whatever floats your boat), an idea started forming in my head on how I would make this master plan work and make Adam like me (and hopefully love) me again. This was going to work. It had to work. And if it didn't, I either wasn't doing something right, Adam was way too stubborn, or I messed up to a point of no redemption. And hopefully, none of this would happen. And if it were possible, this would all work out smoothly. But are we going anywhere where it rains? Oh, shit I don't know. Does it rain in Costa Mesa? Probably not with my fucking luck. I couldn't rush things. I would make the glam singer love me over time. Well, not really because he doesn't even want to face me. I would wait until it rains, somehow get Adam outside and just kiss him in a sweet and passionate kiss. That way he would know I cared.
Another particular tweet by Adam caught my attention and I sighed lightly at it. I was going to do it, but it would knock me down a couple levels in dignity. But if it would help me get my Babyboy back, I would do it. I actually couldn't believe I was considering doing this though. How could Adam even like this particular object if he was gay? You're probably wondering what I'm talking about, but, unfortunately, you'll have to wait and see. Yea, I'm such a bitch.
I didn't even bother taking a shower that night. I just put my phone away and lay back on my bed. Not really going to sleep, but just closing my eyes and allowing my mind to wander to depths of confusion, suspension, and mystery. And a small dream graced my thoughts. It was a rather pleasant dream about Adam and I. And how we loved each other, to no end.
Adam took in a deep breath and walked down the stairs, barefoot as usual (with his perfectly glittered, pedicured, and sparkling toenails) and began singing,
"There he goes, My baby walks so slow, Sexual tic-tac-toe, Yeah I know we both know, It isn't time, no, But could you be m-mine?"
I gulped lightly and decided to be adventurous. He was turned to the side, standing on the stairs and looking at the audience with their sudden outbursts of excited. So, I took one hand off my bass and wrapped it around his waist and leaned my head onto his back, smiling a bit. It's not like he could push me away. The fans sucked this sort of crap in. It was like their air.
I could feel him tense a bit, but then he quickly turned around and put his hand up to my face and began backing away. "We'll never get too far, Just you, me and the bar, Silly ménage a trois, sometimes, Would you be m-mine?, Would you be m-mine?, Would you be m-mine?" His voice was like metaphoric honey that dripped from his sparkling lips. It was intoxicating. I kept staring at him, and he lifted up his hand and curled his index finger towards him, indicating that he wanted me to come closer. Eagerly, I took this bait and practically pranced to him. The crowds' screamed filled the air.
When I reached him, Adam suddenly turned his back and rubbed it against mine. As I played my bass, I sensually polished his clothes with my sweaty skin. He didn't seem tense, and I took it that his intimacy towards me was his way of saying he forgave me? Oh, shit…I hope so and hopefully I wasn't getting too far ahead of myself. "Oh baby, light's on, But you're mom's not home, I'm sick of laying down alone, hey, With this fever, fever, yeah, My one and own, I wanna get you alone, Give you fever, fever, yeah…"
I could feel his ass buck into me and I grinned, almost falling over, but holding tightly onto my instrument. His eyes caught mine and his hand wrapped around my chin and he leaned down at me, putting the microphone in between our lips. "There it goes, You stole my so and so, 'Cause, sweetheart, No-no-nobody a-kno-kno-knows me, Or can find, Time to be m-mine, mine…"
He suddenly pulled the mic away and replaced it with his tongue. He licked my red lips and I opened my mouth, waiting for him to just mouth rape me! Anything; I was fucking deprived. But the raping didn't come. Instead of kissing me like normal, he just grabbed my cock through my pants and practically glared at me while squeezing my junk through my tight skinny jeans. I bit on my bottom lip and kept playing and the crowd was squealing with too overexcited fan girls. Seriously? What's the appeal of seeing two grown men kissing and fondling each other? Okay, that was a stupid question. If two grown women make out that defiantly got me hot and wanting to ejaculate all over the place (but now that I know I'm bi, I wonder if seeing a couple of guys getting it on would arouse me? Ew…). But aside from that, Adam Lambert had his perfectly manicured and glittered hand wrapped tightly around my cock. He had a vicious smirked playing on his lips. He was either teasing the crap out of me, forgiving me and indicating things were fine between us, or just plain doing it for entertainment purposes and nothing more.
"Let's get inside your car, Just you, me and the stars, Kind of ménage a trois, sometimes, Would you be m-mine?, Would you be m-mine?, Would you be m-mine?" His grip released from my penis and I sighed in relief. That fucking hurt-
But the pain only started because he practically ripped my hair out as his grabbed my blond bangs and pulled towards him and then out. In and out. I was starting to get a headache from the constant tugging on my scalp. A small groan escaped my lips as my hair roots screamed in pure agony. Why was he doing this to me? Uh, OW! And he didn't even give me a break because he quickly released my hair and spanked my ass super hard. I bucked forward and gasped lightly, but was soon brought back up when the oddly acting glam singer clutched my bleach tresses again.
"Oh baby, light's on, But you're mom's not home, I'm sick of laying down alone, hey, With this fever, fever, yeah, My one and own, I wanna get you alone, Give you fever, fever, yeah…"
With his hand still tangled in my bangs, he went behind me and slowly descended his hand down my chest, towards my bass where he rubbed it gently. His mouth was right by my ear where he sang the next verse into my eardrum. Fuck, this sucked, yet it was so arousing at the same time. He was practically teasing me on stage! Which totally got me off, and made me a bit irritated at the same time. WHAT THE HELL? He sang the nine 'yeah' part that were included in the song and in a blur he was suddenly right besides me, grabbing his own cock (like fucking Michael Jackson) and was bucking his hips outwardly, left and right. The crowd went wild as if they wanted to touch it. And god only knows how much I want too…
"Baby you're mine, Baby you're mine, mine, You're mine…" And without any warning (even though this entire song didn't go exactly as planned) he just took my hand off my chords and made me touch his "glambulge". A dark blush crept onto my face while he looked like he was having the best day of his fucking life. Bitch, this is such a bitch.
His hand was wrapped tightly around my wrist, and he wasn't going to let me leave. So, I might as well mess with him, right?
I shrugged mentally and squeezed it, looking up at his intense eyes. He didn't expect that and during the lyric he was singing he moaned and the fans went completely berserk. I wouldn't be surprised if one overly horny girl jumped on stage and began to fucking hump us. But then again, I wouldn't be able to blame her. Two glam stars fondling with each other. That gets me off just thinking about it.
"Oh baby, light's on, But you're mom's not home, I'm sick of laying (he moaned right here, so it was pretty much "I'm sick of laaaaaaaaaaaaaainyg" His moans are pretty long…) down alone, With this fever, fever, yeah, My one and own, I wanna get you alone, I got this fever that I can't sweat out…"
He released his grip on my wrist and during the next lyric, he gently (for like the first time that entire performance, I used the word gentle) grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into a passionate kiss. His coffee flavor was enough to make me go completely wild with my feelings to him. And at this point, I didn't care who knew we were a couple, I just wanted his peachy smelling hair, tall stature, strong, glittered hands, and coffee flavored teeth to be mine.
I took my hands away from my bass and placed one behind his neck and tangled my fingers in his blue hair, moaning into his mouth. He didn't let go of his microphone, but that arm wrapped around my waist and his other was still securely around my neck. Our eyes were closed, but we could feel the piercing stare of our band and audience members. But that didn't matter right now.
And this kiss made me realize just how lonely I was without him. He was everything a perfect boyfriend could be. Sweet, caring, talented, insanely good looking, complimentary….I could go on for hours about how he makes my world spin around. And I couldn't even get myself to believe that I had hurt him as badly as I did. It just doesn't seem possible.
If Adam was mine again or not, I was going to not only kiss him over again, but I was going to do it in the rain. I was going to make his dream become reality.