Apologies for taking so long, but I WILL finish this story. Anywhoozle, appreciate the input on the last chapter and here's an in betweener.
"How's Garrus?" Joker asked as Commander Shepard joined him at the helm. The turian was a mess as they brought him aboard the Normandy. His rescue had gone smoothly based on recent standards, which were admittedly low. However, the gunship that Laura thought she had disabled was serviceable enough to make an appearance and take a chunk out of their favorite turian.
"Possibly now more ruggedly looking thanks to some new scars," Shepard said dryly.
"Yeah? Is this going to be a problem between you two?" the pilot queried as he rotated his chair to face his XO and scooted over so she could sit.
"Oh I don't know," Laura said as she draped her arm around her favorite helmsman. "I've dated all kinds: muscles, lanky, average, cripple. Those turians sure are exotic and solid."
"Alright, alright I get it. I'm an ass for asking," Joker said as he playfully shoved the commander.
"Yup," Laura said, popping her 'P.' "He should be up and nailing marks from a mile away in no time."
"Maybe he'll talk less too."
"And the ass factor keeps climbing."
"Flattery will get you most places Commander, but not with me."
"You wish that was true you old softy," Shepard said as she poked Joker's stomach.
"Leave the pilot alone. Crunches can only get you so far. And you have your soft spots too," Joker teased as he gave Laura's tush a pinch from the seat.
"Prat," the commander said as she smacked his new Cerberus hat.
The Normandy's proximity monitors pinged the pilot's console. Letting Shepard out of his chair before turning back to his computer, Joker accessed the docking cameras. "Expecting somebody?"
"Space pizza?"
"Not unless space pizza is delivered by a facially disfigured, armor wearing, gun toting brute," the pilot observed.
"Must be the merc the Illusive Man messaged me about: Zaeed Massani," the commander explained.
"Ah mercs: scum of the galaxy…until we need them right?"
"Seems the Illusive Man thinks so."
Zaeed knocked on the airlock door. "I know you're using the cameras. And I know the Illusive Man let you know I was coming." After a confirming nod from Laura, Joker let the mercenary in. "About bloody time," he said after being cycled through the airlock.
"Welcome aboard the Normandy," Shepard greeted as she extended her hand in greeting.
Zaeed only stared at the offered appendage. "Who the hell is this broad?" he asked Joker.
"This broad is Commander Laura Shepard," she said before Joker could shoot off a rude remark.
"Hell I don't care. Cerberus is paying me a bundle to finish whatever the mission is. Obviously it's important and obviously they need somebody like me to wear the pants on this tub," the merc said.
"Charming, but in case you haven't noticed I wear the pants, the combat boots, and carry the big guns. And if you're going to have a problem following orders from me I will either have to tie you up and have Joker blast you out the airlock, or take every credit the Illusive Man is paying you and ram it up your merc ass. Get me?"
Damn, that was weirdly arousing.
Zaeed chuckled. "I like that in woman. I'll be below deck if you need me," he said before shrugging his gear and walking off.
"What a swell guy," Joker cracked.
"I think I might have attracted him with that tongue lashing," Laura sighed.
"Is it bad that I thought it was awesome?"
"Only because it might mean you're a pervert."
"I prefer 'sexually minded' if you don't mind."
"Keep it in your pants flight lieutenant."
"Consider it done ma'am. Destination?"
"Well, we could go to the Krogan DMZ, the Citadel, or a prison ship," Shepard listed.
"So in translation: cluster of planets dominated by psychotic alligators, regulated society where everybody thinks you're dead or traitors to the Alliance, or a ship full of assorted psychopaths?"
"Sounds about right."
"So much crazy so little time," Joker sighed. "Why would we go to the Citadel?"
"Another squad mate financed by Cerberus, pick up some supplies, and maybe a quick shore leave."
"Well when you put it like that how could I not pick the Citadel?" the pilot asked.
"Then set the course flyboy and let's get the hell off of this asteroid," Shepard said before heading for her quarters as Joker watched her go. "Stop staring Joker."
"I'm not staring…just making sure Cerberus got everything right."
"Pilots," Shepard sighed.
Holy exposition Batman! Hope you enjoyed this. Will pick up Kasumi next chapter and of course cause some problems. Lemme know what's what with a review!