Little House

I love this place,

But it's haunted without you.

My tired heart is beating so slow.

Our hearts sing less than we wanted.

We wanted.

Our hearts sing 'cause we do not know.

We do not know.

It took me longer than I would have hoped for me to escape to the sanctuary of my room.

"Where have you been?" Charlie demanded, getting up from the couch.

I sighed loudly. "I was down at La Push." I said, hoping he wouldn't investigate that.

His body relaxed. "You have fun with Jake?"

"I wasn't with Jake." I said quickly. "I went over to Emily's for a little while." Since when did lying come so easily to me?

"Well, there's leftover pizza in the fridge. I didn't bother trying to cook." He murmured, already inching himself toward the TV.

"Thanks." I muttered, and I went in to clatter around the kitchen a little before dragging my feet up the stairs. I hoped he wouldn't decide to check on me.

I jerked the door to my room open, eager, but not exactly sure what I'd find.

I definitely didn't expect to see Edward lounging on my bed, the picture of ease.

"You're here." I smiled, ecstatic to see him.

"I'm here." He sat up, pulling me down next to him and tucking me under his arm.

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, and I listened to his steady breathing.

He turned to me. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, his eyes tortured. "I should have never… Oh, God." He hung his head.

"Don't." I whispered, desperate to make him feel better. "I'm fine now. We're fine now." I took his face in my hands. "I love you." I said solemnly, and surprisingly my voice did not waver.

"I love you." He repeated, looking deep into my eyes before brushing his lips softly against mine.

Heaven.

"I know you won't forgive me that easily." He whispered. "I know it will take a while for you to trust me again. So… will you try?"

"That's a dumb question."

"Answer me, Bella, I need to hear you say it."

"Yes, Edward. Yes I can forgive you." I looked deep into his eyes, my words ringing with sincerity.

"Good." He said, placated for the moment. "Because I really don't know how I'd ever live without you."

"C'mere." I whispered, grasping his hard face in my hands and kissing him in earnest. He kissed me back, his lips as desperate and needy against mine. And in the brief moment when our lips disconnected, he whispered my name like a lullaby, like only I could save him from whatever demons he was throwing on himself.

My head was swimming by the time he pulled back, only to nuzzle his head into my neck and take a deep breath.

"Amazing." He whispered. "You smell just the same as you always have."

"Of course I do." I giggled as his nose tickled the skin at my throat. "What did you expect?"

"Not this, surely." And I knew he wasn't talking about the smell of my blood anymore. "When I came inside, when I noticed there was a human in the house," his eyes were far away, his voice low, "I couldn't explain the hope I felt. I couldn't read what they were thinking, I got so excited." He kissed my nose. "Then I came in and saw you. It was really you, after all this time. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven… or hell. I didn't know which at the time. But it was heaven. Definitely heaven."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I remembered you. I mean, I couldn't remember remember, but I had these dreams about a man with golden eyes…" I looked up to meet his butterscotch orbs and smiled. "And I knew that I didn't just get lost in the woods. Everyone thought I was crazy." I chuckled.

"Jacob." Edward said bleakly. I heard anger and…jealousy?

"Yeah." I nodded. "I had to have Seth-he's the werewolf that found me- anyway, I had to have him keep my searching a secret. I'd have gone mad if I couldn't have known. Then I ran into Rosalie, and it all came back. That fast." I shook my head in wonder.

He held my hands in his own, bringing each palm up to his lips to kiss it. "I was done waiting anyway." He said, his voice painful. "I was done trying to get through a single day, it was too painful. I was ready to show up at your door, begging you for forgiveness." He chuckled sadly. "I would have, if I thought you'd have remembered me. Chief probably would have gotten a restraining order against the strange guy who begged his daughter to love him."

"I would have remembered." I was sure.

"I know that now. But I just had to give you a chance at a normal and happy life. This," he gestured to himself, "is not normal. I can understand if you grow out of me someday, Bella. I wouldn't detest you for it."

"I would never." I answered solemnly. "Once I become a vampire we won't have to worry about it anymore. We can be with each other forever."

I knew this statement would shock him, it was what I was aiming for. He needed to know that I had thought about this today while I was talking to Esme and Alice and Rosalie.

I watched Esme and Alice dance around the kitchen gracefully, happily. I had watched Rosalie work on her car and afterwards give herself a makeover that could only be described as the make-up artists' dream.

They all looked so happy. And even though I knew this wasn't always the case, I was ready for it. I wanted to be with Edward forever. Everything else could wait.

He needed to know that I wanted this. That I wanted him.

"What?" He whispered, his eyes full of agony.

"I want to become like you." I said again.

He shook his head. "You have no idea what you're asking." He sounded angry.

"I want you. Always." I said desperately, clutching at his shirt.

He sighed loudly. "You're so young, Bella. So beautiful. Your life has just merely begun. How are you so willing to give up your life for someone like me? Hell, that was the reason I…" he trailed off. "I thought that you were opposed to this life. That you were disgusted by it."

"I was." I hedged, picking at the collar of his shirt. "But I'm sure now. I want to spend forever with you."

He looked at me skeptically. "What about your father? Your mother? Jacob?" I winced, I hadn't thought of that.

"Exactly." He said, putting his hand under my chin so I'd look him in the eyes. "We have plenty of time to discuss your…renovations, Bella. But not tonight. Tonight, why don't you just sleep?"

I tried to argue, I didn't want him to leave just yet. But my yawn gave me away.

He smiled. "Its okay, sweetheart. I'll still be here when you wake up." He tightened his arms and situated himself more comfortably on the pillows to prove his point.

"Promise?" I whispered, already snuggling into his chest. He smelled so good.

"I promise. Goodnight, my love. Sweet dreams."

"G'night." I answered, already half asleep because he started to hum a lullaby to me, officially soothing my nerves and sending me into the blackness.

"What the hell?" He snarled. It wasn't to get my attention this time.

He was mad.

"I didn't know, Jake! I just… I didn't remember anything and… in the woods…"

"I know, I know. Save it."

"Jake." I whispered, my voice cracking.

I could feel Edward's calming presence behind me, waiting, I think, for Jacob to snap. It was slightly irritating that he'd insisted on coming, but in a way I appreciated it.

"You're crossing a line, Bella." Oh, how I longed to hear him say 'Bells' again.

"Then don't draw one." I pleaded.

He stood there for a few moments, shaking, trying to calm himself.

I took a tentative step forward. I ignored Edward's hand on my arm as I stepped forward in the high grass, the meadow just the same as always.

"Jake." I whispered. "I need you, and I love you."

I heard his intake of breath and especially hated myself for what I was about to say.

"So don't make me choose. Because it'll be him. It's always been him."

Jacob looked almost confused for a moment. Our faces were so close together. I could feel the warmth emanating off of him. The warmth that would forever belong to my Jacob. My personal sun.

"Bella." He whispered, his voice pained.

I swallowed heavily, taking a few steps back.

"Goodbye, Jacob." I winced when I heard Edward's voice behind me, pulling me towards him.

"No, you don't fucking speak for her!" Jake roared, and I felt myself being pulled away quickly. The ice cold hands formed like steel manacles around my wrists and refused to let me go.

"Bella, get out of here." He ordered in a low voice.

I wanted to do as Edward asked, but I couldn't find it in me to move. I was frozen with fear and anticipation.

Jake was shaking, his face turning a red color that was odd compared to the color of his russet skin.

"You can't bite her!" He snarled, his words sending a chill down my spine. "I won't let you ruin her."

Edward's face was grim.

"But if it's my choice then it has nothing to do with you." I spoke up.

"No!" Jake roared, taking a few large bounds toward us. Edward stood in front of me, blocking me from Jacob's view. "I won't let you become a leech, Bella. You know what I'll have to do to you. I won't have a choice."

"Jake." I whispered, my voice broken. Tears leaked over the edge as I stepped around Edward. He made a move to stop me but I continued forward.

I opened my arms and wrapped them around Jacob. I squeezed tightly when he didn't respond.

"I know that you think you're doing what's best for me." I sighed. His warmth felt amazing. "But you're just hurting me, Jacob. I want you to be a part of my life. Forever."

"Bella." He said, and for once he sounded just as broken as I felt. "Please. Please don't do this. How about we go somewhere, huh? Just you and me. Like old times."

I held onto him tightly and tried to find the will to pull away. "We can't, Jake."

I looked up at him as I stepped back, the loss of his warmth leaving my heart aching.

"Goodbye, Jake. I love you." I didn't bother hiding the warm tears that slipped down my cheeks, soaking my shirt.

"Bye, Bells." He whispered. "Love you more."

I didn't doubt that.

You can catch me.

Don't you run.

Don't you run.

If you live another day in this happy little house,

The fire's here to stay.

To light the night.

To help us grow, to help us grow.

It is not said.

I always know.

-Amanda Seyfried, Little house

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a few days, but school started for me just this week and its been kinda crazy!

Again, thank you for all your reviews! I'm having a hard time keeping up with them, but i'll try, I promise!

Fun fact: My English teacher -Mrs. Millar- used to be an actress, and is planning to be one when she retires. And no, she wasn't just one of the loser actors, either! She was actually in the actor's union which is where you get paid the big bucks! That's pretty nifty, I thought.

Another one: My math teacher-Ms. Smith- went to Pittsburgh this summer (which isn't too far from where I live) and she was an extra in a little movie called "Abduction" starring none other than: *dramatic pause* TAYLOR LAUTNER. Yeah, even though i'm not a Jacob fan, I had to admit that I was impressed! How awesome, huh? She got to shake his hand and he thanked her for coming and everything. That movie should be coming out next summer.

So, yeah, my teachers this year are pretty much the coolest people ever. lol.

Until next time... :D