(5)

The household on Gracechurch Street was up early finalizing their preparations for the trip to Hertfordshire. While Jane was busy elsewhere, Mrs. Gardiner came into the room the girls were sharing to speak with Elizabeth.

"Lizzy, your uncle has spoken to me in regards to his conversation with Mr. Darcy, and I thought you might wish to discuss it. Were you aware of what they were to speak of?"

Elizabeth continued her preparations, keeping her face turned from her aunt.

"Only that Mr. Darcy wanted Uncle to know that he would welcome his call," she replied.

Mrs. Gardiner watched Elizabeth quietly for a couple of minutes, to see if she would be more forthcoming. She continued in silence.

"Lizzy, is there more to your relationship with Mr. Darcy than a passing acquaintance?"

Elizabeth finally sat, but kept her face turned from her aunt. Mrs. Gardiner could see her bite her bottom lip before she turned with tears in her eyes to look at her aunt.

"Oh Aunt, I do not want to think about that man right now. My life feels as though it is falling apart, and he is not helping. I realise that he thinks he means well, but it is too much!"

When that appeared to be all her niece had to say, Mrs. Gardiner asked, "Lizzy, did he propose to you?"

"Yes, and I do not like him, but I feel obligated by my family's situation to say yes. I already turned down our security for my happiness once. How selfish can I be, when I am in the position to save my family from poverty?" Elizabeth answered tearfully.

Mrs. Gardiner thought quietly for a minute, and then came and sat beside Elizabeth and pulled her into a loose hug. She wished it had not come to her nieces having to consider marriages for security as a necessity, but they needed to be realistic. The girls' circumstances were much more precarious now that they had lost their father's protection.

"Oh Lizzy," she sighed, "I take it you have not given Mr. Darcy an answer, then?"

At the shake of Elizabeth's head, Mrs. Gardiner continued, "And you truly believe marriage to him would be unbearable?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Did he ask you to give him answer soon?"

"I asked for a few weeks to let my life settle."

Mrs. Gardiner was surprised, "And he agreed to this?"

"It is why he spoke to my uncle. I have agreed to visit you in London then, so that he may call on me."

"I see," was Mrs. Gardiner's reply. She was quiet for several minutes. She wished she more than passingly knew the gentleman in question, so that she could offer her niece reassurance. He had shown himself intelligent enough to want Elizabeth, even with their difference in status. He had also shown kindness, in giving her time to decide. While good signs, it was not enough to make a decision of this magnitude on. With the time they did have, though, she and her husband could discreetly ask for more information. If he was willing to support her family and turned out to be a good man, she did not see that Elizabeth could justifiably turn Mr. Darcy down.

"I can see why you are overwhelmed, especially considering this all happened in one day. I am glad you have time, though. I would hate to see you make a rash decision based on the emotions of a moment. I think it would be an excellent idea to try to put this out of your mind for a few days. Your uncle and I plan to stay at Longbourn until Saturday next, so we can speak more on this after the funeral. You need to take the next few days to simply be with your family. You are right, that you have enough to worry about, and I do not think you will be in the right frame of mind this first week, to be deciding."

"Thank you, Aunt," Elizabeth replied as she pulled Mrs. Gardiner closer for a moment. She stood up and said, "I am grateful for you setting my mind a little easier. I will do what I can to not think about this for a few days."

The family finished their packing and set out after a quick breakfast. With the Gardiner children along, there was not a chance for serious conversation; more discussion of the girls' future would need to wait.

The carriage arrived at Longbourn just after lunch. Mary met them at the door, looking very relieved indeed.

Elizabeth and Jane both went to Mary and pulled her into a hug. They wept and held each other. Mary told them that their mother had not left her room since they found Mr. Bennet. If it were not for Mr. and Mrs. Hill, the household would have stopped running entirely. Their younger sisters with with their mother.

After settling the Gardiner children into the nursery, they all went up to Mrs. Bennet's room together. As they entered, she cried out, "Oh Jane! Oh Lizzy! What are we to do? I knew this was how it would be, I just knew it! Brother! Sister! You will have take us in, for I am sure that we will not have a home in a week! Ohhhh! Mr. Bennet! Why did you abandon us?! Oh my head," she ended on a moan, pulling her arm over her face.

The room was quiet for a moment, and then Elizabeth and Jane moved up to the head of the bed, opposite the side of Kitty and Lydia, and sat next to their mother.

Jane was the first to speak, "Mama, surely it will not be that bad. Mr. Collins is not cruel, and will let us stay. Besides, he might not come to live here for a while."

She looked up hopefully at Elizabeth, who simply raised her eyebrow. She did not think Mr. Collins would wait very long. He had been all but counting the silver on his first visit.

"Oh, if only Lizzy had married him, then we would all be safe," she went on. "Surely even you would not kick your own mother into the hedgerows. Or if Jane could have got Mr. Bingley, then she would be rich, and could afford to keep us all. You did not get engaged in London and have not told me yet, did you?"

"No, Mama."

"I thought for sure if you followed him there, you would be engaged by now. Did you call on his sisters?"

Jane winced, "I did, Mama, but I did not see Mr. Bingley."

"Is he coming back? Did they say when he is coming back to Netherfield? He has an estate to run, how long can he stay away?"

"Now, my dear sister," interjected Mr. Gardiner, feeling sorry for his niece, "I would not worry about that. Have you spoken to our brother, Mr. Phillips, about how your husband's affairs were left? I think we need to worry about that first. I believe Mr. Bennet left copies of his papers with Mr. Phillips?"

"How should I know? He did not tell me anything of that! What does it matter? The house is entailed, and that odious Mr. Collins gets everything. If only Lizzy would have married him! But nobody listens to me, and now look at us! I don't suppose you have found a nice, rich man to marry to make up for it have you? Of course not, high gentlemen do not want outspoken wives!"

Elizabeth looked uncomfortable, and this time Mrs. Gardiner decided to intervene, "Girls, why don't you take your uncle to see Mrs. Hill about what needs to be done. I will keep your mother company."

The girls hugged their mother, and with their uncle, gratefully left the room. On one hand, Mrs. Bennet was taking this as expected, which likely meant she was going to survive. On the other hand, the way she was dealing with this upheaval in her life was typically ridiculous. Some things really never changed.

The next few days went by in quiet preparation for the funeral, which was to be on Wednesday. The girls worked with their aunt and uncle to prepare, each taking turns to sit with Mrs. Bennet. She remained in her room bemoaning their fate. Each of them was equally responsible for their current situation in her eyes. She just knew that someone ought to have done something to prevent this. When that 'odious Mr. Collins and his grasping wife' were going to throw them out she did not know, but she was certain it would be before her dear Mr. Bennet was cold in his grave. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, along with Jane and Elizabeth tried to calm her fears, but to no avail.

Little did they know, Mrs. Bennet was not far off the mark. On Tuesday afternoon, while Mr. Gardiner was visiting the vicar with Mr. Phillips and Mrs. Gardiner was upstairs with Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Collins came on his own to console his cousins. The girls were all in the sitting room working quietly when they heard commotion at the door.

He spoke immediately upon entering the room, "My dear cousins, allow me to express my condolences upon the untimely death of your most excellent father." He did not wait for an answer, but continued, "It is quite terrible for you, really, to be left so poorly, and before any of you are married. My dear Charlotte and I have decided that we will let you stay with us, which is the charitable thing to do, as Lady Catherine said when we told her of your new circumstances. But she did advise me to take it upon myself to help you learn to be more demure, proper, young women. Young ladies of inferior birth are meant to listen to their betters, as Lady Catherine said, and not express their opinions on matters outside of their understanding. Your father, God rest his soul, I believe indulged your whims too often. I am, thankfully, in a place to help you all, and I see it as my duty. Young ladies such as yourselves, as lovely as you all are, should not be left to your own devices. Lady Catherine has highly recommended that you all marry as quickly as possible, in order to secure your futures. She says it is quite absurd that the two eldest of you have not married yet, and she fully intends to take it upon herself to look for suitable husbands for you. It will be quite difficult, she is sure, to find a man high enough to marry a gentlewoman without a dowry. I must agree with her, of course, and now that I find myself in the position of landed gentleman, I am better able to help with this benevolent office. I do not think I put myself too high when I say it will be quite in my power to entertain many prospects on your behalf."

A few sentences into this speech, and all five girls could do nothing but stare at him in horror. To say such things to them, and the day before their father's funeral, was unconscionable. How did one even respond to this? After he finished speaking, there was complete silence. His look was one of such complacency it made him all the more ridiculous. Elizabeth was furious and did not trust herself to speak. They could not afford to offend this man, which was all that stood between her and speaking her mind.

Jane was the one who was finally able to say, "Thank you, sir, for your...thoughtfulness."

"Certainly, my dear cousin. I am only thinking of what is best for you, of course. It is our Christian duty to take care of those less fortunate than ourselves, as Lady Catherine says. She is truly the model of Christian benevolence, and I can only pray that I am half as caring as - "

Before he could continue, Elizabeth finally found her voice and asked, "And how is dear Mrs. Collins sir? Is she at Lucas Lodge? Was the trip easy on her?"

They thankfully managed to keep Mr. Collins on other topics until he left, with promises to see to them tomorrow.

Elizabeth escaped as soon as she could. She ran to her room for her bonnet and spencer, and left out the kitchen door to avoid having to speak with anyone else. She wandered the lanes for several hours, lost in her thoughts.

Everything had changed for her family so quickly. They went from being a respectable, landed, family to poor relations. They were now dependent upon the charity of quite possibly the most ridiculous man in all of England. She could see their future; being married off to the first male of any reasonable quality who showed the least bit of interest in them. They would no longer have a choice, not if they did not want to be left homeless. None of their other relatives had the space or income to support them completely. Mr. Collins held all of the power. He could throw their entire family out on a whim. While some may frown at him for it, there was no legal redress to be had.

It was a desperate place to be, and she had the ability to fix it all. A simple "yes," and her family was saved. All she had to do was give up her every hope of marrying for love. She knew that Mr. Darcy thought he loved her, but how could he when he clearly did not even respect her? He had shown that plainly when he spoke of her unworthiness to be his wife. How could she live like that? Forever under the power of a man who saw her as a degradation. How long before his infatuation ended? What misery! He was a man who liked to have his own way. Would she lose every sense of self? This was exactly why she wanted to marry for love. If they truly loved each other, the respect and esteem she so desperately wanted would come naturally.

At the same time, how could she say no? She would be miserable if her family sunk to virtual homelessness, which was a serious reality. Always knowing that she could have prevented it; she would grow to hate herself. She had the power to save her family from this. The odds of her finding love were so slim to begin with, and growing worse. By marrying well, she could give all of her sisters the chance to find what she would not. By marrying Mr. Darcy, she might be able to bring Mr. Bingley back into Jane's life.

Her choice could not be more clear, and now she just had to learn to live with it.

A/N: Elizabeth is being a little melodramatic, but she's terrified. I'm really good at being irrational when I fear something, so I hope it seems reasonable that she would be, too.