A/N: Thanks to FireChildSlytherin5 for the idea of a drinking game!
Chapter 56- The Fantastic Four
Hiro pushed his glasses up on his nose and timidly made eye contact with the snarling waitress. "Sake?" He asked again. This was the second time he had difficulty ordering the traditional Japanese drink in a bar and he began to wonder if it was no longer made.
"Uh…" Sulu interjected, "how about just bringing us some synthohol?"
Ando turned to Sulu and asked "What is that?" It wasn't that he really cared: he was game to try any new and exotic thing. How many more times could he expect to be on an alien planet again in his life? He was determined to make the most of it.
"It's just like alcohol you probably drank back on earth, but it is chemically altered so you won't get sick if you drink too much."
"But I can still get drunk, right?" He asked skeptically.
"Yes, but not to the point that you vill mistake a man for a woman." Chekov smiled. "Believe me, that vould be wery, wery bad."
The way in which all four were wedged tightly into the small booth made for a comical sight, but Hiro and Ando were used to being packed in like sardines in the Tokyo subway so it wasn't really uncomfortable for them. The same wasn't true for Sulu and Chekov and Chekov in particular was reminded of being crammed into the Romulan shuttle next to Matt so tightly he couldn't breathe. He may have hyperventilated if the stuffy craft didn't smell so bad in the first place. The Klingon bar wasn't smelling much better in his opinion.
"This is fun." Hiro smiled cheerily as he looked around the room. For him it was like sitting in the Starwars cantina- if the cantina was in the basement of a frat house.
"Yeah, a real blast." Sulu replied sarcastically.
"How about we make it more fun?" Ando suggested. "We can play a game."
"Vhat kind of game?" Chekov asked perking up.
"A drinking game. Every time a fight breaks out we pick a winner. Losers have to slam their fake beers as fast as they can. And on top of that, the losers race each other. The slowest has to drink another beer for losing twice."
"You are brutal, but I suppose we have nothing better to do." Sulu shrugged. "At least until we have made our appearance and it is safe to return to the ship."
They didn't even have their drinks when the first opportunity presented itself. A few feet away two women appeared to get into an argument over some long ago slight and they chose to settle the score in the ring at the center of the room. The place was too crowded to watch, but the proprietors thoughtfully posted monitors throughout so spectators could keep up. The screens posted pictures of the two contestants along with stats on each along with what looked like odds. Apparently Ando wasn't the first to think of the concept.
"Alright," Chekov said excitedly before the showdown could begin, "vhich do you choose?"
"The G'eta…the…the shorter one." Ando nodded completely unable to comprehend how in the hell to pronounce the name that was displayed. English was difficult enough to learn with all the words that more or less meant the same thing and the tendency for slang which meant nothing at all like it sounded and then all the words that were borrowed from other languages…
If it was hard for Ando, it was impossible for Hiro. He nodded numbly as he tried to show off his bicep as best he could while he muttered, "Big."
"Yeah, she has more muscle, but the taller one has a longer reach. I don't know. I'll go with the taller one." Sulu predicted.
"Me too." Chekov decided. "The taller one looks smarter and brains always beats brawn."
"She looks smarter?" Sulu chuckled as he took a sideways glance at his friend. "Haven't you heard about not judging books by their covers?"
"No, I have not." He replied quietly. And he wasn't lying. Like Ando, he too sometimes struggled with analogies and he had no idea what books had to do with people other than that people wrote them. Well, used to anyway. Now everything was available on PADDs.
Sulu broke out into a full belly laugh and gasped, "You crack me up, Pavel. Seriously."
Hiro stole glances at the screen now and again because he was conflicted. He didn't like brutal violence, much less between two females, but he had a bet riding on the outcome and he really didn't want to have to drink his beer as fast as he could. He felt bad about wishing harm on one person over another, but he didn't want to be on the short end of this particular stick because he really wasn't a big drinker in the first place. A few losses could be costly.
The waitress brought the first round quickly followed by the second just as the match ended with the shorter woman effectively pummeling the taller one into submission. What she may have lacked in skill she made up with sheer force. Chekov saluted Sulu before the drinking race was on while Ando and Hiro watched them take their punishment in amusement. Chekov calmly but efficiently drained his entire glass without taking a breath and set it down to watch Sulu.
"Jesus!" He laughed taking in the smiling Russian. "My glass is only half gone! How did you do that?"
"It is in my blood." He answered simply. "Now, finish that one quickly because you still have one more to go." He gleefully pushed the second full glass closer to his friend. Sulu was so much better than him at so many things- fencing, popularity, more handsome- but there were two things he could never hope to win at: poker and drinking. Never challenge a Russian mathematical genius to games in which drinking or the potential for card counting exist.
Although he felt dizzy, he kept his word and finished his drinks. He sat back with a sigh and said, "Let's hope we get a break before the next round. I don't think I can do that again right away."
"Vill you be ok?" Chekov asked politely.
"Yeah, I'll just have to be more careful who I pick next time." Sulu answered rubbing his face vigorously. The room was spinning faster than he would like it to and he just wanted it to stop. Karma, however, was not on his side. A new disagreement once more brought opponents to the ring.
"At least it is not to the death." Hiro commented grimly as each chose a side.
"It could." Chekov reminded.
The match was surprisingly short and the men assumed it must have been a minor agreement. Still, Hiro was the odd man out along with Chekov. Having already learned that the navigator could easily best him, Hiro decided to use the only advantage he had. As soon as glasses were tipped up, he froze time and cautiously snuck out of the booth and across the room to Nathan, Scotty, and Matt where they stood against the wall talking. He peered into the men's glasses and poured the contents of his into Nathan's as it was the least full and returned to the booth to unfreeze time. He quickly put his glass down with a slight sense of shame for cheating, but there was no way he was going to be the one that had to be carried out at the end of the night because he couldn't hold his alcohol. There was less dishonor in bending the rules than being an embarrassment to his fellow evolved humans and Mr. Kirk.
Chekov's eyes went wide when he realized Hiro had finished before him and he smiled broadly. "Vell done, Hiro! You are better at this than I thought!"
Ando's eyes narrowed as he picked up his second drink because he knew for a fact that Hiro was not good at things like that and he wondered if he cheated, but he would never insult him by asking. He had been to bars for after work drinks way too many times to believe that things were as they appeared. As he finished his second beer, he caught sight of Nathan looking quizzically at his glass.
"So," Chekov said a bit lazily, "do you guys do karaoke?" His face was flushed and he was obviously feeling the effects of four synthehols in quick succession although he was trying hard to play it cool.
"No." Sulu said flatly. "We are not doing karaoke in a Klingon bar."
"Karaoke is fun." Ando protested.
"Yes, but not here. Not now." He turned to Chekov and reminded, "It isn't exactly like we are on shore leave. We are still technically on duty and that precludes us from making asses of ourselves while in uniform."
Chekov grinned and began to croon "Vhat vould you do if I sang out of tune? Vould you stand up and valk out on me?"
"No…no…no. Stop." Sulu warned looking around anxiously.
"Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song."Ando added.
"And I'll try not to sing out of key." Hiro finished.
Sulu hung his head in defeat as his three compatriots continued, "Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends. Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends." He was sure he was going to lose his rank for failing to keep a small contingent of three in line not to mention they were all terribly off key and sounded like a bunch of cats in heat. He was starting to develop a headache…
The crooning came to an abrupt end when one of the establishment's female entertainers came to the table and with a bored expression began to dance salaciously. Hiro tried to scoot further into the booth to get away from her, but Ando was already wedged too tightly against Chekov who watched the woman with a mixed sense of horror and fascination. Her body moved in a graceful, writhing motion that captivated his attention, but humans had very different standards of beauty than did Klingons and the juxtaposition made for a confusing mix.
Ando wasn't too put off by her strange looks, but there was a certain fierceness about her that made him thankful Hiro was closer to her than he was. He was starting to rethink wanting to meet any women that may be out in space because his first encounter was a bit uncertain.
As for the dancer, she was obligated to make rounds of the establishment in an effort to try to entice the patrons to drink more. It had been a long shift and her feet were sore, but it wasn't often she saw humans, so she made her way to the table full of them in part to satiate her own curiosity. The small human with glasses was clearly intimidated by her and this made her proud. Humans were such a strange species- here was a human who was clearly weak and yet they did not kill him as an infant the way the Klingons would have. Instead, they apparently looked after him and helped him until he became an adult. Why would they allow the weak to live? Now the other two humans- the ones in yellow Starfleet shirts- by their very association they were prime specimens of their species. The blonde one even seemed to be enjoying himself until the other made him look away with a sharp scowl. Sensing no forthcoming tips, she left and headed in the direction of another group of humans standing against a wall.