A/N: So the move is finally over and I am in my new digs. Hopefully things will fall back into place and I will get updates done on time. Thanks for your patience! Cheers!

Chapter 57- The Misfits

"How many Starfleet does it take ta change a light bulb?" Scotty asked excitedly.

"How many?" Nathan asked with a dead smile. For almost the entire time they had been there, the odd engineer had been regaling both he and Matt with jokes that they could never hope to get and his patience was wearing thin. He was well practiced at schmoozing and feigning interest when he would rather be watching paint dry, but even this was testing his skills of endurance. To his mind, the far more interesting question was how his glass had managed to refill itself when he knew damn well he had almost drained it in an attempt to dull the boredom just like he and Pete used to do at all his mother's intolerably stuffy Christmas parties. Not that he was complaining- a self filling glass was a pretty neat piece of technology and he briefly considered how he might sneak it out for future use. Something like that could come in verrrry handy….

"Just one, but at least one red shirt's gotta die in the attempt." He answered gleefully.

Matt gave a half hearted chuckle, but it was clear the punch line was lost on him. He gave Nathan a weary glance before diving into the remains of his glass. Nathan couldn't help but notice that his didn't seem to be magical like his own- his beverage was consistently disappearing. Maybe he got some special stemware meant for the VIP section, although for the life of him he couldn't identify who might qualify as such. He looked up sharply when he heard Scotty mutter, "Ah now, here comes trouble."

"Now we're talkin'." Matt smiled putting down his beer at the sight of the dancer heading his way.

Nathan paused and glanced sideways, "Wait, aren't you married?"

"Sorta. I guess…but not really." He mumbled confused. "But aren't you too?"

"Something like that." Nathan admitted uneasily. "But hey, we can look, we just can't touch, right?"

"Not unless it costs extra." Matt shrugged.

"I'd advise ya not ta have a go." Scotty warned. "It'll end up costin' ya a lot more than ya bargained for."

"Like what?" Nathan inquired.

"Like a trip ta the sickbay when your boaby is itchin' like ya got poison ivy and ya have ta explain ta Dr. McCoy what ya been up to before he'll see to it. And that won't be the worst of it cause he'll lecture ya from now until the sweet lord returns about not gettin' it off every time ya fancy a shag and ya wish your ears would just fall off ta end it." He rolled his eyes miserably.

Matt tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself. "Sounds like you have some personal experience with that one."

"No!" He protested with a hurt look. "Not me, but…well…"

Nathan smiled as he nodded knowingly. "Let me guess, a friend of yours?"

"Aye, ya could say that." He realized his mistake when Nathan began laughing harder. "Now wait a minute! That's not what I meant!"

"It's ok, man." Matt said patting him on the shoulder. "We all have 'friends' like that."

"Some of us more than others." Nathan chuckled. He wiped the smile off his face when the dancer finally made her way to him and he watched with piqued interest. Although she wasn't really his cup of tea and not the usual type to hit on him, she was human like enough to jump start his imagination and as he saw it, it was all just harmless flirting anyway.

Matt struggled to remind himself to keep an open mind regarding contact with other species, but his experience with the Romulans was much easier to accept than the dancer's very…exotic…look. He knew it was wrong to judge others by the way they looked, but he just couldn't get past the ridges on her forehead and her viciously pointed teeth. In all she frightened him more than turned him on, but he didn't want to be rude so he graciously allowed her to run her hands through his hair as she writhed only because he read her mind and saw how curious she was about humans in general. He felt some small obligation to be a good ambassador on behalf of his species.

"Sorry, Lass." Scotty smiled backing away from her attention when his turn came. "Ah can't put ya on the expense report. Starfleet might ask questions."

After she turned away in a huff, Nathan turned to him and commented, "Sure you could have. I do it all the time, you just have to be creative."

"Ah know bloody well how ta pad reports. Who do ya think has the best stash of scotch on the ship?" he asked disdainfully. "I just didn't think the tart was worth the hassle and Ah did ya a big favor."

"I believe it." Matt nodded shaking the Scotsman's hand. "I'll thank you even if he doesn't."

"Good ta see at least one of ya has some common courtesy." He mumbled glancing at Nathan.

Nathan wanted so badly to let loose a lecture about not boring guests to tears with stupid jokes until picking a fight with a Klingon seemed a viable exit strategy, but the politician got the better of him and he graciously smiled because in the back of his mind he thought the engineer could still be useful at some later date and it was best not to burn bridges until you were sure you would never have to cross them again. He was sure all of this suppression of anger over the years would lead to a premature fatal heart attack like his father had- if his mother was to be believed and he wasn't sure he did- but it was so ingrained in him by that point it was second nature.

"So," Matt said to break the tension he felt building up between his comrades, "if things don't work out and we end up staying here, what's the chances of me getting work as a police officer?"

"Oh, aboot as good as any I'd say." Scotty replied congenially. He noted the disingenuous smirk Nathan was giving him, but he thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie. He was responsible for him even he thought he was a wanker.

"You guys still have cops?" He went on hoping to stretch the conversation a bit further. He didn't have to read Nathan's mind to know he needed a little more time to cool off.

"Aye. As long as there are people, there will be those up ta no good that have ta be minded. That hasn't changed one wee bit. There are regular flatfoots and then there are us- like the space police. More like INTERPOL really. Bigger than that even." He corrected.

"So you guys, the whole Starfleet thing as you call it, are space police?" Nathan nearly scoffed. "Then why is it at every turn I have seen you get your asses handed to you and you do nothing about it? The laws don't seem to be in your favor."

"Starfleet's a peacekeepin' organization." Scotty patiently explained. "We can't just run roughshod over whoever we fancy. There are intergalactic treaties ta be minded and as a peackeepin' outfit that's what we try ta do before we go in guns blazin'."

"Still, I would think that you could…I don't know…arrest someone who attempts to murder everyone on your ship?" He persisted. "Surely that must still be a crime."

"Ah, the old cowboy thinkin' eh? Kill em all and take names later, right? Lemme tell ya how that worked out for ya since you'll be lucky enough not ta see it for yourself: the biggest world war the planet's ever seen nearly wiped us out thanks ta paranoid people who didn't like other different from them. So those lucky enough ta live through it thought it might be time ta do things a bit differently and try talkin' ta each other rather than tryin' ta kill them."

"There's a time for peace and a time for war." He rebutted. He loved debating and perhaps that was what he missed most about being a lawyer. He relished getting his opponent to concede even if he didn't believe what he was arguing for in the first place. "Diplomacy certainly has its advantages, but there are those that are too dangerous to be allowed the luxury of negotiations. You can be a pacifist if you like, but I for one think it's better to put self preservation above all else."

"Would ya?" Scotty asked with a devilish gleam in his eye. "So you're tellin' me that if Ah had a gun and held it ta Peter's head you'd just let me kill him? Suppose Ah said he could live if ya let me kill you? You're full of shite if ya think you'd let him die and we all know it."

Matt chuckled and gave Nathan a pat on the back. "You just got served, dude."

"I got what?" He asked confused. "Wait, no. That's not it. Peter can't die, so that's not even a valid argument."

"He can die." Matt reminded. "Just not in so many ways like the rest of us. The point is he got the best of you, now man up and admit it."

"Ok," Nathan sighed trying to regroup, "maybe there are some exceptions. I didn't say I was an absolutist about it, but in general sometimes you have to fight for what you believe in and that means going to war if negotiations fail."

"And that's what we do." Scotty nodded with conviction. "Don't get me wrong, we're not a bunch of tree huggers- we take care of business when we need ta and we do a bang up job of it. We're just not keen on the whole sackin' and pillaging approach the way some are."

It was about this time that the Klingon standing nearest the odd humans had enough of their chatter. He turned to the group and hissed, "Do you mean the Klingons? You insult me with your weak ways. We have no respect for you or your Federation when all you wish to do is talk when we are ready to fight!"

"If we insulted you, we are sorry." Nathan smoothly interjected. "We were just having a conversation amongst ourselves. If you would like to join you are welcome to."

"I do not want to join in your prattle!" The Klingon growled. "You have insulted me and your apologies are not accepted. We will settle this the honorable way."

Matt immediately knew what he was referring to as he had been casually watching the monitors to observe the fights and he knew this was exactly what they were all trying to avoid. He also knew that using powers was verboten, but he saw no other option to avoid annihilation so he took a step closer to the alien and stared at him intently. In a clam, measured voice he slowly said, "You do not want to challenge us to a fight. We did not insult you or your honor. Now just turn around and forget you even heard anything."

The Klingon's eyes grew distant and he numbly shuffled away as though he were sleepwalking. Nathan watched him go and he noted in a low voice, "You know that was illegal, right?"

"As if you care what's legal and what's not." Matt sniped. "It was that or watch one of us get slaughtered. It was just one time and no one but us knows what happened."

"What did happen?" Scotty asked mystified. "They never just walk away!"

"Matt worked his mojo." Nathan answered finishing off his drink. He was a little dismayed that the magic cup seemed to stop working because no more alcohol had appeared. Perhaps it was a onetime use thing. Too bad because the way the night was going he would definitely need more. He glanced toward the bar and contemplated ordering another when he spotted Peter sitting with McCoy and Mohinder. From the looks of it, Peter was having a better time than he was and he was a bit jealous