(12)
On Wednesday, Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner made their way to Mayfair to visit Darcy's other aunt. This time they were to have tea with a countess, and Elizabeth was feeling slightly overwhelmed again. Never in her twenty years would she have imagined that tea with a countess was a possibility. Now, not only was she visiting her, but in three short weeks she would become related by marriage to her. Add to these feelings the worry over how she would be received after her interaction with Lady Catherine, and Elizabeth was not all that anxious to arrive at their destination.
Her Aunt Gardiner reached across the seat and gently squeezed Elizabeth's hand before saying, "You will do fine, Lizzy. I believe I have said this before, but I will say it again: you are a graceful, gently bred lady with good manners. Be yourself and they will grow to like you. Mr. Darcy has assured you that his aunt is determined to give you a chance for his sake. I think it is clear that this will not be the same as the 'interview' you had on Monday."
"I do not expect Lady Fitzwilliam to have manners like Lady Catherine, but I know that I will not meet expectations of what has likely long been set for the new Mrs. Darcy. It does not matter who I am, my station fails me before I even walk in their door. I do not like being judged by my position in society rather than myself."
"It is the way of the world, dear, and unlikely to change anytime soon."
"That does not make it any more right. I will never understand how anyone can think you are not an impeccable lady simply because your father had to work for a living, or me because my father did not enjoy visiting town and neglected to provide a dowry. That women can behave as Lady Catherine did and have more importance in the world is backwards. But you have heard my frustration on this topic too many times, and I will not bore you with it again."
"Lizzy, it does you credit to value people for who they are, and I hope you do not stop. Unfortunately you must give people the proper deference for rank, regardless of whether they truly deserve it, for society to be pleased with you. It would reflect poorly on you and your future husband to do otherwise. I do not think you would do less than expected of you, but this is one place you will need to watch your impertinence. Believe me, I understand the wish to do otherwise."
"You mean that I should not allow my impertinence to turn into irreverence."
"Precisely."
Elizabeth sighed. "You are very reasonable. I generally appreciate it, but right now I would rather you were not."
Mrs. Gardiner laughed softly. "I am glad you can be reasonable, even if it is against your will."
They arrived at their destination and were handed from the carriage, led to the door and had entered in a moment. Elizabeth no longer had time to speculate on what was about to happen, it was upon her. Her first glances around the entrance hall caused her to look at her aunt with raised eyebrows. While not ostentatious when compared to Rosings, this house was certainly grander even than Darcy's. Elizabeth had only ever visited homes comparable to this on tours with her aunt and uncle, never as a guest.
She was not given long to absorb it all, though, as their outerwear was taken and they were ushered down the hall with great efficiency. In a moment they were introduced into the drawing room of the Countess.
Greetings and curtsies were done, including the introduction of Viscountess Milton, Lady Fitzwilliam's daughter-in-law, and they moved to small talk. Elizabeth felt that she and her aunt were holding up quite well; the discussion was centering around the quality of fabrics and the fashion of the latest colors. Thankfully, due to Mr. Gardiner's business, they both knew what they were talking about. She found it difficult to read her future relations, though. Both ladies were watching her carefully without giving anything away themselves. They were both polite, however, and Elizabeth began to relax as it became apparent she would not be required to defend herself against an inquisition today.
Soon the conversation moved to the paintings in the room. Mrs. Gardiner expressed interest in one across the room, and Lady Milton offered to show it to her with alacrity. Mrs. Gardiner saw what the ladies were about, but felt Elizabeth would be fine. Lady Fitzwilliam had been gracious so far, and she did not expect that to change. It was apparent her future aunt had something she wished to discuss with Elizabeth.
Lady Fitzwilliam waited until they were out of hearing and turned to Elizabeth.
"Miss Bennet, I would like to speak frankly with you for a moment if you please."
Elizabeth found herself startled out of her complacency. Apparently she was not escaping inquisition after all.
"As long as you do not mind frank replies, Lady Fitzwilliam," she replied.
"I expect nothing less. Now, my nephew has explained your situation to me, and also the current status of your affection, or lack thereof, for him. I think you will understand that I am concerned for him. He appears to be rather blindly in love with you."
Elizabeth found her ire rising, but pushed it down in an attempt to stay civil. She knew that his relatives would scorn her station in life, but it would be very irritating to have it pointed out to her by everyone.
"My lady, I do not know which 'situation' you are referring to, you will need to be more explicit. As for Mr. Darcy's love for me, I cannot help that. Believe me when I say I tried before we became engaged."
"The situation I spoke of was the passing of your father. I am sorry to hear that on your behalf, no girl wants to lose her father, most especially before she is wed," the Countess said calmly. She recognized what had upset Elizabeth, and had no intention of pointing out her lack of position. It was clear that both parties were aware of the difference in station. Darcy was determined to have the girl, and his aunt was much more concerned about the lack of affection on her side.
"Thank you, my lady," Elizabeth replied quietly.
The Countess looked at her for a moment, "You tried to discourage him, then?"
"It appears he has related many things to you in regards to our relationship. I am not sure exactly what you know, but I refused him the first time he asked, quite forcefully. I accused him of all manner of misdeeds, at least one of them that I found out later was not true and one where I misconstrued his motives. I myself do not understand how he could bring himself to see me again, let alone propose a second time. When he did propose again, I asked for time to decide. Three weeks later I asked him again if his offer still stood. I have given him several opportunities to change his mind. For some reason, he is determined to have me. Forgive me for saying this, I do not like to consider myself mercenary, but when he presented the possibility of saving my family from virtual destitution and I realised he is an honorable man, I saw that this future was the best for my family. I will not deny that I am gaining a secure future as well, but I am doing this primarily for the stability of my family."
"I hope you understand that I am not trying to be cruel to you, but I expect that you are likely the more reasonable of the two of you at this time. I do not understand where this love-struck business came from with Darcy, he has always been so level-headed. I do not think it is a good idea for him to tie himself to a woman who he is madly in love with but who feels, at best, indifference toward him in return. I worry that he will spend his life pining for something he will never be able to obtain."
Elizabeth was thoughtful for a minute before responding, "I do not wish to spend the rest of my life married to a man I do not love, either. I have always sworn that only the deepest love would induce me to matrimony, but I find that I no longer have the privilege of being so selective. It was never very likely that I would find a man who would be able to support me and fall in love with me in return. However, I never truly thought I would be put in this position, needing to marry for security. If it helps soothe your worries, I have learned in the past few weeks that I did not know Mr. Darcy as well as I thought. He is…" She paused, looking down and contemplating her words as she said them, "I find that...he has more good qualities than I realised. While I do not see myself falling violently in love with him, I do think it is possible for us to become friends. I was concerned about the very things you are before I agreed to marry him, but I now find myself not as worried as I was." She continued to speak slowly, still looking downward in concentration, as she said, "I think that we are both entering this marriage trying to make the best of it, and I am coming to see that it may be enough for us to be...satisfied. We may never be more than that, but if that is enough for him, I will make it enough for me."
Elizabeth continued to quietly stare at the floor. Lady Fitzwilliam had watched her think through what she was saying with curiosity. It appeared that her future niece was coming to these conclusions as she said them. The Countess let it be quiet for a few minutes, and then signaled to her daughter-in-law that the tete-a-tete was finished. She was satisfied with the knowledge she had gained today. Miss Bennet was not as immune to falling in love with her future husband as she currently believed herself to be. It was enough for Lady Fitzwilliam.
When the other ladies joined them, they continued the visit pleasantly, but it was clear to all that Elizabeth was no longer interested in their conversation. She tried to follow it, and was not rude, but was only making a minimum effort. Since the reason she was inattentive pleased Lady Fitzwilliam, she took no offense and simply wrapped up their visit. She was not particularly pleased with Elizabeth's family's position, but she was at least a gentleman's daughter and had shown that she had excellent manners when needed. The girl had weathered her own questions well, not backing down when she felt insulted, but responding with grace. She would do well enough in the circles of society she was marrying into.
Elizabeth did not have a restful night. She was thinking over the entirety of her relationship with Mr. Darcy and trying to decide when she had started thinking of him as a friend. She had stopped hating him after she read his letter, but she had preferred to avoid him anyway. When had she started looking forward to his visits?
She could readily admit that she was comforted by his visit on Monday after seeing his aunt. She had been relieved that Lady Catherine had failed to convince him of her unworthiness. Had that lady spoken to him immediately after their argument at Hunsford, he likely would have agreed with her assessment of Elizabeth's shortcomings. He had not shown any of the arrogance she had accused him of during that impromptu visit. Truly, he had been growing steadily more agreeable since their engagement. When Elizabeth had told Lady Fitzwilliam that she could see them becoming friends, she had not thought of it until that moment. Assessing their relationship now, she would say they were friends.
Elizabeth was not blind to the noticeable deepening of Darcy's regard for her, either. How he could be coming to love her more when she had accused him of so much and given him so little credit for anything good was beyond her. She was beginning to feel guilty that she could inspire so much love in him when she felt none of it herself, and had done nothing to earn it. He was proving to be a good man and they were becoming friends, but she did not think that it was anything close to love. She almost wished it was.
Darcy found the next two weeks very frustrating. Since Mr. Gardiner had caught them alone together, he and Mrs. Gardiner were much more careful at not leaving Darcy and Elizabeth unchaperoned. He wished the circumstances of their engagement were different, so they were not so heavily scrutinized. If she was not in mourning or if they would have had a more public courtship, society would not wonder as much. If they were of the same circle of acquaintances, there would not be suspicion of motives. He understood that it would be easier for Elizabeth later if there was no question of her honor and the reasons behind their marriage. He knew that her aunt and uncle were doing what they saw best. He still simply wished for private conversation with his fiancee.
There were dinners and teas back and forth between the houses, but much of Elizabeth's time was spent with her aunt and Georgiana. He was happy with his sister's developing relationship with his fiancee, but found himself exceedingly jealous at the amount time she spent alone with Elizabeth.
He had once come upon them in the music room at his house, where they had been playing together. The music had stopped, so he had gone to see why. Georgiana was holding Elizabeth as she cried and told his sister about her father. Georgiana had done a wonderful job of comforting her, and soon they were laughing together. He had backed away from the room before they noticed. He had felt himself unreasonably jealous of that comfort. He wished Elizabeth trusted him enough to speak to him about her father, but she rarely did. He had asked Georgiana about it later, and she had told him that they had been playing Mr. Bennet's favorites together, and that it had overwhelmed Elizabeth. Georgiana remembered what it was like to lose her own father, and how speaking of him had helped her the most. She was happy to offer that to her future sister.
He did find an opportunity to see his Aunt Fitzwilliam again, and she had rather cryptically said something to the effect that Elizabeth would do for him and she looked forward to seeing his wife blossom. The significant look she gave him made it clear that she meant more than she was saying, but he could not see what that was. He was grateful that they seemed to have taken to each other. She indicated that Lady Milton was satisfied, too. It was good to know he had the backing of more than his cousin Fitzwilliam when presenting Elizabeth to society. He knew it would be easier for her if she was accepted by most of his family.
The remainder of the Bennet women arrived on Thursday afternoon, one week before the wedding. After that, Darcy knew he would have to wait until they were married before he would get any time alone with Elizabeth.
Darcy stayed away on Friday. Not, he promised Elizabeth on Wednesday when he was taking his leave after dinner, because he was avoiding meeting them again, but because he wanted to give her time with her mother and sisters. To himself, he knew he was not thrilled about spending time with Mrs. Bennet or the younger girls, but he also knew he needed to learn to do so for Elizabeth's sake. She had dealt with the inquisition from both of his aunts. While Aunt Fitzwilliam was an ally for their future, he knew she had been uncomfortable. She had not blamed him for the stress of either of those meetings. It was time for him to return that favor.
For Elizabeth, she was determined to spend her Thursday night and Friday attempting to gauge Jane's feelings.
After they had settled into their shared room for the night, Elizabeth turned to her sister and asked, "How are you Jane, truly?"
"I am well, Lizzy. It was a little trying to keep the peace these past few weeks, but not as bad as it could have been. I feel for Mama and the Collinses, trying to learn their new places. It cannot be easy."
Elizabeth watched her sister for a moment.
"I am glad to hear it. I still feel guilty for leaving you to deal with all of that. What about Mr. Bingley standing up with Mr. Darcy at the wedding? Will you be comfortable seeing him again?"
"We shall meet as common and indifferent acquaintances," answered Jane calmly.
"And if he should show a preference for your company?"
"My dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in danger now? I saw more than was there when we met last autumn. I will always think of him as one of the most amiable men of my acquaintance, but he can be nothing more. It would be unfair of me to assign expectations to his behavior when he clearly does not intend them."
"What if he does intend that you should see his preference for your company? What if he does love you?"
Jane's eyes filled with tears at this and she trembled as she said, "Please do not say that, for my sake. Please understand that I have to think of him as uninterested. I cannot stand the thought of him being capricious with my feelings. I thought too well of him for that, therefore I must have been mistaken."
"Oh Jane, I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you. I will not mention the possibility again, unless you ask me to," Elizabeth said as she hugged her sister. She felt remorse for prying and bringing up feelings her sister wished to leave alone, but she was also very worried about Jane's heart if Mr. Bingley decided to pursue it once again. While she believed that he was a good match for Jane, if he could be more steadfast, it would likely take Jane some time to trust him again. Her heart had been hurt too much in the past few months; with the death of their father and the Bingleys' desertion. Mr. Bingley would need to work hard to overcome all that had happened. She hoped he was strong enough for her sister's sake.
She would not need to spend her time trying to gauge Jane's feelings after all, and her sister quickly changed the subject.
"And you, Lizzy, is your future husband growing on you? You have been quite circumspect in your letters, but I think he might be. While you are not praising him, you are certainly not disparaging him, either."
Elizabeth blushed at this. She had not shared with Jane her changing feelings toward Mr. Darcy because she was not sure of them herself, yet.
"I do not entirely know. I know that I no longer detest him, that I would begin to call him a friend. But Jane, I do not think it is love. I still cannot see myself loving him. How could I, when we are so different?" she finished with strong feeling in her voice.
"But you think you are becoming friends? That is good, is it not? You enjoy spending time with him now?"
"I do," Elizabeth replied slowly. "I was very happy that he came to see me after Lady Catherine's visit. He was so...pleasant that day, and really, all the times I have been in his company since then. I'm very curious to see how he does with the rest of our family, though. He has never done well when confronted with our mother and youngest sisters."
"They do have a lot of energy, which could be trying for someone like Mr. Darcy, who may be more used to a quiet household. But they are your family, and if he truly loves you, do you think he will try harder for you?"
"You think he is simply overwhelmed by the energy our family has?" Elizabeth questioned incredulously. She was quiet for a moment before she went on, "I had not thought of that before. I suppose, the past five years it has been just him and his sister. But he must be used to being out in society. How could a man of his station not be?"
"Think of Papa, Lizzy. He abhorred society unless he was in the mood to laugh at it. He avoided even our modest neighborhood unless he felt he could not, and Meryton is nothing to London."
"You have said before that you think he may be shy, and he has told me himself he finds meeting new people trying. I believe he said it is difficult for him to catch the tone of conversation with strangers. Perhaps he has learned to avoid trying to meet new people and creating friendships with them because he finds it too hard."
"That could very well be. Not everyone enjoys spending time in large groups or meeting new people. You excel at it, so perhaps you can help Mr. Darcy along."
Elizabeth laughed at this, "I have a hard time imagining me smoothing Mr. Darcy's path into society. He was born to the life! But you may be right, that he merely needs guidance. It is good to know there is something I can bring to the marriage. He shall provide my entire family with a living and keep me in style, and I shall make him pleasant to the world. I no longer need to feel as though we are not equals."
"Lizzy, you may laugh at the idea, but that might be precisely what attracted him to you in the first place. Your vivacity and good humor is very appealing to those of us who are not as comfortable in large groups. You keep the conversation moving along pleasantly, and you help bring out the best in those around you. I know that it allows me to join conversations and not worry that we will have uncomfortable silences. I am able to add my thoughts without the attention turning to me. It is reassuring. Perhaps Mr. Darcy feels the same."
"But you always do fine in conversation, Jane! I have never seen you struggle."
"That is because when you witness my conversation, you are always there, Lizzy."
Elizabeth was astonished. She had never thought of herself that way. She wanted others to be comfortable, but she did not consciously do things to make it so.
"We all have our strengths, Lizzy. This happens to be one of yours. I think that you are a good fit for Mr. Darcy that way, and he recognized it. You may be very different, but perhaps you complement each other well. Have you ever thought of the places where you wish you were stronger? Do you know Mr. Darcy well enough to see that he has strengths there? You might be surprised to find that you will do very well together."
"I had not thought to look at us that way," Elizabeth said.
"It will make it easier to be married to him, Lizzy, if you can start recognizing his strengths and looking for the things that you can appreciate about him."
Elizabeth was filled with shame.
"I have been very childish, Jane. I have spent this entire time resenting having to marry a man I do not love. I never thought to look for things to love about him."
"It is not too late to begin, Lizzy."
It was not, and she was determined to try anew.
The sisters went to bed after that, but Elizabeth lay awake for a long time, trying to think of Mr. Darcy's strengths and weaknesses, and how they might complement her own. She would need to look for opportunities to understand him better. She finally fell asleep very determined to do what she should have done all along.
The following day was spent as a family, with Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner updating the rest of the ladies about her courtship so far, and they in their turn sharing how Longbourn was getting along.
As for the latter, Mrs. Bennet bemoaned the changes being made by Mrs. Collins; she did not understand why the way she had run things for years was not good enough anymore. They attempted to explain to her that Charlotte was entitled to organize her home how she saw fit, which was likely a reflection of what Lady Lucas had taught her, but to no avail. They quickly recognized that it pleased Mrs. Bennet to be allowed to have her complaints, so they patiently listened instead.
When she finished bemoaning her fate at having to step down as Mistress of Longbourn, she quickly moved to complimenting Elizabeth on saving them all.
"Your future husband is so rich, Lizzy! I am so proud of you, snapping up a man like that. Did you work out that nonsense about Lady de Bourgh's daughter? She is not going to steal him away, is she?"
"No, Mama, Mr. Darcy was never engaged to his cousin, that was a misunderstanding."
"Excellent! I knew that pompous cousin of yours was a fool. Now, what have you done about your wedding dress? And what about your trousseau? Goodness, what will we do about that? Sister, will my brother be paying for Lizzy's trousseau? I cannot afford to, but we cannot have her marrying a man like Mr. Darcy with the dresses she has!"
"Do not worry, Sister, we are giving Lizzy her wedding dress as our gift, and Mr. Gardiner has worked out the details of her trousseau."
"Well, how much have you already gotten? I need to see it so that we can decide what needs to be purchased yet. And the dress! I must see it. Is it sufficiently grand for Mrs. Darcy?"
Elizabeth and her aunt had planned for this, knowing that Mrs. Bennet did not think anyone else was as capable as her at making fashion decisions.
"Mama, my dress is still at the modiste; it will be completed by Tuesday, and we are going for my final fitting that morning. We scheduled the fitting so that you could go along. Our mourning will be right at the two months mark, so while we are all still in black, it is not indecent for you to be shopping then. We knew that you would wish to see the modiste, and this way you will be a part of the process of getting the dress. Does that plan suit you?"
Mrs. Bennet was very pleased with that plan, but went back to the trousseau, wanting to know what had been purchased.
"Nothing yet, Mama. Mr. Darcy has graciously made my trousseau part of the settlement. Since I will not be expected to go out into society until after this season is over, we will not be purchasing anything until after the wedding. It is not what is normally done, but we felt this was best. It would not do to have him purchasing my personal things before we are married."
"Goodness, no! We would not want you to look like a bought woman. But what a generous man! I never would have thought it of him, with his aloofness from last autumn. What a son-in-law you have gotten for me, Lizzy!"
She went on to try and wiggle out of Elizabeth what amount was settled on her, for her trousseau, pin money and what would be provided for herself and the remaining girls, but Mrs. Gardiner helped her avoid answering with specifics. They were worried that Mrs. Bennet would try to take a house for herself if she knew what the terms were, and had planned for this. In order to avoid her trying to guilt Elizabeth into sharing her pin money, they had also decided it was best if they were vague about that amount, too.
Elizabeth had every intention of helping her family where she saw fit, but she did not want to set up any expectations over what Darcy had already settled on her mother. Her mother's intentions were usually in the right place, but she was often overzealous in her spending. She knew it was difficult for Mrs. Bennet to practice economy, and they felt this was the best way to keep her from overspending too much.
Overall, though, Elizabeth was very happy to be reunited with her family. Her mother's unrestrained enthusiasm was good to see. While there was an underlying sadness to many things that Mrs. Bennet said when they referenced Mr. Bennet, they were grateful that she did not appear to be falling into a black humor.
Elizabeth enjoyed spending the few remaining days she had as a single woman with her sisters. She might find them exasperating at times, but they were still her family and she loved them, quirks and all. They all wished to know about Miss Darcy, and were excited to meet her. Mary looked forward to finding another kindred musical spirit, and Kitty and Lydia hoped she enjoyed fashion, so that they might learn from her what was the latest to take back to Hertfordshire with them.
Elizabeth was glad that they were all anticipating the meeting with Georgiana happily, as it would make it easier for her future sister if they were welcoming. She relished in the lively chatter and the busyness of the room. It warmed her heart to be in the normal chaos of the women of her family.
She did take the time to reflect on how Mr. Darcy could be overwhelmed by all of this. She saw how it would be difficult for a man used to quiet to suddenly be thrust into what sounded like a veritable hen house! She was used to the conversations being spoken over each other, and the constant interruptions. They were not being rude, that was just how they were when they were all together, especially after having one of them gone. Even when she and Jane had stayed at Netherfield for only a few days, they had been this way when they returned. But for a man who struggled to follow a conversation with one person he did not know well, this would turn into indistinguishable noise. He had never been with them while they were acting as they did at home. She would have to work on ways to make it easier for him. She wanted him to be comfortable with her family, so that he could enjoy himself and she would not feel that she needed to limit their time with them.
On Saturday, Darcy and Georgiana arrived early for dinner. There were introductions for Miss Darcy all around, and the group soon found its way into small sets of conversation. Elizabeth watched them all for a while, and two things quickly became clear to her. First, Georgiana was loving all of the noise, and was soon conversing with her sisters with ease. She had been nervous about this meeting earlier in the week, but Elizabeth's reassurances must have settled her feelings. Secondly, Mr. Darcy was making a genuine effort to join in as well. He was still more reserved than the rest of them, but he was actively trying.
Granted, her mother was doing very well. She was rather overly complimentary, but she did not say any vulgar comments. Still, Elizabeth was very pleased to see his effort, and after a while she gently pulled him aside. Partly so that he could have a break, and partly because she wished to speak with him herself.
When they were sufficiently separated from the room, she asked him, "Mr. Darcy, will you tell me, do you consider yourself shy?"
Darcy was a little surprised by her question, but responded truthfully. "Yes, if you mean that I am uncomfortable around strangers and find it difficult to meet new people. I believe I have told you before that I am not able to catch the tone of conversation with people I have just met."
"You have."
"May I ask to what this question tends?"
She laughed and then sweetly answered him, "I once told you that I was trying to illustrate your character. Now I am trying to illustrate your disposition. I do hope that I create a more faithful sketch this time. I am certainly less prejudiced against you now, but as we both know, I can be very wrong in my judgements. I am hopeful this time, however, that you will help me along."
That Elizabeth wanted to know him further brought a powerful warmth to his heart.
He smiled and replied, "I believe it is my place to respond with 'I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours,' except this time I truly mean it. Are there any other questions I can answer to aid you in this endeavor?"
"Hmm, I should have thought this through more before I asked you the first question. I did not think you would answer me that one, let alone be so compliant with my request. Tell me, why are you so compliant this time?"
She watched him curiously while he blushed.
He did not look her in the eye when he answered, "I shall not deny that I find it gratifying that you would wish to know me better."
It was Elizabeth's turn to blush as she replied, "Yes, well, I feel it is better to know you than not, since we are to be married in less than a week. I am not planning to remain strangers for the rest of our lives."
He could not decide if it was better that her family and his sister were in the room or not, but he dearly wished to kiss her in that moment, and they were all that stood in the way of it. She must have been able to read the desire in his eyes, because she turned a deeper shade of red and then could not look at him.
"And why do you suppose it is difficult for you to catch the conversation of strangers?" she asked shakily, hoping to deflect his thoughts from whatever she could see in his eyes.
Since he could not act on the feelings, he helped her move the conversation along.
"I cannot read other's expressions and tone as I see people do. Your uncle, for example, was able to determine my character to his satisfaction by asking me a few pointed questions that invoked responses that he was hoping for in our meeting after you returned to London in the end of April. I do not see that emotion as clearly as he does. I more often misinterpret other's motives and feelings than understand them. I find it easier to simply avoid the process entirely most of the time."
"So, rather than being a snob," she replied cheekily, "when you are avoiding conversation, it is because you do not know what to say."
"I must be honest, there are times when I refuse to respond in hopes that an annoying person will go away. After some further thought on this, however, I will be using that much less often."
"You mean to say after my thorough scolding, I believe."
"I will say again, Elizabeth; what have you said that I do not deserve? To my shame, I have not always been gentlemanly in your presence, and I am not proud of it."
Elizabeth held his eyes with her own as she replied, "I have not behaved as a lady at all times, either. Neither of us has been perfectly well-behaved in our past, but I think knowing it will help us both in the future."
He smiled in return, happy to hear her hopes for a pleasant future for them.
They were interrupted here, with a question about Elizabeth's future rooms, which Mrs. Bennet could barely wait to see on the morrow. They moved back to the general conversation, both satisfied that their marriage in less than a week was looking brighter already.