Wow! Thanks for all your kind reviews. (: This has sort of turned into a longer story than I expected, just because I couldn't make this chapter end happily, (Lilly and Scotty don't seem like 'smooth ride' types do they?), and we all know I love happy. I don't know how many chapters it will be, but stay tuned for more. I'm posting as I write, so sorry for any long delays. Chapter title by Dido.

Disclaimer: So my fiance has been giving me ideas for these. Since I'm always typing away, and I get here and I can't think of anything. This is basically how tonight's conversation went. *I frown* He says, "What's up, baby?" I say, "I can't think of a new way to say how much I don't own Cold Case." *He looks at me weird and pauses* He says, "Is it really necessary? Since everyone knows you'll never have CC?" *I sigh* I say, "People want what they can't have." He says, "Luckily you can have me." *I smile and start typing*

Chapter 2: Never Want To Say It's Love

Lilly fiddled in the back seat of Scotty's car. Since they hadn't had a car seat for the baby, Scotty decided it would be safest if she and Lilly stayed in the back, the seatbelt buckled securely around both of them. It didn't stop him from throwing them both concerned glances every few seconds though. Lilly sighed, he really needed to concentrate on the road, the last thing they needed was a car accident.

"We're okay, Scotty." She bit back a laugh. Hadn't she said that before, and hadn't she been wrong? "Really. This time." Lilly offered him a smile, hoping it would serve as confirmation that she really was fine. Right?

Scotty forced a grin of his own and put his eyes back on the road. Whatever confrontation they would have, whatever decisions needed to be made - they could wait. Scotty decided. The only thing that mattered was that Lilly was in his car, that she'd agreed to go home with him. Fears placated, he pressed his foot harder onto the gas pedal.

Lilly studied Scotty's face furtively from the corner that she could see in the rearview mirror. Conveniently, the only part of him she could see was his right eye. God, the man had beautiful eyes, didn't he? It was the perfectly gorgeous mixture of chocolate and coffee, with the occasional breathtaking specs of golden honey that Lilly had gotten to know over the last 7 years. She'd seen them dark with fury or pain, bright with happiness, or tinted with just a hint of soft tenderness. Sort of like the look he'd had when he'd picked up the baby.

Scotty was so good with the baby, Lilly realized. It was as if he'd been made to be a parent, unlike herself, her sister, her own mother, and any other Rush in the world, she thought ruefully. Just another one of Scotty's qualities, one of those little things that made Lilly love him.

Love him?

Lilly frowned. Of course she loved him, she reasoned hastily. They were partners, best friends, they always had each others backs and frankly, he was one of the longest relationships she'd ever had.

Try again, Rush. Her brain told her firmly. You love him, idiot.

Slightly annoyed with her own inner thoughts, Lilly looked out the window. The sun had long disappeared below the horizon and the street lights gave the sidewalk a yellowish glow. It reminded her of the streets of her childhood, the nice ones, during the time her mother was dating a rich man, and the streets were lighted at night. No matter how beautiful the outside looked though, she couldn't even begin to distract herself. Her heart hammered in her chest, bringing her back into the car, with Scotty. Another glance up to the rearview mirror told her exactly what she needed to know.

Oh.

That sort of love.

Damn it.

Lilly almost laughed out loud at her initial response. Classic Lilly really. The slight amusement in the situation pushed the edges of her panic back a little. She knew it was true now, as she continued studying the color in the one eye. She thought of the way she ached alongside him when he came into work with the dark, pained look. She thought of the way the simple childish brightness could make her own blue eyes reflect his happiness. And finally, she thought of how she'd feel if she couldn't see that everyday of her life.

Lost. Devastated. Broken. Sad. Hurt. Wistful.

I love him? She asked cautiously.

Good girl, Lilly. Her conscience patted her on the back, satisfied.

Lilly blew out a deep breath at the fateful realization. From the front seat, Scotty snapped to attention, his eyes meeting hers through the small oblong mirror. Lilly felt a blush creep into her pale cheeks as she gave him a small smile. The intensity in his eyes, coupled by the pure uninhibited concern… it made her heart race. She wanted to press her hand to her cheeks to cool them, but Lilly didn't move, for fear of waking the sleeping baby in her arms.

At the mere thought of the baby, Lilly looked down fondly. Sure, they'd been through hell in the past 24 hours, both of them. She'd lost a sister and the little one in her arms, well for better or for worse, she'd lost a mother. Lilly stroked the tiny creature's sleeping face, wondering exactly that. Was it for better? Or worse? God and everyone else knew Christina wouldn't exactly be mom of the year, but neither would she, and this baby needed at least one great parent. One great parent would help her break the cycle, help her not end up either with a boatload of issues like Lilly, or a dangerous, flighty life like Chris's had been.

Scotty would be a great parent.

Lilly pressed her lips together, forcing the thought out of her mind. Scotty wouldn't want this baby. She wasn't his, and in Lilly's experience, if your own family didn't want you… no way a total stranger would. At least the baby had her, Lilly affirmed. She would make sure everything was okay for her niece. "I love you." She whispered, pressing a kiss to the baby's wispy blond hair.

Lilly closed her eyes, not noticing the look Scotty gave her, one full of anything but friendly concern.

"Don't just stand there near the door Lil." Scotty sighed with exasperation, watching as Lilly hovered uncertainly near the door, never letting go of the baby. "C'mon" He beckoned. When she didn't move, he grasped her elbow and pulled her toward the lighted living room.

Lilly sighed heavily and didn't say anything. How had she not noticed this man before? The way he was taking care of her, the way he looked at her, the way he said her name… Lilly almost felt her knees shaking, and plopped down on the couch before Scotty would notice. The sudden movement must have jarred the baby awake because she started to fuss on Lilly's shoulder.

Lilly threw Scotty a panicked glance, bouncing up and down on the couch, at a loss for what to do. "Oh, don't… please…" She whispered.

Scotty smiled slightly, this he could handle. He gave Lilly a questioning glance, wordlessly begging permission to help her, and she nodded her assent. Taking the baby girl easily from Lilly's arms, Scotty lifted her above his head, both of his hands easily wrapping around the baby's chest. "What's wrong now, huh?" He cooed.

At the baby's wailing cry, he understood. "She's hungry." He informed Lilly matter-of-factly.

"W-what?" Lilly asked, sitting on her hands and biting on her lower lip. Hungry? Oh yeah. Babies eat. "Well, what do I - what do we… ?" She asked hesitantly.

Scotty sat down next to Lilly, and to her horror, placed the crying baby back in her arms. "You, will stay here, and try not to panic. I will run to the store and get everything we need."

His gently soothing voice calmed Lilly's sudden illogical worry and even managed to pacify the baby, her loud cries dying down to hiccupping sobs. Lilly nodded, her eyes still wide with residual panic. Scotty stood up, kissed the top of both their heads and took one last longing look before hurrying out the door.

Damn it! Scotty griped inwardly, after shutting the door to his apartment. You can't keep kissin' her like that, or else she's gonna freak out. He continued to mentally chastise himself as he rode the elevator down to the basement, and got into his car. He had no idea what possessed him to do that. He really didn't. Up until tonight, the extent of his and Lilly's physical contact had been the handshake when they met, a hand on her shoulder, a loose hug… nothing like the crushing embrace he'd held her in, or the sweet feathering kisses on the top of her head.

Oh, he knew why he did it. He wanted to. It was as simple as that. He wanted to hug her, and comfort her, and kiss her, and do other… less PG rated things with her. In fact, Scotty had known for a long time now that he was in love with his partner. He knew it was ridiculous, and he also knew that Lilly, who was physiologically incapable of accepting affection, would never return his feelings. He'd figured all that out a long time ago, had and accepted his epiphany moments, which left days like today - getting to be close to her, to help her in whatever way he could - as the best days of his life.

Sure, he hated this situation. Hated that it hurt her and scared her, but he loved that it meant he got to step in and pretend for a little while that they were on the same page. And if that meant going on a run for mandatory baby supplies, because neither him nor Lilly had ever had a baby in their homes, well so be it.

As he wandered down the aisles of a large department store, Scotty suddenly had an idea. No way Lilly would have baby equipment in her house, and since he was here… Scotty smiled and headed off in search of a crib, among other things.

Lilly paced around Scotty's living room, attempting to comfort the hungry baby and keep her own panic at bay. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God… Lilly felt like crying along with the baby at the sudden helplessness she felt. She wasn't cut out for this - for mothering. "Shh… baby, please don't cry…" She whispered frantically. Damn it, where the hell was Scotty?

All she wanted was for the baby to stop crying. Really, that's all that mattered. Was she having… maternal instincts? Lilly froze. That wasn't possible right? She hadn't given birth to this baby; actually she'd just met her the day before. But as she looked into the infant's bright blue eyes, eyes that both she and Christina had inherited, Lilly's only concern was for her well being. "I know…" Lilly cooed into the baby's hair. "He'll be back soon."

Just then the front door banged opened and Scotty burst in, his arms laden with bags and bags of baby supplies. He gave her a reassuring smile and held up a finger for her to wait a second. Lilly breathed a sigh of relief as Scotty approached her with a bottle of formula a few minutes later. He tested the temperature on his wrist and held the bottle out to Lilly. She looked up at him, confusion sweeping over her in waves. How was she supposed to do this?

Scotty, seemingly sensing her cluelessness, chuckled slightly and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around both of them. He readjusted the baby for her and placed the bottle in her hand. In a few seconds, the baby was drinking happily and Scotty could feel Lilly's tense muscle relaxing. He placed both his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging while he led her over to the couch. She sat down willingly, her eyes never leaving the amazing baby before her.

"Scotty?" Lilly raised her eyes to look at him gratefully.

"Yeah?" He asked.

For a moment Lilly searched for words to tell her how thankful she was for his presence. "Thanks." She managed. It seemed horribly insufficient.

Scotty nodded. He didn't bother to hide his disappointment. For a second there, he'd thought she was going to say something else. "Baby's fallin' asleep." He pointed out.

Sighing, Scotty took the baby from Lilly's arms, knowing that she still had a lot to learn. Lilly watched as Scotty cuddled the baby lovingly, then walked away into his bedroom. He returned a few minutes later, "I put her in my bed, just 'til we… build that damn crib that comes in a million pieces." He told her.

Lilly nodded. "You're good with her, y'know?" She whispered. "The baby."

Scotty sat down next to her and laced his fingers behind his head, "Nah, Lil. I'm just… I just… got a lotta nieces and nephews, that's all."

"I-I don't have the first idea on what to do, Scotty." Lilly said, leaning on her knees and burying her hands in her hair. "I mean, this baby… she might as well be an alien, a-a bug."

Scotty laughed. "She's a cute bug." He couldn't help but say.

"So… what do I do with the cute Bug?" She asked with a smile.

Scotty put an arm around her shoulders, tentatively hoping she wouldn't shy away from the contact. "You take care of her, love her, and be there for her." He said matter-of-factly. "I mean, that's all we can do."

"We?" Lilly asked, pulling away from him.

Panic consumed Scotty at the look of confusion in her eyes. "I just… thought if you could use a hand… you could stay a while, y'know? I've got space. And a crib. I bought a crib… and a car seat." Scotty rambled on, "Just figured it isn't safe to always be goin' around without one, a-a car seat, that is… 'specially the, way I drive, an' all."

Lilly stood up. "You don't have to do that. This isn't your problem." She couldn't help the self-preservation that kicked in. Scotty didn't mean what he was saying. He would be there for the cuteness, the beginning, the good parts, just like everyone else in her life. And when things got difficult, like they always did for her… She wouldn't fall for his act and wind up hurt again. No way.

Anger flared in Scotty's chest as her Ice Queen mask slid seamlessly over her face. "This?" He repeated with disbelief. "That's a child in there Lilly," He pointed menacingly toward the bedroom. "Not a problem."

"I know that." Lilly retorted, her eyes boring holes through his walls.

"Then you know that life ain't about just you anymore." He yelled. "You got a baby, Lil, who needs you."

"Why the hell do you care?" She asked coldly. "The Bug is mine, you're just…" She trailed off, biting her lip to prevent the hurtful words from spilling out of her mouth. Lilly spun around and stared into his fireplace, wanting to bolt out the door. If only he wasn't blocking her way…

"I'm just what." Scotty stated. It wasn't a question; it was a demand, said in a angry voice that scared her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him. His eyes challenged her to just say it.

Fine. If that was what he wanted. "You're just the one who was whoring it out with her mom." She finished. "And just because you were sleeping with her mom, doesn't make you daddy dearest." She added sarcastically.

Scotty stepped back in disbelief, the shock obviously showing on his features. "So we're gonna have this fight again?" He asked rhetorically.

"No." Lilly answered. "I'm gonna leave." She bent down and yanked her purse up with her, slinging it over her shoulder and stalking toward the door without a backward glance. "Don't know why you brought me here if you didn't want me around anyway."

"Me?" Scotty asked, hoping his words would give her pause. "You- you're the one who's leaving."

Lilly stared sadly back at him, turning the doorknob. "You're the one who's not stopping me."

And with that she was gone.

So yeah, you know what I meant by a lack of a happy ending. Don't worry. I'm definitely not going to leave them here. Maybe I should change the genre to angst though...

Soooo, since I did so much hard work, writing this, coming up with the disclaimer and all... maybe y'all should leave me a little review? Pretty please? With, tons of goodness, on top? *GRIN*