(18)

The second week of their marriage found the Darcys slowly settling into a routine. They met for breakfast every morning, and took a walk together in Hyde Park before returning to the house to start their days. They would see each other throughout the day at various times, and then meet to dress for dinner and spend their evenings together.

Elizabeth spent her mornings working with Mrs. Rowley to learn the inner workings of Darcy House and all of the responsibility it entailed. Mrs. Rowley had done so on her own for years with input from Mr. Darcy, and before him the late Mr. Darcy, but the housekeeper had felt the loss of a mistress for those years. She was happy to help Elizabeth learn, and Darcy was happy to turn those duties over to his new wife.

Darcy had plenty of business himself, and returned to it with a resigned feeling when Elizabeth started her education as mistress. He could not spend every waking hour of the day with her, no matter how much he wanted to. He had work to do and even though they were getting along, he knew they were both of the type to need time apart.

Telling himself he needed to work was very different from actually doing so, though. He found himself in the rare position of being rather useless. Darcy spent most of his mornings with his thoughts on where his wife might be, and what she might be doing. In those first few days of their second week he managed to accomplish little to nothing in the way of business, but he did contemplate his happiness.

Elizabeth had not said she loved him yet, but he definitely thought it was a possibility now. He had not missed her telling him how happy she was at various moments over the past week. He did not think she could fake contentment, and content she appeared to be.

Darcy did not realise how much time he had spent simply daydreaming until there was a knock at his door, followed by his wife with a covered tray.

"Hello, Elizabeth," Darcy said as he walked around his desk to greet her. "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit?"

"Good afternoon, Fitzwilliam. I thought you might be hungry; you have not left this room since we returned from our walk. Unless, of course, you keep lunches hidden in here?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a glance around.

Darcy looked at the mantle clock in surprise, "Is it that time already?"

"It is. Do you mind if I join you? I took the liberty of bringing enough for both of us."

Darcy's face brightened and he smiled at her seeking him out.

"I would be delighted."

She smiled in return and set the tray down on the edge of his desk and removed the cover. She handed him his plate and took her own, then sat down in one of the chairs. Darcy sat next to her rather than going back around his desk. He did not start eating immediately, however, and simply watched Elizabeth.

"You are staring again, Fitzwilliam," she said between bites.

"Am I? Do I?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes, you always have. At least I know now that it is not to find fault. Or at least I think it is not. It is not, is it?" she asked curiously.

He laughed, "Not at all. I am admiring your beauty and hoping this is not a dream that I am going to be cruelly awakened from."

She smiled. "It is not a dream. You vowed forever, and forever you are stuck with me!"

"I could definitely think of worse fates," he said calmly as he finally turned to his plate.

"Why did you watch me? Before, I mean, in Hertfordshire and Kent," she asked after a short pause.

"I was fascinated by you. I could not get enough of you. I still cannot. You are a wonder, Elizabeth."

"Oh," she replied with raised brows.

It was Elizabeth's turn to watch him. He looked up after a minute and asked her, "And are you looking to find fault?"

"No, I do believe you once quite owned having none. It would be fruitless," she replied lightly.

He raised an eyebrow at her, "If I remember correctly, I stated that that was not possible for anyone. I think I have proven that I have many."

She smiled ruefully, "Haven't we both?"

They ate in silence for a while longer. When Elizabeth put her plate aside she asked, "May I ask what you are working on?"

"Ahh, I have been reviewing my investment returns and assessing whether I need to adjust anything."

"Oh! How interesting. Do you have time to tell me about them? Have you found anything notable?"

"I do, and I have not...yet," he said in embarrassment.

Elizabeth gave him a curious look, wondering what made him uneasy, and added quietly, "I do not wish to intrude."

"It is not an intrusion!" he said quickly. He stood and walked around his desk, "I am glad you wish to know where our investments lie. Did you help your father with his?"

He would not be surprised to find she had. She had been so close to her father, and Darcy was sure Mr. Bennet appreciated the intelligence of his daughter.

Elizabeth looked embarrassedly away, "He did not have any. Not that I know of, anyway."

Darcy was surprised to hear that. What gentleman did not invest his earnings for higher return? Not wanting to insult her beloved parent's memory, he moved on quickly.

"Oh, well, how much do you know about them, then?"

She smiled, "I used to read the financial section in the paper. My father read the news, but had little interest in gossip or finances. He generally preferred his books."

"Well, shall you come have a look? I am curious as to what you know. I am always looking for someone to discuss these with, for ideas. If you are interested, I would very much like to hear your opinion."

Elizabeth rose and came around the desk. Darcy offered her his chair and she sat. She pulled the stack of papers toward her and then looked up to him.

"Is there a certain order to these? What do these documents contain? I would like to know what I am looking at."

Darcy sucked in a breath and felt his heart clench. The only other person to have sat there since his father had been his cousin, and Fitzwilliam only did so to irritate him. His study was his domain, and that chair was a place just for him, but she fit there. He never would have anticipated his desire to see her invade everything in his life. There was nowhere she did not belong.

He realised he had been staring at her silently while she waited patiently, her right eyebrow arching curiously at his silence.

"Ah, I am not sure...I had not really gotten far yet," he stuttered out. The combination of her presence and his actual ignorance due to earlier daydreaming had his mind fuddled.

Her left eyebrow joined her right, "Is this not what you were doing when I interrupted? Were you doing something else?"

His face flushed. "Nooooo," he drug out. It was not entirely a lie, he had not been doing anything but thinking of her.

She looked confused, and then said quietly, turning her face away from him, "If you do not wish to tell me what you were doing, I understand."

"It is not that," he hurried to say. He had not missed that she reacted the best when he had shared his thoughts with her, and he did not want to ruin the progress theyhad made by causing her to think he did not want to do so. "I should rephrase what I said. I was attempting to read the investments. I was...distracted."

"Distracted? Is that possible for you? If I recall correctly, Miss Bingley referred to your presence of mind as unteasable," she turned back to him with a sparkle in her eyes. "What could possibly cause your thoughts to fall out of line? Miss Bingley would be shocked!"

He responding quietly, "You."

Her cheeks reddened as she said, "Oh."

"That has become a common theme for me."

They watched each other in silence for a moment, and then his eyes dropped to her mouth. He saw her draw in a breath, and then she tilted her chin up slightly, as though offering her lips to him. His eyes flew up to hers for a split second to see warmth in them, and then he took the invitation she offered.

It was a slow, sweet kiss. As he pulled away, Darcy watched Elizabeth languidly open her eyes. There was no trembling, no hesitating. He smiled at her.

Elizabeth felt relief; Darcy had been acting strangely, and it had worried her. He had been opening up more toward her, but there was still much she did not understand about him. She was never sure if she was asking him to share more than he wanted to. That he was simply uncomfortable with his behavior made sense; he readily admitted to being fastidious, and distraction from his normal order would be disconcerting.

She returned his smile and said, "Well, then maybe it is best that I am here. You will be reviewing your investments as you teach me."

"Indeed."

They turned to the papers together, and spent the afternoon with Darcy teaching her everything about the investments. They moved from the current ones to speculation about new possibilities. It was very clear from their conversation that Darcy genuinely respected her opinions. It was so rare for her to carry a conversation with a man, other than her father and uncle, where she felt her intelligence was not in question due to her sex. It was delightful.

Darcy continued to be fascinated by his new wife. Elizabeth was intelligent and she could express what she wished with ease. He truly wished to hear her insight, but he did not miss the unintended effect on her. She was glowing with delight and was more animated than he had seen her since their wedding. Her eyes were sparkling, and she began to gently tease him again. He was gratified by the return of her teasing. To him that was the clearest indicator of her comfort and happiness.

Charles Bingley was not a man good at confrontation. He was uncomfortable with argument, and often times looked for the quickest way out of it, rather than the actual best resolution. He knew that as a result, he was often taken advantage of. He hated to admit it to himself, but his sister Caroline could be the worst offender there. He had put this conversation off for too many days already, and it needed to happen. He had not visited Jane since she had shared where her feelings stood, and he did not feel right calling again until he had made some progress with his sister. It had been six days, and his desire to see her finally outweighed his dread of dealing with Caroline.

He had requested the use of his brother Hurst's study for the discussion he needed to have with Caroline, and now he was fortifying himself for what was to come. He might not fight her on this if it only affected him, but she had hurt too many people he cared about, and her attitude toward Darcy and the Bennets needed to change. He closed his eyes and thought about beautiful Jane, remembering that he wanted to prove to her that he could be his own man, a man she could learn to lean on. He needed to remember that over the course of this impending conversation, to keep him strong.

Miss Bingley entered the study with a disinterested air. "Charles, what is this about?" she demanded.

"Caroline, you have hurt several people I care about over the past few months. Your behavior has strained relationships. I hold these relationships dear, and I need to know if you feel remorse, and if you will apologise," he said firmly.

She waved her hand indifferently, "Please, if you are referring to dinner at the Darcys', I did not say anything that people did not already know, or should not expect. If certain unfortunate people of our acquaintance did not think themselves so high, we would not be mingling with them, and they would not have heard truths they did not want to."

Bingley stared at his sister while he processed what she had said. Did she just say that it was not her fault for saying it, but rather their fault for hearing it? Did she really believe that?

His expression turned cool as he said, "So Darcy thinks himself too high, now?"

"Of course not!" she replied sharply.

"Well, by your explanation, the insults he heard were his fault for having been there."

She turned her eyes to the windows as she said, "I did not insult him, it was those Bennets. They did not deserve to be there."

Bingley found himself growing truly angry. It was a rare feeling for him, and it made his voice shake.

"Caroline, 'those Bennets' as you call them, are now Darcy's family. He was already engaged to Mrs. Darcy when you said those things. What had you hoped to accomplish? Your only real result is going to be getting yourself cut off from Pemberley forever."

"I am sure that Mr. Darcy will forget about this over time. He will not cut me, he holds your friendship too high," she said calmly.

"You forget, sister, that Darcy himself admitted to implacable resentment. You insulted his wife, a woman he loves very much. I do not think he will simply forget."

She continued to silently stare out the window.

"Caroline, if you do not apologise, I will need to inform the Darcys that you regretfully decline their invitation to Pemberley in August."

She looked horrified, "Charles, you would not!"

Bingley sighed, "I do not wish for discord between our families. Darcy is one of my oldest friends, and, if she will have me, I still hope to marry Mrs. Darcy's sister. I do not think you will want to be excluded from all future invitations between our families, but I will do it if you cannot change your attitude toward them."

Caroline desperately latched onto his comment about pursuing Jane, "You do not still hold on to that ridiculous idea that Jane Bennet loves you? Really Charles, she is not worth the effort."

"Jane Bennet is one of the sweetest, kindest women I have ever met, and I love her. I have it on very good authority that, had I not abandoned her over the winter, we would already be engaged, if not married. She was in love with me, and now I need to figure out how to get that back. I need to know that you will not interfere in this."

She sat quietly with a pinched look on her face.

"Please tell me that you will not interfere in my happiness, Caroline. I want to believe that you can treat the Bennet and Darcy families with kindness and respect. It is not your place to decide who deserves anything. Darcy and I have made our choices, and if you truly care about us, you would respect those choices as our friend and sister."

He could see her lips pressing tightly together, but she did not respond.

"Caroline?"

"What do they have that I do not?" she asked. "I do not understand. I have a fortune, connections, formal education, and my manners are more refined. How did they manage to attract the attention of two of the best men I know? How did I lose Darcy to a woman without any of those things that I have? I do not understand!"

Bingley sighed, and walked over to his sister's seat. "Caroline," he said quietly, kneeling next to her, "it is not all about your credentials. If Darcy is like me, then he just felt a connection to her. If he did not feel that with you, no matter how you tried, then there was nothing you could do about it. He wanted to marry for love, and fortune and standing were of a lesser importance to him."

"Why did he no feel attracted to me? Charles, I am sure, as his closest friend, you knew."

Bingley was taken aback, "Caroline, that ship has sailed, it does not really matter."

"I am aware that I cannot marry Mr. Darcy anymore," she said testily. "I want to know what is wrong with me. Just tell me."

"I do not know that there is anything really wrong with you Caroline -"

"Would you for once in your life just say the uncomfortable thing, Charles? Quit trying to break it to me nicely and just tell me. I have never been pursued in the way that Jane and Eliza Bennet have been. What is it about me that is deficient?"

"Well, you can be a little difficult to approach...your personality is not very inviting?" he finished uncomfortably.

"I am cold."

Bingley sighed. "I think that perhaps your expectations of acceptable society are too high. Caroline, you have enough of a fortune that most of the gentlemen you have been introduced to would be able combine it with theirs to provide you with a very comfortable life. You have pushed many of them away, however, in your pursuit of Darcy. Most men do not take well to being shoved aside for something better. Perhaps you could look for a man who you would get along with first, and consider his fortune second. I want you to be happy."

She sat quietly for a minute, absorbing what he had told her. She did not think she could bring herself to ever like the new Mrs. Darcy, she found her personality grating, but Jane Bennet would not make a bad sister. If she could satisfy Charles and Mr. Darcy in her treatment of their ladies, she would prove to herself that she was capable of being warmer. If gentlemen wanted warmth, she would display warmth.

She would have wished for higher for her brother, but with the Bennets' new connection to the Darcys, it would not be so bad. Besides, invitations to the Darcys' homes would throw her into the path of other wealthy men. She might be expanding her horizons, but she still planned to marry very well.

"I will apologise to Jane Bennet and the Darcys. I would like to renew my friendship with Miss Bennet, if she will have me."

Bingley grinned, "I am glad. I knew you were able."

He stood and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Would you like me to arrange a visit with each of them?"

She grimaced, uncomfortable as it may be, she would rather get it over with.

"Yes, please."

"Excellent."

A few days after their lunch in his study, Darcy finished off his duties for the day early, and went in search of his wife. Ever since she had brought him lunch, they had been more willing to drop in on each other during the day. Darcy found this helped his level of distraction. If he could not stop thinking of his wife, he would simply seek her out and spend a little time with her, and then he could return to his normal focus.

He walked through the house looking for her, and when he could not find her, went to Mrs. Rowley's office. His wife was often found there, chatting with their housekeeper about the household.

He knocked on the door and poked his head in, surprised to find she was not there, either. "Mrs. Rowley, do you know where Mrs. Darcy is?"

"I believe she was heading to the library when we finished up about an hour ago."

He thanked her and went back to the library. He thought it strange that he had not seen Elizabeth there when he had walked through it earlier.

Darcy entered and looked toward the sitting area, but unsurprisingly did not find his wife there. He could not see her by any of the shelves, either. He went toward a few of them that ran into the room, wondering if she had become lost in a book while sitting on the floor. It would not be unexpected.

He rounded the edge of a shelf, and his heart dropped at the sight. His wife was sitting on the floor with a small pile of books in front of her. She had a book held tightly to her chest, and she was gently rocking back and forth, weeping silently. It had been clearly happening for some time, as he could see the wetness gathering on the bodice of her grey dress.

"Elizabeth?" he asked gently, approaching her. "What is the matter?"

Elizabeth snapped her head up, startled. She quickly began wiping her face with a hand, trying to clear the tears away, but losing the battle against the ones still flowing. Darcy came and knelt beside her and offered her his handkerchief. She took it and mostly dried her face, still not setting the book she held down.

"Elizabeth, are you well?" Darcy asked, concern in his voice.

"I...I...no!" she finally answered. "I am sorry."

"You do not need to apologise for crying," he replied, as he reached out his hand to touch her arm. She did not shy away from him, which gave him hope that these tears were not a result of something he had done, or even simply his existence. "Will you tell me what has upset you so?"

She nodded her head and then took a few shuddering breaths, trying to collect herself.

"I was looking through books, and stumbled across a copy of the last one that Papa and I had read together. It reminded me of his book room, and all of the books that are there. When he liked a book well enough to reread it, he would make notes on the pages and mark particular passages. I know," she took another deep breath, "I know that it irritates some to have writing all over their books, but I loved to read a book he had done that to and see his thoughts and what was important to him." She showed him the book that was in her arms, "This book was the last one he did that to. I miss him so much," she finished in a tortured whisper.

"Oh Elizabeth," Darcy said. He sat down on the floor next to her and crossed his legs. He gently lifted her and set her on his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I am so sorry," he said into her hair.

"The worst part is that those all belong to Mr. Collins now. I am sad that I may never get to see them again, and scared that he will throw them all out when he sees how marked up they are. It is unlikely that he will not find them soon, since Papa put them all on the shelf closest to his desk. I would love to have them all, but in his resentment, I am afraid if I ask for them he will say no just to spite."

Darcy continued to hold her, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words, while his mind worked quickly to figure out how he could get the books for her. He waited for her to settle some before he spoke again.

"Do you really think he resents your family that much?"

"Not my family, me."

"Because you married me?" Darcy asked in confusion, not really believing it, but not able to come to any other conclusion. Perhaps it was out of deference to his aunt.

"No, because I would not marry him."

"What?!" Darcy asked.

Elizabeth pulled her head back to look at him, "I suppose you do not know, do you? He asked me to marry him the morning after the Netherfield ball, and I refused. He did not take it very well."

"He thought that a woman like you would ever condescend to marry a blundering fool like him?" Darcy asked in shock.

She gave him a small smile, "He was the heir to our home. He assumed that his position over us would make me grateful enough to say yes, regardless of my feelings. It did not matter to him that we were completely incompatible. He was rather unaccepting of my answer, and my father had to side with me to make him understand. I believe he feels quite insulted that I would not even consider him."

"He did not fancy himself in love with you?"

"He said he was in his proposal, but I am sure he had no real feelings for me. He was simply looking for a wife, and assumed he could have his pick of our household. Jane was protected by Bingley's interest, and I am the next eldest. He became engaged to Charlotte a mere two days later, professing love to her, and she only married him to escape eternal spinsterhood. At the time I did not have any doubt about refusing him, but it did cross my mind, in those few weeks after my father's death that perhaps I had been too hasty. I would have been protecting my family's future. I simply did not think that future would come to pass so soon."

Darcy was thoughtful for a minute before he said, "I was not much better, was I? I really loved you, but I disbelieved your answer at first, and assumed my position and fortune were enough to garner your acceptance without ever courting you. No wonder you regretted refusing him, even though you had my proposal. I was a blundering fool, too."

He looked away uncomfortably as he said the last, but Elizabeth reached up and turned his face back to her.

"Fitzwilliam, I never considered you a fool. I resented you at first, when you offered for me again, because I did not want to have to make a decision. I wondered about my refusal of him rather uselessly, as it was not an option any more, but I was rather desperate and scared. Believe me, he and Charlotte were at Longbourn for less than two days before it became quite clear to me that I would have strangled him had I married him. He is a blundering fool." She watched the wretched look on his face for a moment before she added firmly, "Looking back at my decision to marry you, I can say definitively that I have no regrets."

He could see that she meant it, and it brought such a sense of relief to him. It was the closest she had ever come to admitting she cared for him. He gathered her back to him and buried his face in her hair. He loved this woman so much. He would figure out how to get those books for her, even if he had to pay a fortune for them.

Bingley called on Jane at the Gardiners' the very afternoon after his chat with his sister. He was impatient to bring about a reconciliation between his sister and his love. He did not waste time after their greetings.

"Miss Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner, I would like your permission to bring my sister Caroline with me to call on you tomorrow. She has expressed a wish to apologise for her poor treatment of you this winter and for speaking rudely of Mrs. Darcy. Would it be too much to ask for you to accept her call and hear her?" he asked anxiously.

Mrs. Gardiner was not quite able to hide her shock, and Bingley felt the embarrassment of his sister's treatment of her. He did not miss the suspicious look that crossed her face, but she did not speak of it. Jane did not show a reaction, but she was silent as well, so he assumed she was not sure how to react.

"I have spoken with her at length, and she is truly remorseful for having been rude. She expressed a wish to renew her friendship with you, Miss Bennet. I believe she is being genuine."

"I would like to try and reconcile with Miss Bingley, if she wishes it," Jane finally replied.

"We will hear her out, Mr. Bingley," added Mrs. Gardiner.

Bingley was visibly relieved. Mrs. Gardiner felt for him, needing to confront his sister. She had gathered that he was very averse to conflict, and it must have been difficult for him.

He took his leave shortly after, having spent the whole visit watching Jane wistfully. She had not yet warmed to him, and he had to remind himself to be patient with her and her feelings.

After he was gone, Mrs. Gardiner spoke of her earlier thoughts to her niece, "That must have been very hard for him, to confront his sister about her behavior. Based on her prior actions, I have a feeling he has not done that often before."

"Do you think she is genuinely sorry?" asked Jane. She disliked the feeling of distrust she had toward Miss Bingley, but she did not want to be taken in again. She knew that Mr. Bingley was just as guilty as her of seeing the best in people.

"We shall see tomorrow, but if she cares about her brother's happiness, then it is very possible. He may have told her how much her actions hurt him. I am not particularly fond of her, but she would have a sister's feelings. Do you think you will be able to read her genuineness?"

"I do not know. I wish Lizzy would be here. She knew Caroline nearly as well as I did, and she is less trusting."

"I assume that Miss Bingley will be required to apologise to her as well. We can visit Lizzy after it happens, and see if she thinks so."

Jane agreed to the plan.

"How does this impact your view of Mr. Bingley, dear?"

"I should like to see how his sister acts tomorrow, but I agree with you that it would have been difficult for him to confront her. I am glad that it shows he can do the difficult thing when required."

"It does. Hopefully he can keep this resolve."

Jane smiled faintly in agreement.

A/N: RL is beginning to intrude, and I want to warn you that I will be completing chapters at a slower pace. I will finish this story, and intend to continue working on it while RL is crazy, but I may only be able to update 2-3 times a month now. It's been hard to get the last 2 out, and I don't want to rush to the point where I'm dissatisfied with the result.

As always, THANK YOU for your reviews and support.