The Joys of Parenthood

Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic, so I'll be using my go-to MPREG explanation like I did in When We're Older aka the Reddin gene. The gene is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie Junior. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything mentioned in this except for the crazy storyline so... I OWN NOTHING.

[PROMPT: Kurt has a bit of a breakdown involving his worry about cravings and other pregnancy changes.]

"Kurt? Honey, I got the burger you asked for! Are you in the-"

Blaine stopped short in the doorway, the words sticking to his tongue as he took in the sheer amount of shiny candy wrappers that littered the dining room floor. From the table to the polished hardwood floors were golden papers that had been opened, the chocolate inside eaten, and then left wherever they'd been dropped. It was a strange sight. Kurt wasn't a messy person by any means, but this... this was out of this world strange.

"Kurt? Sweetie, where are you?"

Carefully, he laid the bag of McDonalds down on the table and then began to follow the trail of wrappers, stepping over them as he crept into the kitchen where the unwrapped packages led. There, sitting on the floor with an empty bag of assorted Hershey's chocolate was Kurt, one hand on his stomach while the other wiped away tears from his face.

"Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

"Do you see this?" Kurt whimpered, taking his hand off of his bump to point at the pile of eaten chocolate wrappers. A few were sitting on his lap and there was a smear of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. He looked adorable. However, despite how cute Blaine thought he looked, Kurt must've thought otherwise because he instantly started to cry, dropping his head into his hands as he sobbed. "I d-don't know w-what happened!"

Blaine dropped to his knees, ignoring the crunch of paper beneath his shins as he crawled across the floor and pulled Kurt into his arms. "What do you mean, baby? What is it?"

"The chocolate! One minute I went to get one to eat and- and then I was eating the whole bag and I couldn't stop! I don't even know how it happened! I grabbed the bag out of the candy jar on the table and I came in here to get something to drink and then I realized that I'd eaten all of them! We just bought that bag, Blaine! We just got that this morning at the store and it's gone already. Gone!"

The tears started up again and Blaine pursed his lips together, struggling not to snicker or giggle at his husband's dramatic (yet entirely hormonal) tendencies. Ever since they found out Kurt was pregnant and he started taking the vitamins and hormone shots he needed to have a healthy baby, it was like a completely new version of him (Kurt Hummel-Anderson 2.0 as Santana liked to say) came out and took over every once in a while. But no matter what, Blaine thought he was the most amazing and precious thing ever; he loved Kurt in every way possible and this hormonal version of his husband was the cutest damn thing. Cooing, he rubbed his cheek against Kurt's hair and hugged him closer, letting the man cry it out before he finally let him go and sat back. "Feel better now?"

"I just wish I wasn't such a cow sometimes!"

"You're not a-"

"I feel like one! One minute I'm tired, the next I'm hungry, then I want to go for a walk, and then I want to sleep again! It's tiring, Blaine! Pregnancy is exhausting!"

"I know, sweetheart," he tried to soothe, cowering a little under the glare that Kurt shot at him. "But just think about it. In about two months, we'll have the most adorable little one to spoil and this will have all been worth it. All the chocolate and burgers and midnight cravings for cranberry sauce-"

"The kind in the can."

"Yeah, the creepy gross gelatinous kind that comes in a can... it'll all be worth it once she's here and she's healthy because you took good care of your body and did what it asked you to do."

"So you don't think I'm gross?" Kurt asked, glancing up through his eyelashes as he slowly began scooping up the papers he'd dropped on the floor. Blaine held open the empty bag while Kurt dumped the small piles inside.

"I think you're the most amazing human being on the planet and I love you no matter what you eat or how you eat it."

"So you're not gonna judge me when I go in there and shove that whole double quarter pounder in my face?"

"Nope."

"And you don't care that I have acne because I-"

"If you didn't notice, Kurt, everyone gets pimples. You're pregnant; your hormones are a hot mess right now and if you get pimples because of that, it won't make me love you any less. In fact, it makes me love you more because you're dealing with all this crazy stuff happening to your body in order to bring our child into the world and that's so... so admirable to me." His rambling cut off when Kurt leaned forward and kissed him fully, smiling against his husband's lips as they pulled apart. "God, Kurt, I love you."

"I love you too. You're so good to me."

"Pff. Please. You are good to me." To punctuate that fact, Blaine placed his hands on Kurt's rounded stomach, leaning down to kiss the swell of belly before he popped back up and kissed Kurt again. "Okay, hun, how about we forget about these stupid candy wrappers and go eat our McDonalds before it gets all cold and gross?"

"Hmm, you're probably right. Cold fries do suck."

"That they do and I did run here to make sure everything stayed warm enough for us to enjoy."

"Oh, you are the best. And did you get-"

"Your sweet and sour sauce to dip your burger in? Yep. I also got you one of those strawberry cream pies you love so much."

"Best. Husband. Ever." Kurt murmured, wrapping his arms around Blaine to hug him tightly. When he stepped back, he rolled his eyes and stomped all over a few of the remaining wrappers, speeding off into the dining room to dish out the food inside. Blaine followed suit, smiling happily as he watched his husband immediately begin to dig into his french fries, moans of satisfaction slipping from his lips as he shoved several into his mouth. "So good."

"Glad you like them. Eat up, baby. You and Miss Spencer enjoy those fries. I'm gonna clean up." With that, the younger man began to sweep up the rest of the mess that Kurt left throughout the two rooms and while he did so, Kurt sat down at the table, dipping his fries and burger into several opened containers of sweet and sour sauce. As he licked away the tasty condiment from his fingers, he took his other hand and pressed it to his stomach, smiling when his daughter kicked away at his palm.

It might've been crazy: the whole pregnancy ordeal and everything with its ridiculous cravings, stupid weight gain, and god awful skin issues, but in the end, he was sure it would be worth it... and if he got spoiled in the long run, well... that was pretty awesome too.

A/N: I need to write more mpreg!Kurt. Like, honestly.