(20)
Charlotte Collins sat down in her western-facing sitting room, the one Mr. Collins had no use for, and set herself to her correspondence. Mrs. Bennet and her younger daughters were at their new home, deciding what needed to be done to ready it for them. Charlotte would never say it out loud, but she was very glad the Bennets were able to find a place of their own so soon.
She saw that Jane Bennet had written her, and she was curious as to how London was treating the two oldest Bennet daughters. Elizabeth had sent her a quick letter shortly after marrying, but Charlotte imagined she was rather too busy to write much yet.
When she opened the letter, she was surprised to see another note enclosed within it, with Mrs. Collins written in a neat, but clearly masculine hand, on it. She read Jane's note first, hoping for a clue as to the enclosure. She was not disappointed. Jane wrote of Elizabeth apparent increasing happiness and all of their growing comfort with the Darcy family. She briefly mentioned seeing more of the Bingleys, but Charlotte could glean nothing of Jane's feelings for Mr. Bingley from it. Finally, at the end of the later, Jane mentioned the extra note.
My new brother has asked that I include a note from him, as he has a request for you. I have not read the note itself, but I know of its contents. Please help him if you can, I believe it will go a long way toward he and Lizzy's happiness.
Charlotte was even more curious now. Clearly Mr. Darcy was becoming quite comfortable with Elizabeth's family, if he was willing to ask Jane for this. She opened the envelope from Mr. Darcy and a ten pound note fell out.
Madam,
I must beg your pardon for my disregarding propriety in writing to you, I assure you that nothing but Elizabeth's happiness would cause me to intrude on you in such a manner.
I find that you and your husband have in your possession books of the highest importance to my wife. She speaks of her late father's favorites, volumes that he had written notes in and shared with her. They carry special significance for her in the memory of her father. I understand that they were kept on the shelf closest to the desk in his bookroom. I wish to acquire these books for her, and am willing to pay handsomely for them.
I am contacting you, rather than Mr. Collins, due to your favorable relationship with my wife and his, for lack of a better descriptor, unfavorable history with her. I am not asking you to deceive him in any way, but rather I am looking for your guidance in how to obtain them.
If you are able to send them without further intervention on my part, I have included ten pounds to pay for the transportation of the books to Pemberley and as a starting payment for their worth. Please include their value above that amount in the shipment, and you will paid promptly.
I anxiously await your response, regardless of the outcome.
Thank you for your time.
Respectfully,
F.D.
Charlotte sat quietly for a few minutes, contemplating her options. She wanted to help her dear friend have a happy marriage. She did not begrudge Elizabeth her happiness in any way, and if she could promote that happiness, she would. Her own husband would not want the books themselves, and as long as he was paid fairly for them, he would be satisfied. She quickly decided that he did not need to know the specific buyer. She rose and walked determinedly out the sitting room door.
"Mr. Collins, may I have a word?" she asked as she entered his study.
"Certainly, my dear Charlotte! But please, make it short, as I have much work to do. A landed gentleman always does, especially when he inherits an estate as neglected as mine."
"That is what I wished to speak with you about. You have mentioned that there are many books in here that you will be required to dispose of, and I am wondering if I may help you with that. You must ride out so often to keep a good account of the estate that you do not have much time left for anything else. If you like, I could sort through the books and sell the novels and others that you have no use for."
"What an excellent idea, my dear! You know me so well, we are so like-minded, that you will know precisely what I would wish to dispose of. What a model wife! Always looking out for ways to make her husband's life easier. Precisely as it should be, my dear. You do not have nearly the work to do that I do. Why, even Lady Catherine would have to acknowledge the brilliant choice I made when I married you. I need to ride out this afternoon, so you may begin shortly."
"Yes, we would not want you to neglect the -"
"Heavens!" interrupted Mr. Collins, "I could never neglect my estate after having Lady Catherine's excellent example. One must be aware of every detail of the happenings on one's property. Even she could have nothing to say against my management, I am sure. I am very attentive to these things, you know. Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to these books so that I may ride out later."
"Thank you, Dear," she said, as though he was doing her the favour, and left him to his work.
She would never say it out loud, as she had been satisfied with her life at the parsonage, but she was ecstatic over the diligence Mr. Collins showed his estate. He was continuously riding out on the property to check up on and advise the tenants as to the best course. If he was not found riding his property, he was busy in his study, keeping his books. If those pursuits ran out, he had a plethora of gardens to oversee. She generally saw him at breakfast and dinner, spent one hour in his presence in the evening, while he usually read, and then his weekly visits to her rooms. All in all, it was quite tolerable.
Charlotte spent the next two afternoons in Mr. Collins' study, carefully sorting through the books found there. She neatly emptied the shelf nearest his desk, filling two crates in the process. She sorted through the remaining shelves, removing all of the novels and refilling the shelves next to the desk with agricultural and religious texts. She made a pile of ones she thought the Bennet family would wish to have, another to take to her own shelf in her room, and the rest she boxed up to take to town. She arranged shipment of the two crates along with a letter to Pemberley.
When she handed over the proceeds from the sale of the novels and the remainder of the ten pounds after paying for shipping, Mr. Collins was delighted. He could not believe anyone would pay so much for a bunch of worthless novels and books that had been defaced, but he was not going to complain over his good fortune. Mrs. Collins returned to her normal duties, quite satisfied that everyone one was better off for the arrangement.
The Darcys and Miss Bennet left Darcy House on the first Thursday of July. They had spent Wednesday evening at the Gardiner home for dinner, with Jane moving to Darcy House for the night. They left just after dawn in order to have time for an extended stop in Hertfordshire at the Bennets' new home.
When they arrived in Meryton after a sleepy start, Elizabeth teased Darcy into leaving the coach and horses at the inn and walking the mile out of town to the cottage.
"Mrs. Darcy I may be, but I hope I am never too good to walk a mile on a country road when it is more convenient for everyone else. My mother's house will not be ready to care for horses yet, since they will have none themselves. It is better to leave them in the capable care of the inn for an extended rest. Unless, of course, you are not up to walking a mile each way, Sir," she finished with a bit of a challenge in her eyes.
"Oh Brother, please!" added Georgiana with excitement. "The walk will stretch us out. Besides, I have not been to Hertfordshire before, outside of a carriage, and I would like to see more of the area where Lizzy grew up."
"Lizzy can point out all of the trees she has climbed along the way, too," added Jane, causing Elizabeth to look at her in surprise. It was not like her sister to bring up improper behaviour in public.
"They are your family now, Lizzy, and if you are going to tease Mr. Darcy about being a snob, he should be allowed to tease you about being a hoyden."
"Jane Bennet, are you defending your new brother to me?" Elizabeth gave Darcy a long look, "And what, Sir, have you done to earn such loyalty?"
It was Darcy's turn to smirk, "Perhaps she feels sorry for me, having to take the brunt of your teasing now."
"As if you mind it," Elizabeth muttered quietly, which caused Darcy's smirk to widen to a full grin.
"If your new husband has not figured them out by now, I think we should make sure he is well aware of your wild ways. It would not do for him to be startled by them later, when he catches you in the act."
"Jane Bennet, I have not climbed a tree in the last year at least," Elizabeth replied, laughing. "Keep it up and I will ask you how tea went with the Bingleys. Let us see how you like having the teasing turned on you."
"Caroline was very pleasant, and I believe Aunt Gardiner would agree. There is not much else to tell. I see what you are doing, trying to deflect the conversation. We are going to walk past the Smiths', perhaps we should take a side trip to their pond."
"Really, you are going to scandalise my new sister," Elizabeth replied with a reddening countenance. She turned and took Georgiana's arm, "Georgiana, you will not turn on me with them, I am sure. Come, they can be terrible together, we shall leave them behind."
She nearly drug a giggling Georgiana along, with her head held high, feigning indignance. Darcy let out a laugh, and Jane smiled, taking his offered arm and following.
"Has she truly climbed trees as recently as a year ago?" he asked Jane. "I had not thought her serious when she said that previously. What is this about a pond?"
Jane smiled wider and said, "Oh, I am quite sure she was serious. Having to climb a tree would not get in the way of Lizzy getting the view she most wishes to see, nor finding the best apple. As for the pond, you will need to ask her about it yourself. "
Darcy watched his wife walking ahead of him with disbelief on his face for a full minute before he muttered, "That ought to be interesting."
"Do not be surprised if you do see her in a tree. Life with Lizzy will always be an adventure," Jane replied affectionately.
"That spirit is what makes your sister so special, is it not?"
"It is."
"Miss Bennet?"
"Yes, Mr. Darcy?"
"I would like to thank you for being so welcoming of me, when you have every right to hate me. You are very kind."
Jane was quiet for a while before she replied, "You make Lizzy happy, as I have said. It is important to me that we can be friends, even if only for her sake. I think we can simply be friends, though. I do enjoy your company. I know that you genuinely believed you were doing right by Mr. Bingley. I do not think you are a bad man, Mr. Darcy, perhaps only very used to being right." She smiled, "Lizzy will challenge that."
"Of that I have no doubt."
The group arrived at the Bennet cottage with smiles and wonderful moods, especially considering that they had traveled for several hours already that morning.
Mrs. Bennet was thrilled to see them, and welcomed them with all of her expected noise and over-solicitation. She was happy to have her own home again, and she was quite content to overlook their diminished circumstances. She understood that Mr. Darcy was giving her back a standard of living and independence that she would never have obtained on her own, and she was genuinely grateful for it.
Their sitting room was still sparsely furnished, as the housewarming gifts from the Darcys had not been delivered yet. Still, they all found a place to sit for the short time they could stay. Mrs. Bennet was back in her glory, sharing all of the juicy news of the happenings since her return from London. It was not often she had two daughters to fill in with weeks of gossip.
Much to Elizabeth's happiness, Darcy was relaxed and pleasant with her mother. He seemed to have adjusted to her while she had been in London, and was no longer startled by her outbursts of feeling. She was anxious for Darcy's comfort, and when he did not appear to need her help, she was able to relax and enjoy her time with her family.
Kitty and Mary still had an aura of sadness about them; Mary being impenetrably grave and Kitty no longer agreeing with Lydia in everything. Elizabeth felt for her sisters and vowed to think more of their comfort and happiness and stop dwelling so much on her own. They were younger than her and had lost their father as well, and they had no one of sense to lean on.
Lydia was not carrying sadness with her, however. She was instead resentful that she had missed out on the fun of going to Brighton, and cared not for the fact that they were mourning. She had felt mostly ignored by their father, therefore felt his loss the least. For her, his being gone simply equaled the end of her fun.
When she complained for the third or fourth time about not being in Brighton, Mrs. Bennet finally responded, "Heavens child, it is not like you can travel in all black on a pleasure trip. We all feel sorry that you have to miss out, but it just would not be proper. You are young, you will have plenty of opportunities, especially with Lizzy married now. What is Brighton when you will have London?"
"Who cares about dirty old London when you could have sea bathing and officers in their handsome red coats? Lizzy getting married was not proper, either, but she got to do that," Lydia responded petulantly.
Darcy cringed at this reminder to Elizabeth that she had not married for her own pleasure. He forced himself to look at her and saw that she was giving him a rueful smile. She reached over and gave Darcy's hand a squeeze before she replied to her sister.
"Lydia, you know perfectly well that marrying quickly was the best option. Did you really want to remain entirely under Mr. Collins' protection? For myself, I much prefer my husband's, as it is a much safer place to be. I shall always be grateful that Mr. Darcy was willing to marry me so quickly for all of our sakes."
Elizabeth felt Darcy relax next to her, and then reach out and brush his fingers across her hand in return. She was gratified that he was pleased with her response. She only wished he need not be exposed to Lydia's crass remarks.
"But you get to have fun! I saw you walking up, you were all gay as can be. You get to travel, and so does Jane, and she is still in black. Why can I not?"
Elizabeth sighed. There really was no reasoning with Lydia when she was set on something.
"I am traveling to my new home, not on a pleasure tour. Jane is with me because she is my eldest sister; it is perfectly normal for her. Please do not begrudge us the happiness we were finding in the moment. Believe me, I have been somber enough in recent months. We all miss our father," she finished a little sharply.
Lydia harrumphed at that, but said no more.
The Darcy party only stayed for about an hour, wanting to travel to the family's normal overnight stop on their way that day. It was a three day trip, and while they were all pleasant together in the well-sprung coach, it was a long journey.
After leaving the Bennets' new home, the ladies quickly fell asleep. They had been up much earlier than they were accustomed, and with the excitement of setting off on the journey and seeing their mother's new home worn off, exhaustion crept in.
Darcy could not allow himself to nod off yet. He was contemplating the woman who was resting against him so comfortably with her head on his shoulder. His wife had grown much more at ease with him over these first few weeks of their marriage. She was no longer startled by his touch, could sit close to him without apprehension, and had even ceased trembling when he kissed her. He was beginning to think that if he pressed her, she would happily and without reservation become his wife in every way.
What irony, then, that he was the one hesitating. It was by far not from a lack of desire; he had that for her in abundance. Simply having her pressed up against his arm like she was made him feel warmer. Rather, it was from the wish to have her declare her love for him first. He had thought it would be enough for her to treat him with kindness and caring, but it was not. His confidence that she would, and perhaps already did subconsciously, love him, made him crave hearing her say it even more. She showed that she genuinely cared for him, she sought him out, and had even said she wanted to love him, but it was not enough.
He had told her that he understood that she was in mourning and new to the idea of loving him. What he had not told her was how incredibly difficult it was for him to remember that. His yearning left a painful ache in his chest.
Darcy thought back to his Aunt Fitzwilliam's warning, that he could spend a lifetime pining for something he would never have. He had told her then that he knew he could not make Elizabeth love him, but he had never really stopped believing that she would. It was the waiting for it that hurt so much.
Elizabeth shifted, whispered his name, and slipped her arm about his waist. Darcy held very still for a moment, waiting to see if she was still asleep. When her breathing continued to be even, he relaxed. He leaned his head back, enjoying the feeling of his wife's touch. He eventually drifted off himself, leaving his trying thoughts for another time.
The rest of the day was long, but not unpleasant. The four of them shared quiet companionship; sometimes carrying on discussions and debates, and sometimes each reading quietly.
Elizabeth felt awkward when they stopped for the night and Darcy was careful to ask that the rooms his man had come ahead to reserve contained the requested suite. She felt as though everybody was watching and knew she had never shared a bed with her husband. She was grateful that he had not questioned doing so, even if it was somewhat extravagant. She would have dealt with it if she needed to, but did not relish their first night in the same bed being on the road, and at a strange inn.
Travel on the second day was much the same as the first, and thankfully for Elizabeth the second night saw no crowding, either. Sooner than she thought possible, it was toward the end of the third day, and their coach was approaching the last hill before Pemberley. Georgiana began to chatter in excitement, happy to be coming home.
Darcy reached his hand out to hold Elizabeth's in anticipation of her seeing their home for the first time. He had been sure that a woman who loved to walk in nature as much as herself would be pleased with Pemberley, but found himself nervous nonetheless. It meant a great deal to him that she would be happy here.
He was not to be disappointed, if her first impression held. They crested the final hill, and he felt her squeeze his hand.
"Oh, Fitzwilliam," she breathed. "Your home is magnificent!"
"Our home," he gently corrected. "You like what you see, then?"
"It is perfect! So well situated, and so natural. It just fits there, between the trees, hills, and lake!"
"I agree. I am glad you approve."
"Who would not approve?" she whispered, to which Darcy simply smiled.
When they arrived, they were greeted by a veritable army of servants lead by a kind, but clearly formidable, Mrs. Reynolds. Elizabeth had the distinct feeling that nothing went awry on her watch. She and Jane were introduced to the staff in principal positions in the household, the butler, Giles; Cook, who was not French, and a few others.
"I felt it best to wait until you have rested before beginning the remaining introductions, as there are a few," said Mrs. Reynolds.
Elizabeth laughed, "A few, yes. I am glad you are waiting. I am too tired to remember everyone, and I would not want to confuse them all from the beginning. I agree that it will be easier to begin tomorrow."
She looked around the hall and asked, "Is this everyone, then?"
"Nearly," Darcy answered.
"They all wished to see the new Mrs. Darcy, I hope you do not mind," added Mrs. Reynolds.
"Not at all. I can understand the curiosity, I am a curious soul myself."
If Mrs. Reynolds' expression was anything to go by, she was quite pleased with her new mistress already.
"Would you like to see your rooms now, Mrs. Darcy?"
"I would, I think a rest is in order for all of us. We have a few hours before dinner, I presume?"
"Dinner can be whenever you wish. Cook has planned a simple fare that needs little warning to serve."
"I am glad to hear it." She turned to her companions to confirm that they would all be ready to dine three hours hence, and was disconcerted by the intense look Darcy had on his face while watching her. She lost her thoughts for a moment before gathering herself, giving him a questioning glance in return, and turning back to Mrs. Reynolds.
"You can tell Cook that we will eat in three hours, that way she will know when to have things prepared. I do not wish to be difficult on my first evening here."
"It is no difficulty, but I will tell her." She turned to Darcy and asked, "Would you prefer I show the ladies their rooms, or do you wish to?"
"I will take Mrs. Darcy. Miss Bennet, will you allow Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds to show you to your rooms?"
Jane agreed, and they moved to the stairs and up to the family wing. Darcy and Elizabeth left Mrs. Reynolds and their sisters and moved further down the hall. Darcy stopped before a large set of double doors and swung them open. He led her in and closed the doors behind them.
Elizabeth could see that this suite was set similarly to the one in town, with the sitting room they were in and the doors leading off of each side, which she assumed were their bedrooms. While they were set up the same, the view from Pemberley was incomparable.
"Oh, Fitzwilliam," Elizabeth said quietly as she walked toward the nearly floor to ceiling windows that faced to the east. She could see formal gardens with walking paths leading out to rolling, grassy hills and woods. There was a door leading to a private balcony, and from it Elizabeth was certain they would be able to see the lake on the south side of the house.
She turned to look at her husband, "I cannot fathom this view being anything but glorious all year-round. As tired as I am, it pulls me to it. I want to go outside! I cannot wait to begin exploring all of those paths."
"I am glad you like it," he replied simply as he walked toward her. He had been watching her since they had arrived, first while she had so comfortably taken on her role as mistress with Mrs. Reynolds, and now while she showed delight for the home he had always held dear. He was not sure he could contain the feelings she was stirring within him.
"Would you like to see your room?" he asked, hoping that movement would distract him.
"Yes, please," she replied, while watching him curiously for a moment. He had been very subdued since they had arrived. More so than usual, even for him. She did not think he was particularly tired, and she began to wonder what was causing it.
Darcy led her to one of the doors and opened it for her, ushering her inside.
He gave her a moment to look around before he said, "As it was in London, anything you wish changed shall be done."
She continued to look around, moving across the room and taking in the size. She glanced towards the dressing room door, which was open, and saw the oversized bath inside and all of the space surrounding it.
The decor was out of date, but the furniture was of such high quality that it would never truly go out of style. It may not have been decorated in at least a decade, but Elizabeth could see that it had been well cared for.
Darcy, anxious in her silence, asked, "Does something not meet your approval?"
"You will have to excuse me. I am overwhelmed, and am trying not to act countrified."
"I do not understand," he replied coming closer to her.
"You do realise that you married a country girl of fairly simple means, do you not? I am quite certain that the largest common room at Longbourn would fit in here, and it is only my bedroom. I have never seen a tub of that size except in catalogues. I could go on."
"You need not hold back what you are thinking, I truly wish to know. I am glad you are pleased with your new home, but if there is something we can do to make you more comfortable, it will be done. I want you to be happy, Elizabeth."
Darcy moved close enough to touch her and reached out his hand to gently finger the hairs that had escaped when she had removed her bonnet.
"You keep saying that as though you would quite literally do anything on my whims. Shall I become a wasteful, useless flower, lounging all day in the luxury I surround myself with?"
"You, lazy? Hardly. You would go mad trying to pretend at it. I can safely tell you that I would do anything you desire because you are a rational creature."
"You would build a wall to shrink the room?"
"If that is what you wish, yes. Is that what you wish?" he asked, drawing his eyes from her hair to look into her own.
"No. That is hardly rational. I do not know what I want, this is all so much. What did I do to fall into all of this luxury? I do not think I deserve it."
He dropped his hand to her shoulder and leaned down to brush her neck with his lips as he replied, "Does anyone really 'deserve' luxury? We were lucky enough to be born into the right circumstances. This life is maintained through hard work; I too am incapable of continuous leisure, but I am aware enough of the way the world works to know that I am lucky to have the life I do."
Elizabeth leaned her head to the side to give him better access as he continued, "I try not to abuse it, though. We trade fair wages for honest work from our servants. Our tenants are cared for; no one is impoverished on our lands as long as they are willing to do their duty. Our bills are paid on time to tradesmen for their goods and labour. We do not squander our fortune."
He tugged at the sleeve of her dress to give a full view of that collarbone that he so adored and began running kisses along it. He smiled against her skin when he felt her shiver.
"I am covered in road dust and my dress must be filthy. How can you want to touch me like this?"
He pulled his head up then, and looked her in the eyes, "Because you are happy with the home I have to offer you, the place where you belong, and you take command of a situation as Mrs. Darcy as you should: like you belong here."
She let out a low laugh, and feeling bold said, "So my gushing over your home and ordering people about brings out your amorous mood?"
He captured her mouth with his own as his answer. When he pulled back, she kept speaking, "Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Darcy?"
"Is it working?"
She laughed again, a feeling of giddy happiness bubbling up inside of her, "You might want to keep philosophizing, it is helping your cause."
"And that, Mrs. Darcy, is why we are such a good match."
"Because we carry on a debate while you make love to me?"
"Because I adore your mind, and you just acknowledged that you reciprocate that feeling. Now hush."
He returned to kissing her in earnest, wrapping one arm around her and allowing the other hand to wander as he had not allowed it before. She returned his kisses in a delightfully passionate response, and he was beginning to think that her speaking words of love should not be a hindrance to them after all when he heard a noise followed by an "Oh!"
Darcy whipped his head up in time to see an embarrassed Nel retreating into the dressing room, and then he heard the servants' door close behind her. He turned back to see Elizabeth's slightly embarrassed face and sighed. He leaned down and kissed her firmly on the mouth.
"Perhaps we should change and rest. We have had a long few days, and I am sure you would wish to wash away the road dust while your bath is still warm."
"Are you certain?" she replied hesitantly, finding herself disappointed even in her embarrassment of being seen.
"Yes. Now is not the best time for this, and we will be alone again later."
He kissed her again and then left her. She stood watching the door he had exited for several minutes before she turned to her dressing room and found the bell to ring.
Nel knocked before she opened the door, and was apologetic immediately upon entering.
"Do not be upset, Nel. I appreciate you anticipating my needs, but perhaps it is best for you wait until I ring for you from now on."
That this had not been needed before was left unsaid. Elizabeth was sure that Nel knew she had yet to be bedded by her husband; it would be difficult to hide that fact from a personal maid.
They were both quiet while Elizabeth bathed and put on a dressing gown to rest. Nel still felt awkward for having intruded, and Elizabeth was too buried in her own thoughts to say much of anything. Nel left her in her bedroom, promising to wake her in time to dress for dinner.
She needn't have bothered. Elizabeth tried to rest, but her mind was racing with thoughts of what had just happened. She wondered how far Darcy would have taken them had they not been interrupted. He had been so serious since they had arrived at Pemberley, yet she sensed he had been barely holding on to himself when he had held and kissed her. Was having her in his beloved home more than he could handle? Would she find herself visited for the first time tonight? Was she ready for that?
Darcy found himself pacing after his bath. He was in a quandary. Elizabeth had been more accepting of his advances than ever, and he was certain now that she was his for the taking. But was that what he wanted? She would willingly offer herself to him, so why was that not enough? When had it become not enough? Just a week ago he had been finding every opportunity he could do seduce her in little ways, and it had clearly worked.
She had not declared her love for him though, and it tore at his soul. He could take her and make her his own, but would her heart be in it? Would she, the Elizabeth he knew, be willing if her heart was not in it? He thought that he was so close to having that love, but to not hear her say it left him feeling vulnerable. Was it possible that she knew she loved him but was too timid to say it? Could he ask her?
The thought was terrifying. What if she hesitated in her response, or worse, could not say that she did? He was certain he was better off being unsure than sure of what he did not want to be. Besides, this was Elizabeth. Was she ever truly timid? He could not imagine her so, even in this.
He sighed to himself. He knew that if she had not said it, then she had not come to that conclusion herself. Forcing the conversation would likely only end in misery for them both. She might not be fully in love with him, but he also did not think she would want to pain him. While he hated to wait, he knew that they were better off if he was patient.
They met after dressing for dinner as planned and went down together. Neither of them spoke much, each lost in their own thoughts. Elizabeth saw that Darcy had gone back to his somber mood, and she was not sure what had caused it this time. She did not think she had done anything to push him away, and he had chosen to leave her earlier, not the other way around.
They were a quiet group at dinner, and Elizabeth found herself too much in her own thoughts. She became unsettled, wondering if Darcy would choose to visit her that night. She did not think he was capable of hurting her, and therefore was not afraid, but anything new to her brought with it a sense of nervous anticipation.
Their small family party did not stay together long after dinner, with everyone still tired from traveling. Elizabeth soon found herself back in her dressing room, readying for bed. She changed rather quickly, and in a few minutes had dismissed Nel and made her way to the sitting room. She settled on a sofa to wait for Darcy.
Darcy changed quickly, too. After he dismissed his valet he found himself pacing again, however. He could not settle on a course, and after ten minutes found himself just as frustrated and unsure as he had been at the start.
He blew out a long sigh. He did not like being without a plan of action, but he did not want to spend the entire night pacing, either.
Darcy entered their sitting room and saw his wife was already waiting for him. He approached the sofa where she was and noticed that she had her eyes closed.
"Elizabeth?" he asked softly.
She did not move. He sat next to her and reached out to touch her hand. Her breathing remained even and she did not react to him. Darcy laughed softly.
"Well, that settles my quandary," he said out loud. He had noticed her unusual second glass of wine at dinner. She must have been trying to settle herself, and that mixed with the exhaustion of traveling must have caught up with her.
Darcy leaned down to gather his wife in his arms. He carried her to her room and carefully set her in bed. He tucked her in and leaned down to kiss her.
"Good night, my love," he whispered.
He stood back and watched her sleep for a few minutes, appreciating the sweet beauty of his wife. He would continue to be patient, and hope that the charm of Pemberley would help his cause.
Soon, he thought to himself, soon he would have the heart he so desired.