Copyright infringement not intended. T for language and violence. Thanks for the reviews and alerts.
Here we are! Back to the present time line, with all of them. Chapter seven. :D Hope you enjoy! (:
Seven; Breathing.
xlx
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground,
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain.
xlx
Wind whipped her hair violently, tossing locks into her field of vision. She scowled and shoved them back behind her ear, tossing a dark look to the dark-haired man and boy.
It was Tuesday and there was nothing to do. No missions, she wasn't allowed out of the building - without an adult- and she was nearly stuck listening to Genesis go on and on about LOVELESS. Angeal and Zack had appeared, the boy having been looking for her, and she nearly kissed them both.
Anything, even sitting in silence while the boys ranted about the advantages of different swords and bows, was better than listening to Genesis talk about anything in general. Kat swore he only said certain things to get a rise out of her.
Not that it didn't work.
His mere presence had her in a bad mood.
"..in example, if Genesis and Kat got into a fight-," Angeal shot her a look and she grinned cheekily back at him. "-and if Kat only had one of her katanas and no dagger, not even the hidden ones we all know she has, then she would lose to him, it's all about strategy-"
Here she stopped listening, scowling angrily at him despite her vibrantly red face. She hadn't thought anyone knew about her hidden daggers, which she had in numerous spots that she was only allowed to extract them from.
Such as... down her shirt at this current moment, blade flush against her body and tucked inside her bra.
Yes, that would be awkward if someone did a strip-search. She had at least five weapons on her person at a time, or, if she was on a mission and needed to have less restricted movements, only three.
Still.
Also, the mention of her losing to Genesis only boiled her blood. He had probably made him say that, just to piss her off because everyone knew she hated losing. Especially to him, now.
"Hey, hey, hey," she interrupted the young Third, still scowling at her fellow First. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you trying to say that he," Kat jerked her head at the smirking redhead, "is smarter and more strategical in battle than I?"
Zack watched her and Angeal with curious and slightly amused violet-blue eyes, but she paid him no mind. She was insulted by this assumption.
Of course, she wasn't exactly careful during fights, but she got the job done, didn't she? She lived, didn't she?
That was what should have mattered.
Kat liked to think on her feet, use her reflexes, knowledge and instincts as her guide rather than sit down and plot. That just seemed low and dirty to her.
"I'm saying you are a more... offensive fighter rather than a defensive fighter." He answered after a moment of speculation and thinking. She narrowed her eyes, processing his words. Offensive..
She was an aggressive fighter, yes, not really taking the time to think about the consequences of an action or fight until it was too late or trying to defend herself at all. But, Kat always been under the impression that she was strong enough to handle what ever was thrown at her.
Especially fights.
Accepting his answer, she shrugged, leaning back into the couch and resuming her blank stare at the three boys/men.
Oh, yes.
This was an exciting day.
No sarcasm.
She rolled her eyes to herself, wishing that she at least had a book to read or a weapon to clean. The dagger in her bra was likely perspiring, but there was no way she'd take it out in front of these men.
No way she'd take it out in front of Sir Stares-A-Lot.
At least he had a book, Kat grumbled inwardly, shifting in her seat. Even if it was LOVELESS.
Not that she'd ever read the damn thing. She already knew it by heart.
"Don't mind her, 'Geal, she's just jealous of my brains and beauty." Genesis explained, giving her a sly look.
Kat scoffed, folding her arms over her chest and nodding her head. "Oh, yeah, that's it. Totally," she muttered under her breath, sarcasm lacing her words. Zack chuckled by Angeal's side and she smirked at him. "See? Zack agrees with me. No beauty or brains there. Sorry, Genesis."
The Third's jaw dropped and face went redder than her own had been minutes earlier when Genesis turned on him, glaring coldly. "N-no, sir! You're smart and -," his face grew redder and she cackled humorously.
"Awh, he has a crush!" She teased ruthlessly, arching a brow when Zack glared weakly at her. "Genesis has a -!"
Her cell phone's vibration and sharp, shrill ringing cut her off, much to the thanks of the men in the room and to the annoyance of the woman. Kat pulled it out of the front her shirt, gathering looks from the others, and arched a brow before answering the shrieking mobile.
"What?"
Zack's face was an interesting shade of red. He looked like he was suffocating, even though his shoulders rose and fell softly with each breath he took.
Interesting.
"Kat-."
Her phone let out another high-pitched ring and she groaned exasperatedly though hopefully. It could always be Sephiroth, offering to take her out on a mission or a coffee run or anything with him, or Lazard with an assignment for her.
Anything would be better than this boredom.
Flipping open the phone, she brought it to her ear and got to her feet, wandering off away from the others out of habit. "It's Kat." She announced to the caller.
It was quiet for a moment, no one on either end of the line talking, breathing filtering down to her. She scowled. Great, was this some sort of prank call or something? Once she found out who it was, they were so-
"Kat?"
Oh. Her scowl softened to a worried frown. "Nathan? What's going on? Are you okay?" She fired off, not even giving him time to answer one question before she asked the other. She could feel their eyes on her, but she didn't quite care.
Her brother rarely called her, and if he did, he would call Lazard or even Shinra. Not her own personal cell phone.
What was going on?
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I guess.." he mumbled, not really giving her a clear yes-or-no answer. Kat bit her lip anxiously, waiting for him to continue. "It's about Mother and Joey.."
Her heart raced, head beginning to pound with the intensity of it, throat suddenly dry.
No.
They were dead.
She had seen them die, had been there and hadn't done a thing. Why was he bringing this up? Was he in league with Genesis? It was low, even for him.
No.
She didn't want to talk about this, especially not with one of the men that blamed her for it. She couldn't say that she blamed them, though, and that was probably why she hated the subject with a passion.
It reminded her how much she had loved her mother and Joey, and how she hadn't been able to save them. How she was too weak to save those she loved.
Another reason not to love anyone ever again.
Too much pain, too much heart-break.
Her thumb skimmed over the END button, seriously contemplating just hanging up on her brother.
"Don't say their names to me, Nathan." Kat growled at him, fingers clenching around the phone angrily. "Don't you ever say their names to me!"
Distantly, she could hear her companions' voices, hear them talk about her and how they should leave.
She didn't want them to. She needed them to be there. If they were there, she would be able to remind herself that it had been a year, that she was here and not there. They kept her away from the demons of her past.
"No, Kate-,"
Kat cut him off with a sharp, low growl. "My name is Kat. Not Kate or Katelyn."
"Okay. Kat, there's something you need to know," Nathan informed her, a note of urgency and desperation in his voice. She didn't care. She was desperate to get off the phone, desperate to forget this ever happened.
Just like she did with everything that made her think of her past.
Just like she did with her family.
"Save it. Tell Damien or Lyndsay. They'll help you." She snapped, hanging up on him and cutting him off.
Her heart was pounding and she was holding back tears of guilt - not tears of anger or frustration or sadness. Slowly, Kat turned, sliding the cell phone into her pocket, eyes flickering to the two men.
They had seen her cry before, when she came back to her new home after her mother and Joey died she hadn't been able to hold it in any longer. They had brought her straight to the lounge, saying that if anyone valued their life they wouldn't enter.
No one had entered the lounge once that day.
She smiled weakly, lips quivering with the promise of tears. The taller man held out his arms and she nearly broke, then and there. Kat ran to him, not even slowing, slamming into his chest with a thud.
Voices murmured and then the door opened, a boy's voice yelling the exact same words Genesis had said a year ago.
The irony of it all made her laugh wetly, tears beginning to stream down her face in a seemingly never-ending river.
Kat hated herself for being weak, for succumbing to tears and regrets and guilt when the others didn't. But, there was only so much you could take before you broke.
She didn't want to break like that, into so many pieces that it was nearly impossible to put back together. Like a priceless vase shattered. You could never get it to be the exact same way.
She didn't even try to struggle when black was replaced with red, when the smell of blood and sweat and laundry detergent was changed to the scent of leather and Banora whites.
It was comfort and it was all the same to her.
Even when the comfort was laced with hints of love.
xlxNATHANxlx
His chest heaved, eyes glaring at the man ahead of him while he snapped his phone shut. She just didn't get it, did she? She didn't understand how much he needed her?
Not Lyndsay, who, even he had to admit, was becoming a slut.
Not their father, who was a ghost of the proud man he had once been.
He, Nathan, needed her.
"She doesn't care about you."
No.
That was a lie, he reminded herself. Kat was just hurting. She felt betrayed by them and he couldn't blame her. He'd feel betrayed if his family blamed him for the death of their mother Dani and brother Joey.
"She left you here for dead. She knew I was here and she didn't try to protect you."
Nathan's glare strengthened, hands clenching around the short swords. These were lies this man was spewing.
He had killed Dani and Joey. Why should he listen to him?
Why had she hung up on him?
He was only trying to help! He was only trying to be her big brother!
He loved her and she thought he didn't.
Nathan prayed to the Goddess that this wasn't his last day, that that hadn't been his last conversation with his baby sister. He needed to tell her about this man, to tell her he never blamed her, not once.
She was his baby sister.
There was no one he loved or cared about more.
"Kat wouldn't do that. Shut up." He ordered, feeling his body begin to sing with the promise of a fight. This must be why their father and his sister loved SOLDIER. It felt good to fight, to do something that made you proud and happy and safe.
Incredibly safe and sure of your abilities to stay so.
"Dear boy, do you even know your sister anymore?" The man chuckled carelessly.
Nathan's grip went slack for a moment.
Did he know his sister?
She had changed so much in those two years she had been away, regardless if she knew or not. Yes, Kat had grown taller and looked more like a woman than a girl, but it wasn't only that.
Before SOLDIER, she had been loud and brash and thoughtless, not giving a damn about peoples feelings. Afterward, she had still been as noisy and ruthless, but more secluded, secretive. She had found out the hard way that life was not all rainbows and lollipops.
That changed people, he knew that.
It was in the way she held herself. Back straight, head up and eyes wary. Confidence and awareness had leaked from her that day a year ago. She had known who she was and what she was and was proud of it.
He had never been so proud of anyone in his life.
And he had never told her.
The man used his lapse in his guard to his advantage, an arrow whipping through and plunging into his shoulder, the head coming out the other end.
Nathan gasped in pain, more pain flooding him with the action. So, this was what it was like to be die.
It hurt. He didn't like it.
"You know too much, boy." The man snarled just as a feminine figure came from the house nearby. Nathan knew that girl very well, her betrayal affecting him as much as this fatal wound.
He couldn't believe it.
He didn't want to.
How could she do that to him?
She smirked down at him, pointed boot toe nudging the arrow into a painful position, resting the sole lightly against the butt of it.
His eyes narrowed angrily at her. "How could you?" He rasped, not caring about the pain or the ache or anything in that moment. It would be over soon enough anyway, he knew that for sure.
She had always been merciless. There was no point to beg.
"See you," she grinned, not answering his question, and applied more weight to the arrow. It sank deeper, deeper, warm and thick blood pulsing from the wound quickly. Too quickly for his liking.
But, it would be over soon.
Very soon.
With a cough and a final jerk of his body while he inhaled his last breath, his vision went an empty, emotionless black for a moment before it was replaced by the sky. The beautiful cloudless sky.
His mother grinned at him from in front of him, holding his little brother's hand. Joey laughed, not quite understanding why his brother was there most likely, and held out a hand.
Nathan's eyes flickered to his mother's, seeing the regret and indescribable sadness and guilty happiness in them. She didn't want him there. Not in the way that she hated him and didn't want him there to bother her. In the way she didn't want him there because it meant he was dead and she would never want him dead.
But, there's somethings in life you just can't change or control.
"C'mon, Nate! Gran's here! She said she'll have cookies for me today, you can have some, too! And Gramps, he knew Sephiroth! He has all of these amazing tales and-"
Slowly, with the wariness of a twenty year old who had seen much and not trusted enough, he took his brother's hand, pushing himself to his feet.
He wished that he had been able to tell Kat how much he loved her and how proud he was of her. He wished he could tell her about the man and his accomplice.
But, she was hurt and broken and betrayed. She wouldn't listen to him no matter how badly he wished he would.
"Good to see you, Mother, Joey," he murmured, smiling at the worried blond woman. She knew what he meant by that, the hidden meaning that he barely admitted to himself.
It would have been even better to see Kat.
xlxKATxlx
She sighed, eyeing her cell phone with a particular dislike.
Angeal had left, Zack following him closely, leaving Genesis with her. He glanced up to her from the white book. Kat wondered if he ever got tired of reading the same thing. She imagined it would get very boring.
"You know you're going to call him," he stated. She glared at him, scowling. She hated how he knew her so well, after only four years of being partners.
"You know you're going to get your ass kicked next time we're training."
He snorted and flipped a page, returning to the damned thing. Kat groaned, but flipped open the phone, dialing the all too familiar number with practised fingers and brought it to her ear.
She was met with the dial tone.
Frowning, she hung up, redialing quickly, trying not to think the worse.
Each time she called her brother's cell phone, she got the dial tone.
Each time she got the dial tone, she realized more and more.
But she refused to believe it.
No.
It couldn't be true.
It just couldn't.
Her eyes skipped over to the other azure pair, wishing it was olive green she was seeing and not Mako blue. Genesis was watching her, hints of worry on his features.
He knew and so did she.
The only difference was that she didn't believe it and he did.
Kat shook her head, dialing her old house phone. After two rings, someone picked up. "Hullo?"
She bit her lip. Damien. He had to know. He just had to. Pushing away her deep hatred for the man, focusing on her fears for her brother, she sighed. "Hi. Is Nathan there?" She asked, as polite and formal as she could be.
Damien swore and there was the slamming of a door. When he returned to the phone, he was breathing heavily. "This is Kat, correct?" He asked, and for a moment he sounded like had when she was fifteen and home.
Proud and loving.
It only spiked her panic to new levels. "Yeah, it's Kat."
He swore again, violently and loudly. She knew where she got that habit from now, she thought with an inward chuckle. "Kit-Kat, I - wait, are you sitting?" He asked suddenly.
Kat frowned and collapsed into the sofa, not meeting the other man's curious gaze. "Am now. What's going on? I can't reach Nathan," she stated anxiously, praying to anything or anyone that it wasn't what she thought.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
That was all he had to say.
Her vision blurred before her, threat clenching. No. No. This wasn't happening, not again! "No. He can't be. You're lying!" She shrieked, unable to control herself, unable to care enough to do so.
"I'm not, Kit-Kat. Nathan was killed-"
She hung up, cutting him off.
No.
Not again.
She had opened herself up to the pain and hurt that came along with loving someone in any way. Even if she swore she hated them all, she knew she couldn't. They were her family.
And they were nearly all dead because of that one reason.
"I'm sorry, Kat."
Kat looked over to Genesis, eyes narrowing in confusion. She hadn't remembered a moment ago why she was still in Midgar, not in Gongaga and not protecting the people she loved. But, when she heard him and saw him, she remembered.
These were people that had become her second family.
They needed her protection just as much as her father and sister did.
"So am I."
xlx
And this how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me,
And this is where I lose myself when I keep running from you.
xlx
So...? (:
What did you think?
I quite liked Nathan's part. Fun character to write. (:
Well, revieww! XD
Until next time,
xWhiteRainx