The Joys of Parenthood

Disclaimer: I'm not RIB, so I don't own Glee or any of the characters. If I did, I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfiction! This fic is an MPREG fic, so I'll be using my go-to MPREG explanation like I did in When We're Older aka the Reddin gene. The gene is based on the Reddin character from the 1994 movie Junior. You should really watch it if you like mpreg. It's a good movie, I promise (I also don't have any rights to it either!) I also don't really own anything mentioned in this except for the crazy storyline so... I OWN NOTHING.

A/N: I wrote this as a birthday gift for a friend on tumblr! There wasn't a prompt, but I'll give you the basic plot before you go in.

[PLOT: Kurt and Blaine are expecting their first child. It's Kurt's birthday and he gets a little more than he bargained for.]

"SURPRISE!"

Kurt startled, jumping several inches away from the door and right into his husband as a chorus of excited voices boomed as soon as he stepped in the foyer. Blaine's hands fell to his hips, steadying him as he swayed, and then the lights flickered on, showing off the group of people hiding in his living room. Burt and Carole were sitting on the sofa; Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, Santana, and Brittany were scattered around the room and, coming out of the kitchen, was Elliot. The dark haired man had a large sheet cake in his hands, a few dozen candles burning bright on the icing, waiting for someone to blow them out.

"Happy birthday, Kurt!" Everyone cheered, grinning at the man as he stepped out of Blaine's grasp and walked towards Elliot. For a moment, he studied the cake, smiling when he realized it was from his favorite bakery; then he sucked in a deep breath, only pausing when Blaine stopped him so they could sing the birthday song. As soon as that was over, he huffed and puffed and blew out all the candles, rolling his eyes when his friends and family cheered.

"I can't believe you guys did all this!" Gesturing the streamers and balloons, Kurt took another look around the room, slightly in awe at how fast they put everything together during the hour that he and Blaine had been out of the house on their daily walk.

"You deserve it. Happy birthday, honey." Blaine murmured, sliding one arm around his husband's waist to press his palm against Kurt's belly as he kissed the side of Kurt's neck. The sight caused Rachel to coo and Santana grumbled, muttering to herself about PDA while pregnant and how she didn't need to see any them partaking in any of their creepy fetishes. "It's not a fetish," Blaine argued, rolling his eyes at their friend. "I just so happen to adore my husband and his tummy. He is carrying our child, you know?"

Kurt placed his hand over Blaine's and squeezed it, sliding away seconds later to dig his finger into the side of the cake to steal a bit of icing. "Yeah, you know, the child that needs to make his or her appearance soon before I lose my damn mind."

"Your due date is coming up really soon. They'll be here before you know it."

"Tell that to my aching body," the birthday boy complained, stepping past his hubby and friends to peer at the presents stacked up on the table. Deep down, he felt kinda bad that everyone went out and bought him gifts when they'd just been there a month prior for his baby shower. But if they really wanted to celebrate him, that was fine. He'd let them. Though he wished they could've waited until after he gave birth. He felt kinda off today, especially when he got up that morning, but oh well, he'd push through it. It wasn't every day that you could celebrate your birthday with all of your friends and your family, especially when you start getting up there in years and everyone's busy at the same time.

Which reminded him...

"Okay, whose idea was it to put these god awful signs up?" He pointed at the wall where several different streamers and signs declared things about him being the dirty thirty and how close he was at being over the hill. Just knowing that he was no longer in his twenties left a pang in his heart. His husband and quite a few of their friends were still back in the glorious years while he was entering the dark ages and he was a tad bit jealous that no longer was he as young and spry at the rest of the group. "I feel old."

"That's because you are old, grandpa. Here, eat some cake before you start crying." Santana shoved a huge slice of white chocolate raspberry goodness in his hands, stabbing at a piece with his fork before she forcefully made him take a taste. He was thankful for her observant nature; he was feeling like he could cry (stupid hormones) and with the distraction that was this glorious cake, he felt loads better.

Around him, the party continued. Blaine and Elliot cut up the cake and served it. Rachel started up the karaoke machine for some birthday music, and everyone else plopped down on various pieces of furniture around him to talk about the baby and how he felt about his life getting ready to change really soon. As he ate, he watched his friends and family closely, ignoring his husband's watchful eye as Blaine stared him down from across the room. So what if he grimaced every once in a while? So what if his stomach felt a little weird this morning and had been feeling like that on and off all day? He had aches and pains throughout the whole pregnancy. This wasn't anything new; he could handle it. Though he was sure he wouldn't be able to handle Blaine's piercing gaze much longer without snapping, that's for sure...

"So, how ya feelin'? Baby feel like it's ready to come out yet?"

Kurt looked up, smiling at his dad as the older man took the seat directly next to him and patted his leg. Carole came by with two plates of food and handed one off to Burt, taking a spot beside him to also join in on the conversation. "You look like you're getting closer to delivery. Your dad and I were just talking about you before you came home. The last time we were here, you seemed calmer. Now you've got those antsy tall tale signs on your face. This baby should be coming real soon."

"I have two more weeks left of this and then you guys can get all excited. As of right now, the looks you're seeing aren't me getting ready for labor, but are mefreaking the hell out because there's less than a month left and I don't feel ready for anything."

"I don't know why he still doesn't feel ready. We have everything we need," Blaine interrupted, holding out a glass of lemonade for Kurt to take before he sat down on the coffee table. Before Kurt could complain, he shushed him, leaning forward to peck a fruity flavored kiss on Kurt's lips. "If anything, you're just worried about having the baby and believe me, I'm worried too. It's like the days are flying by."

"Like I said earlier, tell that to my aching body!" The cluster of Hummel relations laughed and the rest of the party congregated around them, adding their own to the discussion as everyone talked about their excitement for the newest member of the clan to finally join them. They stayed like that for over an hour, eating cake and joking about the baby. Most of the group was too invested in Elliot singing a Queen song to notice Kurt slipping away to the bathroom, but Blaine, who'd been weary of his husband since he woke up that morning to find Kurt rubbing his belly with a look of discomfort on his face, got up and followed.

"Hey sweetheart, you okay?" The younger man asked, tapping his knuckles on the door of the bathroom, leaning his forehead against the wood as he listened to the noises his husband made on the other side of the wall. "Kurt?"

"I'm fine. I just had to pee. You know how it is."

"Are you sure you're okay? You were looking a little flustered earlier."

"It's just the excitement of the day, that's all. I looked just like this at my baby shower. It's fine."

In Blaine's mind, he argued over how it wasn't fine and how Kurt didn't look anything like he did at the baby shower compared to now. At the shower, he was bubbly and bouncy, bursting over how thankful he was for the gifts he received. Today, however, he looked like he was on some other planet, like he was disconnected from everyone else. Burt and Carole noticed it, but no one else did - minus Blaine. So, when Kurt wasn't paying attention, the Hummels got together and talked about it, Blaine agreeing that he'd definitely keep an eye on his husband that afternoon.

Not to mention, Kurt had been off his game since that morning and even during their walk, he'd been sluggish and lost. If that wasn't a sign of something crazy to come, then what was? Blaine didn't know, but he was ready to get to the bottom of things, no matter whether or not his birthday boy of a hubby got mad at him for hovering.

::::::::::

Two hours into the party, the group finally settled down enough for presents. Brittany busted out the most ridiculous Lisa Frank party hats for everyone to wear (they had unicorns and dolphins and all that magical stuff she still believed in, so they humored her, though Blaine secretly loved them considering he really admired that stuff as a child.) Decked out in their amusing attire, Blaine had Kurt sit in the recliner, carefully handing him present after present, watching studiously as the older man opened each gift and thanked everyone for their generosity. As he was in the midst of opening his gift from his dad and Carole, Kurt paused, a sharp intake of breath interrupting his humming, the action causing a bit of alarm around the whole room.

"Kurt?"

Blaine crawled over to the chair on his hands and knees, kneeling in front of his husband to place a hand on Kurt's belly. The feeling beneath his palm was indescribable, but Blaine knew it wasn't good or at least anything usual. The flesh beneath his touch was tight, like it was contracting or something and- oh god.

"You're having a contraction!"

"He's what?"

"Oh my god!"

"Kurt!"

"I totally called it!"

Everyone turned to glare at Sam, who shrugged, and then the room blew up again, Rachel clapping her hands and squealing as Carole rushed to Kurt's side and Blaine started full force panicking. "Okay. Okay! Kurt's in labor. The baby's coming now and we're got everything ready. We can do this. We've got this! We're prepared. We're-" He paused, pressing a hand against his own stomach as he rose to his feet and ran out of the room.

"Where's he going?" Kurt hissed, face contorting as he rode the rest of the contraction out. Sam left the room for a second, coming back to peer in the doorway of the living room with a frown on his face.

"He's puking right now, but he told me to tell you that he's fine. He'll be out shortly."

"Oh, he'd better be. He helped make this baby and he's gonna be there when I freaking have it."

::::::::::

The ride to the hospital was frantic. The air was heavy with a mixture of fear, adrenaline, and anticipation. Blaine, Kurt, Burt, and Carole took one taxi while the rest of the group split up into two others. On the way through the traffic littered streets, Kurt confessed that he'd been having small contractions all morning, but had assumed that they weren't anything serious. It wasn't until he was on his walk with Blaine that he thought about how frequent they were, but still, he said nothing. That whole time, during the entire walk around the park, and coming home to the party, Kurt had been in pain and said nothing.

He was a pretty good actor when they all really thought about it; barely anyone really caught on until later and only then, the others thought that something could be happening, not that it already was.

Burt sighed, turning around in his seat to look at the people seated behind him. Blaine had one of Kurt's hands while Carole had the other and his son was hunched forward in his seat groaning, growled complaints biting through the thick air of the taxi. He'd been catty since the second they left the apartment and Burt knew that the only reason he was so bitter at that moment was because he was scared. Kurt never really got that mean unless he was hurting and this time, it was an extreme physical pain, so he understood. "We're almost there, bub." He tried to soothe, watching as Blaine's face paled tremendously as Kurt squeezed his hand a little tighter as the contractions got worse. "We're almost there."

::::::::::

If anyone else had been at the hospital at that moment in time, they would've wondered what the hell was going on. A group of twenty-somethings and two older adults were pacing around the waiting room of the delivery ward, all of them wearing the strangest multicolored attire, like something one would wear for a child's birthday party. There were cone-shaped party hats, sashes, and glow in the dark bracelets; the items were covered in rainbow hued animals, clouds, and stars, and one of the girls even had her face painted.

"Were you all at a child's party?" A curious nurse asked as she wandered through the ward. Santana glared at her, but Rachel answered, explaining to the woman that the items were a joke for a friend's thirtieth birthday party.

"We'll probably need different decorations later," she added, smiling at the RN. "He's in there having a baby right now."

"On his birthday? Well, bless his heart. What a gift."

"That's what I said!" Sam laughed, pointing his finger at the group as they all remembered him joking around earlier (before Kurt and Blaine got home) and how he kept saying how funny it would be if Kurt went into labor on his birthday and got his own child as a birthday gift. "Seriously, this is like the best present ever."

"I'd say," Burt added, his voice thick. Carole cooed at him and kissed his temple, taking his hands into her own as she watched the nurse disappear behind the doors and leave the rest of them out to wait. Santana, Mercedes, and Elliot went back to snapping the strings of their party hats, making up stupid little tunes to pass the time, and Sam and Brittany colored in the Lisa Frank books she brought for everyone as party favors. Rachel took a seat next to her family (because she was always family to the Hummels, no matter what) and then they all continued playing the waiting game, patiently biding their time by talking about what Kurt and Blaine would be like as parents.

Then, within an hour and a half of that nurse leaving them on their own, the doors swung open and Blaine came out, hair askew and party clothes now replaced with scrubs, a bright smile on his face.

"I'm a daddy," he whispered to the cheers of the whole waiting room. "I'm a dad."

::::::::::

Burt was the first to enter the room. Everyone was tucked close behind him, the line of people looking more like they were doing the conga than going to visit one of the brand new parents on the ward. No one at the nurse's station said anything though, just quietly observed (and if they were incredibly amused while doing so, no one made a peep.)

Kurt was sitting up in bed, the party hat he had on earlier sitting on the stand beside his bed alongside a pitcher of water. In his arms, he held a bundle wrapped up in a multicolor checkered blanket and when he noticed the amount of people hovering in the doorway of his room, he beamed.

"Surprise! It's a girl!"

"A girl?! I thought you were having a boy!"

Blaine chuckled, squeezing through his friends to get to his husband and daughter. "We thought we were too. We never looked into it because we wanted to be surprised, but Kurt was carrying all his weight in his belly plus he was carrying low and all the websites and books said that meant a boy-"

"But aren't those old wives' tales?"

"Yeah, but they're sometimes true for some people so that's why we were thinking boy. But alas, here she is and she's perfect." Punctuating that fact, Blaine kissed the top of the baby's head and then Kurt's, smiling down at his family. Kurt lowered his arms a bit to show off the infant within them, allowing everyone to see her cherubic face and wisps of jet black hair. She was sleeping, mouth pursed in a cute little bow, and the girls all cooed at her. Sam walked over and fist bumped Blaine, wrapping him up in a hug as he made jokes and did impressions about how he was this little girl's godfather.

As most the younger crowd (minus Sam) stayed back, Burt and Carole came over to take a closer look and Brittany started snapping pictures on her phone, halfway climbing onto the bed to get a better shot of the wee one in her friend's arms. "She's gorgeous, Kurt. What's her name?"

"Well," Kurt hummed, glancing down at his baby once again. He barely had the strength to take his eyes off of her, he was so smitten, but he was able to look up at Brittany to answer her question for just a second. "It took us a while to think of something, but when they handed her over, I knew."

"We named her-" Blaine started and then, together, they said, "Erin Brooke."

"Aww, what a beautiful name." Carole breathed, smiling at the baby as she yawned. Burt immediately requested he get to hold his brand new grandchild, considering he called dibs in the waiting room being the proud grandpa and all. After the little one was handed over and the grandparents were preoccupied with her, Rachel climbed on the bed to snuggle up beside Kurt, grinning at the group as they too found some way to squeeze on the large mattress with their friend. Blaine was on Kurt's other side, Sam and Mercedes were leaning against the edge of the bed, and Santana, Brittany, and Elliot were somewhat sitting all clustered together at the foot.

"So how are you feeling?"

Kurt looked up at Mercedes' question and nodded his head with a blush, looking over at his parents with his daughter. Heart swelling with pride, he caught his best friend's dark eyes and squeezed Blaine's hand as he answered, his voice giddy, loving, and saturated with something new - that something being the life-changing inspiration of being someone's dad. "Honestly, I'm feeling like this is the best birthday ever," he admitted and as he took in the room full of people, still decked out in their finest nerdy party wear, watching him with matching smiles, he definitely could agree with himself on this one. It totally was the...

Best. Birthday. Ever.

A/N: Remember y'all, if you have prompts and would like to see something written, you can ask me on here or on my tumblr (warblerslushie) any time. If you have the chance today, swing by tumblr and wish my friend Erin/ecklainer a happy birthday! Thanks!