16. Think Happy Thoughts

Audrey was lazily scrambling eggs in a pan when the door to Erin's bedroom swung open and a very tired French-Irish witch dragged her feet to the kitchen. Audrey raised an eyebrow at her as she jumped up on the kitchen countertop with a heavy sigh.

"You're up early for a change," Erin muttered. "Ham and eggs, I suppose? Only damn thing you can cook."

"Certainly better than your watered-down porridge," Audrey replied. "You're awfully cheery."

"You don't say?" Erin said sarcastically. Then, she buried her face in her hands and let out a frustrated groan. "Merlin, I hate this time of year! We keep going up to Banff late at night to practice flying over water and it's all I can do not to off myself. I swear my legs are going raw from being on a broom so damn much."

"Yeah, really loving the vivid imagery, there," Audrey muttered with a frown. She divided the eggs in the pan between two plates, and handed one of the plates and a fork to a grumbling Erin. "You'd be lying if you said you didn't like it, though, am I right?"

"Yeah, you are," Erin admitted with a sigh as she grabbed the plate from Audrey and dug into her breakfast. "Zut, I couldn't imagine going on living without flying nearly every day. Anyways, cheerier subject matter: how was your date?"

"It wasn't a date, Erin."

"Mhm, I'm sure," Erin said with a wink, which only caused Audrey to roll her eyes. "I get why you like him."

Audrey's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?"

"No, you misunderstand me, Miss Callaghan: I get why you like him," Erin clarified. Audrey sent her a glare and Erin only laughed as she added, "Merlin, I thought only you could read rubbish that boring, but I guess I was wrong."

"It wasn't a date," Audrey repeated firmly. "At least I thought it wasn't, because, well... I honestly thought he had a girlfriend. But he doesn't."

"Knowing you, you probably outright asked him in the first five minutes of the date if he has one," Erin joked. "Or, sorry, not date. Whatever it is you two got up to."

Audrey bit her lip nervously before replying, "I did worse than that."

"Worse?" Erin asked, raising an eyebrow in interest.

"Literally jumped on him and snogged him."

"My, my, you're a fiesty one, Miss Callaghan," her friend teased.

"Then, I blubbered like an idiot about being a homewrecker and offered to Obliviate him before he finally caught on and told me he didn't have a girlfriend."

"And then...?" Erin coaxed.

"And then I ran the hell away."

"You're a right idiot, Audrey."

"Don't I know it."

Audrey leaned her back against the wall of the duelling room with a sigh, her conversation with Erin still fresh in her mind. She was an idiot. What was the point in running away, anyways? He probably didn't think she was a horrible person at all, and Audrey was just letting her imagination run wild. She had always been a little to hard on herself, after all.

I mean, do I even like him, or is it just -

"Excuse me?" a voice called, snapping Audrey out of her thoughts. She turned to see two familiar faces looking at her quizzically.

In that moment, their faces were unfortunately familiar.

Audrey turned her head towards the voice to see a young black-haired man with round glasses, who she quickly recognized as Harry Potter, standing next to his redheaded friend, Ron Weasley.

Great, Audrey thought to herself sourly. This is exactly what I need right now.

"I was just debating with Ron here if we know you or not," Harry explained. "Did you go to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, I did," Audrey answered. "A couple years ahead of the two of you, though, so it's not too surprising that you don't recognize me."

"I do, though," Ron said. "I could have sworn I'd seen you around with... with my twin brothers."

Audrey nervously bit on the inside of her cheek, thinking of the most sensible way to reply. Percy would have come up with a reply in a jiff, Audrey thought absentmindedly. He can be quite diplomatic.

Whoa, she thought to herself in a warning tone, let's keep the Percy thoughts at bay.

"Yes, I knew them," she finally replied. "They had a knack for causing trouble, and trouble had a knack for finding me."

"That just about describes them," Ron said with a small laugh. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Audrey," she answered with a strained smile. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to regroup with my year."

"Of course, sorry for keeping you," Harry said with a nod.

Audrey walked away from the pair and tried to shake the conversation out of her mind, although she was quite happy with how it went. No mention of her last name meant no recoiling, and she just knew that Ron and Harry wouldn't have been that friendly if they remembered that she was a Slytherin. It seemed that maybe she could escape that silly stigma after all.

"You look as pale as a ghost," Allison muttered from next to her.

Audrey let out a rather unflattering snort. "Wow, I'm touched. Best compliment I've heard all day." Her fellow trainee only snickered at her sarcasm, and that was enough to put a faint but genuine smile on Audrey's face.

Soon enough, the supervisor for the year one trainees, Edward Connell, strode into the room and got everyone's attention, the room lulling into a curious silence.

"Since we have three years of Auror trainees all in one room, we've decided to touch on something you all have plenty of knowledge on by now: Patronuses," Connell started. "Now, the Patronus Charm is not only useful for keeping Dementors away, but also for sending messages, so it is especially useful for Aurors to use in case of emergencies. Today, we'll briefly talk about different kinds of Corporeal Patronuses, and then we'll practice non-verbal casting and sending messages."

Connell paused and glanced around the room, as if he could gauge everyone's understanding by how glassy their eyes were, before continuing.

"Now, let's have one person from each year cast one, shall we?" he proposed. "We'll make comments on the strength, and the body that you cast as lesson. So, from year one, you there – Dunbar, correct? Yes, and year two... ah, you! I can't quite see your nametag... Callaghan! All right, and from year three, we'll have Eastchurch."

Audrey winced when she saw Connell point her way. This was not what she wanted to be doing - not in the slightest. Audrey was fairly certain that she wouldn't be able to cast a Patronus anymore, nor had she even tried since the war had ended. Slytherins were often short on happy memories to start with, and the one memory that brought a genuine smile to her face had been... tarnished. Just thinking about it in that moment made Audrey feel a painful pang in her chest.

"Ha! Got you Audie!"

Audrey stuck her tongue out in disgust as she tasted the salty, algae-tinged seawater that her younger brother splashed towards her. She could hear Erin giggling somewhere behind her, and Audrey crossed her arms with a huff.

The sky was a vibrant blue, with fluffy clouds of a startling white colour calmly rolling across it. The sun shone so brightly down on the beach behind her family's estate that Audrey could practically feel her skin growing redder by the second.

"Some way to treat me on my special day, Brady!" she shouted, but it was only in mock anger.

The three children were celebrating Audrey getting her acceptance letter from Hogwarts, and enjoying one of the last few days that they would have together until winter holidays. With Erin being shipped off to France, and Brady staying right at home, Audrey wouldn't see hide nor hair of either of them for months. In that particular moment, with Audrey's stomach full of ice cream and cake, she was just happy to have her best friend and her brother with her - even if it meant ingesting gross seawater.

"Then you better fight back, huh?" Brady taunted. "Or are you scared? Audie's scared! Audie's scared! Audie's - !"

Before Brady could continue his little war chant, Audrey splashed seawater right at his face, and Brady stumbled backwards as he let out a sound halfway between a gurgle and a yelp. Erin's giggling escalated to hysteric laughter as Audrey stood triumphantly before her brother, with her hands on her hips.

"How's that for scared, Brady?" she asked with a smirk.

Brady suddenly dipped below the water and came up behind Audrey, jumping on her back with a scream that sounded a lot like a battle cry. Audrey let out a frustrated groan as her younger brother laughed at her misfortune.

"I guess this one's a draw between the Callaghan siblings," Erin decided, wading her way to where Audrey was now struggling against her younger brother's iron grip. "You two are a couple of loonies."

Audie. That was what her brother had called her when he had first started speaking, unable to properly pronounce her name. The nickname stuck until he had started his first year, and some idiot third year hanging around Audrey had corrected him, unbeknownst to the fact that Brady was her own brother. After that, 'Audie' was only used at home.

The memory still brought a smile to her face, but it was quickly wiped away by the fact that it was highly unlikely she would ever hear her brother's laugh again. She couldn't even think about that memory anymore without her parents' dead bodies flashing before her eyes.

"All right, Callaghan - you're up!" Connell's voice broke through her thoughts. Audrey was hoping he would have forgotten he had called on her.

"Can I not, sir?" Audrey replied.

A startled expression clouded Connell's face, as if she had just insulted his mother. "Excuse me?"

Merlin, he's thick, Audrey thought with a sigh. "It's just... I don't think I can," she clarified. "Happy thoughts and all. A lot of us are short on those, nowadays."

In her peripheral vision, Audrey could see Allison give her a concerned look and nearly snapped at her to stop it. She hated it when people did that. It's not like she was some sick puppy. Why can't they all just be great listeners, like Percy?

Damn it, Audrey. Again with the Percy thoughts.

"Oh, I see," Connell said quietly. "Well, what's the harm in trying, right? Just give it a shot."

Realizing that there would be no way out of her situation, Audrey stepped forward and stood in front of the trainees. She thought to the memory on the beach with Brady and Erin and tried her hardest to focus on the feeling and not the people that made her feel that way. She performed the wand movements and cast a non-verbal Patronus Charm.

Oh, the Patronus came out, all right. It was a small, weak little thing, though. Her once strong and bright bobcat was looking a bit dim and even frightened.

This is so embarrassing, Audrey thought as her eyes fluttered shut and she took a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself.

"There you go! Certainly not strong, but you cast it, Miss Callaghan!" Connell praised, his cheery tone a little bit strained. "Now, a bobcat is a very interesting animal. Cunning, yet playful. Thank you very much, Callaghan. Eastchurch, please come up..."

Audrey tuned out the rest of Connell's ramblings, and the rest of the lesson. When everyone branched off into pairs to practice sending messages, Allison kindly offered to do all of the practicing and promptly added, "I'm not going to try to force any meek, little bobcats out of you, like that nutter."

Audrey was grateful that she at least had a friend to soften the blow of her never-ending humiliation. First, impulsive snogging. Second, weak Patronuses. Audrey could not catch a break.

Once the lesson ended, there was nothing Audrey wanted to do more than leave the Auror Office, go home, bury her head in a pillow, and scream until her throat started bleeding.

The only way Audrey had been able to get through her day-to-day activities without curling up into a ball and crying was by keeping her mind far away from Brady and her parents. It was a lot easier to do than it sounded, seeing as she didn't even live in Ireland anymore. Moreover, Auror training combined with chatting mindlessly with Erin did a good job of keeping her mind busy.

On that day, however, Audrey was forced to face something she had not faced in months, and she had yet to settle down from it. Her hands were still trembling slightly, her breathing was ragged, and her heart pounded violently against her ribcage. She felt like talking, saying something, but there was no one to turn to, and she wasn't even sure if the words would come.

"Audrey?"

The soft voice broke her out of her thoughts, and Audrey realized she had stopped walking and leaned a hand against the wall to take a break and attempt to steady her breathing. When she looked up at the person, Audrey wasn't sure if she was relieved or even more agitated.

"Oh," Audrey let out quietly. "Percy. Hello."

Percy. I can talk to him.

"Are you all right? You look a little under the weather," Percy observed as he took a few steps closer to her and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder.

Percy was a little shocked that he found Audrey stopped in the middle of a hallway, looking pale and frightened, even though he came to the Auror Office looking for her. He had found himself unable to sleep the previous night, his mind reeling with all sorts of confusing thoughts, all about Audrey. Percy hadn't been able to get any rest until he finally decided that he would seek her out the next day to tell her, once and for all, that he couldn't just be friends with her.

"I'm... No," Audrey started. Just be honest. She took a deep breath and turned to face Percy before continuing, "I'm not all right, and I know I kind of made things very confusing between us, but is there any chance you could possibly forget it for about ten minutes so I can... so I can just talk to someone. I'm sorry, I just - "

"Yes," Percy interrupted. "That's not a problem at all."

Audrey stared at him in mild shock for a moment, but then everything spilled out of her mouth like a gigantic waterfall of information. Everything from the Patronus lesson in her training class, to her rubbish memory, to how hard she tried to avoid any thoughts of her family. By the end of it, though, Percy stepped forward to wrap his arms around her and Audrey could slowly feel her heat rate slowing down and her breathing becoming steady.

"Merlin, I'm sorry," Audrey said into his shoulder. "I'm keeping you from your work."

"No, I finished work early today. I actually came to talk to you, anyways," Percy replied.

Audrey stepped back and both of their arms dropped to their sides as she looked up at Percy in shock. "What?"

"Yes, well, I'll have you know that I had a bloody difficult time getting to sleep last night," Percy started. "And I realized that your confusion yesterday was partially my fault. I didn't really clarify that that was supposed to be a date, did I?"

"Uh, no..." Audrey replied quietly, although she was quite sure that the question was rhetorical.

"Well, in that case, I'll be outright about it," Percy concluded. "Perhaps a lunch this time? Whatever we'll be having, it will be a date."

Audrey blinked in surprise, and she felt her jaw drop slightly. She really couldn't believe that she was hearing right.

"Audrey?"

"Oh! Right! Well, of - "

BOOM!

Audrey felt herself flying backwards, hitting the opposite wall of the hallway with a loud thud. Her vision was clouded by a bright light, dust, and debris, and her ears were ringing. She blinked a few times, trying to get her eyes to work better, and she saw Percy a few feet away from her, his hand pressing on his forehead. He took notice of Audrey once she moved herself closer to him and grabbed his hand. She wasn't sure if she did it to reassure herself that she was alive, or that he was alive, but feeling Percy's warm hand in her own helped clear her mind.

Soon enough, Audrey's mind was clear enough for her to acknowledge that something was very, very wrong.

Well, things can't just go easy for them! Anyways, please do let me know what you thought - I have rewritten this chapter so many times that I can practically recite it.