A/N: HOPE… chap.4
Hello to my lovely readers. Thanks to all of you who alert and fav my story.
The characters belong to S.M. In HOPE, they belong to me.
*This story deals with abuse, neglect and intimidation…It can be quite painful to read.*
Special note to the readers: My mother tongue is French. I love English and try to write a text with no mistakes. My ultimate goal is to master the language perfectly.
HOPE chap.4
ON MY OWN
EDWARD
Flashback (Edward...eighteen years old)
I was now living with Jake and Emmett. My parents threw me out of their house, having enough of my delinquent behaviour.
The night they decided that they couldn't endure my bad attitudes anymore, was the night I came home with a car.
I had my driver's license since I was sixteen years old.
I was now eighteen, and Jake had decided that it was about time, I had my own car.
It was a grey Volvo and I was pretty happy about it.
I didn't know where the car came from. I didn't know if it was stolen…my buddies had their own way with the serial numbers… and their own way to get fake documents and registrations.
If it was stolen…I didn't fucking care. I felt safe and Jake wouldn't have given me a car that would bring me into some trouble of any kind.
But I was in trouble at home.
When my parents saw the car parked in the alley, the questions began.
"Hello Edward." My father said.
"Is there someone with you?" My mother asked.
"No, I am alone".
"There is a grey Volvo in the driveway…Whose car is it?" My father asked.
"It is my car…"
"How come you have a car?" My mother asked in a very surprised voice.
"Jake gave it to me."
"Why would Jake give you a car?" Carlisle added in an angry voice.
"For rendered services" I answered in a boring tone.
"What kind of services?" Are you still selling drugs, Edward…?"
"None of your fucking business" I snapped back at them.
"You live here Edward…You will do as you are told…You give that car to Jake immediately…Call him…"
"No fucking way…This is my car and I keep it…" You won't tell me what to do…I am eighteen years old and I am an adult. You are not my boss and I'll do what I want."
"Is this your last word?" Carlisle added, almost yelling at me.
"Fucking sure it is…Leave me alone…and mind your own fucking business."
"Okay, Edward…That's it…You want to live your own life…so live it the way you want." Tomorrow I want you to leave the house…get your own place…go with your friends….They seem to be your family…I can't endure it anymore. We've tried to help you. We don't recognize you. I won't call the police…I could…some days you will be caught…selling drugs… and I am pretty sure this is a stolen car…You are bad Edward…and I don't consider you as my son anymore…Go away and don't ever come back."
"If it is your decision…well…okay with me…I don't give a shit…" And I am not waiting a single hour…I am packing my stuff right now…and you won't hear of me…ever…as is I've never existed…" I don't give a fucking damn…I have enough money to be on my own…" I snapped back at them.
I called Jake and asked him if I could live at his place for awhile. There was no fucking problem with it.
I packed my stuff and left the place. I never saw my parents again…and I didn't fucking care.
It was fun leaving with Jake and Emmett… I had no curfew…even if I did not respect curfew's hours when I was at home. I could do what I want now and nobody told me what to do.
Jake was a sort of a boss…He was the leader of the gang, but he respected me, and never tried to impose on me something I didn't want to do.
I kept recruiting girls; selling drugs to them, treating them as princesses, and when they were ready, they would accept to offer sexual services to guys, because they were in love with me, and they would do anything to please me.
The girls I chose were eighteen years old and over.
I didn't want to have anything to do with minors anymore; that was another of my rules…No minors and no beating.
I was beautiful than ever; six feet two, muscled and in top shape.
My body was my ultimate power. I took care of it. No drugs, except for weed sometimes, no strong alcohol, and I took a special care with the food I ate; no junk food, just healthy food.
The girls were crazy about me.
I was the best manipulator in the gang. I think that is why Jake and the others respected me so much.
I was always the starting point. That was my job.
Five girls were working for me. And nobody touched my girls… I mean if I found those girls were special…The gang didn't try to sell hard drugs to them. I was their only boss and they would only listen to me.
If I found a girl that was of no interest, I would introduce her to the other members of the gang. What they did after was none of my fucking business.
My girls were always the same type; beautiful, with long, brown hair, brown-chocolate eyes, ivory skin, and slender. And they had to have a painful past.
It was much easier with girls who were seeking for attention and love.
I always treated them nicely but they had to do what I ordered.
I was in no hurry and I always succeeded with them.
I had a ton of patience...My goal was to make them fall in love with me…They thought I was in love …I was not…I was in love with the power I had on them. They thought I was their boyfriend in a way… I played the game, but I was not…I was their master. As long as they would listen to me…everything would be perfect. If they began to argue and to want exclusivity, I sent them back on the streets.
Every time I noticed a girl who would be a nice prey, I began to talk to her.
Some of them were living on the streets. Some of them were not happy with their lives. And as they were adults, there was no problem with their families. The families didn't even know where to find their daughters.
I used my charm and my sexual attraction. I knew how to dazzle a girl.
I knew how to talk. I knew how to listen. I knew how to convince.
I would offer them gifts, flowers and new clothes.
I would offer them facial cares and massages…I would pay for the hairdresser.
I would offer them free drugs.
And they would have a roof. I already had rent an apartment for them.
They all fell in love me.
And they didn't even mind with the fact that I was sleeping with all of them.
I made them understand that I loved each of them in a different way…That they were all special and that nobody was more important than the other ones.
When I felt that it was the time, I would convince them to offer sexual services to men.
And they would do that for me, because they loved me and they would do it to please me.
Sometimes it was harder to get my way.
I used my power of persuasion. I would tell them that they were all my girls and that I loved them.
I would convince them that they were just offering their bodies, but that their hearts belong to me.
It would be easy money…I could take care of them and nobody would hurt them.
I was their protector and they were my girls.
One night, one of my girls went back home, with a black eye, a cut lip and bruises on her arms…and she was crying.
"What the hell happened to you? I asked her in an angry voice.
"He beat me Edward. He grabbed me by the arms, slapped and punched me…I kicked him in the balls and I ran away…" Lizzie added in a clipped voice…
"Okay, baby, calm down. Let me see your eye and your lip…"
I went to get some ice in the fridge and an ointment to put on her lip.
I was furious and almost out of control, but I kept my rage inside.
"Now, baby…put the ice on your eye…and here…put this ointment on your lip…I am going to wait for Renée…she will be here soon… And I am going to see that bastard…No fucking way a man would beat my girls"…I added in a smooth voice.
"No please Edward don't go…That guy is violent…He will hurt you…"
"Nobody is going to hurt me baby…Don't be afraid…He is the one who will get hurt…"
As soon as Renée came in, I went out. I knew where to find that man. He was a regular client at the Pussycat bar…
I parked the Volvo in a dark space, at a fair distance from the bar, and I entered the bar. He was sitting on a stool and drinking a beer.
I walked directly to the bar and sat next to him.
"Hey hello Marcus…How was your night? Did you enjoy your evening?"
"Hey, Masen…I am happy to see you…By the way…That bitch you sent me…What's her name again?...Lizzie…She doesn't know how to do a blow job…Fuck…Teach her how to do it! ..." The little bitch almost bit me…"
"Oh…sorry about that Marcus…Come outside…I have another gift for you…She is waiting for you in my car."
"Oh…okay…just let me finish my beer…"
"No, no time for the beer…Let me pay your bill and let's go outside…"
"Okay…I follow you…I hope the other girl is better that the slut you sent me."
"No problem man…She is the best…Now come…"
He followed me to the car…It was dark and nobody was in sight.
He looked in the car and saw that there was not a living soul sitting in the car.
"Where the fuck is she? Marcus said in an angry voice.
"There is nobody here Marcus, except you and me…So you like beating girls…" I snapped at him.
"She didn't know what to do with her fucking mouth…I paid for a blow job…All I could feel were her fucking teeth…"
"Shut your fucking mouth…You beat my girl…and nobody touches my girls…
I grabbed him by the shoulders and began to punch him…The harder he tried to defend himself…the harder I punched him …His face was covered with blood and I didn't fucking mind…I grabbed him by the balls and squeezed them the harder I could…and I broke his arm…
"Now remember… you fucking bastard…if ever I heard about you…if ever you touch one of my girls…I am going to fucking kill you…and don't even try to go to the police…I know some guys would be willing to rip your balls off…Do you understand?...Now get out of my sight…right now…before I break your other arm…"
I pushed him on the sidewalk, slipped in my Volvo, turned on the ignition, revved the engine angrily and drove back to my girls' apartment.
BELLA
Flashback (Bella sixteen years old to seventeen years old)
The first four nights, I stayed in a dilapidated hotel room. It was sordid and dirty. It was almost unfit for habitation. It smelled old carpets, humidity, mildew, tobacco and sex.
At least, I was not on the streets. I had a place to sleep and a place to take a shower.
It didn't last long…Two hundred dollars was not a lot of money when you had to pay for a room and to buy food.
On the fifth night, as I couldn't pay the room, the owner threw me out.
Now I was on the streets and I began to seek for refuges; some provided fair enough good services but other ones were bad.
Some of them offered rooms for homeless people like me. But sometimes, there were no rooms available, so I just stayed there for the day, and would eat the meals they would kindly offer to us. I loved 'Le bon Dieu dans la rue' and 'La Mission Bon accueil'. Those were good refuges and the people who worked there were nice people.
Some nights, there were no rooms for me; I would sleep on the streets. I would seek for abandoned houses, interior garages and any places that would protect me from the rain and the cold.
I would go to some restaurants and I would thrash cans to get some food.
One night when there was no place at the refuge, I got acquainted with a gang of punks who lived in a squat house.
They were all squeegee people and I followed them during the days and began to do squeegism.
Unsolicited windows washing was not something accepted by the law, but it was mostly tolerated.
The cops tried to ignore us, but sometimes we would meet some policemen who would be more intolerant. So they gave us contraventions for public nuisance…which we wouldn't pay because the money we earned was just sufficient enough to buy food and sometimes weed.
I began to offer sexual services as well…just blow jobs…nothing more…
I hated every single minute of it, and I hated myself for doing it, but I had to survive and it was additional money.
There was a boy in the gang who was kind of my protector.
He was tall and heavy muscled…And he was nice.
His name was Max and he followed me every time I was with a client.
I recruited the clients on the streets. And it was always in the client's car.
Max waited for me, not far for from the car, and we shared the money I received from the client.
Sometimes, I would go back to the refuge and sometimes I was lucky enough to have a room. And Max was always with me. Then, just the fact to have a room for the night and to take a shower, I was almost happy.
It went on like this for six months.
One night, when I was with a client, the police arrested me and the client was arrested as well for being with a minor.
Three days later, I was sent to 'Le Centre Jeunesse De Montréal'. It was a detention centre for run away minors just like me.
I stayed there for three weeks, before a counsellor told me, that a certain Esme Cullen had been looking for me, and that she wanted me back with her.
I was in shock. Esme wanted me back, but I was not sure if I wanted to go back to live with her. Was Jason Jenks still living with her? If so, I wouldn't go back to her house.
I asked the permission to call her.
When, I heard her voice, I started to cry, and she was crying too. She told me that she had been looking for me for the past six months.
She told me that Jason was not living with them anymore. He had been arrested because he also had sexually abused Heidi, who was one of the other girls living with us, and that he was in detention since the day I left the house.
And she told me that she was coming to fetch me the next morning.
"No way will you stay there more than twenty-four hours. Tomorrow afternoon, you will be with me. I love you Bella. You shouldn't have left the house. You should have spoken to me. You are like a daughter to me. I love you darling."
"I love you too Esme. I am so sorry."
"Don't be sorry Bella. None of this was your fault. Jason was a rotten apple. I should have watched him…I should have been more perceptive…You don't know how guilty I feel…
"Don't blame yourself Esme…" It is none of your fault either. You just wanted to help. You didn't know how bad he was."
"I know honey…I know…We will talk about it tomorrow…See you…"
"Okay, Esme…I am going to wait for you…"
"Bye Isabella."
"Bye Esme. See you tomorrow."
The next morning I was ready and waiting.
The hours passed and I was getting more and more impatient.
The afternoon passed and I was still waiting.
The evening passed and I had no news. Why wasn't Esme here? She said she was going to be at the centre in the afternoon, and it was 9:00, and she was not here.
I asked the counsellor if I could call her. There was no answer.
The counsellor tried to calm me down. I was a real bunch of nerves and impatience.
Maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe she didn't want me anymore.
I went to bed at eleven. No news from Esme and I was terribly worried.
The next morning, the counsellor called me in his office.
He asked me to sit down and just by the look I saw in his eyes, I knew that there was something wrong.
"Bella…I have bad news for you…"
"What? ...What's going on? Where is Esme?" I asked him, almost yelling.
"Esme won't come Bella. She has been involved in a car accident."
"What? ...Is she hurt? ... I want to see her." Please, let me see her."
"She is dead Bella…I am so sorry."
I screamed and cried…Impossible…Esme was dead; my heart was hammering in my chest; a knot of painful emotions was in my throat…I lost my control and then everything went black.
End of chapter 4
A/N: Poor Bella…How much more pain can she endure? How can life be so hard?
And Edward…He seems to be a sort of nice guy…but he is not…He is selfish and bad. Using girls, the way he is…He doesn't love any of them. He loves his power.
Tell me what you think…I love to read your comments…Share your thoughts with me…
Give me love and review…I will reply…
PS: Le Bon Dieu Dans La Rue, La Mission Bon Accueil and Le Centre de Jeunesse De Montréal are real institutions. They help young teenagers and adults who are homeless…
I wrote another fanfiction story…The title is MY ALL…check on my profile for the link.
Love you France xxx