A/N: Hello to my readers. Thanks to all of you who review, alert and fav and give me their supports.
My mother tongue is French. I try to write a text with no mistakes. I truly love English and my ultimate goal is to master the language.
The characters belong to S.M. I love your stories. In HOPE, they belong to me.
HOPE
Chap.5
THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE
BELLA
Flashback (Bella…seventeen)…and Present time… (Bella...eighteen years old)
I went to Esme's funerals. It was, I think, the saddest day of my fucking life. The only person who ever cared for me was dead. She was in a hole, under the ground. The pain was all over my face. My eyes were filled with tears, and I was so full of sorrow. I was drowning in my own pain. I felt empty and dead. I was missing her presence so much. It was like there was a big hole in my chest. My lungs seemed to miss air. As if there was not enough air within. Esme was gone and I was alone again.
There were people around me but I didn't see them. As if they were nonentities.
I was living in Le Centre de La Jeunesse de Montréal. And I was on the list for a new foster home.
I felt depressed and utterly sad. The therapists, the psychologists and the counsellors tried to talk to me but I was not collaborating. I was grieving Esme, and there were no words strong enough they could tell me, that could soothe my physical and moral suffer. I wandered around like a lost soul; I was the shadow of my former self.
Six months after Esme's death, I was sent to a new foster home, still grieving, still depressed.
I didn't like that foster home either. I was more of a domestic than a fostered teenager.
I did every chore they asked me to do and kept my mouth shut.
I washed the floors, cleaned the house and took care of the younger kids.
I cooked the meals and that was the only time I almost enjoyed myself.
The foster parents were severe but at least there was no beating in that house.
Money they received from the state was their only interest, and as long as our chores were done, they didn't bother us.
I refused to go to school and they didn't force me to go to.
My only pastime was reading. There was a library near the house, and when I had free time, I would go and choose books dealing with any kinds of topics.
My life was boring, dull and sad. I knew someday, I would resurface. I didn't know how and I didn't know when. Maybe, deep in my heart there was still hope for a better life.
I stayed with The Volturi for six months. The day of my birthday was the day Aro and Renata Volturi threw me out of the house. The government was not giving money to foster parents when the kid reached the age of eighteen. So as I was no more of interest for them, they simply asked me to leave.
I was now again on the streets with a backpack and fifty dollars.
I took a cab and asked the man to drive me to 'La Mission Bon Accueil'.
Luckily for me, there were rooms available. I asked to talk to a counsellor and a woman went to fetch Mrs. Cope.
Mrs. Cope was a fifty years old woman, with short brown hair and deep blue eyes.
She was a nice and charming woman.
As soon as we were in her office, she offered me a coffee and we began to talk.
And I talked for hours. I told her about my life. I told her about my mom who was a drug addict and a whore. I told her about the different foster homes I've been sent to. I told her about the neglect, the battering and the sexual abuses. I told her about my life with Esme, and of the happiness that was in my heart when I was living with her. And I told her about the shadow. I told her about my life on the streets and the way I was earning money when I was on my own.
Mrs. Cope listened to me and there were tears in her eyes.
I talked and she listened without interrupting me.
I told her that I didn't want to go back on the streets. I wanted to work, to get a place of my own and to get some instruction. I, at least, wanted to complete Secondary Five, which was the last year in high school.
I told her that I had two goals in my life…evidently hiding from her that I had a third one…revenge…But that was something I was going to keep secret…I wanted a better life, and I would do everything in my power to do so.
But I needed help. I couldn't do it alone.
The next morning, Mrs. Cope came with me to her brother's restaurant. She knew he was looking for new staff, and she would do anything in her power to convince him to employ me.
I had no experience whatsoever, but I knew I was able to work in a restaurant. It was not a problem serving people and I could even help in the kitchen.
Felix Cope was a nice man and he accepted to employ me. At least, he would give me the chance to work and to see if I was able to do the job.
Our next stop was at one of Carmen Cope's friend. She had a house and rented rooms to women.
Angela Weber was forty years old. She was a beautiful woman with long black hair and green eyes.
I was lucky again. There was a room available. But there was a condition though. No men were allowed in her house. It was not a brothel and even a boyfriend would not be tolerated. And I didn't mind at all. My heart was closed for any kind of love relationship.
The marks the shadow had left on me were deep in my heart, and I despised the idea of even being touched.
Carmen Cope paid for the room…a month at her own expense.
I was embarrassed but I accepted with the promise to pay her back.
There were three angels in my life now; Carmen Cope, her brother Felix and her friend Angela.
Maybe life had decided to give me a chance. And I was ready to give myself a chance.
EDWARD
Present time … (Edward eighteen years old)
"Okay, girls sit down…Here are your schedules for tonight…"
Lizzie, Renée, Senna, Chelsea, Zafrina and Tia sat around the table.
"Renée, you have four clients. Senna, you have three. Chelsea, you have four, Tia, you have three and Zafrina you have one. You know Garrett and his particular tastes and he loves to spend the entire night with a girl…so…It will be just one for you."
"And Lizzie you are going to spend the night with me. You still have those bruises and I want all of them to be healed before you work. "
"And tomorrow, there will be no work for any of you. You have you blood tests in the morning and I think you all have a right to a day off… And I want you to get new clothes, so let's take a break."
"Oh! Nice, Edward…Thank you…they all answered almost at the same time.
My girls were on oral contraceptives and they always had condoms in their purses.
And they also had to have blood tests every six months. I never was entirely sure of the clients who wanted my girls and I didn't want to take any chances with my girls' health; as far as transmission of sexual diseases were something at risk.
"So Lizzie as you spend the night with me…What you would like to do? ... Anything special you are thinking of?"
"I would like to go outside if you don't mind…There's a movie I would like to see."
"Okay…Which movie would you like to see?" I asked Lizzie in a smooth voice.
"Dear John…It's a romantic story though…Do you mind Edward? …"
"Let's go for 'Dear John'… a little romance is not bad from time to time."
"Do you want to go to the restaurant before?"…It is your night baby…It is for you to decide…"
"Okay Edward…I would like to go to La Stanza…I love the chicken gratin they served there. "
"Okay for La Stanza then". I answered.
"Tia…Can you make up Lizzie's face and hide the bruises she has on her face. " I don't want those marks to be visible. Try to do your best and hide them." I asked Tia in a velvety voice.
Tia and Lizzie went in the bathroom. The other girls went to their bedroom to get prepared for their work.
I knew how to treat me girls. Every night, a girl stayed with me, if I was not busy with my other jobs; recruiting new girls for the gang, selling drugs, stealing houses or stealing cars. I had meetings with the gang too.
Business was good. I knew it was dirty money, but I still didn't give a shit.
And I had a lot of money…I had enough money to buy a house and I was beginning to think about it. A house would mean more space and I could have more girls working for me…And I could live with them permanently…
But sometimes when I was alone in the apartment, I was thinking of my life.
What would be my life like if I had lived a normal childhood? If those fucking bastards had not ruined my life and destroyed my self esteem.
I was intelligent, I knew it…Maybe, I would have gone to the university and become a doctor…I always loved medical sciences.
Maybe I would have studied in music or arts…I always loved arts…and I loved music…
But no…Those bullies had ruined my life…and when I thought about it…I felt this rage in my heart…some days, I would pay them back…An eye for an eye…a tooth for a tooth…I would make sure they would suffer…
And I didn't like those thoughts…I didn't like to think about the life I was living now…
Sometimes, I was feeling bad…I was feeling guilty…
Then, I would take weed and try to push those thoughts away…but they kept coming…from time to time…
The girls were now ready to meet their clients.
I had my cell phone with me and I told them to call me if ever there was a problem.
I wished them a good night and went out of the apartment with Lizzie.
When I took one of my girls out on a date, there was anybody in the world more important than her.
She was my princess for the night and I was her prince.
We looked like two lovers and I wanted us to look that way.
I held her hand and kissed her. Tonight was Lizzie's night.
All my attention was concentrated on her.
I would take her to restaurant she wanted. We would go to watch that movie and after the movie we would go back to the apartment, take a shower together and we would make love.
The next night it would be Tia's turn.
And it would be special for her too.
That was the way I treated my girls…as long as they listened to me. I was their master…and they belong to me…
Maybe, deep inside I was guilty and ashamed…
But, this was my life…That was the life I had to deal with…Maybe my choices were bad…
They certainly were…but I would keep on living like this until the day I would take my revenge.
And after, I didn't know what my life would be like… only God knew…
End of chapter 5
A/N: Bella is now on her own…Maybe life is finally giving her a chance…
She has a new job, she found a place to live and she dreams of completing high school…
Edward is still living his life and accepting his choices…but deep inside he is not feeling so well…he begins to question himself….and he feels guilty…
But both of them didn't forget their ultimate goal…..revenge…
Tell me what you think…will they pursue their goal? …or will they forget and forgive? ...And will they find happiness and peace…?
I love to read your comments…
Love you
France xxx