[Hello, my readers! It's been a long time(ha, haha, I made a pun) since the last update, mainly due to my focusing on my other story: Put On Your War Paint. I apologize for that, but due to a recent surgery which means no walking for a month, I have a lot of time to write. As such, I intend to update a little more often. I had a lot of fun coming up with this AU and planned it out in my head. So, there is little to no chance of me completely abandoning it.

I am going to attempt writing this while taking care of my other story, but I have a feeling that, due to the fact that it has a larger following, I will pay more attention to it.

As such, it will probably end end first as well. TL;DR, Updates here will be few and far between, and not on any sort of schedule. But as soon as my other story is done, this will be my priority.

Please enjoy the story!

"That right there is a box. I'm not entirely certain if you know what a box is, considering your annoyingly below-par intelligence quotient. Allow me to describe it for you."

"I know what a box is," Callaghan snapped, doing his best not to lose his temper with the increasingly irritating voice. "You don't have to explain."

"Are you sure? Because I'd be more than happy to shove some information into that vastly empty monkey brain of yours."

When Callaghan didn't reply, the voice responded with a very dramatic, mechanical sigh.

"Very well. Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Scintilla Innovations Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button."

Frowning in the voice's general direction-which was everywhere-Robert moved to pick up the large cube and attempted to drag it through the glowing orange portal on the wall, reminding himself all the while that it was just a computer.

"You're going to have to pick it up if you want to get it through there, Robert," the voice crooned, in what almost could have passed for sympathy.

"Maybe if you make these things a little lighter," he replied, grunting as he pulled it off the ground. Years in the military lent a hand in bringing the cube-How much did this thing weigh?!-over the edge of the portal.

"Oh, but Robert, you know I wouldn't be able to do that. That would be bad science."

"It really wouldn't. You could just-" As he continued to insist, the cube hit the large red button on the floor, opening the door to an elevator.

"Congratulations. You've somehow managed to put your primitive ape-brain to something useful for once. I mean, not that peeling a banana with your feet isn't useful, at least to a monkey, but-"

"You know what would be impressive? If you shut up."

There were a few moments of silence as the older man got into the elevator, remembering a warning involving blood leaking out of one's ears, then the voice reappeared.

"If you insist, Professor."

And suddenly Callaghan froze midstep as an intense wave of deja vu washed over him. The voice suddenly seemed overwhelmingly familiar, the lilt at the end of his sentence bringing him to a dim lab with several scientists crowded around a computer.

"Your algorithm is off, Dr. Tanaka."

"My algorithm is just fine, Professor," a young woman with shoulder length black hair laughed quietly, punching him gently in the shoulder. "I think that maybe you need glasses."

"I have glasses," Callaghan insisted, wincing inwardly at the reminder that he isn't as young as he used to be. "I'm just not wearing them."

"And why not?" This came from a man of roughly the same height as the first woman, with red-blond hair that was combed neatly and gelled.

"Mainly because they make me look like an old man," Robert admitted with a sheepish smile.

"You say that like you aren't," the man teased, pulling at his own tie and straightening it.

"Watch it, Mr. Lee. You don't wear a young man's clothes either, as we can tell by your smart suit."

"I know," he said with a grin that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm pushing the big Three-Zero."

"Speaking of which…" A much younger man with long black hair walked to the man's side, nudging him sharply with his elbow. "What's with the getup, Fred? You look like James Bond."

"Hey, little dude. James Bond is cool."

"Whatever," another voice laughed. The youngest member of the group was joined by a taller scientist, his eyes a light shade of brown that seemed almost orange. "You can come to work in your pajamas, just so long as you get the job done."

"I'm going to hold you to that," Fred laughed, the corners of his eyes finally crinkling with amusement. "Anything to not look old."

"I wish I looked the age I did when I first thought I looked old," Callaghan remarked with a sigh. "It's not fair."

"Life rarely is," a tall blonde replied promptly, a teasing grin lighting up her features.

A large scientist with a green shirt and gloves shoved her gently with his shoulder. "Says the woman who still looks twenty."

"It's not my fault everyone else looks old, Wasabi," she shot back.

"Are you sure? I'm still not convinced that you didn't slip some weird chemical combination into our coffee to make us look five years older than we are."

"Except for Hiro's," Dr. Tanaka interjected, grinning slyly at the black-haired scientist with the gap in his teeth. "He still looks 17."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Hiro said with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

"It's not," Wasabi grumbled, shooting the younger man a glare. "It's a very good thing that makes me question if you're actually human."

Suddenly several eyes were locked on the larger scientist, and his eyes grew wide. "I- I didn't-"

"Why did you feel the need to bring that up?"

"I- I just-"

"Human isn't defined by chemical makeup-"

"You don't need to defend me, professor, he didn't mean any harm."

"Regardless."

"And I'm not human, it's okay-"

Callaghan's eyes locked onto those that belonged to the man who had spoken, determined and insistent. "Don't say that."

The man stared back, then let out a soft sigh of resignation.

"If you insist, Professor."

"Who are you?"

"I am your supervisor."

Callaghan frowned, shaking his head as if to clear it. "No, not like that, what's your name?"

"I am an Artificial Intelligence. I don't need a name, genius."

"You have to have one though," he insisted, glaring at the nearest speaker in his line of sight. "You're not like any sort of AI I've ever seen. You have a personality, free will. Even basic Intelligences have names. Of a sort. What's yours?"

There was a long stretch of silence, and for the longest time, Robert worried that the voice had vanished. He considered the notion of never hearing the voice again, then it spoke with a certain reluctance and irritation.

"I am the Catastrophe Analysis, Transferral, and Reanimation In Number Arrangement system."

Callaghan was silent as he put together the acronym.

Then it hit him, and he started cracking up.

"So your name…"

"Shut up."

"Your name is Catrina?"

"Shut up right now."

"Or Catarina, I suppose…"

"I'm warning you."

Callaghan could almost picture the wave of humiliation and indignance washing over the very obviously deep male voice. "Who decided to give you your voice? Someone with a sense of humor, I'm guessing."

"I have the ability to dump you in a pool of acid."

"Okay," Robert wheezed, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "I can deal with Catrina."

There was something that sounded vaguely like a growl, then: "If you call me Catrina, I can and will murder you."

Robert put his hands up in what was meant to be a placating gesture, then shook his head, laughing. "Okay. What's the male version of Catrina?"

The voice didn't respond, which he took to mean that the voice didn't know, then it replied. "The closest thing I can think of is Cato."

"Okay. Cato it is, then. Nice to meet you… Catrina," Robert half sputtered out before laughing again.

"It's a pleasure," the voice replied with a tone that implied that it was quite possibly the farthest thing from a pleasure that it could think of.

[I really love this chapter in particular. Mainly because I know what the voice is, and the name Catrina doesn't fit him very well. xD

I hope you enjoyed, please leave me a review to let me know how I did, and whether you would like to see more of this!

Oblivious Out~! *scoots out of the frame*]