Response to reviews!
Phantom: Well, he does have an attitude, and no, it doesn't count as animal abuse if Grimmjow gets his ass kicked! He's an arrancar, so it doesn't count! XD
Strawberry-Ringo: Yeah…I know…*sigh*
Miszxbrii: lol so dirty~! XD On another thought, thanks!
Yukiko and Chibiussa: WAHHH! I is sorry! Please don't kill me! …Wait, I know I said I posted a new story back in Chapter either 16 or 17 of Unexpected Existence…hmm… Also…*gives pocky to Yukiko and Chibiussa* Here ya go!
BonneNuit: You really think I'm that good?
hehehehehohohoProductions0: That's ok, I'm nuts for writing this!
HannahGee13: I like it too! Even if it's Ichi suffering…*sniffle*
TealEyedBeing: Yeah, I know…*cries* Sometimes I wish I didn't have the guts to do these things…
Aww, c'mon, everyone, I ain't that good an author. I've read some that are so much better than me! *sniffle* I'm so touched! Even if it's an evil fic like this one, you all still enjoy it! Thank you so much! *bows* But I don't really deserve it…anyways, here's Chapter 4! *captain's pose with TealEyedBeing* Also, there will be small yaoi here, not quite yet! Hee hee~! I do love making you all wait!
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Chapter 4:Realizing feelings and burning agony…
Rukia's POV
Present…
I watched as Shiro seemed to shake in his seat. It was like just thinking about all of this made him hurt. But then again, only he and Ichigo knew what happened to them, and just by looking at Ichigo's horrid state, it wasn't pleasant. "We…we didn't know what to do. The entire time Grimmjow was out of that room, we spent it trying to think of ways to get out…" Shiro said quietly as he sipped his tea.
"So…what did he do exactly, after he got back?" I asked, trying not to push him. I know we all wanted to know what happened, but it was obviously traumatic. We had to take things slowly, but by what happened next, I guess I pushed it a little too far. He gave us all an, I don't know, fuzzy stare? It looked like he couldn't remember it well.
"I…I'm not sure…" he said and looked up, lost in thought. Suddenly his body shook violently. He dropped his cup and it made a harsh crashing noise, but nothing as bad as the wailing from him. "No Please, it burns! Stop beating him…it burns him!" he cried out. Orihime and I tried to calm him, but he began flailing around. His eyes were glazed and unfocused again, lost in his torturous memories.
"Shiro! Stop, you'll-" I tried snapping him out of it, but he was covering his ears and screaming, his eyes closed as if trying to shut us out.
"No! Don't do that…not that! It hurts…god it hurts him so! Please!" he screamed as if he was still in agony. I didn't know what he was remembering, but whatever it was, it had to be painful, either to watch, or feel. Kisuke walked up and placed his hand over Shiro's horrified face. After a second, his thrashing stopped and he fell asleep.
"I think you should all go home and get some sleep." He told us. I didn't want to leave, but I knew that the Kurosaki family would worry about me, and the storm had let up.
"But Kisuke, are you sure we can trust… 'it'?" Renji asked. God I wanted to smack him. He was being really insensitive about all of this! I glared at Renji, but he ignored it.
"They are both in bad shape. I think some rest will do the hollow good. Besides, Renji…" he turned and locked eyes with him. "…he has a heart. If you haven't been able to tell by the way he acts, I'm slightly disappointed." Renji sighed and in my head I couldn't help but think 'Yay Kisuke!'
"Fine, but I still think that trusting that thing is a bad idea." He said before storming out the door.
"Asshole…" I grumbled under my breath. Kisuke chuckled slightly and lifted the albino in his arms. Shiro let out a distressed muffle and tossed slightly; almost causing Kisuke to drop him Kisuke placed a hand gently on his forehead and pulled it away just as quickly. My guess was that the hollow had a high fever from the look on Kisuke's face. "Are you going to put him with Ichigo?" I asked him. Shiro shifted again, his breathing quickening suddenly and he began to whimper.
"I think that's for the best." He said. I nodded and walked out of the store. As I walked down the street, I shivered as I remembered seeing his eyes; full of horror, agony, and sorrow. He was a hollow, yet seeing all those emotions in his eyes made me shiver.
What, or who, could have caused all of this? I wondered…
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Normal POV
3 weeks before…
Ichigo looked up sleepily as Grimmjow walked in. Uh oh…he thought and sat up slowly. "What the hell do you want now?" he asked. Grimmjow instantly smacked him across his face, sending him sprawling on the floor.
"Shut it and come with me." Grimmjow growled. Ichigo rubbed his cheek and spat.
"Screw you…" Grimmjow was suddenly lifting him up in the air by his hair and whispered close to his ear.
"Oh, don't tempt me, Kurosaki…" he whispered. Ichigo froze at the sudden huskiness of his tone.
Ichigo, be cautious… his hollow whispered in his mind. I don't like the way he's looking at you… Grimmjow threw him back on the ground and walked towards the door.
"Hurry up!" he called.
"No way in hell!" Ichigo called back. Grimmjow snarled and pulled out the controls to his shackles. He pressed another button and Ichigo could feel his entire back burn. "AHHH!" he cried out as he curled into a ball the floor. It felt like his spine was bending, causing his entire body to curl painfully.
I…Ichigo! Shiro cried out, but Ichigo couldn't hear him through the odd buzzing noise in his head.
"GYAH!" He continued to scream as the burning grew worse. It suddenly stopped and he shivered, his limbs twitching violently.
"Are you done now?" Grimmjow asked. He didn't receive a reply, but then again, he didn't expect one. He picked Ichigo up by his arm and looked at him. His face was slightly blank, his arm twitching slightly in his grip. "Tch. How pathetic. I guess this is what happens when you're spiritual pressure is cut off from you almost completely." He sighed and dragged Ichigo down the hall. After a moment, Ichigo found his footing again and began to move his feet across the floor even as Grimmjow continued to drag him.
Ichigo…are you ok? Shiro asked worriedly.
Y-yeah, I think so… he thought back. But when he still felt those waves of concern from his hollow, he smiled gently. Don't worry; it'll take more than that to knock me down completely. He said reassuringly. Shiro calmed down a little, but he could tell that he was still concerned. When they finally stopped moving, Ichigo noticed that he had led them into another room.
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Ichigo's POV
It was dark in this room too, but nothing like my cell. It was dimly lit, but the walls were dark. Man, talk about depressing! As we walked in, our sandals made odd noises on the ground, like something was sticking to them some. There was a hook connected to a thick chain hanging from the ceiling. Grimmjow pulled my arm roughly and yanked me towards the chain. "What the fuck are you doing?" I yelled. He pulled the chain down and hooked the wire he had placed on my cuffs earlier to the hook dangling from the ceiling. I tried to struggle off of it, but he just laughed.
"Give it up. You're just a little too weak for that." He chuckled as he lifted the chain up again, causing me to be completely lifted off the ground. "You can 'hang' there for a second while I go and get some things." He said and left the room. I just hung there, unsure of what to do. I mean, normally, I'm fairly optimistic, but this situation…seemed a little bleak.
Ichigo, you need to think positive…Shiro told me. I laughed.
"Why?" I asked.
'Cause it rains when you're sad or upset…he whispered. I…hate it when it rains here… I felt bad for him, I really did. I mean, if I were the one trapped in there…alone in the rain, I'd hate it too, probably even be scared of it!
"Sorry, but how can I be positive like this?" I asked him, staring at the floor beneath me. That's when I froze. The floor…it was covered in blood. It wasn't mine and it was old and dry, but still… That's what was sticking to my feet too…damn…
Ichigo? Is something wrong? Shiro asked me quietly.
"Can't you see all of this?" I snapped. It took him a moment before I heard him whimper.
Oh my god…he whispered. After a few minuets, Grimmjow walked back in, but not alone. A small arrancar walked in carrying what looked like a bucket, but smoke was coming from it. I didn't like this, not one bit. The smell that was coming from it was enough to make me sick. Grimmjow must've noticed because he smirked at me.
"Heh, you're pathetic…" he whispered and shooed the little arrancar out. He then held out what looked like a pair of claws that fit on his knuckles, almost like knuckle braces. He dipped them into the foul smelling liquid and walked up to me. He suddenly tore off the top of my shihakusho.
"Wh-what the hell?" I gasped, unable to hide some of my fear. I mean, hanging off the floor with an Espada in the room and he tore off your shirt, how would you feel?
Ichigo! My hollow cried out, his voice was full of fear, but I barely even noticed. I was only focused on the blades on his fists, dripping with that disgusting liquid.
"Will ya submit, Ichigo?" he whispered as he pulled me towards him. The blades grazed my cheek slightly, and I could feel heat radiating from them. Even through my frightened mind I knew what to say to him.
"Fuck off, dickhead!" I snapped. He grinned at me, his eyes flaring with hatred.
"Very well." That's when he took his first swing at my bare chest.
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Normal POV
Grimmjow swung at his bare chest, leaving jagged claw marks across the skin. Although it had stung, the wounds themselves didn't hurt. Ichigo gave Grimmjow a confused stare.
"What? Is that really all you wanted to do?" he asked and started laughing. "I guess you just don't have it in ya!"
"If I were you, I would stop laughing…" Grimmjow said darkly. Ichigo continued to stare at him funny. Suddenly, there was a sharp, burning sensation on, no, in and all around his chest It was like someone was trying to burn him from the inside of his chest and trying to break out. He cried out as the feeling grew, becoming more painful every second. "Like it? It's a little something that Szayel cooked up." He walked around and dug the claws deep into Ichigo's back and pulled down, creating more jagged marks, these digging farther in and tearing his back up.
"GYAHHH!" Ichigo cried out in agony as the burning grew worse and seemed to corrode his skin.
"It's not acid, but it's supposed to feel like acid is burning your insides, without causing any actual damage to your skin." Grimmjow explained, but only Shiro could hear him. Ichigo couldn't concentrate on anything but the pain that was coursing through his body. He grinned as he swung again, hitting Ichigo's torso. The same burning sensation shot through him again, worsening with each strike.
Ichigo! Shiro screamed, but he didn't hear him. He continued to cry out in agony as Grimmjow continued his assault.
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Shiro's POV
His world was burning. The entire city was on fire because he was in agony. It was so hot…and he was in so much agony! The windows around me were cracking and breaking as his screams filled the air. "AHHHH!"
"King!" I screamed, but he couldn't hear my calls. Every strike that Espada made, every scar, made the burning worsen. But his inner world was being affected at such an alarming rate, I had no clue what was going on…
"You see…not only does this affect your body, but your mind as well…" Grimmjow continued to explain. " In reqlity, that burning you're feeling is all in your head. So I'm sure that hollow of yours is burning too…" Another strike, this time to my King's cheek. I could tell because I literally felt where he struck; it just didn't hurt because of my great intolerance to pain. But I was in pain…my entire body hurt, not just due to the heat, but in my heart. My King was in agony and there wasn't a single thing I could do. Finally, the blows subsided, but the burning didn't.
"King! Can ya hear me?" I called out to him again.
"Ngh…" was my reply as Grimmjow grabbed his arms ad unhooked him from the ceiling. I quickly knelt towards one of the windows that weren't cracked to see what was going on. He was dragging Ichigo back to the cell. I looked at King a little closer; Grimmjow had placed a gag in his mouth, which would explain why he wasn't screaming anymore.
Oh Ichigo…I thought sadly. His state was disturbing; I hated seeing him like this. Grimmjow threw him into the cell, as well as the rest of his clothes and closed the door. This time, a small amount of light shone in due to the little door on the top of the main door.
"Enjoy the after-affects, Ichigo…" Grimmjow whispered from the door and he walked away. After a few seconds, Ichigo suddenly gasped and began to curl up in a ball.
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"Ichigo!" I cried out.
Sh…Shiro… he whimpered, yes, whimpered my name in his head. He suddenly gave out a sharp cry as a nasty burning sensation shot through, but this felt…different. Although it wasn't affecting me or his inner world, this time it was just pure pain. But the pain was real now, not in his head, and it made his scars itch. He suddenly tried scratching his wounds, causing them to bleed.
"Ichigo, stop! You'll just make yourself worse!" I screamed at him, but he couldn't hear me. I hated this; I tried calling to him, but he couldn't hear. It's not like he was ignoring me, it's just that he was in a lot of pain and that blocks my voice. I needed to get to him, help him somehow! But…how could I? I was trapped…trapped in his mind. Please…I need to get to him! I thought desperately. I want to help him! I closed my eyes and, instinctively, forced my own spiritual on myself. "Please! Please Please Please!" I screamed. I focused on getting to him, focused on helping him. Suddenly, I felt a cold burst of air hit my face. What the…? I opened my eyes to find myself in Ichigo's cell! How did I do that? I wondered.
"Mmph…" I turned to look at Ichigo. He looked worse than he had a few minuets ago. His fingers were covered in blood with skin stuck in his nails. He was still scratching at himself, eye wide and slightly unfocused because of the pain. I sat in front of him and waved some, but he didn't seem to see me.
"Oh, Ichigo…" I whispered. I looked around the cell, looked for anything to help him. There was a small bed in the corner of the room, and, surprisingly enough, a bathroom. I ran in as quickly as I saw it. There was a small shower and sink, and a toilet. Thank god for that. There were some torn towels and rags inside as well. I grabbed one of them and ran it under cold water.
"Mmph! HMM!" I heard Ichigo gasp from the other room and ran in. He was curled up again, the burning feeling getting worse. Tears were beginning to from in his eyes. I picked him up, gently, and put him on the bed. His eyes dilated as I tried to remove his gag and he struggled against me.
"King! It's me!" I yelled at him. He struggled as I tried to pin his arms down so he'd stop hurting himself, but his struggling grew worse.
"Stop! They hurt! Leave me alone!" he screamed. After a minuet of struggling, I managed to tie his arms to the bedpost with his gag and grabbed the washrag. I tenderly touched his scarred chest and he let out a sharp cry.
"AHH!" he cried and I flinched back. But as I washed the blood away, he sighed and his eyes regained their focus. He looked around slightly and noticed me.
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Normal POV
Ichigo's eyes widened at the sight of his hollow. He was like a ghost, see through and a little more pale than usual. His golden eyes shone with concern. "King?" he asked quietly. Ichigo nodded slowly and looked at his arms.
"Did…did you tie me up?" he asked, slightly confused. Shiro nodded and untied him.
"You were struggling unconsciously when I tried helping you. Sorry about that…" he whispered as he held the rag up to his face.
"It's…it's nothing…sorry…." He said and turned away from the look in his hollows eyes. The look in his eyes was of concern, but something else as well, and that look made him feel uncomfortable. He felt Shiro's ghost-like hands touch his cheek.
"No problem, but, I need you to face the other direction." He said with a smile. Ichigo couldn't help but blush slightly at his smile.
He doesn't look bad when his smile doesn't have malice in it…he thought and almost shook his head. What am I thinking?
"Are you ok Ichigo?" he asked. Ichigo just nodded and turned to face the other direction. Shiro placed the wet rag against his cheek and he hissed slightly. But the itchiness went away as the cold water touched it.
"What do you think…that liquid was?" he asked his hollow, hoping he had an answer. Shiro only shrugged.
"He was right, it wasn't acid, and the only physical damage done was the scars and…when you began to scratch yourself." He replied, not looking at Ichigo's eyes. Ichigo gave him a confused stare.
"I was…doing what?" he asked. Shiro looked at him.
That's right, he was probably in too much pain to realize what he was doing…he told himself. "You were in a lot of pain, but it was all mental…your inner world is proof of that…" he said. He slowly turned Ichigo around so he could tend to his back. Ichigo sighed as the cool water met his scars.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked. But either Shiro didn't hear or didn't want to answer because he stood up and handed him the top of his shihakusho.
"Here." he said and stood against the wall. Ichigo slowly put it back on and stood up. He went to the small bathroom and splashed some water on his face. "Are you gonna be ok now, Ichigo?" Shiro asked, concern evident in his tone. Ichigo nodded again.
"It'll take more than that to make me cave in!" he smiled. He felt his legs shake suddenly and he started to collapse. Shiro caught him as he fell.
"King, you need to rest…" he said. He helped Ichigo to his feet. Ichigo tried to grab his shoulder, but his hand fell through him.
"You…" he gasped. Shiro smiled sadly.
"Guess I'll never truly be in your world, huh Ichigo?" he laughed. Although he laughed, it sounded sad. Ichigo felt his stomach tighten.
What's wrong, Shiro? He thought. Why…why are you sad? He had no idea exactly why he cared, he just did. As Shiro placed him on the bed, he finally realized how tired he was.
"Come to your inner world, Ichigo." He whispered as Ichigo's eyes began to droop. "Nothing can harm you there…" Ichigo managed a nod before falling asleep.
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Ichigo's POV
When I opened my eyes again, I was in my inner world. But it felt…different. When I looked around, smoke seemed to be rising from the buildings, some of the windows cracked, but slowly mending. "Wha…what happened here?" I gasped. I just couldn't believe it…
"It's like Grimmjow said, King." I turned to see Shiro, his back facing me, looking up at the yellowed sky. "All that burning…all the pain was in your mind…" When he looked at me, his eyes were filled with sadness and pain. "I was here…watching your world burn." I couldn't believe this! Was all that pain…really in my head? I shook my head.
"But…why is it all like this now?" I asked.
"You're healing, so your world is too." When I got a better look at him, he seemed tired and…he smelled of smoke as if, in a sense, he too had burned. I wasn't sure if it was him that smelled or the surrounding area.
"Were you…scared or something?" I asked him. The moment I did, however, I realized that that was the wrong thing to say. He practically glared at me.
"Of course I was! You were in pain! Your inner world was burning and cracking!" he snapped angrily. I backed up some and his eyes immediately softened. "Sorry for yelling…I was just…so scared for you…" I couldn't take it anymore!
"Why have you been acting this way? Why have you been helping me, when all you ever wanted was to control me, crush me, devour me and force me to kill everyone? Is this some kind of mental game you're playing?" Even as he tried to speak, I wouldn't let him, I was so pissed and confused! "If it is, it isn't going to work! I don't care how you supposedly 'feel'! You're a hollow, you can't feel!" He looked down at the ground and I suddenly felt horrible. Why…why do I feel like this? That's when I heard him crying.
"Oh but I do…I do feel, Ichigo…" he cried. I felt sick, absolutely sick for yelling at him. I tried walking towards him, but he just backed away. "Ever since we got here, I've been able to feel. And when you gave me my name…" he locked eyes with me and I couldn't move. No…I didn't want to move… I didn't want to stop looking into his endless golden eyes, filled with sorrow and that one emotion I couldn't place. But…slowly, I guess, I was beginning to realize what it was.
"Sh…Shiro…" I whispered his name quietly. I wanted him to stop, to stop crying. I didn't want to see him like this…
"This isn't a mind game, King…I…" He took one small step forward, but then backed away even more. "I…I just don't want to see you in pain like this…"
"Shiro…" he shook his head and turned around. I could still hear him crying…damn, I'm such an insensitive ass!
"I'll…if you don't want me, fine, I'll leave alone from now on…" He slowly started to vanish, and I felt fear well up inside me. He never voluntarily left like this and the sight of him fading away, it made me feel like he was fading forever…
"NO! SHIRO STOP!" I screamed. He became solid again, looking at me with shocked eyes.
"King…" I walked up to him quickly and grabbed his wrist. The feel of his cooler skin on mine was…slightly refreshing and I relaxed some.
"Look, I'm sorry for all of that… I just…I want to know what you feel." I looked into his golden eyes again and this time I felt kinda…I dunno, fuzzy? "Let me help you too, ok? Is there…anything you need my help for?" I asked him. He placed his hand gently on the scars on my cheek. I felt like my entire body froze, waiting for something to happen. My body seemed to know, I think my heart did too, but my mind was utterly clueless.
"I only want one thing from you…" he whispered, his voice gentle and smooth. He cupped my chin in his pale, cool hands. "But…I don't know if you'll give it to me…"
"Well, what is it?" I asked, but I already knew the answer, I was just waiting for him to do it. He leaned in even closer, the space separating us only a few inches.
"This…" he whispered. He then closed the gap between us and kissed me. Now, I thought that I was going to be shocked by this sudden act, but I wasn't. And what was more shocking was that I didn't pull away; I wanted this. I wanted this kiss, just to enforce what I was now feeling for my hollow. The kiss was brief, but I loved it…I loved him. I realized it the moment he pulled away. "That's all I wanted…" he began to walk away, but I didn't let go.
"No…stay put, I don't…want you to go…" I whispered to him.
"But, King…" I smiled.
"What did I say? Quit calling me that." I told him as I pushed closer to him. He gave me one look and smiled.
"I won't fully…because to me, you are my rightful King…" I just smiled and pulled him into another kiss. I tried to keep control of it, but his natural roughness was getting through and he tried to force his way into my mouth. I gave it to him and the moment our tongues touched, I practically melted away, as cliché as that sounds. Even though his skin was cold, the moment our lips and tongues connected, I felt like I was on fire. After a few minuets, we had to break for air. I looked into his soft, golden pools again and felt at home in them.
"Please…don't leave me…" I whispered to him. I felt really tired, but I had to get these last words out. "I…I love you, Shiro…" He smiled and slowly lowered me to the ground. I rested my head onto his lap as he stroked my hair gently.
"As do I, Ichigo…and I promise, I'll never leave you alone…" he whispered into my ear. I sighed. I couldn't help but think I was lucky to have him, and I slipped into a peaceful darkness. "Sleep well, my Ichigo…" was the last thing I heard him say.
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Chapter 4 end
Holy shit! This is the longest chapter I've done in awhile! 11 Microsoft Word pages! Enjoy the way I slaved for y'all! Review please? I know y'all expected something cruel, but it will come, promise!