CHAPTER 1: Buffy Wakes

*beep*

*beep*

What the hell?

*beep*

Wherever I am, that beeping needs to stop, like, now.

*beep beep*

Buffy tried to groan but it stayed in her throat. Something was in her mouth, up her nose. She started to open her eyes and winced them shut tight.

*beep beep beep beep*

"Buffy?" said a familiar voice. Giles. He squeezed her hand and she realized he was holding it. "Come on, love, wake up. Please."

She hadn't heard that much sadness in his voice since Jenny died. Buffy slowly reached up to her face with her other hand, but he stopped her.

"You have to leave the tubes in until they've checked you over."

She sighed and squeezed his hand. He released her raised hand and she partially covered her eyes. He seemed to understand and started to rise. "I'll just turn off the lights -"

The hospital room's door swung open. The three nurses and doctor who'd been attending Buffy rushed in, ready to check her machines and tubes. They stumbled against each other slightly, gawking.

"She's awake?!"

Giles grinned in a grim fashion and nodded. After twenty minutes of poking and prodding, Buffy's grip on the steel bar on the side of her bed tightened so much that the metal groaned. Giles gently pulled it away from the bed and sandwiched it between his own large hands.

"Would it be possible to let her rest, please? Perhaps give further testing and ask questions at another time?"

The doctor opened his mouth to argue, but the glare he got from Giles silenced him. "Yes, sir. Of course." The nurses all stared at the doctor before filing out of the room, whispering amongst themselves.

"I... hate... hospitals."

Giles chuckled and settled down in the chair that had been his home for the last four days. He stared at her hand, piled between his own, and sighed. He'd been here the entire time, hoping she'd regain consciousness. Planning everything he wanted to say when she did. But now that she was finally awake... now that she was more than a lost cause... he couldn't look at her.

The bruises were still there. Seeing them only reminded him of carrying her broken body to the car. Of leaving Dawn with the others as he sped to the hospital. Hundreds of cuts, large and small, all over her body. Blood everywhere. Blood he'd spilled to save her life.

She took a wheezing breath, shallow and harsh. "Giles?"

He sniffed and raised his eyes, taking in the sight of her. She was so frightened.

"What happened?"

He sighed and looked down at their hands again. "You jumped off the tower to save the world."

"Oh." She blinked a moment then her eyes got big. "Oh! But... wasn't I supposed to die?"

"You did. Several times." Giles looked away, tried to avoid the memories. The horrifying dread he felt as he watched the emergency team resuscitate her three times before her heart would beat on its own.

"Giles..."

He sighed and squeezed her hand. "Buffy, the ritual required your blood stop flowing in order to close. I... I performed a spell or two while you were in the portal. I sped up the process before the energy could take too heavy a toll on your body."

She watched him, trying to understand what he was saying. He looked so upset. "Did something go wrong?"

Giles' eyes winced shut and he shook his head, lowering it a bit.

"So the portal is closed?"

"Yes."

"And everyone's still alive?"

Giles sniffed and nodded.

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because the spells cut you. Some were too deep... too much. You'll probably have many scars."

Buffy chuckled and grinned through her pain when he shot her a surprised look. "We'll match, then, I guess."

He started to argue but she cut him off with a sigh. "Giles, we did what we had to do. I know you're probably going to argue with me about this later, but for right now, let's just agree that it was necessary. A few scars? That's nothing -"

"Buffy! It... it's more than a few."

Buffy started to understand why he was upset. "Is it bad?" He nodded and lowered his eyes. "No matter how bad it is, I'm still alive. I can still fight."

"You'll never look normal again, Buffy."

"Then I don't have to worry about being normal anymore."

Giles scoffed and sat back. He pulled off his glasses and set them on the bedside table. How could he make her understand? It wasn't a simple problem. He stood and crossed the room to the in-room closet where a duffel bag was tucked. Dawn had packed several items, including Buffy's vanity bag. He pulled it out and found a mirror inside, dropping the bag of makeup to turn.

"Look, I know it's probably gross, but -"

Giles held out the mirror, stopping her statement. At her motion, he stepped closer, handing the mirror to her. Buffy held it up, though her fingers shook, and took in the sight of her face, neck and part of her shoulders. She had two large gashes, stitched but deep, on her face; one across her right eye and the other splitting both lips... as if an extension of the other. Small cuts that might heal up just fine covered the rest of her face at odd angles.

Her neck looked ravaged. Four large stripes of raw skin, wide though shallow, ripped down the length from her left ear to her right collar bone. As if a real, honest to goodness wild dog got hold of her.

She slowly lowered the mirror. That was a hint as to what the rest of her body looked like. She lifted her hands, counted her fingers. Wriggled her toes beneath the covers.

"So I'm gonna look hard-core, now?"

Giles sighed and closed his eyes. "Buffy..."

"If I don't make fun of this it's only going to be a pity party, Giles. Let me deal the best way I know how."

"I'm sorry," he said, sinking into his chair. His shoulders sagged and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his face landing in his palms. "I'm so sorry, Buffy."

"Giles, would you listen to yourself?"

His eyes opened, blinked. He looked at her, confused for a moment. "What?"

"You're apologizing to me for saving my life." She grinned, then winced as it pulled on her lips. Slowly moving her mouth a little, she gave him a half-smirk. "I guess there's a first for everything right?" He wanted to respond, wanted her to understand, but she held her hand out, waiting for him to scoot closer again. When he complied, she gave him the half-smirk again. "Giles, this is no big deal. Whatever doesn't heal, I'll be fine. I made it through with all my fingers, toes, hands and feet. No missing arms or legs or eyes. I think this is a pretty sweet deal, actually."

"One you shouldn't have had to face at all," he countered.

Now it was her turn to sigh. That hard look he was sending her way foretold more than one argument about her decisions. "Do you want me to yell and scream? Will it make you feel better when you yell at me later?"

Her quiet question caught him off-guard. And everything seemed to hit him at once. She'd survived. He'd barely managed to save her life. Barely managed to keep her here, to hold on when her life-force was leaving her body. She'd been expecting death and now, another miracle, a third chance at life. His disquiet seemed trivial. His upset unnecessary.

"I... I don't believe I'll be yelling at you in the foreseeable future."

Buffy's eyes brightened. "Did I win a bet or something I don't know about?"

Giles chuckled, shook his head. She would be fine, his Buffy. He would take care of her until she healed, and she would be fine.

"No, and don't think near-death will always excuse you," he retorted, winking and smiling at her. He reached for the in-room phone. Time to make some calls.