Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money from this work. Anything recognizable to the Final Fantasy VII series and its associated parts belongs to Square Enix and affiliated companies.

Green Dreams

Chapter Thirty: I Remember When I Lost My Mind

"Mother?"

Elanor Strife was taken aback by the appearance of the three young men standing in the materia cave, and it didn't even quite register was they called her for several moments. The earnest expression on the boys' faces as they looked at her was making her uncomfortable.

"Uh, I'm sorry, did you get separated?" she asked.

"She has been calling for us but we can't find her."

Elanor was about to mention the pathway to Rocket Town, the only viable way they could have gotten here since she definitely hadn't heard about these young… gentlemen in Nibelheim, but one of the boys interjected before she could speak.

"Do you know where there is more of this stuff so we can find her?" The youngest, with shoulder-length silver hair, gestured quickly at the mako fountain she was standing by, and Elanor felt even more confused.

"Mako? Well, it's everywhere. This is a natural spring though." She paused, unsure if she should ask how mako was related to finding their mother. Something about these boys told her to watch her words. Though they didn't look dangerous at first glance, the way they stood there, how they looked at her, and those eerie eyes made Elanor very wary. The last time she'd ignored her instincts about a man, he'd left her alone with a newborn son.

"So, there are others?" asked the one with the longest hair.

Elanor was still not really sure what was going on, and it was making her nervous. She didn't know who these boys were or where they'd come from, but she trusted her intuition that something was very wrong with them. And how was mako related to anything? "Yes, I believe natural springs occur all over the world. And there's mako reactors…"

The biggest of the three, and most likely the eldest, looked strangely on the verge of tears at the mention of so many places. The middle one muttered something, and the eldest interjected with a petulant, "I'm not crying!"

Elanor decided it might be best to leave while things were still calm. These boys were all armed, one with a gun, one with a sword, and the largest with some strange contraption on his arm. This wasn't altogether strange in an inhospitable place like the Nibel Mountains, but the three appeared a little unstable. It was likely something had happened to their mother, perhaps a beast had gotten to her, and they were… suffering from grief.

A very, very powerful grief.

"If you heard her calling for you, she might be on the main path to Rocket Town. I can show you where that is," she offered.

The three nodded, smiling at her. Elanor smiled back, though it wasn't quite as natural. There was something wrong with this situation, though she didn't know what. Disturbed by what her instincts were telling her, Elanor Strife led the three boys back out of the cave and to the main path, only half listening to their whispered conversation.

"If Mother… ever find her?"

"We need to free…have her …-enge."

"Who could be…ful… her?"

The rest of the conversation was lost as the wind began to whistle through the cave as they approached the entrance. Winter was coming on strong this year, and already the weather was showing signs of early winter storms. Many of the peaks had more snowfall than usual already.

Outside the cave most monsters in this area weren't very aggressive, so Elanor never had trouble before with them unless a real predator showed up. However, the three boys seemed to find every monster in the area—either that, or they drew them. Unfortunately, they also seemed a little trigger happy, and every monster was game for the middle boy with the gun, and if it got too close, the strongest one with a solid punch. Whatever strange thing was on his arm seemed capable of electrifying the beasts, and Elanor tried not to think about where he'd gotten it. She didn't like weapons and fighting, and seeing the boys fighting like this only made her think of her own son, probably doing something similar, she thought sadly. Shaking her head, she decided she would feel much better after a cup of hot tea in her home and a little more clarity.

"Well then, this route we'll take goes pretty much straight to the main path." So saying, Elanor led them around the outside of the mountain, being careful to avoid the slippery sections. As they rounded the final corner, passing between two boulders, Elanor showed them where the path continued up the mountain, explaining that they would circle up the mountain while she circled down, before their path rejoined the main one cutting through the forest.

She wasn't sure how to say goodbye, but it didn't seem to matter as the eldest boy spotted a lone fiend and raced after it, followed by a single gunshot from the one with the longest hair. Deciding to remain where she was, she cheerily waved at their disappearing facades, and hoped she had done the right thing.

The rest of the way down was familiar ground to her, so it was simply a matter of paying attention to wear the ice was and keeping an eye out of monsters. Though they grew fewer and fewer in number the closer to the village, most of the predators in the Nibel Mountains were nothing to scoff at. Elanor's mind wasn't perhaps as focused on the path and dangers as it should have been, but it was rare to see strangers in the Nibel Range, let alone such peculiar ones.

As she came around the bend that would put the famous Nibel Forest into view, Elanor saw the black smoke trailing into the sky. Like a huge funnel, it cut a wide line in the usually spectacular scenery, and it started right where Nibelheim would be. Horrified that a fire had broken out, Elanor rushed around the curve and in her hurry missed the patch of black ice. Her feet slid out from under her, and with a shriek Elanor Strife fell.

"It doesn't hold water."

"What?"

"Cloud's story," Sephiroth said, his voice lacking some of his usual patience.

"Sephiroth," Zack sputtered, "Cloud's totally traumatized by it, and we went and made him tell us anyway." Zack had a rather pouty look on his face, but it belied the seriousness of the conversation.

"It doesn't explain anything. In fact, it's not even related to his swordsmanship. If it's even true."

Zack had been innocently enjoying his lunch in Sephiroth's office when the preoccupied General had blurted out his suspicions. It was the first time they had really discussed it since Cloud's impromptu revelation the previous day, and Zack really wasn't in the mood for this conversation now. Cloud had been experimented on by Hojo. The First was still in shock over it.

"Oh come on Sephiroth, let's not push him. Just leave him alone for now," he said tiredly. He'd spent all night thinking about it, and the last thing he wanted to hear was more discussion on it. He'd trust Cloud to tell him the whole truth when he was comfortable.

Sephiroth still had a rather moody aura that told Zack this was far from over, and Zack didn't like where the conversation was leading. Sephiroth now seemed more fixated, if possible, on Cloud's bizarreness than before. He'd been distracted all yesterday and this morning, barely maintaining a veil of normalcy.

"What could be so vital to hide that he would disclose something like that—experimentation," the General spat with vitriol staring hard at his desk, "rather than tell us about his training."

Zack put down his pasta bowl and gave Sephiroth a hard look. "Seph, maybe it's simpler than that. Maybe Cloud was trained while he was… you know."

"No." Sephiroth shook his head, looking back up at Zack, eyes intense. "If Hojo was the head of the project, and Cloud was being trained at the same time, then the intention was clearly to make another weapon."

Zack winced at the term Sephiroth used so disparagingly, but he'd never really been able to completely eradicate Sephiroth's idea that he was built solely to be the greatest SOLDIER there was.

Sephiroth continued on oblivious or ignoring Zack's discomfort. "But Hojo's never indicated anything like that. In fact, he's never taken notice of Cloud before. Hojo is not the type to let something slip out of his fingers. And why would Cloud enter SOLDIER knowing he'd have to suffer mako showers and be put back under Hojo's thumb? It doesn't make sense."

Zack really did not like this now. Sephiroth was getting into dangerous territory. The kid had looked awful the second he'd told them, and Zack had felt a pang of guilt, even though he'd still rather know.

"Seph, you're practically obsessing over him, and I think it's because of whatever happened before this. At the end of the exam. Remember? You were acting really funny, and I knew something was up."

It was a low blow to get Sephiroth off topic, and the look the General shot him was angrier than Zack expected. "You don't think I'm capable of considering things objectively?"

"Oh, come on Seph," Zack said again, frustrated now with Sephiroth's unwavering hounding of the subject. Sephiroth had been wound tight for days now, and Cloud's issues just seemed to be piling on top. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Zackary, you implied as much."

"No look, I'm saying you should take a break from thinking about Cloud and, you know, consider yourself."

"Perhaps you should do the same then."

Zack sat up in his chair at that. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You are blinded by your affection for Cloud. I have been considering Cloud's sword techniques, and there's no denying his familiarity with the buster sword." Sephiroth was leaning back in his chair now, his voice like ice. "There are not many places he could have learned that."

"What do you mean blinded? I care about Cloud, and I'm just considering his feelings in this. He's not just a puzzle you know." Indignation was ripe in Zack's voice. He didn't take kindly to people talking badly about his friends, and he had certainly never expected it from Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was looking straight at him. "I'm well aware of that, Zack. However, what he withholds could be dangerous. At the very least experimentation means he could have an adverse reaction to mako, latent abilities, or a high potential for mutation. It's the risk factor I'm concerned with."

Zack cut in before Sephiroth could finish. "Well I'm concerned with Cloud's mental health."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed at the interruption. "You are attempting to protect him when he doesn't need it—blinded as I said." Then Sephiroth continued on before Zack could get another word in. "That he hides his training may imply he has dangerous abilities, or an attempt to hide from or protect something. Both are things that it is imperative I know for the safety of everyone else."

"Well I haven't seen anything of the sort, Seph. And I haven't done any training with him with the buster sword yet," Zack pointed out.

"It's not you I'm thinking of," Sephiroth replied sharply, "There are others trained in the use of buster swords." There was a tiny pause, barely a breath. "Like Angeal."

He'd said it. Zack's expression tightened instantly, and he stood up from his seat. "Angeal is dead, Sephiroth. There's no way he could have taught Cloud. No. Way."

Zack's outrage at the General's suggestion didn't faze him one bit. "Actually, it's perfectly plausible. There's a sizeable gap of time between Angeal's defection and his death."

"No."

That was the last word. Zack turned on his heel and left, heading down the hallway and into the elevator without a glance back.

The exam was over, and Reeve was actually looking forward to seeing Reno again. He hadn't quite realized what a welcome distraction these chats with him were.

Breathing in the mildly fresher air up on the roof, he leaned his head back just as he heard the slamming of the metal door to the roof.

"Tuesti," Reno said as a greeting, slouching over to him. As Reeve turned around he wasn't surprised to see Reno wearing the telltale Turk suit, though he'd taken liberties with the strict dress code. The white button up shirt was left untucked, the pants sagging a little lower on his hips than regulation, and the blue jacket slightly wrinkled and open. He wasn't undamaged from the exam though. The shine of a bruise on his left cheek was still there, and he didn't slouch quite as gracefully as usually did. Somehow Reno still carried his usual air though, despite the new outfit and bruises.

"Ah, Reno. Congratulations on joining the, hmm, Department of Administrative Research," Reeve muffled a laugh.

"Laugh it up Tuesti, but you and I both know that ain't what they do at all."

The overbearing accent made this even funnier to Reeve, but he smothered his outward amusement so as not to offend the prickly teen.

"Well, from what I've heard of the exams they were quite successful, though the General is as stressed as always."

Reno lit up a cigarette behind him, taking a drag before exhaling slowly. Reeve put his back to the edge of the railing on the roof to really look at the redhead.

"Well, that's nothing new. I was hoping to dig up more on him since I got new clearance," Reno managed to sneer as he said it, clearly believing his hacking skills made such clearance unnecessary, "but his info's locked up tight."

Reeve shrugged, playing it cool. "I'm not surprised."

Reno looked back up at the sky, and Reeve waited patiently for him to speak. Generally they traded off on who offered up information first. Reeve had no qualms about what this was—it was downright tame compared to many of the things high-ranking members of Shinra did.

Reno though was either hesitant, didn't have anything, or was weighing his options, Reeve couldn't tell which. Reno was still very much naïve in the much of the ways Shinra functioned behind closed doors, but Reeve knew as a member of the Turks that would change. It would also make him a valuable ally. For what, Reeve didn't know, but he feared Shinra could not continue on forever, and it was only a matter of time before something caused it all to come down.

"Alright, you know Veld?"

"Of course," Reeve replied immediately. Leader of the Turks, Veld, or Verdot as some people called him.

"Well, I overheard something in the office," the way Reno said it made the office sound like a torture chamber. It most likely was to him. "They think he might be connected to AVALANCHE."

Reeve's eyebrows shot up. He had met Verdot on a handful of occasions, and the man fit his job to a T. That he might even be suspected to be passing information to the other side was big. He was in charge of the Turks—that meant he had serious confidential information at his fingertips, and he was in control of much of the information-gathering resources Shinra had.

"That's a serious accusation," was all Reeve said, but his mind was thinking through what this could mean. The outcomes could alter the whole company at the least.

"Yeah, guy's only head of the Turks," Reno remarked sarcastically, echoing Reeve's thoughts. "Pro'bly knows more about the inner working's o' the company than anyone else."

Reno went back to brooding over his cigarette, and Reeve couldn't help but ask what was bothering him. Perhaps the Turk training was more than he could handle?

"It's nothing," Reno responding, putting out his lit butt on the railing of the roof, "Just something that don't make no sense."

He didn't elaborate, and Reeve didn't ask.

There was another odd lull in the conversation. Reno seemed quite preoccupied, and Reeve was continued to enjoy the open sky for a while, remembering briefly that ray of sunshine in Aeris' church. The exams had been a low point for him in activity, with most of Shinra focused on the tests and no redhead to keep him thinking. That's how Reeve had found himself in Sector 7 for purposes utterly unrelated to engineering.

A chilly breeze swept by reminding him he was on the roof of Shinra Headquarters in December without even a scarf.

"Well, if we're on the subject of informants, you may not have heard this tidbit from a couple months back. Only upper-echelon Shinra and all that."

Reno noticeably perked up, and Reeve suppressed a smile.

"Ever heard of Lazard Deusericus?"

"What the hell kinda last name is that?" Reno scoffed, but he turned to face Reeve more fully.

"He was the union executive for SOLDIER—sort of like the manager of SOLDIER without actually being in the army."

"Sounds like a pansy."

"He was not a fighter, but he was a brilliant man." Reeve recalled many a conversation about the slums with Lazard. Though not working closely together for the most part, Lazard felt strongly about the poverty in the slums, and it showed in subtle ways. What had happened to him was perhaps the strangest part of all this.

"You may recall a drug scandal with one of the cadet barracks."

Reno had a lot of curses to offer, especially for Tseng, concerning the drug scandal. Reeve hadn't quite realized it was Reno's bunker that had gotten into trouble, but it was all the funnier—and ironic—for it.

"Was that you? It caused uproar within much of the military branches since the drugs were laced with mako. Other than the Science Department only SOLDIERs have that kind of access to open mako," Reeve smiled at Reno's brief pout.

"Well, that incident led to an investigation of the Science Department since no one confessed to where they mako came from. Lazard, who it's suspected now was meeting or at least funneling information outside Shinra, fled. They rounded up one of his spies from the department, but no one knows where's he's gone."

Reeve looked away from Reno and back up to the night sky, tucking his hands into the pockets of his coat more securely to ward off the chill. He hadn't been surprised by Lazard's sympathies, since he'd been peripherally aware of them, but there was more that didn't seem to make sense.

"Who was he giving the information to?"

"Another defector from Shinra; a scientist. No one's sure what he wanted to accomplish by that though." Reeve had always thought Lazard might be in league with AVALANCHE, or at least sensitive to their cause, but Hollander had been totally out of left field for him.

"People defect often from Shinra?" Reno asked, looking quite curious.

"There's been a number, more after the war. Of course for every one who defects there's three people who want his job." Reeve shook his head, but the story of the First Class SOLDIERs who had defected wasn't something he'd share just yet. Most argued that story was done with after Angeal's death, but Reeve didn't think Genesis would go down quietly.

Finally the cold drove them back inside the headquarters, where they parted ways with little more than a nod, both brooding on what they'd learned and what they hadn't said.

Sephiroth rubbed his eyes tiredly, leaning one elbow on his desk. He'd tried to forget what he'd stumbled on in Hojo's files by analyzing Cloud's story to death and back, but all he'd come up with were more loose ends and more things that didn't make any sense.

It didn't help of course that he had a meeting with Hojo tomorrow that did not promise to go well. He'd avoided the last appointment because of the exam, and now he had Hojo's… deception at the back of his thoughts. He still hadn't determined if he would confront the professor or not about it.

It was at that moment that there was a timid knock on his door. Sephiroth straightened, knowing Zack wouldn't even bother to knock—or speak to him now considering how he'd handled that last conversation without any tact whatsoever. Cloud just… frustrated Sephiroth, and he knew in retrospect Zack had been right on some level. He was letting other things influence him about Cloud, namely Hojo. He still thought that Zack's refusal to acknowledge Cloud's hidden agenda was unwise though.

"Sir?" A woman asked through the door, and Sephiroth recognized the voice as the regulation army general's secretary.

"Enter."

The woman stepped in holding a file to her chest nervously. "Sir, this is a follow-up report from- from Nibelheim. It's marked urgent."

Sephiroth accepted the report from her, and she scurried out quickly shutting the door behind her.

Rubbing his eyes, Sephiroth considered waiting until tomorrow to read the report, but a glance at the rest of the paperwork he still hadn't gotten done, and the red-stamped URGENT on the front of this one told him otherwise.

Opening the folder he only briefly scanned the basic information about the area, stopping short though at the pictures clipped to the report on the next page.

The first was the remains of the Mt. Nibel Mako Reactor, a pile of partially melted and twisted metal and pipes still glowing the sickly green of refined mako. Reading the report thoroughly, it was clear someone had essentially ripped the place apart and blown it up, totally destroying it and most everything inside. The estimated time of the occurrence fit neatly into the parameters of the SOLDIER exam, as noted.

Sephiroth didn't let himself think beyond that yet. He flipped to the next page of the report and drew in another sharp breath. In bold letters on the top of the page was "Shinra Mansion", with a picture clipped to it of a burnt wreckage that bore no resemblance to the mansion Sephiroth vaguely remembered. Only the wrought-iron gate was familiar, the rest had been almost obliterated.

It was clear the same person or group had done this, and the report determined that they obviously bore a grudge against Shinra. Sephiroth knew though, almost instinctively, that this was a personal grudge against Hojo. Both of those places had been used for the scientist's experiments in the past, as Sephiroth knew well.

Getting up, Sephiroth opened up the boxes of debriefings from the cadets for the second examination, digging through until he found Cloud's. As he read through the notably vague record, he knew with certainty that this was Cloud's doing. The experimentation hadn't been a lie then, but there were still a lot of pieces missing.

Sephiroth returned to his seat, putting the report down by the two stark pictures. Hojo's involvement was very limited in all this, but it seemed Cloud took serious issue with him—or at least what he had done. The two sides didn't seem to match up, but Sephiroth was loath to bring attention to Cloud or Sephiroth's preoccupation with him. Not to mention he had other things to discuss with his… father.

Taking the reports with him, he gathered Cloud's debriefing from the first exam too and went back to his apartment. As he headed out he knew he would have to bring this up with Zack, much as he knew the other man would hate to hear it, and it would mean another meeting with Cloud. This one, he promised himself, he would not let personal feelings interfere with. He would have the truth from the blond.

There was probably no one as exhausted as Cloud these days. He'd barely been a SOLDIER for two weeks, and all he'd done was train with Zack, do conditioning with the other new SOLDIERS when he wasn't with Zack, eat and collapse on his bed and sleep.

Granted, most of this was self-inflicted. Cloud had gotten the sense from Zack that Sephiroth wasn't happy with him, and Cloud was just glad the General was inundated with the new SOLDIERs and paperwork missed during the exam. At least it gave him some chance to avoid him for now, and as long as he remained busy he could hopefully keep his luck up.

Reno though was determined, and after two near misses with each other, Cloud was bodily dragged out of his room at midnight by an irate, redheaded Turk. "You better tell me what the hell is going on, Cloud! How did you know me as a Turk?"

They were behind one of the maintenance buildings by the backfields, and Cloud was acutely aware of how easily their voices could carry on the wind. "It's complicated," he mumbled, both trying to keep his voice down and because he didn't really know how to approach this. It was one thing with Vincent, but Reno was an entirely different person, and his reaction was likely to be explosive.

"So what," Reno said irritably, dropping to sit next to Cloud, "You a psychic or something? Or just a lucky guess? I don't know what you were going for trying to get my attention with that, but you got me here now."

Cloud paused for the barest second, then decided there wasn't any way to make this sound any less crazy. He'd made the decision to tell Reno anyway. "I time traveled."

"You time traveled," Reno deadpanned.

"Yes. From nearly eight years after the SOLDIER Exam."

"Huh. And that's why you suddenly kick ass? 'Cause you were a big bad First before?" Reno didn't sound at all like he believed him, and when he mentioned being a First Class SOLDIER Cloud's shoulders slumped almost on their own accord.

Reno noticed unfortunately.

"What, you only made Second?" He snorted to himself.

"I failed the exam," Cloud said. "Then I did a bunch of missions with Zack as a trooper, before Hojo got us."

Reno paused and rubbed his cuffed sleeve under his chin. "You failed? And the crazy scientist guy got you?"

"Yeah."

Reno's eyebrows were definitely ready to climb into his hair if they got any higher. "…You know I don't—"

"There's this creature called Jenova. It's what destroyed the Ancients, and I need to kill her before she… contaminates the world. That's why I ditched the second half of the test, since she was supposed to be in Nibelheim's reactor. She wasn't there though."

"Oh come on," Reno said sharply, no longer sounded as incredulous anymore. "Be straight with me Cloud."

When Cloud didn't respond Reno stood up looking genuinely angry now and a little scared. "I don't know what the hell you're on, but time travel's impossible, and a monster that'll destroy the world? Seriously?"

Cloud shot him a glare, his own fraying temper sparking. "You don't have to believe me, but how else do you think I knew about Tseng's guns? Or you becoming a Turk? Or about Sephiroth? I don't have time to dillydally"—the words brought a sudden sharp reminded of Tifa to his heart, but Cloud shoved it aside—"Jenova is out there and a threat. You're a friend, and an ally. I'll need you're help tracking down where she is."

"Why don't you just go to Sephiroth? Or Zack, huh?"

"I can't because they were both… dead." Cloud wasn't looking at Reno now, only half thinking about what to tell him. It never got easier it seemed, no matter how many times he said it.

"Dead?" Reno asked a little hollowly. "The General? Dead?"

The redhead slowly sat down again, reading Cloud's sober demeanor.

"I didn't think it possible either, but Jenova… overcame him."

"And you beat her?" Reno found himself saying disbelievingly. He couldn't believe he was hearing this, but Cloud's face and body language were serious, and he knew that even if he didn't believe in time travel, it certainly made a weird kind of sense. After all, Reno himself had noticed Cloud's 180-degree turn in just days: the shooting practice, the rigorous training, the aced tests even when he slept in class, the personality whiplash…

"Yeah. With help."

"That how Zack died? And you feel like you gotta save him?"

Cloud looked up then, shaking his head. "No, he died before. Because of me."

Reno had always known Cloud might have a little bit of a guilt complex—he'd seemed like the sort of guy to always take the blame. He certainly blamed himself for a lot of shit, but this took the cake.

"You're blaming yourself for something that hasn't happened yet?"

"It did happen." Cloud made eye contact this time when he looked up, and Reno could see what he'd seen before in only bare glimpses: pain, regret, determination. "And I won't let it happen again."

Reno still couldn't quite believe the time travel idea, but Cloud seemed set on destroying that monster, and apparently without any help from possibly the strongest people in the world. Reno just had to shake his head.

"Why hasn't that Jenova thing killed anyone yet? You'd think we'd have heard about something like that."

"Jenova was used for experimentation by Hojo. She… woke up I guess, and that's when things got bad. It's not supposed to happen for another five years, but something's changed."

"You mean from your… other time?" It sounded stupid even when he said it, but Cloud's grim nod made Reno refrain from comment. They continued to talk a bit about what Jenova was capable of and how Cloud inadvertently became the leader of an almost completely different AVALANCHE, until they realized both of them would have to be up for training tomorrow. Cloud with Zack, Reno with his new partner Rude.

Later, when he'd rolled into bed still wearing the white button-up shirt of his uniform, Reno thought about how crazy it was to hear Cloud talk about hunting down a monster capable of killing the General with a ragtag group of people. He imagined Cloud in a straightjacket yelling at him to save Zack, and then Cloud ripping out of it with mako-green eyes to fight a tentacle monster. Reno didn't realize that no matter how ridiculous he thought the story, he never once considered not helping Cloud.