Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money from this work. Anything recognizable to the Final Fantasy VII series and its associated parts belongs to Square Enix and affiliated companies.

Green Dreams

Chapter Thirty-Two: Faces Beneath My Skin

Cloud sat on a bench outside SOLDIER Training Room D wiping down his blade. With all the New Year celebrations it had been hard to find any peace and quiet. The monotonous repetition of wiping the cloth on the sword was where Cloud had always been able to find the most calm.

He had written a letter to his mother for the New Year, and could only hope it made it there in time. He hadn't heard from her in awhile, but it was just as likely Nibelheim was inaccessible this late in winter. While it rarely snowed in Midgar, Nibelheim could be hit with a snowstorm as early as September some years, and it might not let up until April.

The sound of raucous voices coming down the hall signaled the end of his quiet. Cloud put the buster sword back in the weapons closet and headed back to his room, figuring he could message Reno to see how he was doing. Other than a couple brief encounters after that night where he had admitted to time traveling, they had seen little of each other. Reno hadn't brought up the time travel again, and Cloud wasn't sure if he was angry, disbelieving, or still digesting.

As it turned out, Cloud didn't have to wait long to find out.

"You, me, a nice long talk," Reno said the moment Cloud walked into his room.

"Here?"

"No, I know somewhere more private."

Twenty minutes later a poorly dressed Cloud was standing on the roof of a seventy-story building in January.

"Okay. Let me just say this: I think you're completely insane."

Cloud had known Reno would be a lot harder to convince than Vincent—who had actually bought the story on pretty much faith—but the blond realized he might have underestimated just how skeptical Reno was.

"It's true," was the only thing Cloud could say.

Reno sighed and pulled his knees up a bit to better ward out the cold. "I still don't believe you," he said, looking straight at Cloud, "but I know that this means digging up dirt on Shinra, and you know I'm all for that."

The new Turk sounded rather reluctant, but Cloud appreciated the sheer leap of faith Reno had just shown him. He may not believe Cloud's story, but he was helping anyway. It was really too bad he and Reno had been enemies during AVALANCHE's time.

"Thanks," Cloud said softly, looking in the direction of where his home had once been out in the desert.

"Yeah," Reno said a little gruffly, "I'm only helping you because you're crazy, and it means blackmail on Shinra execs."

"I know." Cloud sat down across from Reno, huddling in. He'd only worn combat pants and a long-sleeve shirt, not expecting Reno to take him up so high. The wind was particularly sharp up here, and mountain boy or no he was still cold.

"So," Reno said after a long pause, "Where should I start?"

Reeve headed through the Sector 7 slums, keeping his head down and his eyes on the ground. After his first trip to meet with the Flower Girl, he was more aware than ever of how much he stuck out under the plate. Even in his oldest coat and pants he still felt like he was wearing a sign declaring he wasn't from the slums. He could only hope it wasn't obvious he worked for Shinra.

The first meeting with Aeris had been a real eye-opener, and Reeve had been waiting weeks to meet with her again. She had warned him of the Turk's watchful eyes, and Reeve knew meeting with a wanted fugitive could land him without a job.

Still, Reeve knew with a firm determination that this was right. The slums and poverty were wrong, the draining of the Planet's life energy was wrong, and the corruption and abuses of Shinra were wrong. While he was no AVALANCHE member, he certainly sounded like it in moments like this. It was a good thing he knew the Turks were having a training session today back at the HQ; otherwise he may be more than out of a job. He might need to check the consequences of a "breach of contract" on the Shinra Employee Contract he signed ages ago.

Crossing the open pavement in front of the chapel, Reeve pushed aside the door and stepped in, smiling as he spotted the characteristic pink dress crouched by the flowers.

"Hello," he called, and Aeris turned around, a smile on her face.

"I wasn't sure when I'd see you again. How have you been Reeve?" Her hands were caked in dirt, the knees of her dress covered in soil, and she looked perfectly happy. Reeve couldn't remember the last time he'd seen someone so happy in Midgar.

"I'm fine, had a quiet New Year, and you?"

They exchanged pleasantries for a while, and he crouched down to help with some of the weeding Aeris was doing as she talked. "It's been pretty quiet around here. I don't think the Turks are monitoring as closely as they used to."

"There's been some upheaval in the department," Reeve admitted, mind going back briefly to Reno. He supposed the Turks just didn't have the resources or interest committed to keeping up with Aeris. Perhaps Tseng felt differently about the situation regarding her.

"There's been rumors around about AVALANCHE," Aeris admitted, tugging up a weed with practiced efficiency. Other than her hands and knees her dress was otherwise unsoiled, but Reeve's old clothes were speckled with dirt.

He wiped his hands on his pants and looked at all the dirt under his fingers and caught in the wrinkles of his palms. It had been a long time since he'd done something so… hands-on. He'd been a paper-pusher at Shinra for almost sixteen years now.

"What sort of rumors?"

Aeris' lips quirked up a little. "They've been quiet, so some say they are planning something, others that the leader is ill."

Reeve noted that she didn't mention any connection to Shinra. That hadn't become news apparently, neither Lazard's disappearance or questions about Veld's loyalty.

"Speaking of problem-people in the slums, what about Don Corneo?"

Aeris sat back from her work, absentmindedly petting a flower petal before rising to sit on one of the old pews. "He pretty much runs Wall Market. Have you ever seen him? He's awfully rude to women."

"Does he run that club…?" Reeve made sort of a vague hand gesture, feeling an uncharacteristic blush.

Aeris giggled, "Yes, that's his. Pretty much everything in Wall Market is."

Reeve sighed, remembering the bits of rumor he'd heard about Shinra's alleged funding of Corneo. He would have to talk to Reno and see where the Turks were on this.

Reno and Cloud had moved from the edge of the roof over to the side of one of the air conditioning units, hoping to stay out of the wind's path. They had been talking for nearly an hour now about potential targets to get information from. Cloud already had a list in mind, namely secretaries for executives and major project managers. Reno figured he could put surveillance on most of those computers to keep an eye on things, and keep a back door open in case he wanted specific was ambitious, but Reno looked positive gleeful.

"Hey, speaking of weapon's research and the Science Department, you ever heard of a guy named Hollander?

Cloud narrowed his eyes slightly, and that was all the tell Reno needed.

"What do you know?" Cloud asked.

"I overheard something about defecting scientists, and his name came up." Reno shrugged, looking intently at Cloud.

"He was in charge of two SOLDIER Firsts who defected during the Wutai War," Cloud told him. "He disappeared too. He might have a handle on Jenova since she wasn't in the reactor."

"You think he might know?" Reno asked.

"He and Hojo are pretty much enemies. He used a different experimentation to make two super-powered SOLDIERs, but Sephiroth with the Jenova cells—"

"—Proved stronger and now he's jealous and wants to one-up him. Planet these scientists are predictable," Reno cut in. Cloud was about to comment when Reno spoke again abruptly. "Hey, do you know who replaced that Lazard guy as SOLDIER exec, or whatever they call it?"

"Wait, Lazard's not there?" Cloud said sharply.

"No," Reno said looking a little confused. "After the drug thing with our bunker they did an investigation of the Science Department and he split. Turns out he was funding this guy Hollander. Think he might have been helping Hollander out with this Jenova thing?"

Cloud's face lost all expression as Reno finished his explanation. "What is it?"

"Lazard didn't leave yet, I'm sure of it. He had to have left after the attack on Junon, because he definitely helped Hollander there. I remember getting mission orders from him, and there was the incident at Icicle Inn with Zack… That means things are changing."

"Attack on Junon?!" Reno interrupted, not hearing anything Cloud said after that.

"AVALANCHE attacks Junon. And then Hollander escapes from Junon just before the… But Lazard leaving means…"

Reno wasn't quite able to follow everything Cloud was saying. "Wait, they caught Hollander?"

"Zack did."

"So then he's in custody right now?"

"Yes."

To Reno this was blatantly obvious, but Cloud seemed to be slow on the uptake. "Then how could he have Jenova?"

"Genesis. Or the clones."

"Clones. Great." Cloud's expression was hard, determined, and Reno's sarcasm was lost on him. Deciding to get back on track with Lazard, rather than worry about Cloud's foreseen "future", Reno returned to the point. "Do you know why he was funding Hollander?"

Cloud only shook his head. The action coupled with such a serious expression made it rather grave. "No. But I do know he injected himself with some of Angeal's cells and then went after Zack."

"Who's Angeal, and why the hell would anyone inject themselves with his cells?" Reno asked half-rhetorically.

Cloud tried to explain, but he didn't know most of Lazard's story himself. He had only remembered bits and pieces from what little of Zack was in him. He knew Lazard ultimately had helped Zack, but he didn't know what this meant for the timeline of events. As things changed Cloud knew events would change that he could no longer predict, but Lazard's early appearance might mean events were speeding up. And that meant less time to find Jenova and destroy her.

"We need to get a bead on Jenova. Hollander might know something, otherwise only Hojo would."

Reno recognized the note of steel in Cloud's voice and didn't dispute him. "Okay, you worry about the space-time continuum, and I'll worry about Hollander. If he's being held by Shinra, then I can see if they did any interrogation reports."

"Yeah," Cloud said, and he stood up and stretched a bit. He didn't feel so cold now. "I'll see what I can remember about Lazard."

Tuesday, 0730, Cloud was sitting on the examination table in a small, sterile white room. He concentrated carefully on not swinging his feet, a nervous habit he'd thought he'd kicked.

This would be not only his first meeting here with Hojo, but the first injection of mako; the first step on an inevitable road. Cloud knew this was necessary, a choice he'd made when he'd come back, and there was no way he'd back out now. Still, it didn't make the actual injection any easier.

Two nurses, one male one female, entered the room carrying a small medical case and a clipboard. Cloud kept one eye on the door as they worked. The woman began to take his vitals while the male nurse jotted something on the clipboard before handing it to him. "You'll need to sign this waiver beforehand, just promising you know the side effects and so on."

Cloud looked over it, knowing that this was essentially an agreement to use his body for Hojo's scientific research. Some lines jumped out at him including "…not hold Shinra Inc. or affiliated agents accountable for any complications such as aneurysm or cardiac arrest associated with…" Cloud sighed, but accepted the pen offered to him and scrawled his name as illegibly as possible on the bottom. There was nothing he could do about it, and they all knew it.

As the first nurse unwrapped the blood pressure monitor from his arm, the door opened to admit Professor Hojo. He was exactly the same as Cloud remembered him, from the chemically stained lab coat to the unkempt hair and glasses. Cloud affixed his stare to the far wall, trying to combat the innate revulsion to what he was doing. Necessary, he reminded himself. Sacrifice.

Out of the corner of his eye Cloud could see Hojo move to the case to prep the mako, while the nurse swabbed his arm and prepared him for the needle. The blond focused on one spot on the wall and reminded himself to breathe in and out. Just seeing Hojo brought back a host of memories, none good. The thought of killing the scientist right now made it slightly more bearable. It would be impossible to get away with of course, but the thought was nice.

His nerves must have been obvious to the nurse, because she tried to comfort him. "It's okay, plenty of SOLDIERs don't like needles. If your mako levels are high enough, you'll be able to take the showers and that's far easier. You just have to get through this one for now."

She smiled, but it did nothing to help Cloud's state of mind.

She backed away and Hojo came over. Cloud tried not to flinch as the scientist picked up his arm and tapped the crease of the elbow several times to make sure the vein was clear.

Cloud fought hard to clear his mind of any memories of mako by focusing solely on the Omnislash kata. Imagining the movements in his mind, he repeated it over and over again as he felt the pinprick of the needle followed by the slow burn of the mako moving into his bloodstream.

It hurt, creating an ache that sluggishly flowed up his arm and tingled all the way to his chest. Before he realized it Hojo had removed the needle and was carefully cleaning and disposing of it as the nurse from before came over with another big smile on her face. The scientist left barely minutes after he arrived.

"Now, we'll wrap it up, and I hope you have a friend to help you back to your barracks. Normal side effects include shaking, sweating, sensitivity, mild nausea, disorientation, heightened aggression and vivid dreams. Side effects should continue for at least an hour, though up to three is normal. If after four hours you're still feeling it, please come back. You may feel out of sorts all day though, given that it's your first one. Okay?"

She looked too cheery for Cloud's tastes as the male nurse helped him off the bed. Already he could feel a strange energy in his limbs, and his vision sharpened noticeably. The male nurse escorted him down the hall to the waiting room where Zack was chatting up a Second next to him.

"Spike! How you feeling? Thanks nurse, I'll take him from here."

Zack slung an arm over Cloud's shoulder and started to guide him to the door.

"Zack, I'm fine," Cloud said, but the SOLDIER First knew better.

"You may not feel too bad now, but wait for it to hit you. You'll be ripping your clothes off in no time." Zack winked and walked Cloud to the elevators arm ready to offer support.

"So, not so bad right?" Zack asked cheerfully.

"I can feel it in me."

"Eh, that's normal. Just tell me if you're gonna puke."

Cloud's normally pale face was a little flushed, but that might have just been the reaction. Zack knew how much it sucked the first time, and he didn't envy Cloud now.

"Just remember Spike, it's all worth it in the end."

Cloud didn't say anything to that.

Zack managed to get the new SOLDIER to his apartment before the blond could totally lose it. He'd begun to complain about the itchiness of his clothes as they stepped out of the elevator, and he'd started to say some strange things when they entered Zack's building. Cloud seemed to have more of a mental reaction than a physical, which was both good and bad. He wouldn't puke on the carpet, but he also had moments where he didn't seem aware it was Zack with him.

"Hey Cloud, let's get you in the bath okay, the water'll feel real good," Zack coaxed as he helped Cloud to undress, tossing his boots into the bedroom. Luckily the First had been able to draw a bath in the adjacent bathroom while Cloud murmured to himself on the bed.

"It's like the ocean, remember? After the truck?" Cloud asked. He didn't slur, but his eyes weren't completely focused.

"Yeah, like the ocean," Zack repeated, unsure what Cloud was talking about or even who he thought he was talking to. It was a little funny, but Zack wouldn't laugh because he knew this was the mako's doing. Hallucinating could be just as dangerous as violent physical reactions.

When Cloud started to wobble trying to pull one sock off, Zack chuckled slightly at the response he would get from the blond tomorrow when he told him about this, then started to tug at Cloud's pants until the younger man started to squawk.

"Zaaaaaaaaack," and the image of a whining eight-year old Cloud popped into mind.

"Oh come on, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

There was a small struggle, but Zack came away with the pants. "Okay, you do the last bit and get in there."

Cloud looked over at the water then back at him, and Zack suddenly knew Cloud wasn't looking at him anymore. His pupils were blown and had the slightest edge of mako glow. His face slipped into a familiar stoic mask, and it was eerily like that moment when Cloud stared right through the one-way mirror at Kunsel after the interrogation.

"Cloud?" Zack asked cautiously.

There was no response, and suddenly the blond's bare foot caught Zack in the stomach, causing him to stumble back into the open doorway.

"Cloud?" Zack said again, only this time with a serious note of worry in his voice. Whatever Cloud was hallucinating, it wasn't good.

The blond didn't seem to even be himself anymore. He was in nothing but boxers in a bathroom but he looked so fierce, every line of his body confident and strong. Muscles tense and ready for an attack.

"Hey Cloud, it's me Zack. Remember you had the mako injection—" Zack reached out to Cloud, but the blond snarled.

"Don't touch me!"

Zack hesitated for a moment, knowing he could very seriously hurt his friend, but he needed to get a hold of him and make him see through this delusion. With the mako in his veins he could be dangerous to both himself and others. Without any control over his own strength and thinking he was fighting a monster, this could get ugly fast.

Cloud began circling, possibly hoping to make a break for it, and Zack quickly made his decision.

Coming in he ducked a punch and caught the wrist, pulling it to his side for leverage to hopefully pin Cloud down. Before he could get a hold of the second arm, a knee hit him right in the femoral artery, knocking both of them to the ground. Zack winced as his shoulder went down against the doorknob of the bathroom closet, but it was too late to regret such close quarters.

Cloud said something, but in the midst of scrabbling for purchase on the blond's small body Zack didn't catch it. He did catch the punch to the face though, and managed to dislodge Cloud's hold on him long enough to pin him face down.

"Cloud, remember me, it's Zack, your friend. I don't know who you think you're fighting, but you gotta stop before you hurt yourself. It's just the mako—"

Cloud bucked up as the last word left Zack's lips and threw his weight to the side, managing to come down on Zack's arm. There wasn't enough power to break Zack's enhanced limbs, but it damn well hurt.

Zack cursed, and fumbled to catch an ankle before Cloud could sprint into the bedroom. He got a hold and quickly dragged him back into the room, using his enhanced speed to jump up and dodge out of Cloud's way and into the bedroom. He managed to close the bathroom door and grab his PHS. When no banging started up on the door, Zack made his call short.

"Seph, I need you at my apartment ASAP."

Trying to remember if there were any vents in the bathroom, Zack tried to talk Cloud down.

"Cloud, it's Zack. Zack Fair. SOLDIER, your friend. Remember the buster sword? Or that switch-hit technique we did last week?" Silence. "You're seriously scaring me, Spike."

There was no response from the other side of the door. Zack hoped to the Planet he was still in there and maybe with some measure of calm.

"Seph's coming," he added after a moment. He had no idea if that would do anything.

"Sephiroth's dead," was the short answer, the voice eerily flat.

"What?"

Before Zack could follow up though, his apartment door opened and Sephiroth came in. He had to have run to get there so quickly. "What is the emergency?"

"It's Cloud," Zack told him, noting the work attire. "You might want to roll up your sleeves. He practically kicked me out of the bathroom, and I can't get him to calm down. He even just said—"

There was the sound of someone falling on tile, and Zack hurriedly opened the door.

"Zack?" Cloud sounded very small suddenly. "Are we going to make it? What if he comes after us?"

Sephiroth crowded the door behind Zack as the First went over to the fallen blond.

"Hey, what are you talking about? You're going to be fine. I'll need to run the water again since it's probably cool, but it'll all be gone in a couple hours." Zack tried to be as soothing as possible. He wanted to hug Cloud, but he knew his skin would be overly sensitive for a while and wasn't sure what response he might get.

"I wasn't ready," Cloud said, but when Zack asked him for what he stared blankly forward and seemed unaware the First had spoke.

When Zack looked at Sephiroth he thought he caught a glimpse of sympathy before the mask returned.

"Let me just get him in and I'll tell you what happened."

Zack ran the water again as Sephiroth watched Cloud, undoubtedly looking for signs of mako poisoning or an attack.

"I don't think it's abnormal hallucinations. Just… violent ones. Like some of the older SOLDIERs get."

"Hm." Sephiroth didn't comment.

When the water was ready, Zack helped Cloud up and led him over to the edge of the tub. The blond didn't protest as Zack moved to help him finish undressing when he suddenly seemed to seize up, his whole body going tense.

"Cloud?" Zack asked nervously, one hand still on the band of his boxers.

The blond abruptly moved away in a sharp, jagged movement. He glanced behind him at the wall, but seemed to see something else. "W-We should go. What if they come again Zack? Zack?" Cloud's face was a mask of worry and an uncharacteristic dose of fear.

When Zack didn't immediately respond, Cloud whispered the tentative plea again.

The First seemed frozen for a second too long, because Cloud's face again morphed into that blank coldness they'd seen in the interrogation room.

Before Zack could even formulate a thought, Cloud's hand went straight for the throat, and he was forced to parry the blow or end up with a crushed windpipe. Because of the momentum though he stumbled over the edge of the toilet, falling hard between the toilet and the wall, and consequently Cloud got to the other end of the bathroom where Sephiroth was waiting in the doorway. The blond ducked Sephiroth's grab and went for an inside-knee kick that was blocked. They shared a short flurry of blows before Sephiroth was able to catch a grip on one forearm, twisting Cloud with it to disable both arms at once. In seconds the blond was face first on the bathroom floor, Sephiroth holding him down with one arm.

"Zack," Sephiroth said. He could just see the other SOLDIER scrunched in the corner of the bathroom, groaning curses.

"This is going to bruise tomorrow," was all Zack said as he steadied himself, one hand on his lower back.

Sephiroth's free hand moved to the center of Cloud's back as the blond started to struggle, a warning not to try.

"Cloud, we're not going to hurt you. Remember us?" Zack tried, and when the blond seemed to relax marginally and turn his head towards him, Sephiroth relaxed his grip a bit.

"Zack?" Cloud mumbled, half into the floor and half in his general direction.

"Hey buddy, you remember me?" Zack's relief was palpable. Cloud was coming out of it.

"Yeah, we were… we…" Cloud blinked fuzzily and lifted his head off the floor, looking confused before he seemed to refocus on Zack, eyes sharper than they'd been since the elevator. "Zack?"

"You remember anything?"

Cloud tried to shift his arms, and Sephiroth slowly released him. When the blond looked back at the General, there was a flash of surprise and pain before he began to turn bright red. "What happened?"

"You were suffering from a vivid hallucination. Do you recall it?" Sephiroth supplied.

"N-No," Cloud said, and seemed to realize suddenly his state of undress. He hunched over himself, and Zack couldn't hide the amused smile.

"How do you feel? That's more important."

"My skin is… itchy."

"Well, let me run the bath water again, and we'll see about that." Zack smiled and ruffled Cloud's hair as he stood up to go and add hot water again. Sephiroth stood up as well from his crouch and offered Cloud his hand.

The blond took it and stood up, and Sephiroth noticed his embarrassment turned not just his cheeks red, but a fair bit of his neck and upper chest too.

"I apologize if you are bruised or hurt in any way. You seemed to be under the impression we were going to hurt you, and fought well in…" Sephiroth didn't bother to hide the slightest curl of a smirk as his eyes flicked to the boxers and back, and Cloud's ears even took on a faint red tinge.

"Yeah, you were way out of it," Zack called, his grinning face looking back at them. "You even said Sephiroth was dead to me."

"I did?" Cloud's voice cracked and the blush drained away faster than it had appeared, making him look even paler than normal. Sephiroth was rather curious about the reaction.

"Do you remember that?"

"No," Cloud said, his voice and face unreadable. For some reason this troubled Sephiroth quite a bit.

"Let me or Zack know if you remember anything from the…delusion."

Zack announced the bath was ready before the blond had to think up a response.

Minutes later, Cloud was drifting in the hot bath, but unable to fully relax. He remembered everything in a strange blur up to entering the bathroom. After that it was… images. Memories. Fleeing with Zack from Hojo. Then from the Turks. Dipping his hands in the ocean. Flashes of gunshots.

Cloud sunk down further into the bath until the water went up to his chin as Zack knocked and cracked the bathroom door open. "Hey Cloud, seriously I've always got an ear for you," Zack said, and even though Cloud couldn't see him he could tell from Zack's tone he was frowning. "What happened was… violent. Sudden. You were really scary Cloud. I… I know you want to become a SOLDIER, but your face was…"

The First paused for several seconds, and Cloud knew he'd really scared him. Badly. The blond's eyes drifted down to the bubbles, feeling a sense of shame and a strange sort of regret.

"No emotion. Like you were… a robot or something."

A clone. A clone bred to be nothing more than a copy of a perfect SOLDIER. And a failure at that.

"If there's anything on your chest, anything from before Shinra you want to talk about… I'm your friend Cloud, and I want to help."

Cloud kept staring into the bubbles and didn't respond as the door closed.