February 12, 1944

Lucille clutched the edge of the countertop with both hands. The letter and its envelope, wrinkled from both half a world of travel and her own trembling hands, lay on the floor behind her. Pressing a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob, Lucille sucked in a ragged breath. And then another. She stared at the fading yellow-and-white striped wallpaper in front of her without really seeing it. She couldn't think, and at the same time was thinking too much at once.

James. Her James.

Lucille hadn't gotten a letter in a while. But it didn't worry her. War was war, after all. James just wasn't able to write at the moment, too busy fighting the good fight. She had kept herself from expecting letters from him, which made the ones she got all the more precious.

Lucille was only half-aware of her mother slowly entering the kitchen, and she flinched when her mother put an arm around her shaking shoulders. "I am so sorry, sweetheart," her mother said softly. She didn't say anything else, and Lucille was grateful. She wasn't sure she would be able to handle any false promises that everything would be okay. How could anything be okay?

James was gone.

Lucille gently squeezed her mother's hand and stepped out of her embrace. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Lucille managed to fake a shaky smile for her mother. "I'll be okay," she lied. "I'm going to go for a walk." She bent to pick up Colonel Phillips's letter and the envelope and took them with her.

Headquarters Second Battalion

107th Infantry Regiment

U.S. Army

03 January 1943

SGT. JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES

ASN 32557241

107th Infantry Regiment

U.S. Army

Ms. Lucille Rose Hollis,

632 Sterling Place,

Brooklyn,

New York

Dear Ms. Hollis,

As ranking officer in charge of your fiancé's unit, I wish to express not only my sorrow and sympathy but that of the rest of the men of the 107th Infantry for your great loss.

Sergeant Barnes was killed in action during a mission as part of an elite group of soldiers lead by Captain America. Regrettably, the exact details concerning the mission and subsequently Sergeant Barnes's death cannot be released, even to you. However, I hope you can take at least a little comfort in knowing that Sergeant Barnes admirably performed every duty asked of him to the utmost of his abilities, and that his sacrifice will greatly help advance our efforts to end this war.

Unfortunately, we do not have the resources to have Sergeant Barnes sent home to be laid to rest. He will be buried here with honors alongside his comrades who have also fallen in the line of duty to their country. His bravery and sacrifice will never be forgotten.

Sincerely,

CHESTER A. PHILLIPS,

Colonel, SSR,

Commanding

Luci,

I plan to get this letter in with Colonel Phillips's before it leaves for the States. I wish you didn't have to find out about Bucky this way. Hell, I wish that it had never happened in the first place.

Luci, he loved you. You have to know that. Everything Bucky's done, he's done it for you, so you can be safe. Some days he wouldn't stop talking about you – most days, actually. I think the boys were close to stealing a plane so they could bring you to him just to get him to shut up.

I know Colonel Phillips won't tell you anything, so I will. You deserve to know. Bucky was with me and the rest of the 'Howling Commandos', as I guess they're calling us now. Our mission is to take down every HYDRA base we can find. They're the Nazi science division and up to absolutely no good. That day, we were going to board a train that was carrying one of HYDRA's prominent scientists. Phillips wanted him so we could get information on HYDRA. Bucky and I went together, but they were ready for an attack. They have weapons that the Army can only dream of, and when the soldier fired, it threw Bucky from the train. I am so sorry, Luci. I tried to save him, but I couldn't reach him in time. We were on the edge of a cliff, and I don't know if we'll ever find him.

We'll be leaving soon for the next mission, and hopefully after that it will be all over and then you and I can find a way for Bucky to be remembered forever. Stay strong, Luci.

Love,

Steve

-0-

So sorry this one's a few days late - I finally succumbed to whatever flu-y thing has been going around and have spent the majority of the last 3 days sleeping.

Fun fact: this was the very first chapter I wrote for this story. We knew it was coming, right? Nobody wants to punch me? Good. But it still sucks :( The good thing is that I can definitively say that there will be 15 chapters to this story, so we know there's more to come. I'd like to know what you guys are predicting for our characters' futures! Drop a review and let me know! Chapter 8 reviewers, I'll be replying shortly :) Love. (PS, what do you guys think of the new chapter titles? I got bored at work one day..) (PPS, sorry if Phillips's letter looks odd; FF doesn't have the kind of formatting I would have liked)

[Guest.1: All things considered, I'd say she's handling it pretty well, poor thing. Sometimes, I hate what I put characters through.. but that's what makes for good story telling, right? I hope you liked this chapter as well! Thanks so much for your sweet review!

Guest.2: I know there's a legitimate Marvel story line for it, but I actually don't ship Bucky/Nat, so that won't come into play with this story at all. I really appreciate you taking the time to look at our characters' potential futures though! Thanks for your great review!]