Lost but Found Again
Chapter 3
Reconnection
I sat in the park sitting on the bench that overlooked the beautiful ocean. I was early, so I figured I may as well read another letter. I pulled the second letter that Fate had written me. It was dated September 30, 2005. I broke the seal, taking out the paper unfolding it.
Dear Nanoha,
Finally I was able to get to write you another letter. Since we have a game next week, things have been kinda crazy. I know that I'll probably look like a weight lifter the next time I see you. The coach has me lifting many weights. Would you still think I was attractive with huge muscles? Hehe. Just kidding. Well at least I'll be in shape for you. You know how you get when you're in the mood. With the workout I've been on, my stamina and endurance is better so I'll be able to keep up with you. Hehe.
I've been thinking about you a lot. I wish you could be here for my game. Even though you always would embarrass me, I still wish you would be there. I miss you Nanoha. I hope everything is going well with school. I wish I could hold you. I need you right now. You know, I had a dream about you last night? You were really sad. If you are, don't be. Even though we are a part, I only belong to you Nanoha. I love only you. I'll be there soon enough. That's what I'm hoping, but if not, you have my love in these letters. Can you feel it? Can you feel my love for you? Don't ever doubt that it's there, okay my sweet pouting baby? Cuddle bunny loves you.
P.S. I'll let you know how the game goes. Hope that you liked the petal. Did you kiss it a thousand times just knowing that I kissed it? Don't lie. I know you did. Hehe. Love you baby.
Fate
I closed the note placing it over my heart. I'm so sorry Fate. I never got the chance to kiss the petal until last night. I place the letter back inside the envelope and put it back inside my purse.
I had been thinking about a lot of things since Fate came back to Japan and especially since I've gotten these letters. I find myself thinking constantly about what could have been if my parents didn't keep these letters from me. Would Fate and I be happy right now? Would we even still be together? I know we would. We loved each other too much and now that she's back now, what should I do?
"Looks like you have a lot on my mind" I look to my right and see Fate standing not far from me.
She looked beautiful in her black sun dress. She was an angel.
She looked at me curiously and I averted her gazed by looking back at the water.
"Yeah. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately" She takes a seat next to me.
"It's bad?"
"Yes. No. Maybe" I wasn't sure what to think about what I was feeling. I felt good about them, but I didn't because of Yunno.
"Want to talk about it?" I smile a little. It was always like Fate trying to help people out who needed it.
"I went to the café after I talked with you"
"And?"
"I found out that my parents were the reason why I never got your letters. They hid them from me" I turn to her.
"Oh, I see" Her eyes glance sadly at the ground before she brings her eyes to meet mine again. "I guess they don't like me very much huh?" She chuckles a little, but I know that she was hurt.
I place my hand on top of hers. She looks at it for a slit second before she looks back at me. I smile before turning back to the water.
"I don't think it was because they didn't like you. They were just thinking about what was best for me, well that was what they said. I was really mad with them. They shouldn't have made that decision to withhold your letters from me. It wasn't their decision to make" I take a deep breath. "I think I have to go and apologize. I may have hurt their feelings, but I don't think that I can. They really hurt me Fate. They saw how much pain I was going through when you left. I would have been so happy just to see one letter. Just one. I needed only one just to know that there was still hope for us…..to know that you still loved me, but I never got it. I lived the last five years feeling abandoned. Loveless. I was really hurt. Deep down in my heart, I knew you wouldn't leave me, but everything on the outside told me otherwise. Even though I missed you and loved you, I had to move on. I couldn't live like that anymore. It hurt too much"
I could feel Fate's hand moving and soon she held my hand in hers. The gesture warmed my aching heart.
"Did you read them?" I face her. "The letters I mean"
"I've only read two of them. I feel bad because I never was able to read them. I know that it must have been tough on you to send these letters out and not receive any in return. I'm sorry"
"Hey. It's not your fault. You can't help what your parents did. They were trying to look out for their daughter"
"But" I pause. It felt like all the emotions that I felt while Fate was gone came rushing back. The heart ache could have ended if they gave me the letters. Fate and I would be together living a happy life. "But they….they" I feel myself crying. I couldn't hold them in anymore.
Fate quickly wraps me in her arms trying to soothe me by rubbing her hand up and down my back.
"They messed up everything Fate. What we had could still have been going on now if they didn't keep the letters"
"I know that Nanoha. It hurts me to that things had to be this way. I would give anything just to be able to hold you in my arms forever. I would give anything for things to be like how it use to be. But look on the bright side. We have each other now. It may not be how it was before, but we can still be friends. It's going to be hard, but I'll do anything to have you in my life Nanoha….even if we can't be lovers"
Friends? We hadn't been friends in so long. We weren't even friends that long before we started going out. I wonder what it would be like just to be friends. Was it even possible?
"Hey. How about we go and get something to eat? I'm a little hungry. What do you say?" I raised my head from the crook of her neck.
"Sure. I'd like that a lot"
~0~
We were walking down a familiar street in order to get to the place that we wanted to eat. I hadn't been done this street in five years and it amazes me how much it's changed, but also how it's still the same. I recognized some stores and some I didn't. I remember this one store that I loved coming to. I doubt if it was still there though.
I gasp. "What is it Nanoha?"
I was too excited to hear what Fate had just said. I ran over to the store window and started squealing like a little girl when I see the cute teddy bears through the window. They're all so cute.
"Tsk. I should have known. You would always turn into a five year old when we would walk pass this store every single time. I thought you would have at least grown out of it by now, but I've been proven wrong. You're still a kid when it comes to teddy bears" Fate says standing beside me.
I turn my head. A pout instantly comes to my face.
"Fate you meanie" She just laughs at my response.
"I didn't think I would see that pout again" She says still laughing. "Aww it's going to be okay my sweet pouting baby" She says in a baby voice as she squeezes my cheeks.
"Faaaatttteee. Stop it" I whined trying to get her to stop squeezing my now sore cheeks.
She let's go. I see a bunny from the corner of my eye. I smirk.
"You still like to cuddle my cuddle bunny. Wanna put your head in between my breasts?" I say using my hands squeezing my breasts together. She blushes. "You still like it right? To be in between breasts" I say in a seductive voice.
"Nanoha!" She looks to the side, but I could see her peeking from the corner of her eyes.
"I see that you're still capable of blushing like a tomato" I say in a teasing voice.
"And I see that your breasts aren't like little acorns anymore" I can't believe she just said that.
I cross my arms as I pout. "Hmph. You know my breasts weren't little. You definitely weren't saying that when your face was smashed in between them, now were you?"
"No I wasn't. I was joking Nanoha. I just said that to see my sweet pouting baby again"
"You big meanie" I said as I stomped off towards the diner.
"Nanoha. Nanoha! Come on. I was just playing" I could hear her behind me, but I ignored her. "Hey" She says jumping in front of me, which caused me to stop. "Don't be mad"
"I'm not"
"Then you forgive me? Please" She gives me those puppy dog eyes that I knew all too well.
It was coming. I know she's going to do it. Yep she did it. As if on cue, Fate's bottom lip soon began to poke out. This girl still knows how to make me not mad at her. How could I when she looked so cute.
"Okay I forgive you, but no more jokes on my breasts"
"Okay Sorry. I'm really sorry. If it makes you feel better, I loved your breasts. They were some good pillows. I had never slept better" I hit her before going inside the diner.
Fate was always cracking jokes. It's good to see her still being her same old playful self. She was always a hand full.
Once inside, I saw an open booth so I took a seat. Fate soon followed, sitting across from me.
"You should stop leaving me. It's mean"
"Well if you would stop being mean to me then we wouldn't have to worry about that now would we?" I stuck my tongue out at her and she does the same.
The waitress came by and placed two menus on the table.
"Thanks" I said smiling at the waitress.
"Drinks?" She looks from me to Fate. And then she brings her hand to her mouth to cover her smile. "Oh my gosh. You're Fate Testarossa. The soccer player"
"Yeah that's me"
"Can I have your autograph?"
"Sure, but only if you don't tell anyone else that I'm here"
"I won't say a word" Fate opens her hand and the waitress gives her a piece of paper from her pad and a pen. Fate writes her signature and then gives it back to the waitress. "Thank you. What would you like to drink then" she said looking at Fate.
She totally is ignoring me.
"She wants a water with a lemon on the side and I'll have a coke" The waitress writes it down.
"Water and coke coming up" She smiles and walks away.
I pick up the menu browsing it.
"So I guess if we were still together, that would be the kind of treatment I would get?"
"Yep pretty much. All the attention would be on me and everyone would be envious of you"
"Well that would suck"
"Well at least the lady was nice enough to write your drink down"
"Well that's only because you ordered it for me. And what makes you think that I wanted a water anyway?" I look at her for a second before going back to the menu.
"Well you didn't say that you didn't want it. Besides, you would always get it when we use to come here"
"So you think you know everything about me huh?" I said still looking at the menu.
"Yes I do"
"Is that so?" I place the menu on the table.
"Yes"
"Enlighten me then"
"Okay. You like cute teddy bears for one. I'm sure you have one sitting on your bed right now" She was right, but I didn't let her know that I did have one on my bed. "You like cheesy romance movies. You sing when you're sad and you love to look up at the stars. And you like this…." Her voice trailed off.
I was waiting for her to say something else, but nothing came. Then all of a sudden, I could feel a soft foot going up my leg. It startled me at first. I looked under the table and it definitely was her.
"Fate, what are you doing?" I whispered leaning over the table a little bit.
"Just doing what you like" I could feel her foot going under my dress. "I remember when we came here a while ago. It wasn't my foot that went up your dress that time right?" I blushed and she smirked.
I thought back to that day when Fate and I last came here and she was right. Her hand went up my dress that day. I had to shake my head. I shouldn't be thinking about that right now.
"Stop teasing me Fate. It isn't funny"
"Who said that I was?" She smirks.
"You better stop it right now" My whisper even lower since the waitress was coming back.
She removed her foot as the waitress came to the table placing the drinks down. She still had that sick smile on her face. She may as well just start drooling already.
With the waitress occupied with Fate, I saw this as an opportunity for my revenge for that little stunt she pulled. So I kicked her on the leg as I continued to smile at the waitress.
"Oww" Fate shot me a glare, but I didn't pay her any mind.
"Are you guys ready to order?"
"Yeah. I'll have the chicken Caesar salad with a side of fries" I look at Fate. My smile still on my face. She continued to glare at me before it turned into a smile as she looked at the waitress.
"I'll have what she's having" The waitress wrote the order down then left moments after. "You didn't have to kick me like that" She whispered immediately after the waitress left.
"Well you shouldn't have sexually assaulted me with your foot then" I whispered back.
She started laughing and so did I. It was good that we could still joke around like this.
"So, tell me about this person that you're marrying" I really was surprised that she wanted to talk about Yunno. I thought that would be the last person that she would want to bring up in a conversation.
"Are you sure that you want to talk about that?"
"Yeah it's fine. So tell me about him"
"Well he's a really nice guy. We met about two years ago at the University. I really didn't want to go out with him at first because I was still waiting for you, but then I was just like what the hell. I should just go for it since I thought you weren't coming back" I could see sadness flicker in her eyes. It broke my heart. "He's been really good to me"
"I'm happy then" she smiles, but I know that it was a forced one. "That's all I want for you Nanoha"
"Thank you. I hope for the same for you"
Fate may be smiling, but I knew that she was hurting inside. I needed to lighten up the mood.
"I've been looking at some old photos of us since you've come back"
"Well I need to get some from you because I only have one picture of us"
"Really? What Picture is that?" She reaches for her purse and pulls out her wallet. She opens it and pulls out a picture and hands it to me.
"Oh my gosh. Look at us"
It was a picture of me and Fate at the beach. We went before she had left for the U.S. She looked so beautiful in her black bikini and I had on the sexy pink one that she made me wear. Fate held me tightly when we took this picture. I never wanted to leave her arms.
"You remember that day?"
"How could I forget? We went before you left. We had so much fun then. And if I remember correctly, I remember a certain blonde girl seducing me to the point that she took my top off without me noticing while we were in the water and then ran off" I said glaring at her. She laughs.
"I said I was sorry didn't I?"
"Yeah you did, but you were always a big meanie"
"No, it was just that I wanted to see my sweet pouting baby" I give her another mean look before looking back at the picture. "But I did make it up to you right?" I look at her and she grins.
A smile comes to my face just thinking about it.
"Yeah you did. You took me to a secluded area on the beach and you had a small dinner prepared. It was really nice" I begin to trace Fate's face on the picture. "Then we danced under the stars before we made love. I'll never forget that day. It was one of the best days of my life"
"Mine's too" I handed her back the picture. She grabs my hand. "I wouldn't mind making more memories with you. Well if you want to"
"I would love to" and she takes the picture and places it back in her wallet. "So, how long will you be staying in Japan?
"For two months. I'll be staying at mom's until September 30th" Huh?
"You said the 30th of September?"
"Yeah. Why?" she looks at me curiously.
"That's the day of my wedding" There was silence between us. The waitress comes back placing our food down, but I guess seeing the mood at the table, she just decided to leave.
"I hope that he'll treat you right Nanoha" Fate says in a somber voice.
"I'm sure he will"
~0~
After the diner, Fate walked me back to my car. It was getting late, so I figured it would be best to end things for today.
"Thanks for today Fate. I had fun"
"Yeah me too. Let's do it again sometime"
"I would love that"
"Well I have to catch the subway, so I better go. See ya" and she turns.
"Hey Fate" she turns back.
"I can give you a ride home. It's on the way to my house"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It would make me happy"
"Okay. Thanks" and we proceed to my car and get in once I unlock the doors.
On the way to her mom's house, we talked about her home in the U.S., her life as an athlete, and her life in general. I was happy to know more about what happened when she left Japan. It made me feel close to her again.
In no time, we arrived at her mom's place. I put the car in park and faced her.
"Well here we are"
"Yeah" Silence.
I wasn't sure what to do now. It was a little weird because we weren't dating anymore, so do I just hug her? This was frustrating.
"I had fun today. I haven't had this much fun in a long time. Being an athlete can really cause me to miss out on fun things"
"Well I'm happy that we could have fun together" I said smiling. She smiles back.
"I'm just happy that we could reconnect again"
"Me too Fate" She then leans in my direction. Was she going to kiss me? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't moving either.
Her lips kissed my left cheek. It lingered for a few extra seconds, but I didn't mind. She moved her head and places her mouth by my ear. I was captivated by her smell as I inhaled all that was her. She still smelled like lavender even after all these years.
"I just wanted to tell you that this is hard for me Nanoha. It took everything that I have in me not to kiss you just now. Like I said, I'll do anything for you, even if that's being your friend" she whispers. She kisses my cheek once more before she pulls her face away from me. "Good night Nanoha" she smiles.
"Good night" and with that, she opens the door and heads for the front door of the house. Before going in, she looked back at me. It was a loving yet longing glance. She waves and I wave back and she goes in the house and I drive off.
Friends. That's what Fate and I would have to be. I'm happy that we can still be in each other's lives, but it doesn't cease the aching pain that I feel in my chest.
~0~
I make it home just before ten thirty. I walk into the living room and find Yunno sitting down on the couch.
"Hey Nanoha. Where were you? I was worried"
"I was with Fate today"
"The woman that was at the café the other day?" he gives me a curious look.
"Yeah"
"Just who she to you anyway?"
I didn't know what to say. Do I tell him about her and our past together, or just say she's my friend. I mean that's what we are now. No. I'm going to tell him about our past. It would be stupid to lie. He would probably find out somehow.
"She's my ex" He laughs, but stops when he sees the seriousness of my face. This to me, was no laughing matter.
"You two dated?" he said with a shocked expression.
"Yeah. It was back in high school"
"So this was the person that you told me about before we started dating? She was the reason why you wouldn't go out with me before?" I nod. "Do you still have feelings for her?" I didn't want to answer that. I couldn't.
"We're just friends okay?" I wrap my arms around his neck. "What we had was over five years ago. You don't have anything to worry about" I kiss him. I couldn't tell him what I really felt in my heart.
"Okay, if you say so. But I really don't trust her with you. It seemed that she was still in love with you by how she acted at the café. Just be careful okay?"
"Okay" We kiss again.
"Are you coming to bed?
"In a little. I have something I want to do downstairs"
"Okay" And with that, he goes to bed.
I make my way into the basement. I remove one of the pictures from the wall. Twisting the combination lock to the right numbers. I twist the knob when it was unlocked and I take out a shoe box and the stack of letters.
I take a seat on the nearby recliner, opening the shoe box. Inside laid all my most precious memories and things that meant the world to me and they all involved Fate. I pick up the first picture on top. It was a photo me and Fate took after we started going out. I can remember it as if it happened yesterday.
"Hey Nanoha. Um…I think you're cute. Wanna…. go out?" A fifteen year old Fate said to a fourteen year old Nanoha. She looked like a tomato due to the deep blush on her cheeks.
"Yeah sure. I think you're cute too Fate. Nya haha"
"Well since we're going out… do you…do you wanna kiss?" Fate's blush deepened.
Without Nanoha saying anything, she walks over to Fate. Fate's eyes widen a little from the closeness of Nanoha. Standing on her tippy toes, fourteen year old Nanoha kisses fifteen year old Fate to seal their new relationship.
It brought a smile to my face just thinking about it. I moved on to another picture with me sitting in between Fate's legs as she holds me under the cherry blossom trees in the park. That day was the happiest day of my life.
"I love you Nanoha" Sixteen year old Fate whispered softly into fifteen year old Nanoha's ear. She placed a soft kiss upon her cheek.
"What?" Nanoha being surprised turned to see a blushing Fate.
"I love you Nanoha" Nanoha smiles before placing a tender kiss on Fate's lips. She rests her head upon Fate's.
"I love you too"
Looking at the pictures was starting to cause me pain, so I decided to read one of Fate's letters. The letter was dated November 10, 2005.
Dear Nanoha,
I've had two games this week and I'm beat. But I do have good news though. We WON both of them. I was so proud of myself. Every time we had a game, I would kiss the necklace that you gave to me and we ended up winning afterwards. I tell you it's a lucky charm or something. No. I think it's lucky because it came from you. Yeah, that's why it must be lucky. I bet keeping this necklace will bring me more good fortune. I'll never take it off. I promise. Are you still wearing yours? You better be. I think if we both wear them at the same time, then our hearts will always be bonded. Keep thinking of me okay? I love you.
P.S. I know you're probably busy, but if you can, send me a letter. I want to know what's going on with you.
Love
Fate
The necklace that Fate talked about, I didn't even know if I had it still. I quickly rummage through my box of memories in search of it. There. There it was. I pulled it out of the box. I had taken it off so long ago that I didn't even remember the last time I wore it. It was a black necklace with half a heart attached. In the middle of the heart, the letter F was engraved in it. I place it to my lips, remembering its purpose.
"Here" a seventeen year old Nanoha gave a little black box to an eighteen year old Fate. "Open it" Fate slowly opens the box and gasps.
"It's beautiful Nanoha. Thank you" It was a necklace with a half heart with the letter N attached. She takes it out of the box and puts it around her neck.
"I have the same thing" She shows Fate her necklace with the letter F on it. "It shows that you have my heart and that I have yours. And when we bring the two heart pieces together, it means that we will be truly together again. Don't forget that while you're gone okay?"
"I won't. You'll have my heart forever"
"And you'll always have mine"
Hope you guys liked this. Please review of course. Things are going good for right now, but for how long? See ya next chapter