Chapter 5

When you wish upon a star and other unrelated events

John Martin-

With some careful poking, nudging, and threatening from Patty, Yu-chan (as we've been informed to call her) agreed to join us at Minami's house for a rousing game of See What Shit Nero Brought. Yea, poor Yutaka got stuck helping us unpack though I always say the more the merrier. With Patty, Minami, and Yu-chan's help, we began the long process of unpacking instruments and bags. Patty and I started in my room, throwing open my suitcase and tossing things in the many drawers. Unfortunately for Yu-chan, she got stuck helping Nero, which would probably end horribly. Even worse for Minami, she was lugging our crap up and down stairs.

From the other room, I could hear Yutaka. "Nero, where do you want these."

"Put those in the lower drawer."

"How about this?"

"Upper drawer."

"And these."

"How about you fucking figure that out for yourself? I'm a guy; do you think I care?" Poor Yutaka, I hope Nero's patient problem wouldn't scar her innocence. Patty and I did basically the same thing. She threw open my first suitcase and began rummage through my crap. She looked like mole digging in the dirt only this mole's shirt hung open slightly… I couldn't keep my eyes straight.

"Ha, you still wear these!" Patty pulled up a pair of my briefs that I hid deep down in the bowls of my luggage. I wasn't really embarrassed by it; Patty had seen my underwear more than once. I was more pissed she was playing around with it.

I grumbled. "Put those back and do some work for a change!" Crumpling them up into a ball, Patty chucked them at me. The briefs flew open and stuck to my head, covering my left eye. She burst into laughter. Ok, I got it; I looked an idiot. "Why don't you put my shirts somewhere?"

"You're no fun anymore," Patty said with a pout, "What happened to fun loving John with the game systems and anime?"

"He's still around," I replied, "but work always comes first." Patty sighed while she gathered up my plan T-shirts and hung them in the closest. This was awesome! She was like my own personal maid. I bet I could just sit down and have her do all the work. Having a schoolgirl maid…in uniform….damn it's just a little to stimulating at this moment. While I contemplated whether or not it was morally sound to a stiffy at this moment, Patty swung around; her skirt fluttered in the breeze she created.

She asked, "Why didn't you ever introduce me to your friends? They're awesome." She seemed like the only person who thought that. I could tell Minami and Kagami were downright disgusted by them. They had a right to be disgusted.

"They're over the top," I answered, "Unlike your friends, mine are very…unique."

"Unique describers my friends to a key," Patty scolded, "What about Miyuki? Smart, big boobs, glasses, instant moe." Ok fine, Miyuki was the human Wikipedia with glass and a chest to boot. She was unique in a way. "And what about Konata, you'll get along with her." Patty's anime obsessed landowner (daughter of the landowner I guess) seemed interesting too from everything she told me. "Even Yutaka-chan is a walking source of moe. She and Miyuki make like the moe battery."

I shook my head. "Yutaka isn't moe. She's just dense."

"She's moe!" Patty yelled, "Guess who gets sick all the time. Guess who is small and defenseless. She's moe to the max." All right, I'll give Patty the benefit of the doubt. As she ranted, my head merely nodded in unison to her flapping arms.

"How about this?" I posed, "Is Minami or Hiyori moe?" Patty's eyes widen as she cocked her head. As if pondering a homework question, she scratched her chin, tapped her foot, rolled her eyes, and then…fell asleep. I snapped my fingers a couple to times to wake her back up.

Patty said as her eyes opened, "Not as much as Yutaka or Miyuki. But if you tried hard enough, you could prove they're moe."

"Sounds like you have enough information to write a paper."

Patty's thumb shot up. "I have for school." She's got to be kidding me… "We were supposed to write about things that interests us in Japanese culture. The teacher said it was one of the best papers she's ever read, but I still got a D because it had nothing relevant to do with Japan's culture. I then wrote another ten page paper explaining the reason why moe was relevant to Japan." Patty continued on like this for about five more minutes. Half listening, I placed my jeans and shorts inside the middle drawer of the dressers. Everything needs to be nice and neat after all. When I returned to the conversation, Patty finished up. "and Kuroi told me that I needed to stuff it because this anime stuff had nothing to do with historical Japanese culture. I gave up after that…"

"Sounds like fun," I replied after paying attention to about ten percent of the whole conversation. I lifted up a pair of extra shoes I brought. "Could you stick these on the closet floor?" As Patty and I emptied one suitcase, the door bell chimed. My cousin's ears perked up. Like a horse being led to water, she wandered out the door, down the stairs to the main hall. Minami was already opening the door.

A familiar face and two not so familiar faces stood out front. The first girl in the middle was our friend with the pig tails…Kagami was it? I'd find out eventually. The girl to her left looked very similar, twins perhaps. The only difference was this girl's hair was cut real short, and a bow sat in her hair. I won't brag about being good with people, but I could tell that Kagami's look alike was far easier to talk to. A girl with long blue hair stood on her right. She looked relaxed, constantly relaxed. Her eyes, her body, even her feet, never seemed to once move.

Minami bowed. "Hiiragi-san, and Izumi-san, hello. Um…did you need something?"

"I called them!" Patty yelled, "Well, I called Konata; she agreed to help."

"Yea, we were in the area," Konata explained. She held up a bag containing what looked like books. "Bought some new manga."

Kagami grunted. "I swear all you blow your money on is manga and games." Though quick to judge, Kagami looked away from her short friend and shot me a glance. She waved with a smile on her face. Looks like the animosity from earlier was gone. "Hey there…John?"

"Yea, it's John," I replied, stepping past my cousin, "I'm Patricia's cousin. I'm glad to know you don't hate me."

"Hate you?" Kagami said, "No, but you're white haired friend is a bit of an ass."

Minami sighed. "Nero…takes some getting used to. I'm not even quite there yet."

"He's a good guy," I assured. I then remembered that Kagami brought along her clone and the midget. Remembering my Japanese classes (we didn't take them for nothing), I bowed. "Hello, my name is John Martin, I love to read. I would appreciate if we could all be friends."

Konata's eyes lit up. "Ichinose!" Her voice carried throughout the house. Perhaps I was a little off with my greeting… We stood there staring at her, unsure of what happened. Well, Patty got it; she bobbed up and down with a sparkle in her teeth.

"Why do I have a feeling you gave us another anime reference…" Kagami muttered.

"Would you expect any difference?" Konata replied, stepping through into Minami's house. She forcefully shook my hand as thought she was trying to rip it off. "Hey there, I'm Konata Izumi. Patty's said quite a lot about you."

I laughed. "Like what? Let me guess, I'm awesome and sweet."

"No, she said you were a loser…" My heart instantly sank. She…she didn't really mean that did she. I glanced back at Patty, who furiously shook her head. Her entire face was beat red.

Before I could even continue, Kagami's clone stepped forward. She bowed. "Hello, I'm Tsukasa Hiiragi. I'm Kagami's sister."

"So you're not a clone?" I inquired. Tsukasa cocked her head. Seems my comment flew straight over her head.

"You'll quickly learn that Tsukasa gets very little," Kagami explained.

Tsukasa stomped her foot. "Sis, don't say that." Ah yea, the bond between siblings. Lucky for me, I only had my older brother Rick to worry about, and he was off in college. I hated Rick; he was an ass and more so then Nero. Mr. Fancy ass doctor pants continuously tormented my childhood. But he was off at college now, so I never saw him.

"John," Minami asked, pulling me away from my tormented memories, "Are the other guys coming as well?"

"Yea," I replied, "Dean and Cock Face said they'd be over once everyone unpacked." Konata and Tsukasa gave me the oddest stares. I guess the nickname Cock Face really was strange. I quickly explained to them the situation and assured that they could call him Randy.

"Cock Face, huh," Konata said with a smirk, "I think I might just call him that."

Kagami pounded her friends head. "That's' disgusting. Don't even start." While those two started playing with each other, Tsukasa approached me with a bag. It was made of blue cellophane, and on the inside, cookies poked through the wrapping.

"Konata said I'd be meeting you guys, so I brought the cookies I made in home economics." I gratefully took the bag. See, this was what a real introduction should be like. Through there were only four cookies in the bag, I mashed two in my mouth, downing them without a problem. Tsukasa's mouth dropped. "Those were for all four of you…"

"Oh sorry…" I said, "I wasn't thinking."

"You never think John," Patty teased. As we became acquainted, a shrill scream bellowed from the upstairs. It was not Nero that was for sure. Everyone charged up the stairs; Minami led the pack. For the love of God Nero, you better not have done something weird. I will seriously bust some nuts if anything happened to that poor girl. It's bad enough she has to deal with you to begin with. As we neared Nero's room, we noticed he too was running for the entrance.

"What happened?" Patty asked.

Nero shook his head. "I don't know. I was taking a piss and… Oh hello." He waved to the two new girls in our group. Nero Rule Number 1: if there is a girl there you haven't met, greet them cause you can get in their pants that much quicker. "Anyways, I was in the bathroom and then there was a scream, and I don't know what's going on." After his quick explanation, Nero pushed his way past us to Konata and Tsukasa in the back.

"Hi, I'm Nero," he introduced.

"Stop with the formal introductions!" Kagami yelled, "Yutaka might be hurt!" Nero couldn't even get a word in edge wise. Minami busted down the door, and Yutaka sat in the middle of the floor. Everything looked calm, normal except for one thing. Nero's black bag spilt all over the floor; his DVDs spread to the far corners of the room. Yutaka had one in her hand.

Patty was the first to pick one up. "Oh Oh oh, we have a naughty boy here." She held the DVD up like it was the Holy Grail. "Is this your porn John, is it?" Every eye was on me. I had Konata and Patty who shot me mocking thumbs ups. They couldn't care. Minami and Kagami shook their head in disgust; I guess my image in their eyes dropped. Then there was Tsukasa, who like Yutaka, was freaking out in the corner.

"Nah." Nero to the rescue. "That's all mine. I take pride in having the largest lesbian porn collection ever assembled in one basement…at least in Rhode Island."

"That isn't something to take pride in!" Kagami yelled. She tore the DVD out of Patty's hand, sending it flying out the door and over the stair railing. A thump was heard seconds later.

Nero gripped her shoulders. "What the fuck, you bitch! I paid like thirty bucks for that."

"It's disgusting and degrading!" Kagami shot back, "Plus, look at Yutaka." Shit…we completely forgot about her. Minami lunged on her friend, pulling her head away from the DVD mess. Her face vibrated red as foam formed at her mouth. She passed out… Nero burst into laughter as he saw this; the rest of us weren't as amused.

"Yutaka-chan," Minami called as if she was dying, "Please, snap out of it." Yutaka showed no signs of waking up. Once again, Nero to the rescue. For the record, Nero was a master at waking people up. Whether he did it nicely by holding their nose or beating their bellies or meanly by spewing cheese wiz up their nose, he got the job done. Nero's finger gripped Yutaka's nostrils. In seconds, the small girl's eyes flashed open as she gasped for breath.

Konata laughed. "Nice one."

"Thanks," Nero replied, "I take pride in being the best waker upper… at least in Rhode Island."

"You take pride in a lot of things…" Kagami sarcastically muttered.

"Sis…" Tsukasa said. She obviously was the complete one eighty of her sister.

Ignoring us, Minami helped Yutaka to her feet. "Are you sure you can stand?"

"I'm not a little kid," the red head returned. Considering she just passed out from seeing the cover to a porn DVD, Yutaka had a lot of growing up to do. In fact, she still seemed wobbly, and Minami helped her down stairs. We joined down in the main hall; my bags remained unpacked. So much for a day of unpacking.

While Nero gathered up his questionable collection, I sat down with the Hiiragi sisters, who I hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk with. "It's not every day I get to meet twins." Tsukasa laughed like a kid while Kagami's eyes turned to slits.

"You sound like an old man…" she muttered, "It's not that weird."

"I meant nothing perverted by it," I defended, "I've never met a pair of twins before."

Tsukasa smiled. "Me and sis do everything today. It's been that way since we were little kids." Kagami nodded with a sigh. Despite her reaction, she deeply cared for her sister. I could tell cause I hated my brother. Actually, I'd give a lot to have a relationship like that with him. No, I lied. My brother's a dick.

"Tsukasa has always been the baby of the family," Kagami explained, "She's pretty useless."

"Kagami!" Tsukasa yelled, "I'm not useless."

Her sister laughed. "No, you can cook and clean.

"You'll make a great housewife," I joked. Tsukasa's eyes lit up as she thought about being married to someone. I hit some form of happy button with my comment. Like star, her eyes twinkled. However, Kagami was the black hole that devoured those stars. She shoved her sister, snapping her out of lala land.

"A house wife isn't a career…"

"That's not true," I defended, "Many a great woman have proven themselves to the kitchen and around the house." Ok, maybe I was being a tad sexist. What the hell… "My mom went from being a crazy party girl to wife almost overnight. My dad hardly recognized the change, and, now she cooks three square meals a day, does housework, and laundry. When I was younger, she not only did all that and managed to run me to school, take me friends' houses and clubs, and even around town if I wanted something. Never once did she ever bat an eye or complain. She's super woman." Tsukasa applauded my speech. If Patty could write a fucking paper on why anime is a central part of Japanese culture, I could explain the importance and prowess of an American house wife. Hell, my paper would be far more important.

Kagami returned with some snide remark, "Well don't you just have your woman picked out…"

"Yes, but she isn't be good at cooking or housework or anything that involved work," I replied. Patty had always been a tad…lazy. I was amazed she stayed skinny. Throughout our childhood, I never once saw her play a sport or exercise. She always sat on her ass, playing Super Smash Bros with us.

"So you have someone special then?" Kagami posed with a smirk. Shit…if I wasn't careful I could spill the beans right here…in front of Patty. No, I would not be forced to remove my poster, pictures, and desktop wallpaper. They were sacred!

"I think it's great when two people can come together," Tsukasa said, "Have you told her yet?" No… I didn't get a chance to say that though. Nero, who was banging on the grand piano in Minami's family room, overheard us. She slipped into the room, coming up right behind us as though she was sneaky.

He chuckled. "Are you serious? John wouldn't tell her event if the fate of humanity rested on his shoulders. He's gay, I swear." I'll ignore that comment.

"What, are you scared?" Kagami inquired. Yea, it wasn't the actually asking her out part. It was the "we were cousins and that's kinda very creepy." I'd rather watch Patty from a far then be labeled a massive creeper. Fuck… I probably am a massive creeper.

"John's not scared!" If I didn't think my life would get much worse, Patty popped into the conversation. With her hands on her hips, she tossed her arms around me. God, this was so stimulating… "Come on John, ask your cousin for anything, and I'll hook you up!" If I prayed hard enough, I wonder if God would strike me down with a lightning bolt or something. Maybe he could hit me with an exploding cow, so I wouldn't feel any pain. Wait, an exploding cow might hurt if the blast doesn't fully tear the flesh from my bones.

"I think I'll just hang around and be good," I replied, "Thanks for the offer…"

Kagami rolled her eyes. "I thought you American guys were more aggressive."

I sighed. "That's Nero's department." My friend proudly nodded.

"I'd fuck pretty much any chick above a seven," he replied. Thank you Nero for that rousing comment. I'm sure everyone just wants a piece of you now. I suddenly regretted this whole trip.

"I'm amazed you can talk to your mom with that mouth…" Kagami grunted. And the fighting ensued.

Vvvvvvvv

Minami Iwasaki-

I didn't mind having some friends over but the whole lot was rather irritating. I had Hiiragi-san and Nero fighting in the one room, John and Tsukasa trying to break them up, and Patty egging it on. Luckily, Yutaka hadn't quite recovered from her adventure. Konata was busily flipping through a manga Patty gave her. She hardly made a peep.

"You don't need to sit around me, Minami-chan," Yutaka said, "I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?" I asked, "You couldn't stand before. Do you want something to drink?" Konata laughed. She gave me a smirk and a wave. What was that supposed to mean? I had this weird feeling coming from my Hiyori, Patty, and Konata; they always gave me weird glance when Yutaka was around.

Yutaka smiled. "No, I'm ok."

"Yu-chan, can really take beating," Konata informed. Was she crazy? The same girl who would faint after being hit with a dodge ball, the same girl who would need to go to the nurses on a regular basis, the same girl who misses school more than anyone else. Seeing my expression, Konata went on, "Yea, she fell down the stairs two days ago when we were at a mall. Like twenty guys ran up to her."

"They were very nice," Yutaka added. Perhaps her innocence was something that made her so appealing. I sighed, knowing that Konata considered this moe or whatever they called it. Actually, I was thinking the same thing. I started picturing Yutaka with one of those guys; they were handsome with flowing hair and riding a white horse. He tore through a castle, slaughtering the evil black knight along the way. Then when he saved the princess, they shared a passionate kiss.

Konata grinned. "Jealous?"

"Minami-chan, your face has gone blank like Tamura-chan's."

I shook my head frantically. "I'm not jealous at all." Konata laughed even harder. No…you just completely mistook what I said.

"Don't worry Minami," my red haired friend assured, "I'm sure if you fall down, someone will come and help you." Not you too… I wasn't jealous for the perverted reasons Konata said or the innocent reason Yutaka gave. I was rather plan…guys never really liked me. Yutaka's so small and adorable that any guy would be line up to meet her.

Just when I didn't want to see another boy, the doorbell rang. Randy and Dean were at the door when I answered. Tsukasa and Konata quickly introduced themselves, and we were one big happy family. Well, Nero and Kagami argued like siblings; it was rather tiresome.

"Miyuki-san couldn't come?" Konata posed.

"Nah," Randy replied, "She had to go to the dentist, so she told us to go ahead."

Tsukasa shivered. "Poor Yuki-chan, she hates the dentist." Miyuki and Tsukasa went off about the dentist quite a bit. I always liked mine; he was nice and gave me a lollipop when I was younger. They talked as if the dentist was some evil maniac with drills and weapons. Well, I always took good care of my teeth.

Konata looked to Nero. "I got a question. Do guys like the dentist more than girls?"

"I don't know," Nero replied, "Why?"

"Well, they say a drill is sorta like a guy's dick."

Kagami yelled. "Don't just say it like that. It's embarrassing." Have you heard the guys around us talk? They seem completely fine with every vulgar word in the dictionary; they won't complain. However, Tsukasa hadn't gotten used to the direction most conversations went. She stared at her sister, asking what was going on.

It didn't help that Nero was more than willing to add his comment. "When you put it that way, I guess you could say guys like it more. I've never needed a tooth filled, but the drill is like my cock."

"I'd say it's more like a submarine." Dean threw in.

"Why?" Tsukasa posed with a questioning and shocked look.

"Cause its long, hard, and full of semen." The room went quite. Nero shot Dean the finger, mouthing fag as if Dean spoke some horrible words. I wanted the conversation to change.

"Hey, I brought all the instruments in," I informed, "We haven't heard you guys play ever so could you give us a show?" The group glanced at each other before sighing. That was right; they needed a lead guitarist. However, Nero moved to the piano, throwing open the cover and tapping a few of the keys. Earlier, he just bashed on them for fun, but he played a sweet tune.

Randy said, "We could do a short number on that. Dean, you in?"

Dean nodded. "Oh yea guys." They gathered around the piano. We leaned in impatiently, awaiting a song to fill our ears. John sat with Patty and Yutaka; a grin was on his face. The guys began discussing what song they would perform.

Kagami looked over at John. "Don't you play?"

"No" he replied, "I don't have any musical talent. I can't even keep a beat. I'm just the manager."

"Then how did you know these guys were even good?" she posed. John smacked his stomach a couple of times. Considering what I'd seen the in the last day, his answer wouldn't shock me.

"I went with my gut. If my mom taught me anything, it was your gut doesn't lie." It sounded like the typical fairytale. Now, it was time to determine if the fairytale was real or some warped vision that John dreamed up one night. Nero clapped his hands, garner our attention.

As his fingers tapped on the keyboard he began his solo with nothing but the piano to accompany. "I cry for you, now cry for me." As the song continued, the other two joined in; Randy's voice rang higher than most girls. He nailed every falsetto to near perfection. Dean sang bass, not doing a shabby job himself. The three men played on; our eyes glaze over. They were good…no…really good. My fingers tingled. The feeling of playing the piano came back to me. The music jived through the air, wrapping its arm arms around each of us. This band with the bad manners, obnoxious name, and over the top personality changed completely. They were graceful, powerful, and loving. A passion beyond any I'd seen before oozed from their body. My eyes widened; my finger mimicked the notes Nero played. My mouth went dry; I wanted to play, no, I needed to play with these guys. A sudden burst of energy shot through me. A song that lasted a bit over two minutes ended with applause. I was the only one who didn't clap. Awe overtook me.

"That was great!" Tsukasa congratulated, "I've never met a real band before." Nero played a quick song on the keyboard.

His finger shot towards her. "Thanks, doll face!"

"I guess going with your gut worked!" Patty high fived her cousin. "What song was that?'

Randy answer, "One from a musical believe it or not. Actually, it's the only one we really know for just piano." Nero began playing the notes again, and though there was no singing this time, I heard the words in my head. Congratulations and compliments circled in our group. Even Kagami had to agree.

"Who would have thought you guy's could actually do something?" She insulted/commented.

Nero didn't take well to this. Taking his left hand, he pretended to cup something. "Hey Kagami, these are my balls." His right hand pretended to grip a cylinder of some time. "This is my shaft." Using his head, he motioned to his right hand. "And this is your hand." He shook his right hand up and down, acting like he was…do I even need to say. Finally at the end, he produced a fake geyser along with "spoosh" sound effect.

Tsukasa cut in before another fight could start. "Kona-chan said you guys were here to participate in the Concert."

"That's right," John replied, "Well, we're out of luck without a guitarist."

"If this was Haruhi," Konata began, "You could get Nagato to memorize all the song in three minutes." With the exception of John, the three band member stared at her blankly. Nero stood up in anger.

"Ok," he announced, "If someone's going to mention an anime, manga, Jap movie, or anything pertaining to this country, I would appreciate a warning, so I know when to stop giving a fuck!"

Yutaka ignored Nero. "So you guys can't audition without another member?" John nodded sadly. The entire grouped looked down; Nero banged on the keys. I looked at my hands, which had once been callused, and the upstairs, where my guitar waited. People told me I was to quiet and never stood out. I liked it that way; I was shy and nervous around most. Seeing the pained eyes of my friends, of Patty's cousin, and of the band, I felt obligated to do something. I rose from my seat. Everyone stared.

"Minami-chan, where are you going?" Patty asked as I ran up the stairs. I said nothing, plowing into my room. The tore open the closest, pushed back the clothes, and there he was. Encased in a sacred black case, my guitar waited for years to be loved again. My fists clenched; the calluses seemed to return. My hands touched the sleek case, opening the locks with one smooth motion. In that case was an old friend.

I headed downstairs, holding the guitar like a child. Everyone was worried when I returned; they planned a search party to see what was up. When I returned with my instrument, all eyes shot to me. Nero's mouth dropped as I held the guitar up like a sword. Maybe this was a mistake? Did they even want me?

"You gotta be kidding!" Nero muttered.

Vvvvvvvvvvvv

Props to anyone who got my Clannad reference above. Also, anyone who got what song the guys sang gets extra credit. It's "Cry for Me" from the musical Jersey Boys. I needed them to perform something and I was listening to it, so it sort of worked.

I'm sure some of you have started to notice little homage's to music and bands littered throughout my book. You'll probably find the most from The Beatles and the Four Seasons considering I know the most about them. However, I do have a few other jokes in there that pertain to other groups. If you can pick some out, I'll mention your names in the next chapter. I'll give you a head start. In chapter one, John says the band went under the persona Robert E. Lee and the Rebels and they dressed in Confederate Uniforms from the American Civil War. This is a joke based on a 60s group known as Paul Revere and the Raiders, who dressed in colonial uniforms.

See you in chapter 6.