All right, hopefully it won't take me two weeks to publish this chapter. I just finished the hard edits on my original story, so I should get a little more time for Lucky Star.
Here we go
Chapter 7
Gambles and Merchandising.
Minami Iwasaki
I considered myself to be smart. I got in the top ten of our class, I tutored kids sometimes, and aced tests almost every time. I studied and worked hard. However, gambling was not my forte. The moment the dice left Ko's hand, my heart followed to the desk and bounced around in gory delight. My knees quaked as they seemed to endlessly bounce around. This must be how professional poker players feel, and I quickly shut my eyes, unable to look at the hand I was dealt. Yutaka's gasp sent a surge of energy into; I had sometime good. I felt it.
"Ohhh, eight," Ko said, pointing to my number lower than ten. I lost… Damn, and I thought Yutaka's gasp was a good thing.
Hiyori patted my shoulder. "It's ok. She beats me all the time at dice." They're probably rigged then.
"All right, I want the dirt," Ko said, "We made a deal, and you lost." Yutaka tugged on my shirt sleeve. She knew what this meant. Ko wasn't much of a blabber mouth; I feared Patty more than I did her. The only difference was Ko had contacts, contacts, who like Patty, could spread rumors around like a virus. Fortunately for me, Patty kept her mouth shut. Would Ko do the same?
"Why do you want to know so much?" Yutaka asked. The upper classmen shot her a nasty glare that put my poor friend in her place. As representative of the nurse's office and Yutaka's friend, I couldn't let the stand. Nero taught me something yesterday. I had to take control.
I said, "Patricia Martin's cousin and his friend are currently staying at my house and Miyuki Takura's house."
"Who's Miyuki Takura?" Hiyori cupped her hands a couple inches away from her breasts.
Ko snapped her fingers. "You mean boob girl." Her statement made me shutter. I always wanted larger breasts, but people treated Miyuki like an animal sometimes. I could only imagine what the guys talked about.
"They're here for that big cancer show thing," I continued, "They're going to try to be in it." Ko laughed t my comment. She knew as well as I did that getting in was like a million in one chance. The guys were good on their own, but with me and a lineup of equally good bands, I wasn't sure if they could make it. It still felt nice to help…
"Sounds like your housing a pack of idiots," Ko insulted, "What are these guys even life? Are they those punky kids, who pride themselves on anarchy and all that other stuff?" Um…not exactly. How do I say this without bastardizing any of them? Honestly, John was the only one I considered to be a good guy. Dean and Nero fell to the bottom of my list of most pleasant people to be around.
Yutaka piped right in. "They are very nice. Minami is going to be helping them." Ko's face pissed me off. Like Nero the day before, a look of disbelief stuck on her like stick notes. I swear, she utters one word, and it's on.
"That's amazing," Ko said with chuckle. She shook my hand like I was already a rock star. "What, are these guys so desperate that started taking up local talent?" Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment…?
"They're lead guitarist couldn't come," I explained, not knowing the full story.
"More power to you," Ko slapped my back. A sharp pain ran through my shoulders as her nails accidently dug into me. It took all I had to not yelp in pain. While I contemplated my battle wounds, Ko looked to Hiyroi. "When do I get to meet these guys?"
Hiyroi shrugged. "I haven't met them myself."
"Who said you could meet them?" I raised my voice. It was just enough that the class stared at me with wide eyes. Yea, I got; the quiet girl actually said something louder than a whisper.
"What is there some horrible punishment if I meet these guys in person?"
Yutaka cocked her head. "Yea Minami, why can't Yasaka-san meet them?" It wasn't so much to protect them from her; it was to protect her from them especially Nero. From the way John talked, Nero preyed on any girl he deemed worthy of preying on. Ko-san was…very pretty. It wouldn't take much to get Nero's juices pumping and his hunting gear on.
"Looks like Hiyroi and I are coming over for a visit today," Ko proudly stated. As an afterthought, she looked to her accomplice, "You're free tonight, right?"
Hiyori nodded. "If you move my deadline back a day."
"Nah, you can finish and come with me." Hiyori's head collided with the desk. I assumed her deadline was the next day. As I patted our starving artist's head, Ko took her leave. I didn't even get a chance to choice my objection. It was the principle of the things. She'd never been to my house before, never once bothered to talk with me unless Hiyori was around, and rarely paid any mind to stuff outside the Animation Research Counsel, gambling, and student council.
In a flash of light like in super hero comics, I blocked her only way out. "Why are so adamant on meeting them? You're not even that great of friends with Patty." Sure, she was on better terms with her than she was me.
"Iwasaki-san," Ko began, "American guys love Asian girls, American guys are cute, and American guys have lots of money. Think of the profit to be made with just a quick game of poker or two. I'll have them sweeping the floors faster than you can say Casino Royal." She pretended to hold a gun to my head, making a playful bang sound. Lucky for me, fake bullets won't do me in.
I had to make something up. "Yasaka-san, these guys are level headed. They won't buy into your gambling escapades."
"Minami-chan, are you crazy." Lovely, the devil showed up to ruin my plans. With a height similar to Ko, Patty stood in the doorway, watching our little bout like it was one of her animes. She continued, "I was just talking with them, John called me. He says Nero is dying to do something dangerous, so what could be more dangerous than a game of poker with Ko-chan." Our gambling buddy took a bow. It was true. Anyone who took Ko on at gambling would either end up a millionaire (which was very difficult) or go home in a barrel.
"Come on Minami-chan," Ko threw her arm around me, "I bet when those guys run out of money I can get them to do anything. Landry, cook, clean, or maybe there's one you're interested in." I pushed her off. Her very words even suggesting I liked one of them disgusted me.
Patty shook her head. "Ko, you don't know Iwasaki very well. She already had a lover." She gave a point to Yutaka, who wasn't paying much attention to us but busily tried reviving Hiyori.
"Is that true Minami-chan?" I wouldn't deny it. Yutaka was…special to me.
"I don't believe we're on a first name basis," I scolded. Ko threw her hands up and apologized repeatedly.
Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Despite my attempts to talk her out of it, Ko, dragging Tamura-chan along, headed over to my house for the first and probably last time. Unfortunately, Patty couldn't make it; she had work right after school. All my other attempts to garner friends busted as well. Yutaka got sick, both Hiiragi sisters had no interests in going back a second day, and Konata left before I could talk with her. Though I loved Tamura-chan as a friend, something about having Ko along made her seem useless. It was a one woman battle, and I was already exhausted from dealing with the guys.
"I didn't know you were so rich," Ko said as she stepped through my front door. She didn't even take her shoes off before saying. "Look at the big white dog." Cherry spread herself out along the center of the hall. Dead to the world, she slept peacefully until Ko jumped next to her and began snuggling in her white fur.
Hiyori sighed. "Why does that dog like everyone but me?"
"She just needs to get to know you," I replied. Glaring, Hiyori pointed to Ko, who seemed to be getting along with Cherry just fine despite never have been to my house before. Maybe Hiyori was the type that made dogs angry? I don't know; I'm not an expert on the species. She should ask Miyuki.
"Your dog is so cute," Ko roughly patted Cherry's belly.
"I thought you wanted to meet the band…" I muttered.
She jumped to her feet. "That's right. Where are these guys?" I lead my guests upstairs to where the guys' rooms were. I could tell their personalities apart just from looking at the door. John's door was wide open; he sat in a plush chair, reading a rather thick book. Seeing us from the corner of his eye, He waved and returned to reading. Nero's door was shut though hearing us come up the stairs cause some rustling in his room. In seconds, the door flew open and their stood Nero in all his bedtime glory. His hair reminded me of a mad scientist, and the only thing cover his body was a pair of boxers.
"Sup," he said with a yawn. We were speechless with the exception of Ko who started laughing with comedic delight. Nero glanced down at his pants, realizing he was standing up rather firm. "Sorry, I just woke up and haven't masturbated in like a week, so this sort of thing can happen." Someone please shoot me now.
Like nothing happened, Ko held out her hand. "Hey there, I'm Ko Yasaka, Minami's friend." We weren't really friends…
"Nero Seross," he mumbled groggily, "All time rocker and all time bad ass." Seeming only polite, Hiyori shook Nero's hand as well.
"It's Hiyori Tamura," she said, trying to keep her eyes off Nero's pants.
"So'd you guys have like a half day or something?" he asked.
Ko shook her head. "It's past three in the afternoon."
"Fuck, it's the late." I tried pushing my friends away from Nero. He'd only leave a bad taste in their mouth. I wanted them to meet John above anyone else. He was the nicest; well, Randy was very nice as well. Dean seemed nice too, but his slow mentality took a bit of time to get used to. I herded my friends towards the other room; Nero acted as my sheep dog, following me around in an attempt to help. The only problem was he seemed more interested in staring at my friends than actually helping. Did this surprise me? No…
Not needing to be asked, John jumped from the bed to greet my friends like any normal person would. Fortunately, he had pants on. "Hi there," He started, "I'm John Martin, Patty's cousin. Uhhh…you know her right." His questions was directed to Ko.
"You mean Martin-san," she said, "Yea, her and Hiyori are closer than two peas in a pod."
"Right, I saw her with Hiyori when we had our quest to the school," he mentioned, "You're the one who draws?"
Hiyori answered, "We both draw." She motioned to Ko. "She's better than me" Ko laughed.
"I'm not a published doujinshi mangaka," she said. John's eyes lit up when he learned of Hiyori's talent. He quickly began asking what she did much to Hiyori's embarrassment. He better watch out or she'll draw perverted things with him too…
While this happened, Nero was busy looking around the room, paying little attention to any of the anime words. Finally, he piped, "Um…third party here thinks anime can suck dick. What did those words mean?"
"Doujinshi is like a fan made manga," Hiyori explained, "Lots of people do them."
"Mangaka is just a manga artist," Ko finished, "So you're not into anime?" She leaned in with a sly grin. Nero returned with an equally sly grin. If I didn't know better, a fight was about to break out in this room. Not a good thing when considering they could break something.
I stepped between them. "Guys, let's not get too crazy here."
"Minami," Nero said, "This is a moment when you shouldn't mess with us. Ko has issued a challenge, and I will accept and defeat her."
Hiyori looked to John. "What challenge did she issue?"
"God if I know…" John muttered. In a flash, Nero and Ko threw their hands in the center. Their fists were gripped tight, looking ready to decimate each other.
"If I win this," Ko said, "You have to pay me five hundred yen."
Nero laughed at her amount. "Five hundred, I'll fucking bet you two thousand. You could then suck on that bitch." John's mouth dropped. I couldn't blame him considering twenty five bucks was thrown onto the table all over a rock, paper, scissors game. Hiyori busily scratched down this scene in her book. See, she was going to use this in one of her mangas.
Ko's hand shot to the sky. "Ready! One! Two! Three! Shoot!" Their hands went in. Nero's hand laid flat, looking ready to karate chop Ko. However, the president of the animation research society gave a sideways piece sign. She flashed a grin as scissors cut paper.
"That's two thousand, five hundred yen," she said.
"Fuck you," Nero yelled, "It's best two out of three."
Ko laughed. "We didn't agree to that."
"It's a rock paper scissors law, Nero said, "Right Minami."
"Don't get me involved in this…" I took a step back. I tried to break this up once; I wasn't going to do it again. Besides, taking sides could prove detrimental to my existence. Reluctantly, Nero stuffed his hand into his pocket, pulling out a torn up leather wallet. He pulled out two American bills, a twenty and a five. He forced it into Ko's hands.
"What am I going to do with this?" she asked.
Nero replied, "Go get it exchanged for yen. I haven't cashed in all my money yet." Ko pocketed her winnings. Though not what she wanted, it was money and could be used for something. She shot me a grin; her plan to milk these guys started, and it wasn't going to end there. Her scheme targeted John next. She slunk over to him, readying whatever form of gambling she could. Lucky for us, the doorbell rang.
Vvvvvvvvvvvv
John Martin-
Patty showed up after she heard Hiyori and Ko were over. However, she didn't come to see me, her awesome cousin, or his friend Nero, who was slightly less awesome (don't tell him I said that). Patty ran off with her artist friend to do something that didn't involve us. Girls tended not to explain what these things are. Nero, realizing he was still in his underwear, finally decided to go put pants on. Thankfully, we wouldn't have to see his hairy legs anymore. Minami got a call from her mother in the other room. This left me and Ko sitting in the living room without so much as a word.
However, I couldn't keep my eyes to myself. Her tan skin and blonde hair were striking to say the least. I remembered all the girls in my school who enjoyed browning themselves darker than chocolate and coloring their hair a bright blonde. Ko was dark, but it wasn't obnoxious. Her blonde hair was colored as well, but again, I wouldn't call her out on it. She pleasantly looked nice, easy to talk to, and fun. Why couldn't I seem to say something was the bigger question?
Finally, she looked over at me. "John right?"
"Yea, that's my name," I replied. Then, we went back into silence. I didn't have this problem with any of Patty's other friend. Then again, Patty was there to get me talking.
"Nero seems interesting," Ko went on.
"He can be the life of the party."
"How are the other guys?"
"Pretty cool." With a sigh, Ko moved from her seat on the other side of the room. She plopped down right next to me so her skirt touched my leg. The armrest blocked any attempt to escape as she forcefully entered my personal space.
"There now will you talk with me," she said, "Geez, you've been so quiet."
I bowed my head. "I'm sorry. Usually Nero keeps the conversation going…"
"Don't apologize," she ordered, "Just change. Here, you can talk now. Ask me anything; I don't care what it is?" Don't say what color are your panties; don't say what color are your panties. Telling a guy to ask anything was a really bad idea. My mind instantly fell into the gutter; my face must been burning with. My mind got stuck on the escape line "I need to pee" and the compliment "That uniform looks really nice on you", neither of which are questions and probably would make me look like a perverted ass.
I shot. "I need to pee on you." My tongue twisted together. "I mean, how are you doing?" I don't know if I just saved myself or dug a deeper hole.
Ko's face was like glass. Only the edges of her mouth perked up. "Real smooth…"
"Thank you." It was the only thing I could come up with. Surprisingly, it worked. Ko fell to the ground laughing. I turned even brighter as I feared anyone coming to see what was so funny. I didn't want to have to explain my smoothness.
"You're a crazy guy," Ko said, lifting her head up. She held her hand out. "I don't think we've been formally introduced cause of my bet with Nero. I'm Ko Yasaka." I shook her head cautiously. She could pull some crazy ninja move on me.
"John Martin."
By this time, Nero came running down the stairs. He was adorned in his typical blue jeans and button up shirt that was darker than the night. He ran his hands through his hair and laughed. "Back guys."
"It took you that long to put pants on?" Ko posed.
"Sorry but I had to find one that could hold my massive junk," Nero replied. Considering what I just said to Ko, that last thing I wanted to think about was anyone's junk. While Nero made some disgusting vulgar thrusts, Minami came walking in from the kitchen.
"Sorry, mom needed me to do some-" she froze when she saw Nero doing his thing. "Did I miss something?"
I replied, "Nothing that isn't normal."
"This is normal?" Ko inquired.
"Pretty much this."
Patty and Hiyori joined us a couple of seconds later. My cousin was the first to comment. "I see you guys are having a good time." Nero shot them a grin as he plopped down next to Ko, sandwiching her in between this bread of testosterone. I felt really bad for her. Judging from Minami's reaction to everything, she probably wasn't used to this many people at her house at one time. Ko and Patty treated it like a party while Hiyori seemed indifferent. As long as she was around someone, she seemed content.
And then we had Nero, who enjoyed his harem. "So, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. There's this gal, long orange hair, what's she like." The girls gave each other glance. No one knew what he was talking about.
Patty offered the only bit of information. "I think I heard Konata talking about her one time. Um…they're Hiiragi's friends. You should prolly talk to her."
"Shit, she hates me," Nero muttered.
"Isn't it your fault," I reminded.
Minami nodded. "We weren't very nice." Ko leaned back against the couch. She let out a few chuckles before patting Nero on the head like a dog.
"Who could hate this guy?" I hated to say it, but a lot of people hated Nero. When you're that much of a dick, you gain a lot of enemies; these enemies will try to destroy you. No, these enemies will rape you then destroy you. Nero was lucky enough to be strong willed, so he never experience said rape. I didn't blame Kagami for disliking him. A lot of people didn't like him. Nero's reply to that, "They can suck my cock."
"Bitches and fucktards," Nero replied to Ko, "Someone should slap them across the fucking face."
"Emotional…" Hiyori muttered. That was a very tame Nero. No one wanted to see him when his panties were in a bunch.
Deciding we went a tad too off topic, I returned to the matter at hand. "Why do you want to know about this girl?"
"Because," Nero started, "Nero has selected his target, and Nero will capture it." With those words, I had a strong urge to call Kagami (though I lacked a phone number) and tell her to tell her friend to get the hell out of the country or this planet for that matter. Once Nero acquired a target, he was ready to do whatever it would take.
Ko instantly became intrigued. "So you admire someone? I can do some reconnaissance work for you. Right Hiyori?"
"No, no," I shouted, "No reconnaissance. No introducing anyone to Jim. We had a deal, a strong handshake that said Jim would not be placed onto the playing field."
"Jim?" Hiyori asked Minami.
She sighed. "Just let the talk. It's better if you don't know."
"I didn't say I would introduce her to Jim." Nero jumped from his seat. His eyes burned with the same passion that they had when Minami took her guitar out. Now, I'd seen Nero talk about girls in less than satisfactory ways, but he never exhibited this much passion women related. "Listen John, when you love a woman, you see your world inside her eyes."
"Wow, that's romantic," Patty commented.
Oh hell no! He looked straight at my cousin. "He stole in from a song." I then turned my attention back to Nero. "Don't fucking copy Steve Perry!"
"I can copy a lyrical master if I want to," Nero shot back. Nero threw his fists into the air. I was never the strongest guy, but I would fight if it meant I could protect any of these girls from Nero and his immoral desires. However, our little bout became enough for Minami, who gripped us both by our ears. Her finger squeezed as tight as possible.
"That's enough out of you…" she said with as much calmness as always. Like a mother, she sent us away to spate corner.
Vvvvvvvvvv
Patty and Hiyori took off shortly after that. They said something about homework, and Minami went pale as she sprinted up the stairs, slamming her door full force. I always finished my work after I got home. It was nice not having to worry about the work. As a gloated at my accomplishments, Ko gathered up her bag. With everyone gone, she really had no reason to stick around.
However, Nero stopped her from setting an inch outside the door. "I need to ask you something."
"I am single, but I don't think it'll work," Ko joked. Nero let out a good laugh.
"No, that's not even close," he said, "I already got my target set. Anyways, what do you know about merchandising?" Ah, selling our name might add to our chance of getting into the battle of the bands. When Nero had an idea that didn't involve sex or sex, he really could be a valuable asset to the group.
"I know very little…" Ko replied, "However, T-shirts and stuff can't be too tough."
I added, "It should be easy to find some type of shirt making company. Plus, our band's name is a little over the top, so I doubt anyone will have it." Nero shot me a glance that said "What you talking about." A nervous feeling shot through my spine; I asked, "We are talking about the band?"
"Are you fucking retarded?" Nero said, "Who would buy our band's shit?" Ok fine, he had a point. We were more unknown in Japan than we were stateside, and only our small town even knew of our existence. Life started to look bleak.
Ko cocked her head. "You lost me too. I was expecting band stuff too."
"You people don't see this opportunity." Nero acted like this was completely obvious. Sorry but my thought patterns usually contain logic in them. "We're going to sell Konata and Kagami stuff."
"Excuse me?" That was the only thing that left my mouth.
He continued, "You saw all those guys. We could sell perverted shirts and mugs all revolving around their lesbian thing. Remember John, if you show them picture of naked women, dudes will come." There was a long pause as we stared each other done. I remembered Mr. Seross using the term a few times; I got it the first time. Nero, on the other hand, thought slightly more innocently. Odd, isn't it?
"Um…" Ko started in.
"Oh shit," Nero cut her off, "I just got that. Damn my dad is a sneaky bastard." That was really obvious, so I had no sympathy what so ever. Followed with the typical face palm, I couldn't come up with the words to describe his failure. Ko busted her gut as she watched Nero's face turn crooked. He did look rather adorable like that.
"Trust me," I said, "You won't be getting any picture of them naked."
Nero shook his head. "We don't need to. Guys love the whole girls kissing thing. We ask for their numbers even though they're lesbians." Ko and I couldn't help but exchange glances. Out of all the people here, she was probably the only one who could take this and not be disgusted.
"The worst part about this," I said, "is he'd right. You probably could make a killing."
"Will you help?" Nero instantly asked Ko once he wrapped me into his stupid little plan. I had a strong urge to kill myself right there and pray I got to heaven or someplace Nero will never exist in. Maybe Dimension X would be a good substitute. I heard the weather is great this time of year.
Ko shrugged her shoulders. The whole "girls kissing" thing was probably a little much for her. However, from her gambling I saw earlier, she liked to make a quick buck. "I guess…" she muttered.
"I'll do it on one condition. We need band related stuff too." I threw in there. We needed to make this productive in some way.
"That's a great idea!" Nero yelled, "We can sell a lesbo shirt and give them a band shirt for free. People will then be wearing our shit. Or, we could make them buy both to get the lesbo shirt. That's a better idea." He slammed his fist against the wall. The house shook for a second. He screamed in the deepest voice possible, "Let's do this!"
Oh, how I wanted to die…
Vvvvvvvvvvvvv
So, you guys know that whole less than two week thing. I lied and refuse to change to the top. It will always remind me of my failure.
So I began to notice something interesting. For some reason, chapter 1 and 5 get the most attention out of everyone. When I first published it, I assumed it was because people read 1 and then jumped to 5 cause people are lazy. However, I published chapter 6 and 5 continued to outdo all the other chapters with the exception of 1. Who is that? If chapter 5 so funny that people can't take their eyes off it or is it so bad that people like to read it just to mock it?