Chapter three:

Hell was brewing in Art's mouth, waiting to burn it's wrath on her. Even as the elevator had gone to the floor he'd select, he dragged Beth around like she was a detainee. Technically, she was his detainee. This was his way of showing authority, his seniority over her, that she was under him in the chain, even it they both were detectives.

"Art, let me explain."

"No. Shut the hell up."

The gun range? It had been a while since Beth was down here last, but why was he dragging her down here? Surely she'd find out soon enough, they were running out of room to walk to.

"Okay, enough." Beth finally yanked her arm from his grasp, rubbing the feeling back from the numbness, stopping dead in their tracks.

"What the hell did I do this time?"

"Oh?" Art could have chuckled, she was sure of it, but her anger was rising to his level. "What was that stunt you pulled? Bailing for the fifth time this month? Do you know how much I've had to cover or your ass?"

"I was out on a lead."

"Bullshit, Beth."

"I was!"

"No. You weren't. I don't know what the hell you were doing, and I don't want to know. All I know is -I- just covered for my partner Again. I know about the pills."

"Yeah?" He was bluffing, or at least she thought he was. No way in hell would he know she was back on god knows what medication, especially when she'd spent all day avoiding everyone.

"Oh, we're going to deal with your smart ass attitude now?"

"Apparently so."

God, he wanted to slap Beth across the face, but also he wanted to laugh about it. About the spat they were having.

"You don't even need them, Beth."

"I'm not even on anything! Christ. This isn't briefing, this is venting."

"Good god, you're full of shit excuses today, Beth." Beth knew that was the end of it, that he had finally cracked. There was something in his tone that almost came across giddy.

"You said what you wanted, so go."

"No, you shit, I'm not fucking done with you. You work your problems out on your own time, but right now we have a case we have to go to. So get your shit together in the car."

All of those pills she took, for nothing. She still felt the pain, the urge to cry every second. She was so weak, edging herself towards the ruin she knew was the end. In just the span of a day she had lapsed months of work away. She was sick of the desire to throw everything away, feeling expired and used.

"Why can't you sit still, shit head?" Art broke her concentration on nothing. It wasn't nothing, actually. She was conjuring up the easiest way to do it. Pills didn't work anymore, she was alone. Her gun would've been the easiest way to do it, but reflex stopped her. Maybe the worst was yet to come. Her life was less than a life to her, it was hell and torture.

"B-E-T-H."

"Was wondering when you'd use my name."

"Asshole. Keep your legs still, that," he pointed to her shaking legs, "is annoying as hell."

Beth tried to do as he asked, it was hard though, she was in shock, needing more medicine to pull her through the day, when actually she needed less- the overdose was flowing rapidly. She hadn't had the self control to stop taking them once she'd started. She needed an excuse for the withdraw.

"Sorry. I'm just cold cause my clothes are wet."

After that he'd basically benched her in the car all day. Thankfully when her pink phone messaged her, Art was nowhere near. The meeting with Katja had been cancelled, she was too sick. When Beth asked, no response. Blame the weather, but she knew that was bullshit.

The day slowed in her mind, taking hours, but everything was a blur. Finally, an effect from all of the medicine. She was finally forgetting what it was like to feel. Somehow it gave her serenity through the anxiety it also brought on.

"Art, I'm heading home." Beth announced. Actually, she wasn't, but told him that. She was losing him, getting away from the invisible leash, and trying her best to avoid the oncoming Raj at all costs.

"Hey." Raj shattered her chain of thought.

"Shit. Hey, Raj. What are you doing here?"

"It's the end of the day? I still haven't updated your software."

"Right, yeah. Thanks for holding off.

Damn it.

"I was wondering, a few of us are heading out after our shifts, did you want to come with us?"

You've got to be kidding me, Beth blinked, a blank stare right at the man.

"Uhh."

"Throw back a few? It'll be nice."

"Rain check." Hanging out with Raj and other coworkers wasn't at the top of her list of things to do tonight, but she didn't really have anything else planned, going home to Paul didn't perk her brooding mood either.

Beth had walked away, nearing the elevator when Beth called out for him, already internally regretting her decision. Turning back, Raj met her halfway from her desk.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I uhh.. Well, what time tonight?"

"9 maybe? We're meeting up at the Neolution club, it's a bit.. Different, but should be pretty sick."

"Alright. I'll see you there then."

A night out couldn't be that bad, lately she had become a recluse, just drinking alone with Paul or by herself. The group of people she met up with weren't exactly her friends, but she knew their faces well enough. Raj bought Beth her first two drinks, and that wasn't barely enough to start accepting the strange environment. Body modifications, probably something she wouldn't ever get used to seeing. The club was almost like a cult, with all of the strange things going on around them, but the loud music and alcohol was worth it. It was time to relax, and stop profiling the fucking freaks.

Drink after drink Beth allowed herself to get wasted, so far that she wouldn't want to remember who she was. Hell, if she wasn't a cop she would've already taken ecstasy or something else to have the day slip from her. Some part of Beth damned herself to not doing that, although she was essentially a hypocrite because just earlier in the day she was shooting up on prescriptions.

Raj had dragged her into the dance floor somehow, the alcohol not helping her in rejecting him. Between the loud music and the numerous amount of people dancing to it, she found herself dancing up against him. Now, Beth wasn't keen on flirting with Raj, especially since he could never keep his dick in his pants, but that didn't keep her from letting the music guide her closer. Personal proximities didn't exist here, and their hands found ways to each others body, moving with the beat.

"Beth, it was nice you came. We hardly see each other."

"I bet." As her eyes rolled, Raj leaned in closer, his mouth against the hair by her ear.

"It's nice to dance with a beautiful woman, especially you."

"I bet." She repeated herself, voice laced with sarcasm but she was certain that Raj was too drunk to catch that. He didn't, instead his hands found their way to Beth's hips, their bodies moving against one another's to the beat of the music. Although the idea of grinding against Raj's dick wasn't ideal, Christ did it have good effects on Beth. It had been a while since she was in a predicament like this, as intimate as their bodies were entwined. Alcohol, hormones, the fact she was pissed off at Paul, anything could've been an excuse as to why she enjoyed it, craved to feel another body that way. Paul never did anything like this. Beth accidentally moaned as he pushed his waist intrusively into hers. Her heart pounded faster, breathing stopping. Raj caressed her back a his hips moved in a circular motion, making Beth feel his want for her. Fuck. That's all she felt, her lustful hormonal impulses surged; her body lunged to be touched by his, to respond foolishly. Intimate attention was what she wanted, and hell, Raj was willing to give it like he'd been wanting to his entire life. A one nightstand couldn't be too bad, eh?

Bringing his hands around her sides, Beth coyly turned around and pressed her body up against his. Hair across her shoulder, she leaned back so his ear was directly by her mouth as she moaned. Beth wasn't entirely enjoying it, forcing herself to "like" what she was going through, telling herself that if she let go and relaxed that this would be fun. Besides, Paul was probably cheating on her anyway, why not act the same way.

Raj blinked rapidly, tightness within his jeans begged to touch Beth, to rub against her. Her actions were polar opposite as to what she was normally like, and that turned Raj on. Also, her forcing him to palm her breasts helped.

"You want to get out of here?" He choked out, crotch grinding circularly on her ass, creating an erection that was dying for attention.

"Yeah. Alright." Grinning, Raj grabbed her by the wrist to take her out and hailed a cab.

They hadn't even kissed, yet here they sat in the back of a taxi headed to Raj's house to have sex. People did this. Normal people did this. So many thoughts of doubt flashed through Beth's head, doubts about what she was about to do, how Paul would react, but she was done with him. To hell with Paul. If Beth wanted to live for once in her life, it would happen.

More blanking out as to what was actually happening, until when they had gotten into Raj's apartment, he was groping and fondling her body against the door. Her head was spinning and pounding, blood racing under his intrusive touch. With her head thrown back Raj was sucking on her neck, rubbing his crotch desperately along her thigh as if he had never humped someone before. His hand worked on taking his belt off, and pushing his pants low enough to get his throbbing erection out. Gripping her shoulders, he tried to give Beth the memo to get on her knees. After a moment, she did drop down. Eagerly, Raj tried moving her hair from her face. His dick in hand held in front of her, moving towards her mouth. Before Beth could react he had stuffed his cock into her mouth and let out a moan.

"Suck harder, Beth."

Maybe she wasn't drunk enough to go through, but something inside was telling her no. Much like whenever Beth had given Paul a blowjob, she was entirely hating this. It felt wrong though, and not a sexually pleasurable wrong. Beth had grabbed onto his hips, pushing back tightly as she spoke, gasping for breath.

"Raj, no. I-I can't do this."

"What?" He stared in bewilderment. "What are you talking about Beth? You don't have to give me a blowjob if you don't want to. We can stick with just sex, I've got condoms if that's an issue."

Shaking her head, Beth's fingers raked through her hair, pushing it from her face.

"Look, I can't have sex with you. Paul and I were fighting, I was pissed and wanted to spite him."

"I thought you guys were breaking up anyway? What's the big deal?"

"I love him. I can't fuck him over even if I want to. I have damn morals."

"Whatever Beth." Raj groaned, equally pissed at Beth as she was at Paul. He quickly fumbled with the lock on his door, shoving Beth off of it.

"Yeah whatever, go have sex with yourself."

"Stupid bitch, wasting my time."

Beth walked away. As soon as she was a "safe distance" away from his apartment she ducked besides the nearest building, and began crying slumped at the wall. Why was she always such a mess. Feeling like shit, Beth was letting the worst get the best of her. Right there in the dark of the night, in the middle of nowhere, she was having a crisis. Hands still shaking, she didn't have any pills left to calm her. She had nothing to help her. Pulling her phone out, Beth was going to grovel her way back to Paul. With her head too dizzy to function, she dialed blindly, praying he would pick up. When the phone stopped ringing and she heard a voice at the other end, Beth closed her eyes, hoping the tears would stop.

"Paul?–"