Packing the last of what he'd need in his duffle, Haruichi dropped it to the ground and kicked it under his bed so it'd be out of the way. He was planning on leaving that night for home, but first wanted to head into the city to buy a new bat and one of the new games for his DS.
Grabbing his old bat, figuring he could check if a used sports store would buy it for even a little since it wasn't broken, just worn, he stuffed his wallet into his pocket and pulled on his heavy coat, jamming his feet into his boots and quickly lacing them up.
It had snowed overnight a bit, but the main problem was the ice that had come with it. Haruichi didn't want to slip and get hurt, and his regular sneakers didn't have very good traction. Trudging out into the patchy white cold, he kept his head lowered as he walked. Most people had already left, but that was the main reason he'd waited this long to leave. He didn't want to see his teammates happily leaving to visit their families.
He forewent a cab, even though it would be faster, both to save his money and because the walk would hopefully help clear his head. He'd avoided talking any more than necessary to any of his teammates, but nothing truly seemed different than before. When he thought about it, his teammates had never really talked to him unless it had to do with baseball. Even then it was mostly what he could do better.
It was all so obvious to him now. How he'd missed it before, he wasn't sure. Eijun was closer to Furuya, Miyuki, and Kuramochi – even some of the previous third years – than he was to him, and never seemed to hang out with him except for on the field. Furuya was almost always asleep or practicing, and even though they were in the same class they didn't interact much.
Kuramochi was close to his older brother, and probably saw him as nothing more than a weaker copy for the older Kominato who he looked up to and respected. He probably hated being paired with him. And the others never really talked to him. Honestly, Haruichi should have seen this before. How could he have been so blind?
His older brother was even obvious about not wanting him around. He'd told him not to follow, yet the younger teen did anyway. And even when he'd arrived, Ryousuke hadn't talked to him unless it was to tease him or tell him how bad he was.
Making his way onto the train, Haruichi clenched his fists around the handle of his bat, anger swirling deep in his gut. He'd thought he'd finally made some real friends, and found a place he could happily play baseball, but apparently he was wrong.
Nobody wanted him there. Even the coach had told him he was too weak, and he hadn't beat around the bush. He'd said it straight to his face. In a small way, Haruichi was glad. It was better than pretending everything was alright while going behind his back. He could have handled it if they'd all just told him from the beginning, but it hurt worse knowing they had only pretended to be his friend.
Exiting the train, Haruichi glared at the festive decorations everywhere. He didn't feel very festive, and all the happy people and couples out did nothing to improve his mood. Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sight, and not wanting to lash out in anger at anyone who didn't deserve it, Haruichi almost threw himself into an alley, deciding to take the back way to avoid the cheerful air.
He wasn't too familiar with the city, having only gone a few times for the necessities or a new game. In his current state of mind, he felt getting lost would be better than having to suffocate in the joyful mood throughout the city. The last thing he wanted was to hurt someone on accident. And with how angry and bitter he was feeling, the second year didn't doubt he would.
Stomping down the shadowed alley, he went in the general direction he assumed the used sports store he'd been to was. It was more difficult as there weren't any signs to let him know if he was in the right spot, but at the moment he didn't care. He wasn't needed anywhere, and nobody was expecting him or cared where he was, so he had all the time in the world.
That thought caused a pang to shoot through his gut, turning part of his anger into sadness again. He could die out there, and nobody would know or care that he was gone. His brother wouldn't care enough to check up on him, and his teammates would be happy he was gone. His parents probably wouldn't even realize he was missing until graduation came around and he didn't show. That made him wonder – did they even care?
They'd done all they could to keep Ryousuke from going to Seidou, but when he mentioned it, they were fine with him leaving. It was as though they cared more that his older brother would be home than him. He was sure that wasn't true, but at the same time with everything else he'd thought to be true turning out false, he wasn't positive.
Haruichi glared at the group of teens who roughly pushed past him, not in the mood to deal with any bullshit. He was already feeling horrible – they didn't need to make it worse.
"Watch where you're going kid," The one who practically shoved him aside growled.
"Says the idiot who almost ran into me." He hadn't expected them to hear him, and was surprised when he was spun around and slammed into the alley wall.
"What was that?"
Haruichi's nose scrunched up from the smell on the other teen's breath. Normally, he would apologize and run off, but he'd been feeling upset all day and was tired of just staying quiet. It hadn't worked for him before, why would it work now. "I said, you're the one who almost ran into me. Is it that hard to understand?"
He didn't see the fist coming, and pain blossomed in the back of his skull as it slammed into the brick. "Wanna say that again?"
"Wouldn't matter if you didn't understand it the first two times I said it." The black spots in his vision as his head slammed against the wall a second time told him he should shut up, but his mouth kept moving.
"You have a death wish kid?"
"Maybe I do, but there's no way I'm going to die at the hands of an idiot like you."
He gasped for breath as he was kneed in the gut, having to painfully swallow his breakfast back down. He slumped onto his hands and knees, attempting to fill his lungs with air as the others scoffed and walked off.
Feeling his anger coming back again and stronger than before – because he was not weak and useless damn it – he gripped his bat until his knuckles were white and staggered to his feet. Bringing his other hand to the bat, he wobbled towards the slow moving group and raised the bat high, bringing it down as hard as possible against the head of the teen who'd hit him.
There was a crack as his bat finally split in half, and a lot of curses from the teen he'd hit. Glaring from the one eye that wasn't puffing up, he swung his splintered bat towards the taller teen who charged at him, hitting him but not getting as much power as normal from the now short bat.
The splintered part did cut the teen's coat and cause him to back off, warily watching him while his other friends made sure the first teen he'd hit was alright. Not thinking straight because of a mixture of the pain and the anger, Haruichi lunged towards the taller one who'd charged him, jabbing the splintered end of his bat towards him.
The teen moved out of the way and held up his hands. "Look kid, if you keep swinging around something like that, someone could die." Haruichi wasn't listening and jabbed at the teen again who kept backing up. He turned towards his friends as he left, keeping Haruichi in sight so he wouldn't be caught off guard. "Let's get out of here – this kid is insane."
Watching them leave, Haruichi grit his teeth and slammed what remained of his bat into the ground with a small yell. Throwing it towards the wall in anger, he stalked off again, his chest heaving and eye throbbing.
Everything was against him today. He had no friends, his family didn't care about him, and even people he didn't know wanted to hurt him. He was tired of it. He was sick of being treated like he was weak and useless or crazy for doing something he liked. Falling to his knees, he wrapped his arms around his trembling form, slumping against the wall.
Hot tears pricked his eyes, and Haruichi didn't have any energy left to keep them back. Letting them roll down his face, he sobbed as the anger and hurt washed over him. He hated this. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. He just wanted to go back to pretending everything was alright. He just wanted the hurt to go away. Maybe…maybe a small part of him wanted to die.
I hope you're all enjoying this story! I'm probably having too much fun writing this. I don't know why. I don't even remember where the idea came from. anyway, let me know what you thought!