TEENAGE DREAM
Chapter 7
Coffee, pictures and drinks
The way to school was very entertaining. Karen seemed to be a really funny person, she wouldn't stop making you laugh, and Darren and Karen together were like the funniest people in world, they should be comedians. At first, of course, the situation was kind of uncomfortable because neither you nor Karen knew each other, but then she started joking and it was nice. It seemed that all of Darren's friends were this nice to you and you couldn't get why, you couldn't get why people in general were nice to you sometimes. Maybe as you thought once, there was still good people in world. When you arrived at school, you were really nervous because you honestly didn't know what could happen. Of course, when you arrived everybody looked at you in a weird way not only because you were walking with Darren, Jen and Karen, but also because you were wearing those stupid clothes. When you were walking, a man's voice you recognized yelled behind you.
"How interesting! Pimple face thinks she's French! Hey, let me tell you something, you're in the wrong place! Have you forgotten what the way to go to Pimple's world is? You belong to that place! Get your fat ass away from here; I don't wanna screw my eyes by looking at your pimples." Brian yelled arrogantly.
"As for me, I'd rather to live in that Pimple's world than living in the world of assholes who think are cool but cannot even match those dirt-cheap clothes you're wearing and, therefore, they look absurdly and excessively grotesque. Man, you really need to be reborn three times to see if you can even wear a decent shirt. What's the problem with you?" Darren answered defiantly, looking at Brian.
"You Criss, stay the fuck out of this. Don't forget that I'm still waiting for the precise moment that I'm gonna kick your ass to bring you down and to listen to you begging me to stop like a momma's boy." Brian threatened Darren.
"Bring it on, then. Let's see who's gonna be the one begging to stop like a momma's boy; you dickhead." Darren challenged Brian, walking closer to him and Jen placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Oh right. I forgot that you're a lady who needs ladies help to win a fight. Tell me, Criss...How it felt to be saved by a nerd and fat ass girl? I bet you gave her a good damn fuck to reward that whore. How was it, Criss? Does she also have pimples on her bearded clam? Does she have a big cum dumpster, Criss?" Brian said maliciously and viciously, smiling vilely; now facing Darren face to face, they were only six inches away.
"You suck, you fuckin' junkie. Why don't you take this and stick it in your ass?" Darren said madly, gesturing a fuck you sign with his hand.
"I'll let you do it to yourself, you friggin faggot." Brian said getting even closer to Darren.
"That's all you got? Wow, how sad. Say, wanna blow me?" Darren faced Brian, stepping closer. Damn, they were so close.
"Darren, let's go. We shouldn't waste our precious time with that douchebag." You said looking at Brian defiantly, taking Darren by his arm.
"Look, the big ass wants to hook up with the faggot." Brian laughed viciously.
"Well, at least I have someone to hook up with, unlike you, who can get a blowjob only if you pay for it. How sad." You said raising an eyebrow and looking at him provocatively. Both Jen and Darren were looking at you puzzled and stunned, while Brian was looking at you furiously.
"The fact I wouldn't hump you doesn't mean that I can't hump any girl I want. I just don't get laid with girls with a fucking big ass." Brian said wickedly and you just laughed bitterly, what disconcerted him.
"Funny. You know what? I maintain my big ass so more people can kiss it, you piece of shit." You said still laughing bitterly and you finally turned around, turning your back to him.
When you turned around you sensed how Brian was about to jump on you to strike you, but you were faster. You turned around again and without thinking twice, you punched Brian's face really hard, so hard that your fist was aching now. You made him bleed, his nose was bleeding now and he was looking at you in a rage. He pounced on you, but Darren stepped between you both and he pushed Brian, making him fall on the floor.
"Fuck off, jackass!" Darren yelled at Brian, who was still on the floor. "Let's go girls."
Darren intertwined an arm with yours and he intertwined his other arm with Jen's arm and you walked away from Brian. Karen, who was observing the whole situation astonished, followed you. All the people who were also observing the situation astonished started walking away from Brian, gossiping shit. So then, the terrible day has begun in a crappy way as it was expected. When you were really away and you were in front of Darren's locker, your phone buzzed. But not only your phone buzzed, Darren and Jen's phones buzzed at the same time.
"Well, well. The game is gettin' more exciting, suckers. That was an enthralling but blockhead movement. Is this the way you want to play? Brilliant, you all are gonna wail when you find out you're completely bludgeoned and defeated. -W-"
You looked at Darren and Jen to find they were also looking at you, the three of you a bit scared and looking around nervously. Karen, meanwhile, was looking at the three of you frowning and curious.
"What's going on?" Karen asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Karen." Darren answered putting his phone on his pocket. "Just that today we won't have drama class." He lied and looked away. "I'm late; I have to go to safety and health class. Sorry guys, see you later."
"Me too. I have to go to math." Jen said grabbing her books from her locker.
"Yes, I have science class now and my teacher is gonna kill me if I'm late. I guess I'll see you on lunch, guys." Karen said and she turned around to leave.
"Guys!" You said before Jen and Darren could leave you alone.
"Not now, Freckles. See you on lunch. Please, take care." Darren whispered and he turned around, but then he returned. "Before leaving, give me your phone number to keep in touch, just in case."
"Yes, sure." You answered and you gave it to him.
"Cool. See you later, Freckles." Darren said smiling softly before he left with Jen.
When you were alone, you looked around to see if there was a suspicious person, but you couldn't find anyone. You needed to keep in mind what you planned with Darren and Jen; W couldn't make you change your mind. You walked alone to your English class, hoping not to encounter any unwanted person. Nothing bad happened and you sat in your class, without paying attention at all. Your mind was just too busy thinking about who W could be. Then it was when your phone buzzed again and, scared, you read the text message.
"You turned out to be a real selfish bitch. Just because I'm nice, I'm going to anticipate what will happen next: Criss and Nedeau will suffer because of your fault. I'm going to defeat them before destroying you, so you won't miss the show. Should it be a horror or thriller show? Maybe both. Get your popcorns, fat ass! -W-"
Oh damn, stupid W. That was a morbid text message and yes, it scared you. But then you read it again and you realized something. W knew Darren and Jen's last names. And this was the first time that W talked in first-person singular instead first-person plural. This was corroborating that your theory was right. W was only one person who was getting help from others. That was a big step. You needed to show Darren and Jen that you weren't so wrong after all. For a reason, even if it was a tough text message, you felt better. And that was when your phone buzzed again, four times.
"You were awesome earlier! You totally kicked that asshole's ass! Huzzah for you!"
"Oh, I forgot. Just in case you didn't notice, I'm the 'friggin faggot' with whom you hook up."
"I was totally joking. I'm Darren, just Darren and this is my number."
"So, how's your class going so far? Here's so fucking boring!"
You looked at his texts and you couldn't help smiling like a fool. He could always make you smile no matter what. How was it even possible? You never texted during a class, but this time you could make an exception.
To Darren: First off: How can you text this fast? Secondly: I needed to kick his ass someday, right? Thirdly: I know it was a joke. Sorry about that, I needed to tell him something to shut his mouth out. Fourthly: Yo, you should be paying attention in class, I'm not going to solve your math problems forever.
From Darren: I'm a genius when it comes to texting, I'm so cool! BEST. ASS. KICK. EVER.! Yeah, don't worry about it, I don't mind. Actually, I think it was hotstuff! And hey, the fourth thing you said was so mean! In any case, you're not paying attention either. ;)
To Darren: I'm not texting you back.
From Darren: Oh, but you did. ;)
You looked at his last text and you giggled softly, trying not to laugh too loud so no one would hear you. You put your phone in your pocket decided not to text him back this time, and to try to pay attention in class. But your phone buzzed again and you couldn't just not to look at it.
"Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs you're not a door. You're gonna catch an STD, you're only wanted cause you're free… Twinkle twinkle little whore, you're cheaper than the dollar store. –W-"
Great, such a way to ruin your mood. You just couldn't have a good time because W was always there to screw it and you were getting tired of it, even if you were still scared. Of course W was saying this because of what you said earlier to Brian, about you and Darren, which was obviously a lie. Resigned and bad tempered now, you put your phone aside and you tried to pay attention in class, what worked until your phone buzzed again.
From Darren: Freckles, are you serious? Why wouldn't you text me back? I'm boooored, man!
To Darren: I'm not a man and I'm not your jester.
From Darren: Whoa! You mad?
To Darren: No.
You didn't mean to treat Darren this rough and tough way, but you just couldn't help it. You wanted to find out who W was once and for all. So right now you weren't in mood to text and less to be jokey or perky.
From Darren: I totally failed safety and health course today.
That was what Darren texted you, randomly. It was as if he didn't get why you were being so curtly and then he changed the subject all of a sudden. Anyway, you texted him back.
To Darren: How did you manage that?
From Darren: Well, one of the questions was: In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?
To Darren: And...?
From Darren: 'Fucking large ones' was apparently the wrong answer.
To Darren: Omg.
Was he serious? How could he just answer something like that? Maybe that was a joke, but it sounded as something as Darren would do for real. Anyway, you had to admit that it was an original and witty answer. And that text message made you giggle and forget about W. Well, Darren had that effect on you.
From Darren: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
To Darren: What?
From Darren: Nothing, they just waved.
To Darren: Oh...
From Darren: Do you 'sea' what I did there?
To Darren: No...
From Darren: I'm 'shore' you did!
To Darren: How do you have friends?
From Darren: Hey! Don't be such a 'beach'!
To Darren: Omfg, Darren. You're impossible.
From Darren: Whatever, I can see you laughing!
To Darren: That you wish!
From Darren: I could keep goin', you know?
To Darren: Please, don't. Remind me why I gave you my number.
From Darren: Cause I'm adorable and funny! ;)
To Darren: Bye, Darren, bye.
From Darren: That fought me and taught me that friends never say, never say goodbyeeeee!
To Darren: Wow. You're Elton John! May I get an autograph?
From Darren: Too busy. But I'll consider it just because I'm nice. Lunch on the tree?
To Darren: Sounds good.
From Darren: See ya later! ;)
To Darren: See ya, smileys whore.
From Darren: Best compliment ever! :) :)
To Darren: Oh boy.
From Darren: :)
Definitely Darren got it, he made you smile like fool and he made you laugh like an idiot. And thanks to him, you texted in the middle of a class for the first time; for the very first time you didn't pay attention in class. So now you knew how it felt like to be texting in class with a friend and now you understood why people used to do it a lot. Because it was just so funny and because you could smile; even if the class was the most boring class in the planet. Yes, you had no idea about this before. And Darren was just this goofy and dork guy that you couldn't hold your feelings for him; it seemed as if every new thing you were getting to know about him, was only making you fall harder for him. And that was a problem.
So the day in school has started just in the way I expected. First, that asshole, Brian, who started saying senseless and rude things. Man, I wanted to punch him straight in his face! But I didn't do it thanks to Freckles and her damn amazing artfulness. I was super surprised when she stood in front of him and she faced him that way, she seemed so strong and for the first time she felt superior to Brian. No wait, it was for the third time. Yeah, the first time was when she punched that asshole in the Spanish class and the second time it was when we had that terrible fight. Whatever, she was amazing. It was amazing the way Brian was looking at her not knowing what to say, and when he tried to punch her but she was faster and she gave him his due. So it wasn't so bad the way the day started, but then we all received an anonymous text message from W.
"Well, well. The game is gettin' more exciting, suckers. That was an enthralling but a blockhead movement. This is the way you want to play? Brilliant, you all are gonna wail when you find out you're completely bludgeoned and defeated. -W-"
If this was the way W was all the time harassing Freckles, then I realized how strong she was. I mean, this was not nice at all and any other person would have given up, but she didn't. Yes, she was about to give up, but now, and considering how she acted with Brian earlier, I could tell she was finally facing those assholes. To be honest, I was afraid she couldn't keep going with the plan, but I was wrong. And she gave me her number, I finally had her number. I was pretty excited to have it, and I didn't know why I was that excited. It was as if now I'd be able to talk to her whenever I wanted without having to worry if someone hears us or not. And there was another reason why I was excited, but I tried not to think about it because it was senseless.
What it was amazing was the text conversation I had with Freckles. The conversation started well, but then, all of a sudden, her mood changed and I had the feeling it was because she surely received another threatening message, so I just tried to joke to make her forget about it and to make her laugh. I knew it worked even though her replies were a bit curtly. That was what I proposed to myself: I was going to help her every time she was down because of this stupid W person, but I was going to help her in a way she couldn't notice, because I was sure she didn't like to receive much help because she couldn't trust on people and it was understandable considering all she had to go through. So that was my way: make her forget those threatening messages; and I was going to get it by making her laugh, so then I would hear her beautiful laugh. Oh damn! Why was I thinking about her laugh this way? Whatever. That was my secret plan. But Freckles wasn't the only one who received a threatening anonymous message. That W texted me as well, not long after I finished my conversation with Freckles.
"Twinkle twinkle little snitch, mind your own business you nosey bitch. -W-"
That message was kind of stupid for me; well, at least I had to think like that if I didn't want to feel down and scared. Of course W was talking about that I shouldn't help Freckles because this person actually didn't want to mess with me because the problem was only with Freckles; and surely was saying I was a snitch because I sent a text message to Jen telling her what I thought it was happening to Freckles. How could W know about this? It was weird. Anyway, W wouldn't get me so easily; I already made the decision and it was to stick with Freckles.
"Do you know what happens with snitches? They die. Then, you wouldn't like to be a snitch, Criss, would you? -W-"
Screw this W. That person wouldn't scare me by threatening me with death. This person couldn't kill anyone for real, or could? I didn't know, I was going to find it out sooner or later. The threatening messages increased after I had lunch with Freckles and Jen and after we all told to each other all the text messages that W sent to us during the day. It only could mean something: They knew about our place to have lunch because they were following us all the time. The weird thing was that I didn't see anyone following us, and there was no one around us. How could W know about this?
"I never thought you could be so stupid, Criss. You're gonna regret, now you're involved on this. Prepare yourself to go through the worst you've ever gone. -W-"
"1, 2, 3 what is this? 4, 5, 6, you're a halfwit. 7, 8, 9, you're in the death line. 10, you're gonna regret every now and then. -W-"
"Oh, Criss, Criss; little assrat bastard. I'll shoot right where it hurts most. If I were you, I wouldn't let certain someone go to the supermarket on Sunday morning. Something bad could happen. -W-"
Those were some of the text messages that W sent me during school. Something caught my attention. The person who was texting me, definitely knew things of my private life, considering the last text this person sent me. That person knew about my family habits. This W person knew that my mom was used to go to the supermarket on Sunday morning. So this situation was beyond school, they knew all the things we were used to do out school and that was when I really started to freak out. They could mess with whatever they wanted, but not with my family. How would W know that my family was the most important thing to me? Now I could understand better why Freckles was so afraid and why she didn't want to involve us on this, why she couldn't trust on anybody. I understood her better because I was experiencing all she was experiencing, and for sure what W was texting her was even worse. To be honest, I couldn't see how we were going to manage to keep going and win them, but I didn't want to disappoint neither Jen nor Freckles. I promised them that we would be fine at the end. How was I going to get it? I didn't know.
The only thing that made me change my bad mood was that now it was 4 pm and I was in Contraband Coffee Bar, impatiently waiting for this sexy cheerleader to arrive. I was pretty excited to see her and to talk to her, now I was feeling more confident since she was the one who told me to come here. Of course it was because it was a club reunion, but whatever, she told me to be here, so here I was. I remembered when Jen suggested me the first day of school to join this club only to talk to this cheerleader, and so I did. I couldn't love Jen more. I was sitting next to people I didn't know because honestly, I never knew who was in the club or who wasn't, because all I did was to look at this girl. Then I saw her entering the coffee bar and it was little to say that my heart skipped a beat. Not to mention when she walked straight to where I was to sit next to me. Oh for fuck's sake! She looked ever sexier without her cheerleader uniform. She was so gorgeous that of course every guy in the coffee bar turned to look at her and of course every girl there looked at her with jealousy.
"Hi, Mandy." I said like a twat when she sat next to me. I needed Jen here to tell me that I needed to learn how to talk in front of this hot girl.
"Hi, Darren. I'm surprised, you remembered my name." Mandy said looking at me with her outstanding eyes and smiling with her perfect mouth. Oh, that mouth.
"How wouldn't I?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, looking at her bewitched.
"Umm, thanks, I guess?" She said frowning and smiling amused. She knew I was so into her. I was so fucking obvious.
"Yeah, sorry for my stupidity. I swear I try to be normal, but then that's not me." I said now trying to look away not to look like a depraved, but her eyes were magnetic.
"Who would like to talk to a normal person?" She asked looking at me and smiling widely. Man, has she tried to say that she enjoyed talking to me? Uh, maybe I was picturing things in my mind.
"Being true to my life motto, I'll answer: I don't know." I said shrugging and smiling. Okay, damn, Darren! Use your charisma and sympathy to get her; do not act like a jerk.
"That's a good one. But you know, sometimes it's not useful." She said winking. Oh my fucking god, she winked at me and it was amazing.
"What do you mean? It always worked to me." I asked shrugging and looking at her curious, and of course frowning.
"Well, what if I happen to ask you if you'd like to hang out with me? Would you answer me 'I don't know'?" She asked looking at me intensely and a bit amused. Goddammit, she was so good at this. She totally had me in her knees.
"Oh well, I think I could make an exception." I answered winking at her. Fuck you, Darren! Did you necessarily have to wink at her? You retarded.
"Really? Then what would be your answer to that question?" She asked in a fucking sensual way. Could she be maybe flirting with me? No, that made no sense. She was on other level; she was the girl who dated popular football players not awkward jerks like me.
"Let me think...I guess my answer would be that I wouldn't like it." I responded, smiling amused. I was finally recovering my sense of flirting. This was my fucking one chance to get her attention, and chances like this one didn't happen often.
"Ouch, I feel rejected." She said looking at me frowning and confused, apparently offended. "Do you know you're the first guy who answers me something like that?"
"Well then, I might be an asshole." I answered shrugging and looking at her intensely into her eyes, flirting as much as possible.
"No, actually I guess you're a special guy. Wow, for the first time someone rejected my invitation to hang out. This is not happening. Wow." The girl exclaimed in disbelief and stunned. Yep, I got her attention now, which was good. "I don't know what to say now, this never happened to me."
"Well, I could make this easier and I could ask you something if you want this conversation to flow." I said looking at her seductively and raising an eyebrow. She looked at me curious and intrigued. Well done, Darren!
"Well, ask me something, then." Mandy requested curious and still bewildered because of my rejection.
"Would you like to hang out with me this weekend?" I asked flirty.
"What? But minutes ago you told me you wouldn't like it..." Mandy said even more confused and I was so amused by her reaction.
"No, you didn't understand." I said looking at her fervently. "I said I wouldn't like it, because it was you the one who asked to hang out. Personally, I think the guy is the one who must ask it. I'm the typical old-fashioned guy who wants to make feel a lady just as she deserves, and it implies that I have to court her. And my plan would totally fail if you asked me so before I did. If I hang out with you, I'd like to make you feel wanted for who you are and not like other people who would be interested to hang out with you to get a booty call considering how gorgeous you are." I said with my highest level of flirting.
"Oh my god." Mandy exclaimed, looking at me with eyes wide open, lips slightly parted, and stunned. I couldn't tell if her reaction was a good one or not. "You're truly special."
"Maybe I am, maybe not. You wouldn't know if you don't give me the chance to hang out with you." I said winking at her seductively.
"How could I say no to your offer after your sweet speech? And now I'm kinda intrigued to find out if you're special or not." Mandy said looking at me with a bright smile.
Oh my god, oh my god! Was she saying yes to my suggestion to hang out? This had to be a sort of a dream. Dammit! This was all I wanted since years! But anyway, I wasn't feeling as happy and excited as I should be. I was feeling like, 'Cool, I got to ask her for a kind of a date this weekend.' instead feeling like 'Holy fuck! The girl of my dreams is gonna hang out with me and this is totally insane and I think I'm gonna have a heart attack!'. Well, maybe I wasn't feeling like that because I still couldn't believe she was saying yes.
"So, this weekend at Gary Danko?" I asked with a bright grin.
"Love that place." Mandy answered with a sensual smile.
"Hey, you two! Pay attention! I'm not gonna repeat this again." The leader of the club said kind of annoyed.
That was the time when I took advantage to wink at her seductively before looking at the leader and pay attention. I could notice that she giggled softly and adorably because of my flirting. Yeah, I was going to hang out with this sexy cheerleader as I always wanted and it was totally awesome. But something wasn't feeling right.
When school finished and you went home, you kept receiving text messages from W and each time it was getting worse and worse. You couldn't stand it anymore, you were getting tired, annoyed and frustrated because anything changed for good in the last few days. You were quiet in your bedroom, listening to loud music since nobody was home: your parents were still at work and your sister, as usual, was with her friends. You were lying in bed until you got one more text message from W.
"It's such bliss not to see your ugly and deformed face until tomorrow. Look in the mirror, you hideous and unsightly bitch. -W-"
You stood up and walked to the mirror by inertia, and then you saw your reflection in the mirror. This time W was right. You were just an ugly girl. Your eye was still swollen and black and you had that horrible scar on your jaw, a scar that would remain there for the rest of your life. Tears started to stream down your face in anguish, you couldn't help it. Now that you were alone, you could be weak as you actually were, because no one was looking at you. This was not what you wanted for your life years ago, this was not how life was supposed to be. Why did it have to be everything so hard and tough? Why did it have to be everything so unfair and hopeless? And you thought hours ago that maybe Darren was feeling something for you. How was it possible if you were this ugly girl, full of bumps and scars? What kind of stupid girl were you? No one ever would be interested in you and less Darren. You looked in the mirror your large scar on your jaw again. This was a tangible scar that those bullies have done to you; it was the proof of all the damage they were doing to you. They already started destroying you and you weren't winning anything, and most likely you wouldn't win, only that you didn't want to admit it. Right now, you just wanted to be pretty as your sister, so none of this would have happened. You just wanted to be like one of those Disney princesses, a pretty princess who was happy next to her Prince Charming and nothing was bad, and it had a happy ending. But that was just a fairy tale and it wasn't going to happen because it wasn't real and because you didn't look at all like a princess. You were just like the ogre of the fairy tale and you had to deal with it.
"Don't be sad, ugly bitch, maybe you're like the frog that must be kissed to turn into a pretty human being. But, who would kiss you? -W-"
That was enough. You were tired of this kind of physical, emotional and psychological harassment. They were degrading every single thing of your essence as a human being. You even thought about changing your phone number, but it was worthless because they, one way or another, would end up finding it out; as they found out the phone number of Jen and Darren. They knew everything. You put your phone aside, but it kept buzzing.
"The story goes that the ugly frog wanted to be kissed by a Prince Charming named Darren Criss. Tells the story that the frog thought that no one knew that, but truth was everybody was making fun of that stupid fantasy of the ugly frog. How sad! -W-"
You looked at that text message and you got pale. How the fuck did W know about this? How if you didn't tell this to anyone? This was bad, too bad. What were you going to do now? You knew that W was going to start harassing you with this. You knew that this was going to fuck up everything and you had no escape. Oh jeez, you didn't know how to deny it, how to deal with this, how to try to hide this from Darren. Now Darren was going to find it out, he was going to know that you had a crush on him since a long time and then your plan with him and Jen was going to fail. And W knew that you wouldn't tell about this text message to anyone, not even Jen. W knew that this was the way in which this person was going to destroy any kind of hope you had; W knew this was the way to screw up your plans. How were you going to win according to Darren's plan if you were going to keep certain things in secret? This was a vicious circle in which in any way you were going to end up defeated; not only you but also Darren and Jen who were helping you. Fuck.
"Tell me ugly bitch... How it feels to be someone's second choice? -W-"
W sent that text message with a picture. So then it was the time when W started harassing with pictures. It was a picture of Darren smiling cheerfully and talking to a girl you did recognize, in a coffee bar. The two of them were very close and they seemed to be enjoying each other's presence, and Darren had this look you've never seen on him before.
"Oh yeah little bitch, you did recognize who the girl is, didn't you? The prettiest girl in school who happens to be someone you know pretty well. Breaking news! Your Prince Charming wants to get laid with the hottest girl! Only because I'm mannerly, I left a little present in your front door. Go and see it! -W-"
Now you were crying in anger and sadness. Anger because this person was messing with your feelings and this person was going further than what you expected. And sadness because this picture killed any kind of hope you ever had to be with Darren; now, that wish seemed to be something really hard and even unreal to get. But you were also scared, because W mentioned about a present in the front door, so it meant that W knew where you lived. W knew it and he or she wouldn't leave you in peace. You went downstairs as fast as possible to go get that 'present'. And there you found it, a red box. You grabbed it, looked around to see if there was someone and when you made sure that no one was around, you entered your house again and closed the door. You looked at the red box for a while, afraid to open it. You really didn't know what it could be. The only certain thing was that it was heavy, so it couldn't be another picture or something like that. But you opened it because you needed to know what it was. It was a bottle of liquor. Really? As if you ever drank alcohol. Why would W send something like that? There was also a note.
"Not a cheap liquor, to see how mannerly I can be. You just drink it, maybe alcohol is gonna turn you into a nasty bitch, but it'd help you to forget how ugly you are and how lonely and unwanted you are. One drink and you're done. Enjoy! -W-"
You put the bottle of liquor aside with a disgusted face and then you sat on the couch. You closed your eyes and you tried to think about something nice to forget all the shit that was happening. But you failed because Darren's hazel eyes popped in your mind and your phone buzzed again.
"Don't think it's too easy, bitch. You don't want Criss to find your secret love for him? Then you must follow my rules, my game. Be wise, fat ass. -W-"
You looked at that text message and you knew you were screwed now. In both ways, following W rules or going on according to Darren's plan, this was going to end up in a bad way. Maybe drinking that liquor now wasn't a bad idea after all. Maybe you could drink only one cup, just to pass out the bitter situation. It took you four cups to get tipsy for the very first time in your life and you were feeling weird. Suddenly nothing was too bad and you were thinking about something different from the shit that was actually happening. Suddenly you didn't have this load upon your shoulders, suddenly you weren't feeling tired. You were feeling relaxed and everything seemed funnier than normal, even some things started to distort. But it was good feelings mixed with the deep anguish you were feeling. It wasn't till hours that your phone buzzed again.
From Darren: Are you up to meet me in that place only we know?
To Darren: Why wuld yo wanit?
From Darren: Oh girl, so many typos in your last text! Never mind. Remember you told me you didn't know me at all and I told you that it's not late to get to know more about each other? Well, I guess it could be cool and there's no better place than that.
To Darren: Yeah.
From Darren: Yes what?
To Darren: I rembrer it.
From Darren: Remember is what you meant? So, what do you say? Would you want to meet me there, at the same place in an hour?
To Darren: Im bus.
From Darren: What? Omg, are you a bus? I thought you were a girl. Just kidding, are you sleep-texting?
To Darren: I dont gt wat u sayin. The tree theres u wnt t meet?
From Darren: I'm having a big problem in understanding you today. But I guess I got it. Yes, there's where I'm telling you to meet, but if you're sleeping it's not a problem, we can make it another day.
To Darren: K.
From Darren: And that means..?
To Darren: Goin to b ther in hour.
From Darren: Cool! See you soon, then, Freckles! :)
What the hell was Darren trying to say to you? You could barely read his text messages and it was as if all the words were messed up. But you got it, that you and he were going to meet in an hour. Why did he want it? He was supposed to be with the prettiest girl in school, not wasting his time with an ugly girl like you. And why did you accept to go there? You knew the answer: You really wanted to see him, you wanted to be with him, you wanted to spend time with him. Screw everything! Screw W and all the fucking rules and plans! Screw the bullies, the threatening messages, the haters, school, and just everything! You were going to do the fuck you wanted and no one was going to stop you. You stood up to go to that place, and when you stood up, you felt really dizzy. But it didn't stop you from doing what you wanted to do: To meet Darren.
I was at the same place where I met Freckles for the first time out of school; I arrived there 15 minutes earlier, so I knew she wasn't going to be there yet. Then I took advantage to place on the ground the blanket I brought and my guitar next to the tree and then I sat there, waiting for her to come. If she wanted to get to know me more, I had to show her one of the things I loved most and that was to sing and play my guitar. I was excited to meet her because I had a sort of plan in mind. Well, she wasn't coming anyway but at this point I guessed that maybe she wasn't punctual. So I started thinking about the conversation I had with Mandy in the coffee bar and I finally got excited for that. I was getting to hang out with her as I always wanted, and this time I thought I had a chance with her, unlike before. Jen would be proud of the way I talked to Mandy; I needed to tell her what happened in the afternoon. When I was thinking about Mandy and what I could do with her in the weekend, Freckles arrived. She was walking towards me, stumbling a little and not walking in a straight line. She was surely sleeping when I texted her. I just watched her coming to me with a smile.
"Why do you always arrive before me? Not fair, not fair!" She yelled in the distance, slurring.
"I have a wrist watch." I joked, yelling because she was still several steps away from me.
"Dammit, I need to get one." She slurred now standing in front of me.
"Maybe I'm gonna give you one for your birthday." I said smiling widely as I saw how she dropped herself on the blanket.
"That would be the worst birthday gift ever, man! For my birthday I want a pink bunny with yellow spots, a bunny that can sing and dance and fly! Well then, that would be awesome." She said slurred with eyes wide open, looking at nowhere in particular.
"I'd have never guessed that you could say nonsense things. I like it." I said giggling looking at her.
"Not senseless. Once I saw one in my yard." She said now looking at me as if she was telling me a secret and I laughed out loud. I never thought she could be this funny.
"You gotta introduce that bunny to me." I said still giggling amused.
"They surely followed me." She said looking behind her with a terrified face, changing abruptly the subject. I also looked behind her but there was no one, so I just looked at her again, frowning.
"Who's following you?" I asked curious looking into her eyes. Well, she had droopy eyes and she was now chuckling for nothing in particular.
"W of course!" She responded while giggling.
"Why do you say it?" I asked serious but she was still giggling. What was wrong with her?
"Today W was nice and gave me a little present. W knows where I live. Woo, scary!" She answered as though she was joking, or as though she was taking this in a not so serious way. She wouldn't stop chuckling.
"What do you mean? How's that thing that W knows where you live?" I asked worried but she kept laughing. "Freckles, stop laughing! This isn't funny, this is a serious thing."
"Oh, snap! Party pooper!" She exclaimed, now frowning and looking at a random flower over there. "That flower is yellow. Why are some flowers yellow?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked in disbelief and she stared at me with her droopy eyes, not being able to focus her sight.
"No. This is an eerie world. Flowers can be yellow and beautiful but those flowers are surrounded by mean people who destroy them. Why does it have to be like that?" She asked getting closer to me as if she wanted to tell me a secret while I was just looking at her frowning. "W destroys the yellow flowers, you're a yellow flower, so are Jen and I, but I'm just a wilted yellow flower."
I smelled her breath. It smelled like alcohol. Yeah, damn! That was why she was talking about random stuff, laughing, with droopy eyes, slurring her words, and not walking in straight line. And that was the reason why her text messages had a lot of typos. She was surely drunk. But why? She didn't seem the kind of girl who used to drink alcohol. Anyway, out of all the nonsense things she was saying, there was a hint of sense, distorted, but there it was.
"Have you been drinking?" I asked serious, looking at her who was still looking at me with her droopy eyes.
"I have to drink to survive. Human beings don't survive without food and water. I learned it in school." She answered chuckling again. "I wasted my whole life trying to be smart to be a better woman in the future for what? To learn that human beings can't survive without food and water? Lame, lame, lame! I should have been popular and stupid and materialist, then none of this would have happened."
"Stop it, Freckles. You're beautiful just the way you are. And you're indeed smart and you don't need to be like them to be loved." I said looking into her eyes. Yeah, she was drunk but I always heard that drunken people always tell the truth, and she was saying out loud all she was thinking.
"I'm a wilted flower. Who would like wilted flowers?" She said slurring her words, looking at her lap.
"People who believe in you, like me and Jen and I'm sure a lot of more people. People who are wise enough to know that a wilted flower is better than a perfect flower, because you can turn a wilted flower into a precious flower with effort, and that wilted flower would end up being the best flower in the yard; while the perfect flower could turn into a wilted flower. You know, people would appreciate more the wilted flower." I answered, trying to follow her way of talking about this delicate stuff.
"I don't get what you're saying. Why do you speak so fast?" She asked kinda confused and frowning, trying to look at me.
"That's something that characterizes me." I answered shrugging and smiling.
She lay down, huffing, to look at the stars; so then I lay down next to her and I held her hand in silence. She didn't look at me when I did that but she didn't let out her hand either. So then I got closer to her and I stared the stars.
"Stars are beautiful. They shine all the time, even if the sky is rough. They shine and it doesn't matter what comes to happen, they're always gonna shine and they're high and free, and everybody loves the stars. Sometimes I'd like to be a star." Freckles said slurring her words and looking at the stars, thoughtful.
"I do think you're star. Only that you're still afraid to shine." I whispered near her ear.
"It makes no sense. Stars are beautiful and I'm just an ugly bitch." She said kinda annoyed and frowning.
"Who told you that you're an ugly bitch?" I asked now looking at her, looking at her face at the moonlight.
"Everybody thinks so, even you." She answered with sad voice and her eyes started to shine even more, as if she was about to cry.
"I don't think you're an ugly bitch. I think you're pretty." I answered seeing all over her face until she looked at me sadly.
"No, you don't. Right now you're seeing my awful scars and my deformed face. I'm not a fool, Darren. I know no one thinks I'm pretty, because I know I'm not, not with these scars." Freckles said with teary voice and very anguished.
I felt pity for her, because of the way she was thinking. And she wasn't ugly; I still thought that she was pretty even with her scars. But I felt sad because she couldn't see it like that and it was understandable. So I just got even closer to her and I looked deeply into her eyes, starting to caress the large scar in her jaw.
"I still think you're pretty. Even with your scars. You know why? Because this scar is the proof of how brave and strong you are. And that's why you're prettier than any other girl. Other girls could be prettier but only because of their appearance, but you're prettier inside and outside, and that's why you win." I said sweetly, still caressing her scar and looking deeply into her big sad eyes, which were now shedding tears.
"Do not tell me things like that if you don't mean it because it hurts." She said with choked voice, still looking at me.
"But I really mean it." I answered smiling kindly at her.
"You're lying. If what you told me had been true, someone would have wanted to be my boyfriend." She said now looking at the stars again, still shedding tears and I just squeezed her hand.
"Maybe that's because you still didn't find any man worthy of your love." I answered still looking at her, even if she wasn't looking at me.
"That's what everybody would answer when there's nothing to say. That's what everybody would answer when feeling pity for someone else." She said staring at the stars blankly.
"No, I really..." I started saying but she interrupted me.
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" She asked curious, but still looking at the sky.
"Yeah..." I answered feeling a bit uncomfortable and not getting why she was asking me this.
"How does it feel? How does it feel to be in love and to be loved by someone?" She asked almost in a whisper as I remained extremely silent for a long time. "Please, answer me. If I can't feel it by myself, then at least I want to know how it feels. If nobody can love me and I can't be in love, then I really want to know how it feels before I get destroyed by W. Please."
"Freckles, look at me." I requested kind of sad because of what she said and how it sounded, so hopeless. When she looked at me with her big distressed eyes, I stared at her for a while before talking. "You're not gonna be destroyed by W because I won't let it happen. And someday you're gonna get to feel it by yourself, when the right time comes. And I know in that time you're gonna be really happy and I'm gonna be happy for you too. But don't say again that you won't feel it never ever, because I'm sure there's gonna be a guy who's gonna give you everything and you will finally feel as you deserve."
"Darren, it comes a time when you need to be realistic, it doesn't matter how much it hurts, but you have to be realistic. Look at me, Darren. Look at me very intently. Who would want to be with a girl like me? And don't lie to me because I'm sick of lies, and I can tell when someone is lying to me out of pity and when not." She said distressed but strong and I felt even worse. It was hurtful to see her so hopeless. "I just want to know how it feels. Could you do it for me? Could you make me feel how it feels with your words? It's the only thing I'm asking you, please."
"I'm just gonna tell you because this is what you're gonna feel sooner or later, not because I think you won't feel it at all." I said looking into her eyes and I saw how she only nodded. "It feels amazing. At first you don't realize you're in love with someone, I don't know if it's because you don't want to admit it or because you actually don't realize you're falling. It's like a process. You can't fall for someone because you chose it; you fall in love with someone when you get to know more this person, when you start to like everything about the other person. It's like you start thinking about this special someone all the time, all the time is there in your mind, and every time you get to see this person you feel something here..." I said with a smile placing my hand on her stomach. "Right here in your stomach, you feel some kind of tickle that just makes you smile and act like a fool. You feel totally weird. It's like a torture, actually, but it's a good kind of torture. You feel like you want to spend all the time with this person because there's nothing that can make you happier. No matter what you're doing, you just want to be with this person and you can barely contain your feelings. Then is when you feel this need to touch this person, to hug her, to caress her, to kiss her; but not only that, you also feel this need to make her smile, to make her laugh, to take care of her. Then is when you start to think 'Whoa, man! This girl drives me crazy. Could I be falling for her?' And that's the time when you admit it. Yes, you're falling for her, and falling hard, not being able to control it." I explained thinking about all those times I felt something like that. Freckles was looking at me intently and I realized I was smiling like a fool, but I didn't care. "And when you admit it, it comes the time when you try to show this special someone what your real feelings for her are. At first you go slow, shy and unsure; this is the time when you seem a total idiot. Because you aren't sure if the person feels the same for you or not, and you don't want to screw what you have. But you want to be with her and it is really hard not to kiss her, so you just take the risk. And the most amazing thing is when you find out that this person feels exactly like you. It's like everything seems brighter, everything is more beautiful and you think 'Man, life is so fucking precious. How couldn't I notice it before?' Then you forget about time, you forget where you are and who's there, because all you care is to be happy with this person and make her feel just as happy. Everything is as if you were in fairy tale, where nothing can go wrong and nothing is as bad as you thought. It's just you and that special person and it's totally awesome. Just that, you can't explain it, because you just feel it. And it's the best feeling someone can feel, for sure." I finished saying with a huge smile on my face, looking at the stars.
Then I looked at Freckles and I saw her eyes looking deeply into mine. She was shedding tears, but those weren't tears of sadness, it was more like tears of thrill. I only smiled at her, intertwining my fingers with hers, both of us lying down in the blanket and staring at each other in that dark night full of stars. It seemed as though we were in middle of a romantic movie, except for the fact that we were only friends.
"That was so wonderful. Thank you for making me feel it." Freckles said still shedding tears, with a faint smile on her face.
"Someday, a guy is going to make you feel all of this and you'll feel this in the flesh." I said smiling kindly at her and her smile kind of disappeared. Did I say something wrong?
"Maybe." She answered gloomy and the she stared at the stars again. "How many times have you felt this?"
"The whole thing?" I asked. "Twice. But I did feel only the first steps like...twice too."
I had to admit it; after all I wasn't going to tell her for who I felt this way and when. Yes, to be honest, I was feeling something like this for Mandy. With Mandy, I was in that stage where I wanted to be with her all the time and I was thinking about her all the time, I was in that stage where I acted like a fool and I couldn't stop smiling whenever I was with her. But I did feel something like this for someone else. Someone who was now right in front of me. And I didn't realize it until I started to tell her how it felt to be falling for someone. Yes, I was feeling totally weird whenever I was with Freckles. Yes, I used to think about her several times. Yes, I couldn't stop talking to her, now it was also texting her. Yes, I really enjoyed being with her. Like fuck, I enjoyed being with her more than I should. But maybe it was only because she was kind of intriguing to me; maybe it was because I really wanted to know more about her because she wasn't like any other girl. There was no way I could be falling for her because there was Mandy, and Mandy was the girl who was driving me crazy. With Freckles I felt something different from what I was feeling for Mandy, it was completely different. So that was why I couldn't be falling for Freckles, maybe what I was feeling for Freckles was just something as if she were my sister, something like that. I didn't know.
"I don't get what you tried to say." Freckles said slurring her words and looking at me confused.
"Well, I only felt some of these things for two girls. And I felt everything of this with other two girls, who were my girlfriends. I only had two girlfriends." I explained so she could understand me. "One of my girlfriends was Jen." I said laughing when I remembered the time I dated Jen.
"Jen? Really? And what happened? Are you guys still dating?" She asked curious and surprised.
"No, not at all." I laughed shaking my head. "I mean, yes. It's true. But Jen and I aren't dating. She was my first girlfriend and it happened when I was 14. Jen and I met in our Freshman year in this school. I was alone and I didn't know anybody, and so was Jen. We met in our Math class and I remember that I didn't understand a damn shit of what the teacher was saying, and if you don't know, Jen is really good when it comes to math, so she just helped me to resolve an exercise. And that was when we started talking. We used to spend all the time together since that time, only talking and laughing and getting to know more about each other." I said with a smile when I remembered how I met Jen. "Then I started to feel weird whenever I was with her. And one day we were at my house, in my bedroom, just doing nothing, and she looked so beautiful to me that I couldn't contain any longer what I was feeling for her, but I didn't know how to tell her this. So I just decided to sing her a song to tell her all that I felt for her. And she told me she was feeling the same. That was my first kiss." I said smiling widely and kind of nostalgic. "We dated for three months to find out that it wasn't going to work. Yeah, we loved each other so fucking much, but just as friends. Jen was and is very important to me, but she's only like the sister I've never had."
When I was telling Freckles my story with Jen, I find out something. My story with Freckles wasn't so different from my story with Jen. So then it could only mean that I was beginning to grow fond of her but only as my friend. I needed to keep it in mind.
"That's a nice story. Now I get why you love her so much." Freckles said smiling and trying to focus her eyes on mine, but she was failing. "And who was the second girlfriend?"
"Karen." I said laughing. "But things were different with her. What I had with her is something I don't want to remember because at first everything ended up really bad. She didn't want to talk to me because she was saying I was an asshole, and she was trying to get me back because she was still in love with me, but I didn't feel anything for her anymore. But with time, she stopped loving me and she apologized. So that's why we're friends now."
"Wow, you're such a heart-breaker." Freckles said slurred and I just laughed.
"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not." I said looking at her amused.
"It is." Freckles whispered, smiling and trying to look into my eyes, but her eyes were so droopy. "You're so beautiful and funny and everything. You're everything."
"What?" I asked amused and giggling because of the way she said it, slurring her words and still trying to focus her eyes on mine.
And then it happened something I wasn't expecting at all and goddammit. She leaned over, closed her eyes and kissed abruptly my lips while I was just like 'Whoa, whoa! What the hell?'. I was just looking at her astonished while she was pressing her lips against mine, but then... Then I closed my eyes, I placed a hand on her jaw and I kissed her back. I just couldn't explain it, but it was as if I had the need to do this, because it was what I wanted, even if I was all the time denying it. And her lips were so soft and sweet. And her lips fitted perfectly with mine. And I wanted more, I wanted to kiss her more and I didn't want this kiss to end. So I placed my other hand on the nape of her neck and I softly pulled her closer to me. Then I was in the perfect position to deepen the kiss, I just touched her lips with the tip of my tongue and she let me manage this; she let me explore her mouth with my tongue and it just felt so damn amazing. This was being my best kiss so far and I just wanted more. I knew I was getting hard but I didn't care, I only wanted this. Slowly, I leaned my body on top of hers and I intertwined a leg with hers, still kissing her perfect lips. I was feeling so good, so weird. But then she gently pushed me away and looked into my eyes. That was the time when I realized what I was doing. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This wasn't right, I shouldn't be kissing her, I shouldn't be feeling like this! I was just a mess and she was looking at me frowning with a weird face.
"Darren...Darren..." She babbled with the same weird and pale face. "I'm not feeling good, I'm not feeling..."
And then she turned her face to do what any drunk person would have done: she threw up. Dammit. She only kissed me because she was drunk and I, like a moron, took advantage of this to kiss her back. But I felt so good that it scared me. Shit.