TEENAGE DREAM
Chapter 8
Nightmare and ambush
Freckles was now sitting on the blanket and looking away, apparently embarrassed and still feeling bad because of the effects of alcohol. This was surely the first time she drank alcohol because she couldn't understand why she was feeling like that. I was sitting behind her, rubbing her back smoothly, trying to reassure her. I still couldn't believe how I could have been such an asshole to take advantage of her condition. Yeah, it was true that she was the one who kissed me first, but she wasn't aware of it because she couldn't even talk properly and focus her sight. And I kissed her back, it was me the one who deepened the kiss, it was me the one who couldn't stop kissing her and it was me the one who fucking got on top of her. How could I have done something like that? Freckles was a friend and I really didn't want to lose her as my friend for a stupid reaction I had; a reaction that I still couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why I felt so damn good and why I loved her lips if I didn't have any passionate feeling for her. How could I solve this now? I only wished she wouldn't remember this next day. And that was making me a bad person. How could I think that way? That wasn't me. At this point, I really didn't know what I wanted.
"Freckles, are you alright?" I finally whispered in her ear from behind her, still rubbing her back.
"I don't know. I feel weird." Freckles answered still slurring her words.
"You're gonna feel better soon. You're just feeling like this because you got drunk." I said softly, rubbing her back reassuringly.
"I'm so ashamed, so ashamed." Freckles said while covering her face with her hands.
"Hey, don't worry. It's not as if I've never seen something like this in my life." I said kindly and then I kissed her temple while still rubbing her back. "Do you feel like throwing up again?"
"No." Freckles answered in a whisper.
"How are you feeling? Any better or not?" I asked looking at her, even if she was still covering her face.
"I feel tired. I'm so sleepy, I just want to sleep." Freckles responded and she indeed sounded tired.
"It's normal." I said while stroking her long hair, but then she turned around and rested her head on my chest, wrapping her arms around me as I startled.
"I want to sleep." Freckles whispered with closed eyes and placing her head in a comfortable position for her.
"Then sleep. I'm not going anywhere." I whispered and I wrapped my arms around her, only to comfort her. Was that my only intention?
I knew that Freckles was now sleeping on my chest and I didn't want to wake her. I only wanted to be like this for a little more, I wanted to hug her the way I was doing right now; I wanted to feel her sleeping on my chest the way she was doing it now. I stared her for a long, looking at every single thing of her face and especially the scar on her jaw. She seemed to be really relaxed now, unlike any other time I saw her. It seemed that sleeping was the only way she could be in peace, as if it was the only escape she had from the shit she was going through. She now seemed so harmless and quiet. She looked even more beautiful. I wondered why she had to suffer this much, I wondered how she could be so strong, I wondered how someone could be a real asshole with her if she was just this outstanding girl. I wished everything could be different for her, I wished people could see her the way I see her. But no, everything was so unfair and I was mad because of that.
"I promise to take care of you. I won't let anything and anybody hurt you. Not anymore." I whispered looking at her and caressing her smooth hair, despite the fact that she was asleep and she couldn't hear me.
"Hmm?" Freckles suddenly babbled and I shivered. Damn, I thought she was sleeping.
"Nothing. I was just talking to myself." I lied a bit nervous, but still holding her in my arms. She only nodded. "Freckles, are you feeling better?"
"Yes." She whispered still with her eyes closed, her head on my chest and wrapping her arms around me.
"Do you want to come back?" I asked softly, stroking her hair. She only nodded. "Well, I...err...we should stand up...and...I can't let you go alone, but I don't know where you live. I'll need your help so I can walk you home."
"Okay." She answered but she didn't move and she didn't open her eyes.
"Where do you live?"
"Right there, next to the pink house. They have a dog called Sammie. I love that dog." She answered slurring her words.
"Okay, that's not helping. Freckles, do you know where we are now?" I asked looking at her who was still with eyes closed.
"Yes, we're here."
"And do you know where is here?"
"Just here. Please, let me sleep. I'm tired."
"Just one last thing... Do you know with who you are right now?"
"Yes, with you."
"Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, Bobby. Let me sleep, please. It's been a rough day and I just want to sleep and never wake up." She whispered sounding really tired and anguished.
I felt really bad in that moment. Not only because she wasn't aware that it was me the one who was with her, but also because she mentioned Bobby and I had no idea who this Bobby dude was. I had to admit that I felt kind of jealous when she mentioned Bobby. But why the hell was I feeling jealous? It was stupid. I also felt bad when she said she had a rough day and the only thing she wanted to do was to sleep. How much pain was she actually feeling deep down? She sounded very dejected and it broke my heart. And besides all of that, she didn't tell me where she lived, so I couldn't take her home. I looked for her phone in her pocket so maybe in that way I could contact with any member of her family, but then I thought it wasn't a good idea. What would her family think if a complete stranger called to tell them he had their little daughter and she was drunk in middle of the night? No man, that was a terrible idea, they were going to kill me. What the heck could I do now? There was only one solution and it was to take her to my house. But what would her parents think? The day before she didn't sleep at home and now she wasn't going to sleep at home either. Either her parents were liberals or they didn't care about her so much. She mentioned that she didn't have the best relationship with her family, but what has she actually tried to say with this? What I thought it was that she used to have arguments with her family but never, until now, popped in my mind that maybe her family didn't care about how she was or where she was, as if they didn't care if she was there or not because it was the same for them. I didn't want to think this was the real fact; it'd be so unfair for her, more than it already was. Well, I knew she would be welcome in my home, so then I was going to take her there. I looked at her and she was kind of passed out. I tried to wake her, but she didn't open her eyes and she didn't move; so I just raised her and I sat her on the grass against the tree so then I could put the blanket in my backpack. She didn't do anything; she was just sleeping in the same way. I put the blanket in my backpack and I slung it over my shoulder. Then I looked at my guitar and I thought for a while how I was going to manage to take it to my house with Freckles. So then I did something ridiculous, but it worked. I took off my hoodie and I wrapped it around the neck of the guitar to sling it over my other shoulder. Then I had my hands free to help Freckles walk. Once I was ready, I walked to Freckles and I kneeled, placing my hand on her shoulder.
"Freckles? Wake up, we must go." I whispered but she didn't move, so I spoke louder. "Freckles, wake up! It's late and you need to sleep."
Yeah sure, well said. 'You need to sleep' was the stupidest thing to say if she was already sleeping. Anyway, Freckles wasn't moving and she wasn't uttering any sound. I tried several times to wake her, but it wasn't working. I didn't have any other option: I would have to pick her up in my arms and take her to my home this way. When I picked her up in my arms, she didn't wake up. Damn, she was kind of heavy since she was completely asleep, even if she didn't seem to be heavy. How the fuck would I manage to walk home with my guitar and backpack on my shoulders and with Freckles in my arms? That was going to be tough. But I did it. I arrived home and my whole body was in pain, but she was safe. When I arrived home, everybody was sleeping and I tried to sneak into the guest room in silence to leave Freckles there. No one heard me and it was good. I didn't want my parents to see me like this or they would probably assume that I was the one who made her get drunk. I lay her down in bed and I left my backpack and guitar next to her bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Damn, my back was aching like hell. Freckles, meanwhile, didn't notice that I left her there. I just couldn't leave her like that with all of those uncomfortable clothes; but I couldn't do anything about it either, because she was fast asleep.
"Freckles?" I asked in the silent room to wake her up and to tell her to put on the same clothes that I lent her last night, which were still there.
Freckles didn't move, she wasn't listening to me at all. She seemed to be away, dreaming. It was amazing to see her peace. I thought I could spend hours just looking at her sleeping. No, no, no! Why was I thinking that? I took off her shoes, I covered her with the quilt, and I stood up to go to my own bedroom, but then she spoke.
"I'm uncomfortable." She grumbled, frowning and still with closed eyes, pulling away the quilt and tugging her clothes.
"Freckles!" I exclaimed walking towards her again and grabbing the clothes I lent her last night. "Yes, take this. You can wear these clothes."
"Don't want, tired." She mumbled still with closed eyes and frowning.
"Okay." I said looking at her, who was shifting in bed in discomfort, still tugging her clothes.
"Change my clothes, I'm uncomfortable." Freckles grumbled again with closed eyes and I looked at her stunned and kinda nervous.
"What? I... No." I refused shaking my head, even if she wasn't looking at me. "Here are the clothes if you want to change, but I won't change you."
"Please, change me. I can't do it by myself." Freckles grumbled again and she tried to unbutton her jeans but she failed.
"No, I won't." I refused strongly.
I couldn't just undress her. No, the idea of undressing her right after I kissed her and I liked it, scared me like hell. No, because I didn't know what I could do, because at this point I didn't know what I would feel or do. I just couldn't trust on myself whenever I was with her. Yes, I would do this if it was Jen or Karen the ones who were asking me so, because I was aware they were my friends and nothing else; but not with Freckles because even though I considered her as my friend, I couldn't act like a friend for some weird reason.
"Fine." Freckles complained, now sitting in bed, still with closed eyes. She tried to take off her shirt but she tangled with it. I didn't know how the hell she did that, but now a sleeve was like strangling her neck while the other sleeve was covering her face.
"Whoa, whoa!" I exclaimed kinda worried and I walked towards her when I noticed she couldn't breathe.
I sat on the edge of the bed and I finally helped her to take her shirt off. She took a deep breathe when her shirt stopped strangling her neck and she dropped herself in bed abruptly, still with closed eyes and red face. My eyes drifted to her half-naked body, I couldn't help it. Fuck, why was I looking at her boobs and bra? Dammit, such a pervert! Anyway, I kept looking at her half-naked body but now not in a horny way; now I was looking at it sadly. Her upper body was all bruised, surely since that time she was beaten by Brian and Jim. Jeez, this was terrible. I had no idea she was this bruised. It was assuredly very painful for her. How could she stand this? Instinctively, I ran my fingers through her stomach, which was the most bruised part. She only grumbled with her eyes closed and frowning, but she grumbled because apparently it hurt her. Then I realized what I was doing and I scolded myself. After that, I saw how she tried to unbutton her jeans again, failing over again. So then I took her hands to stop her and I unbuttoned her jeans for her. I gently took them off and now I stared at her whole body. Her legs were also bruised and I was feeling really bad. How could someone do this to someone else? This was heartless and merciless. I didn't know what was happening to me, but I was feeling really angry with those bullies but at the same time I was feeling dreary because of her. And I ended up shedding tears in silence for a while, while staring at her half-naked and bruised body. Before dressing her with my clothes, I leaned over to fondle her cheek softly and I saw how she smiled faintly. She smiled despite all the pain she has suffered. How could she keep smiling? How? And I cried even more when she smiled, because it broke my heart and I was feeling weak. I was so broken only because of the fact of knowing how hard she was trying to keep going despite the sorrow; despite she couldn't make it better. When I got to calm myself, I dressed her, I covered her with the quilt again, and I tucked her up. I looked at her face for a long while and I kissed her temple before I stood up to go to my bedroom.
"Don't go." I heard Freckles's voice behind me. I turned around and I saw she was still with her eyes closed.
"I need to get some sleep. You're gonna be fine, I promise." I whispered looking at her; she seemed so harmless and little.
"Don't leave me alone. I don't wanna be alone anymore, enough is enough." She said hugging the pillow. It literally broke my heart. For how long has she been feeling alone? Why?
"You're not alone. I'm here with you." I answered with brittle voice as my eyes filled in tears over again.
"Stay with me, only for tonight. It's been a rough day and I need a little affection, I need to know there's someone at least once. I'm weak and tired, I need you." Freckles mumbled still hugging the pillow and with her eyes closed.
Holy shit, man! Why was I crying like a baby? I just couldn't stop shedding tears and I wasn't that kind of guy who used to cry often. But her words were piercing my heart and my heart just sank when I heard her words. And I couldn't leave her there alone after she told me all of that. She said she needed a little affection at least once and it was devastating. Everybody receives a little affection, but she didn't. So I needed to stay next to her, at least for a few minutes to make her feel I did care about her. I walked to her bed and I slowly lay down next to her.
"Please, hold me." Freckles whispered when she noticed I was now next to her.
And so I did. I wrapped my arms around her and I nuzzled the nape of her neck. I just wanted to hold her tight, I just wanted to be like this all night long, just feeling her warmth. I was feeling a bunch of feelings and I just couldn't leave. For a moment I thought I could get used at this, at lying down next to her. It just felt good, not only because I was laying next to this beautiful girl, but because I knew I was making her feel good. And that was all I wanted, to make her feel good as she deserved. I wanted to make her happy. I wasn't falling for her but I couldn't see her as just my friend either, and I simply couldn't explain it. I decided to stop thinking about that and just enjoy my time with her, just enjoy the fact of being so close to her. Three words wanted to come out of my mouth, but I didn't say anything, I only tried to make her feel that, without words: I love you.
Yes, somehow, I loved her. I didn't know which way. I didn't know if it was a love of friends, a love of family, or even a love of a crush. I didn't know and I didn't want to think about that. I just closed my eyes and I fell asleep, holding her in my arms.
"Thank you, Bobby." I heard Freckles saying in the night.
Who the hell was Bobby?
You were sleeping and you knew you had to wake up but you were feeling just very weak and your head was aching a lot. You just wanted to sleep more...you were sleeping and you were safe. You were feeling warmth and it was a good feeling, you just wanted to keep feeling it. You were dreaming someone was next to you, holding you in arms, but you couldn't see the face of this person. You wanted this to last forever, you didn't want to wake up, and you didn't want to return to the rough reality, to the mean world. You heard voices in the distance, but you knew those voices weren't distant. You suddenly felt how the warmth vanished, you felt alone again, you felt cold; but that someone was still there. You still didn't want to wake up.
"What are you doing here? What are you doing with her and why is she here?" You heard a distant voice.
"I just fell asleep, she wasn't feeling good. It's nothing. What time is it?" You heard a distant voice, but this voice came from next to you.
"It's time to go to school."
"I don't wanna go to school. Let me sleep a little more." The second voice said again.
You felt the warmth again. You felt how this someone wrapped the arms around you. You wanted this someone to remain there next to you; this person was making you feel good, so good. You didn't want to remember the bad things. But nightmares came to happen. You were walking alone in a dark and lugubrious place; there was no one around and the only thing you could hear were screams. You heard a voice in the distance.
"We need to wake up; we need to go to school."
You didn't want it; you didn't want to get back to school, not to that place. You didn't want to see those bullies; you didn't want to receive another threatening text message. You recognized the place; you were in a dark hallway. There was someone at the end of the hallway, waiting for you. You couldn't tell if that person was a girl or a boy, it was distorted, but that person had a phone in the hands. Screams, louder screams. Darkness. A voice talking.
"I'd like to be like this all day long, just like this, only with you."
You wanted the same, but you didn't know who the person who was talking was. You just wanted to feel this comfortable warmth and that peculiar and scented smell. You walked closer to that person standing at the end of the hallway. The person had a sack on the head; the sack had a 'W' written on it. You ran towards that person, you wanted to uncover the face, you wanted to see who this person was, you wanted to know who W was. You were so close and you were about to uncover the face of this person, you were scared. Screams, screams. A voice talking again.
"This is the last warn. Get up, now! You have to go to school and no excuses for you, sir."
"I won't go! I'll stay here, I don't care."
"No, sir, get up!"
"No, leave me alone! No, no! What are you doing?"
The warmth you were feeling next to you vanished. You were completely alone now, there was no one. Alone over again; just as you were meant to be. You wanted to cry but you couldn't, you wanted to open your eyes but you couldn't, and you wanted to be with that someone but you couldn't. You were facing the person with the sack on the head, you took the sack off, you wanted to see the face of this person, but suddenly everything turned dark and blurry. The screams were deafening you. Huge and rough arms took you by your back. Those arms were throttling you, you couldn't breathe. You were dying, you were dying and you couldn't do anything.
"Are you okay? You look pale. Hey, wake up! No, no, no. Hey, you're safe here. Please wake up, you look sick. Mom! Mom!"
Warm arms, those arms saved you. They picked you up, you wanted to wake up but your eyes were so heavy, you were sweating in cold and you felt weak, so weak. You heard a wicked laugh, you recognized that laugh. You knew W, it was a girl, a girl. It couldn't be that person, no; it just couldn't be. But then you heard another wicked laugh, it was a boy. Then you started hearing a lot of wicked laughs, boys and girls. Those laughs were disturbing you, you couldn't see their faces. They were laughing at you, you were on the floor, and they were torturing you. You couldn't stand it any longer.
"I don't know what's wrong with her! She just started sweating in cold and she's pale, she looks sick! What's wrong with her?"
"Calm down, we're gonna do all we can."
"But what's wrong? What's wrong? I need to know! Why wouldn't you let me in? I need to be with her!"
"Please, have a seat. We'll let you in once we get to know what's wrong. Please, calm down."
"Calm down, she's gonna be fine."
"I need to be with her! She needs me!"
"Soon, son. She's gonna be alright."
You felt cold objects on your body. You heard voices talking but you couldn't get what they were saying. You were at some place with a peculiar smell you recognized. No, you didn't want to be there. No, you weren't beaten this time. You wanted them to let you go, you didn't want to be in that place, in that bed, with all that stuff and that smell. No, this wasn't a safe place. You wanted to talk and open your eyes, but you couldn't and it was frustrating. The laughter were in your mind and then you saw him. Brian was in a corner looking at you, but he wasn't laughing, he was just looking at you in a weird way. That couldn't be Brian, that person over there didn't seem malicious, who was that guy? You wanted to walk towards him, but then the huge and rough arms took you by your back again, you couldn't move, they were taking you to the darkness. Injection. Darkness. Slumber. Silence. Weakness. Sleep.
"How was school?"
"It doesn't matter. How is she? Is she gonna get better?"
"Yes, she's going to get better."
"Mom, tell me the truth."
"I'm telling you the truth."
"Has she opened her eyes? Has she said something?"
"No and no."
"Then she's not getting better. Why? Why, mom, why?"
Those voices, you wanted to see them. Your eyes were still heavy but you did your best. You opened them slightly, you saw their faces, and they were there with you. You weren't alone; they were taking care of you. Someone was finally taking care of you. You wanted to thank them, but you couldn't talk. They saw you and walked towards you, they smiled, you tried to smile back, but it was so hard. What was going on with you?
"Hi sweetie. How are you feeling?" A woman with dark hair and with the kindest smile you've ever seen said.
"Freckles! How are you? Oh, Freckles! I was so worried!" A young boy with dark curly hair and hazel eyes said, hugging you. It felt good but it hurt you because you were still weak.
"Darren, slow down. She's still weak." The woman said and the curly haired boy moved away. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"
"Fine. Weak." You whispered with difficulty. "Tha…Thank yo…you."
"Sweetie, do not force yourself to talk." The woman said kindly and caressed your hair.
That woman caressed your hair as sweetly as any mother would do and you just felt so good and thankful because you couldn't remember the last time your mom did it for you. So you couldn't hold back those tears that streamed down your face.
"You're gonna be fine. Promise me." The curly haired boy said worried, looking deeply into your eyes, holding your hand.
"Promise." You managed to articulate and smile.
You barely had strength to keep talking and to keep your eyes open. You were feeling really tired and you wanted to sleep again. Why were you feeling like this? But at the same time you didn't want to sleep, you wanted to see their faces and keep that memory with you, a memory that someone was worried because of your well-being.
"Sleep, sweetie, you need to rest. We're gonna be here until your father arrives and takes you home. He's on his way." The woman said smiling warmly.
"No, no. Please, no." You said kinda terrified and feeling weary.
You didn't want your father to come, you didn't want to go with him, and you wanted to remain there with them who really cared about you. You didn't want to hear your father scolding you; you didn't want to be home alone as always. The woman and the curly haired boy were looking at you confused and you were too weak to explain them something. You were falling asleep again. Everything was dark again and Brian was grabbing your arm, he was trying to keep you away from those huge and rough arms that were holding you. Was he W? Who was the bad one here? Brian or the arms? You needed to run away from everything, you needed to go your own way, but you simply couldn't and it was maddening. Someone appeared, someone you knew. You knew you were going to be safe with that someone but you couldn't see who that person was. But they took that person away, that person screamed. They were hurting that person and you needed to help that person, you wanted to keep that person safe, but it was something out of control for you. You screamed out loud but no one heard. Dispute, you heard a dispute in the distance. You wanted to stop it, but you couldn't talk.
"I want you away from my daughter!" You heard your father's voice yelling.
"Excuse me, sir? Why?" You heard the curly haired boy's voice asking confused.
"Nowadays kids pretend not to know anything about the gross errors they make." Your father said madly.
"I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I did nothing bad." The curly haired boy said, still bewildered.
"Excuse my interference, sir. But I was all the time with my son and I can safely say he hasn't done anything wrong. Your daughter just started to feel sick in the morning and we quickly took her here." The woman said politely.
"In the first place, why was my daughter sleeping in the same house as your atrocious and depraved son?"
"Excuse me, sir? Atrocious and depraved?" The curly haired boy asked in disbelief.
"Excuse me, sir. I don't want to disrespect you, but I won't let you call my son that way." The woman said still politely but firmly and strict. "I know my son better than anyone and I know he can make mistakes sometimes as any teen his age, but he's far from being atrocious and depraved."
"Oh, for real? I think you should stay near your son whenever he's away home. You'll find out what kind of son you have." Your father said viciously.
"I won't allow you to meddle in my child's upbringing and integrity." The woman said firmly.
"That boy has no dignity, and I want him away from my daughter from now on. I don't want my daughter to be a scoundrel and miscreant like your son."
"I'm none of that." The curly haired boy said now angry.
"Then, boy, explain me why last night I found this bottle of liquor in my house with this note." Your father requested furious. There was a pause and everything was silent for a while. "Read it out loud, let your mother know what kind of boy you are."
"Hey there hot stuff, look what I've found. Wanna have fun and get wild like a boss? Drink it all and meet me, you know where. Let's have a good damn fuck. I want to make you scream in pleasure and I want you to swallow my cum, baby. I want to fuck you so bad. Meet me after drinking, sexy little slut." The curly haired boy read kinda scared. "I didn't write this, this wasn't me!"
"Sure not, but your name is on it." Your father said fiercely.
"Darren, is that true?" The woman asked in disbelief.
"No, mom! Mom, I didn't write this! I don't even know where she lives! Mom, please, this wasn't me!" The boy said exasperated and nervous.
"I believe in my son." The woman said firmly.
"Mrs. Criss, if you don't believe in the atrocities that your son has committed, then you should take a look at the picture that someone called W sent me. Look." Your father said furious and then there was a pause again. "This is your son, right? And he's with my daughter. Can you explain me what he is doing on top of her while my daughter seems to be almost unconscious?"
"What is this, Darren?" The woman asked severely and bewildered.
"It's not what it seems. No, it's not what it seems! Mom, please! I didn't write that gross thing! I wasn't doing anything, I wasn't trying to...to...you know! I wasn't trying to sleep with her! Mom, trust me!" Darren exclaimed afraid with trembling voice.
"Then what's this? What were you doing in that place that late at night, and in this position? Darren, explain me this." Darren's mother demanded strictly.
"We were...we were just talking. We go there to talk. And... I just... No, it's not what it seems! I wasn't...mom..." Darren answered nervous and distressed.
"You tried to rape my daughter, kid." Your father said wrathful.
"I never tried to do such a thing, sir!" Darren yelled in a rage. "This is an ambush by W! Fuck this shit! Fuck this!"
"Darren!" Darren's mother yelled, scolding him.
"I'm sick of this! I'm sick! She's my friend, only my friend! I never attempted to do something bad to her and I'd never do it! I love her!" Darren exclaimed exasperated.
He said those words and your heart skipped a beat. He said he loved you and you wanted to hug him, it was the most wonderful thing you heard. You tried to stop this dispute, you wanted to clear this up, you wanted to defend and protect Darren. W was pushing the envelope. W was messing with everybody, now including your father. But you couldn't do anything because of the medication. You were feeling very frustrated and distressed because of the way your father was treating Darren, one of the few people who really cared about you. This wasn't fair.
"She was your friend. Now I don't want to see you fooling around her. Did you get it, kid? This is the last time you're seeing her." Your father said coldly.
"Sorry, but I won't walk away from her. I'll stand by her and you, sir, deal with it." Darren said now defiant.
"Oh no, kid. If you dare to be near her, I'll sue you. You're warned, so watch your actions." Your father said rudely.
"Do the fuck you want. I won't stand off her life. No one is gonna keep me away from her and nothing's ever gonna take us down." Darren said defiantly and firmly.
"Stop it, Darren." Darren's mother requested serious.
"I won't fucking stop because I won't do all the shit this man over here wants! She's my friend and I'll keep being her friend no matter what! So, fuck off, sir!" Darren yelled rabidly.
"It was enough, Everett!" Darren's mother yelled severely. "We're going home. Now."
"I won't go anywhere! I'll stay here and if that man wants to call the police, well then, he better does it because I'm not moving my ass from here." Darren yelled again.
"What's going on here?" Another voice asked. "This is a hospital."
"Sorry, doctor. We're going now." Darren's mother said politely.
"No, no, no! Leave me, mom! I won't go, I won't go!" Darren yelled making a tantrum and clinging to the edge of the bed.
"Stop acting as if you were five, Everett!"
"Get out of here, kid! You're not seeing my daughter anymore." Your father said rabid.
"Freckles, can you hear me? I won't leave you alone. It doesn't matter what the world wants for us, I won't walk away from you. I love you, and no one is gonna beat us down."
Those were the last words of Darren before he was forced to leave the hospital room. His words made you feel as if nothing was too bad because, no matter what, he was going to be there. You wondered what picture W sent to your father and why Darren was on top of you. You couldn't remember anything from last night, everything was blurry and you had missing pieces of the events, so the whole thing was a huge nonsensical event. You remembered to have received that bottle of liquor from W, you remembered you drank it and you were feeling really dizzy and everything was funnier than normal, you couldn't walk in straight line and you couldn't focus your sight, everything was slower and blurry. You remembered you met Darren that night and you talked to him, but you couldn't remember anything of what you talked about. You remembered you asked Darren how it felt to be in love because you were very susceptible after W threatened you by telling Darren your real feelings for him. From that moment, there was a bump in your memory. The last thing you remembered was having that nightmare and hearing those voices. Now not even in your dreams you were safe and it was horrifying. Darren and Jen were the only hope you had, but now your father took them away from you thanks to W. The same person kept screaming but the screams were more distant as time passed by. There was a hole between that person and you, you couldn't jump it because the same arms kept holding you and the hole was getting bigger and bigger. You needed to be with that person, it was the only place where you could see the light, only with that person. So you defeated the arms with all your strength and you jumped the hole, but that person who was your only salvation was already gone and you just fell into the bottomless hole.
I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine and I slightly opened my eyes to realize I was sleeping in the guest room, holding Freckles in my arms. This wasn't right, but it was feeling nice, so I just closed my eyes again and I fell asleep over again, moving closer to her. I didn't want to wake up, I just wanted to lie next to her all day long. I didn't care about these new feelings I had now, I didn't want to think about that, I only wanted to enjoy this moment because I honestly didn't know when it would happen again. But minutes later I heard my mom's voice waking me up and questioning me why I was there with her and other shit that I couldn't get because I only wanted to sleep. My answer was only to hold her tighter to feel the warmth of her body. But my mom was being so annoying and she had no better idea than pulling me out of bed. Damn! I was feeling so warm next to Freckles and now I was so cold! I attempted to go back to bed, but my mom took me by the arm and pulled me out of the bedroom.
"What, mom? Ugh! I just want to sleep, you're being so annoying!" I complained, still with sleepy eyes and yawning.
"Darren, you have to go to school. And what's your friend doing here?" My mom asked severely. Damn, I didn't want to think about an answer.
"She wasn't feeling good and well...why does it matter? Jen always sleeps here and you don't question me annoying things." I grumbled while I was messing my hair.
"Yes, but this time you were sleeping with this girl." My mom said severely as any other mother would do. That was irritating this early in the morning.
"And what about it, mom? Jeez! I slept with Jen in the same bed thousands of times!" I grumbled again, getting annoyed.
"Yes, but it took years until you slept with her in the same bed. What's in your mind, Everett? I won't allow it in this house." My mom scolded me.
"Ugh! You're annoying, mother! Annoying!" I protested irritated.
"Watch your words, little boy!" My mother said severely.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm gonna wake her up. If you let me and if it doesn't annoy you! Because at this point I think everything annoys you!" I exclaimed still complaining and now walking to the guest room.
When I walked to Freckles, I noticed she was doing something that scared the crap out of me. She was shifting in bed and she was sweating in cold, very pale. She really looked sick and I couldn't wake her up, she wasn't listening. So then I called my mom in desperation and we took her to the hospital. At first, the doctors didn't tell us a damn shit and we had to wait for about an hour until we got a lame answer.
"Are any of you a relative of the patient?" The doctor asked and I was so exasperated. How could he be so relaxed?
"No, doctor. She's friends with my son and she was at my house when she started to feel like this. We don't have any contact with her relatives." My mom answered politely while I was so strained.
"I'm so sorry, but I can't tell the medical condition of the patient to a person who isn't her relative." The doctor said in terms of professionalism and I wanted to punch his face. I needed to know what was wrong with Freckles.
"For fuck's sake! I need to know how she is! She's my friend, goddammit!" I exclaimed in anger and desperation. My mom looked at me severely while the doctor looked at me stunned, raising his eyebrows.
"Everett." It was the only thing that my mom had to say to shut me up. "Sorry, doctor. We're really worried and we don't know how to contact any of her relatives. Could you just tell us what's wrong with her, so my son can go to school?"
"In short, the patient has had a strong decomposition produced by the consumption of alcohol and a peak arterial pressure caused by an emotional plea, particularly stress." The doctor finally answered.
"But is she gonna get better, doctor?" My mom asked kinda worried. Damn W. I knew this was W's fault.
"Yes. With the correct medication and rest, she's going to be able to return to her normal activities tomorrow." The doctor said and I felt more relaxed.
"Thank you, doctor. And right now, what is going to happen with her?" My mom asked again politely.
"We need to contact her relatives, so they can take her home." The doctor answered.
"Could I stay with her until any of her relatives arrive?" My mom asked again politely and I loved her for asking that.
"No, that's not possible, madam." The doctor responded again in terms of professionalism.
"But she can't stay alone, doctor. And as I said, she was at my house when she got sick and surely any of her relatives would want an explanation." My mom said persuasively.
"Alright. I think this time we can make an exception." The doctor agreed.
"Thank you a lot, doctor." My mom thanked with a kind grin.
Of course the first thing I did was to attempt to walk to Freckles's room, but my mom stopped me.
"Darren, you need to go to school. Then you can come back to see how she's doing." My mom said looking at me severely.
"But mom!" I complained.
"No buts. I'll take care of her. Then you can return here. You heard the doctor; she's going to be fine." My mom said again.
"Fine, fine." I grumbled. "Please, take care of her."
"Will do." My mom said smiling and it made me feel better.
Yes, I had the best mom in the universe. No matter how annoying and severe she could be sometimes; she was the best person ever, very caring and kind to everybody, she had a heart of gold, she really had her heart in the right place and I wouldn't change my mom for anything in the world. But, how was I supposed to go to school and pay attention after all the things that happened lately? I already missed my first class, so I needed to find Jen; I needed to talk to her. And there I saw her, alone, walking to her next class.
"Jenny!" I yelled and she turned to look at me.
"Darren! Why have you missed your first class?" Jen started asking curious but when I got closer, she looked at me worried. "Darren, you're pale. Dar, is everything okay?"
"No, not at all." I answered in all honesty. "Jen, can we skip this class? I really need to talk to you about a lot of things. A lot."
"But Dar, we need to..."
"Please, Jen. I beg you." I said with trembling voice looking deeply into her eyes.
"Okay, fine. Let's go outside." Jen agreed.
We walked away from school in silence because we thought it would be the best. We arrived to an empty place and we sat on the grass. At first I didn't know where to start, I didn't know what I should tell Jen and what not. But then I decided to tell her everything, she deserved to know and I really needed to talk to someone about all that happened. I started telling her when I went to the coffee bar and I told her my entire conversation with Mandy, that I got a date with her and I was excited but not as excited as I thought I'd be. Then I told her about my meeting with Freckles in Marin Headlands, I told her she was drunk and it was because of W, I told her all that Freckles told me that night, what she asked me and what I answered. And I told Jen that I kissed Freckles and I felt good and weird. I told her that I couldn't understand a damn shit of what was happening to me, I told her how I really felt, I told her that I liked the kiss but I wanted to be only her friend. I told Jen that I took her to my home because she couldn't wake up, I told Jen that I stayed with Freckles in her bed that night and I didn't want to wake up, that I wanted to keep holding her in my arms, I told her about all the bruises that Freckles had on her body. I told Jen that I loved Freckles but I couldn't tell what kind of love it was, because I wanted to be only her friend but whenever I was with her I acted like a real idiot and then I regretted. And then I told Jen the real reason why I missed my first class, because Freckles was sick and we took her to the hospital. Summing up, I told Jen absolutely everything. When I finished talking, Jen was looking at me completely astonished and bewildered by the bunch of new information. She seemed to be speechless and it was normal after all the private things I told her, because this time I didn't lie to her.
"Holy crap, Darren." It was the only thing Jen could articulate.
"I know, I know. It's a mess." I replied while looking down and feeling more insecure than ever.
"Yes, it is." Jen said now looking at her lap, trying to understand everything I told her. "So, you have a date with this hot girl you like since last year and you aren't happy for that."
"No, it's not like that. Of course I'm happy because of that and I'm excited. But... Just... It's not like before. I thought I was going to die if she agreed to hang out with me, but it wasn't like that. I didn't die; here I am, alive and kicking." I said shrugging and feeling bad for that, because, after all, it was what I always wanted.
"Yes, I get it. You want it but you're not so excited. And on the other hand, we have Freckles." Jen said still looking at her lap and trying to understand.
"Yeah..." I said looking away and frowning because I didn't want to feel like this.
"She kissed you because she was drunk. And you kissed her back and you liked it. Does she remember that you have kissed?" Jen asked now looking at me.
"I don't know. I couldn't talk to her." I answered feeling ashamed now; it was uncomfortable to talk about this. "But she mentioned a Bobby guy when I was with her. She thought I was this Bobby guy."
"So, she didn't want to kiss you, she wanted to kiss this Bobby guy? Who's Bobby?" Jen asked curious.
"I have no idea, Jen." I answered kind of annoyed.
"Are you jealous of that?"
"What? No! Not at all!" I answered shortly but she looked at me fixedly, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe a little. Jen, I don't know why I'm feeling like this! I don't want this!"
"And you told me you love her. Is that right?"
"Yes, Jen, yes. But I don't know! Maybe I love her like my sister, I don't know."
"Would you kiss her again if you had the chance?"
"No. But as I told you, this is what I say but not what I do when I'm with her."
"If you had to choose between Mandy and Freckles, who would you choose?"
"I..." I started answered but then I took my time to think about the answer. I was really confused and I didn't know why. Damn, this couldn't be happening. "I don't know. It's different." I finally answered looking at Jen distressed and she was still staring me fixedly. "I'm screwed, right?"
"Kind of." Jen answered. "You really need to think what you want, Darren."
"But Jen! I don't know what I want! I just don't know!" I exclaimed in despair.
"I know, Dar. I'm not scolding you, I just want to warn you, because if you don't clear up what you really want and feel, you could end up hurting someone." Jen said placing a hand above mine.
"I never wanted this to happen." I said looking at my lap anguished. "Jen, I don't know what to do, I don't know what the right thing is."
"You'll figure it out with time. Welcome to the silly and complicated life of being in love." Jen smiled trying to cheer me up and I giggled softly. It was so accurate.
"Screw this shit, I want to be a Power Ranger." I joked trying to feel better.
I spent the next hours with Jen, and of course we missed all the classes, but we really needed to catch up. Jen told me that she kept receiving threatening text messages from W, always trying to make her feel guilty about her brother's death and telling her that Freckles would end up as him if she kept helping her. That was the worst thing that someone could say to Jen, there was no way that someone could joke about this, threaten about this. Oddly enough, I didn't receive any text message from W and I didn't realize it until that moment. But right when I thought about it, my phone buzzed.
"I know what you did last night, Criss. -W-"
That was it all. I received worse text messages from W, but this one made me feel really afraid. What did W know and what not? Could W know that I was with Freckles and I kissed her? No, that was impossible because no one knew about that place. But then I started to think that W sent Freckles a bottle of liquor and W found her house. Maybe W followed Freckles, as she suspected last night and I didn't believe her. Damn.
"I never thought you could abuse a drunken bitch. What would your momma think about this, Criss? You're not following the rules. Wait till I get back it to you. -W-"
I showed Jen what W sent me and, even though Jen tried to calm me down by telling me that nothing bad would happen because W was saying it only because this person was annoyed and afraid, I couldn't calm. I knew with what W threatened me last time, and I knew there was where W was going to attack. How could I be calm if I knew W was going to try to hurt my mom?
"Jen, I'm going to the hospital, to see how Freckles is doing." I said still thinking of those text messages.
"Okay Dar. I have to go out with my parents now, you know, it's Friday." Jen said standing up. "Please, let me know how she is."
"Will do, Jenny. See you later." I said hugging her. "And thanks, for listening to me and all."
"Oh, please! Since when are you so sappy?" Jen giggled still hugging me back.
"Since yesterday I ate an extra dose of sugar." I joked.
"See? That's the Darren I know." Jen laughed and I giggled softly. "Take care, Dar."
When I arrived to hospital, my mom was still there and she told me that Freckles haven't woken up and it made me feel worried again. Why wasn't she waking up? But then she opened her eyes and the first thing I could do was to hug her tightly because...because it was Freckles and she was fine. It was what I needed most in that moment, to see she was getting better; it was what I needed to forget about the threatening messages from W. But then she closed her eyes again, after making a worried and scared face when my mom mentioned her dad was coming for her.
"Mom. Have you seen her face when you mentioned her father?" I asked intrigued. I needed to talk about this to someone and my mom was always the ideal person to talk to whenever I needed.
"Yes, son. Maybe she was still confused because of the medicine." My mom answered, sitting on a chair next to her bed.
She was avoiding my look. She was used to do it only when she didn't want to talk about something because she was thinking something bad and she didn't like to be pessimistic. I wanted to know what she was thinking.
"Mom, she seemed to be freaking out. Why do you think she got scared when you mentioned her dad?" I asked curious again, insistent.
"I don't know, Darren. Maybe she was confused for the medicine, as I already said." My mom replied, looking at Freckles.
"She never mentioned her father; she only told me she doesn't have a good relationship with her family. What if her dad treats her in a bad way, mom? What if her father is an asshole with her?" I asked out loud and I knew I shouldn't have asked it, because now my mom was looking at me displeased.
"Darren, how can you think that way? All parents love their children. Stop making up things in your mind." My mom answered persuasive, but now I couldn't stop thinking in that possibility.
"I don't know, mom. She doesn't have the best life that a human being can have. She's suffered a lot..." I said thoughtful, looking at Freckles sleeping quietly.
"Why do you say it, son?" My mom suddenly asked curious.
"No reason." I lied shrugging.
I never told my mom all that Freckles had to go through in this year and all she's suffered since she started high school. I never told my mom all that Freckles told me that night when we plotted our plan, almost all the things of her life, her deepest secrets. And I didn't want to tell my mom all of that because then I'd have to explain her the whole situation with W and I didn't want to worry her. Because my mom was that kind of person, she really cared a lot about the welfare of others. While I was thinking about all of this, someone entered the room. It was a tall man who was wearing a refined suit, with a really solemn and commanding presence. He had the same hair and nose than Freckles, but his lips and eyes were different from hers. He was really serious and he seemed to be a rigorous man. I had to admit he was kinda scary. He first looked at Freckles and then to my mom. Then he looked at me in a way that scared the shit out of me. Why was that man looking at me that way?
"Hello, I'm Cerina Criss. You must be her father." My mom greeted that man politely.
"Hello, Ms. Criss. I'm Robert. That kid over there must be your son." He said rigorously looking at me.
"Certainly, sir. His name's Darren; he's your daughter's friend." My mom answered with a polite smile.
"So, Darren, eh?" The man said looking at me with anger. Anger? Why?
"Yes, sir." I answered shyly because his presence was making me feel uncomfortable.
"I finally got to know who Darren is." The man said coldly and furiously. What was wrong with him and why did he say that? "I want you away from my daughter!" He suddenly yelled in anger looking at me.
"Excuse me, sir? Why?" I asked completely confused and bewildered.
The fuck was wrong with that man? What happened next gave me goosebumps. I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle and the blood froze in my veins when her father gave me a note to read and showed me a picture of myself with Freckles, right when I was kissing her in Marin Headlands. I couldn't believe it, this time W attacked fiercely. In chess, this would be called check. It wasn't enough with me, Freckles and Jen; W had to involve Freckles's father and that was the perfect movement for W. If W wanted to separate us, that person was getting it. Now her father didn't allow me to see Freckles because of something I haven't done, but W played it so well that now I seemed to be the guilty one and I had no proof to show the opposite. Not only her father was thinking that I tried to abuse his daughter, but also my mom was starting to mistrust me. W was putting everyone against us, even our own family, everything to achieve the goal that W had. I didn't know how to prove them that this was a huge ambush; it seemed that I had no way out for this. But no one would force me to walk away from Freckles; no, W wouldn't beat us, not so easily. So I argued with her father and it was getting harsh. My mom, of course, scolded me, she seemed very angry and disappointed in me; and I couldn't make them see that this wasn't what it seemed. It was infuriating. But the doctor finally kicked me and my mom out.
"What was that, Everett?" My mom asked me once we were in the car.
"I don't wanna talk about that, mom." I answered feeling angry, scared and anguished. Then I looked into my mom's eyes beseechingly. "Mom, you have to believe me. I didn't do any of what that man said."
"I don't know what to think, Everett." My mom answered avoiding my gaze. Shit, she sounded so very disappointed in me.
"Mom, please." I begged with teary voice.
The fact of knowing that W got to put my mom against me killed me. It was my mom, and my own mom couldn't believe me, because this stupid W played it so well. My mom was the person I loved most and now she couldn't trust me. This bullying thing that started in school was going so far, and this 'game', as W called it, was getting very nefarious and sinister.
"Mom, please. You know me; you know I can't do such a thing. Mom, you've raised me, so you know what kind of person I am. I haven't done it." I said still with teary voice because of my anguish.
"Sometimes I wonder if this is the person I've raised. Sometimes I don't recognize you, Darren." My mom said letdown with a hint of sadness.
I felt how my heart broke into million pieces when I heard my mom saying that. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. This was the most hurtful thing that could have happened to me. My own mother didn't know who I was, but the most hurtful was that I disappointed her, something that I never wanted. And all of this because of an ambush by W. When I arrived home, the only thing I could do was to lock myself in my bedroom and cry my heart out. I couldn't hold this; I couldn't stand this any longer. W was destroying what I loved the most in this world and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And that was when my phone buzzed.
"How does it feel to be hated by your own mother, Criss? I warned you not to mess, but you didn't listen. Now confront the consequences. My game, my rules, Criss. - W-"
"Screw you!" I yelled in anger while still crying in my silent and empty bedroom.
"Wanna keep your momma alive, Criss? Follow my rules: Do not talk to the little whore again. If I see you around her, your momma is gonna be the next victim. Remember, I know what she does every Sunday morning. -W-"
W sent me a picture with that text message. It was a picture of my mom in the supermarket and the picture was taken in a certain distance that my mother couldn't notice it. This was scaring me a lot and the worst was that I didn't know what to do to stop this.
"You've chosen this, Criss. You used to be moderately popular, but you've chosen the losers side. Then you, your friends and your family deserve all that a loser deserves: misery. Enjoy the game as long as you can, geek. -W-"
This was too much. What once I saw like a game in which we could win, now was a game with no way out, a lost game. If I couldn't feel secure and positive myself, how could I make Jen and Freckles feel that we had at least a little hope?
To Jen: Jen, I beg you, I need to see you. I can't do this anymore; I need you, Jen. Come over here, please.
That was what I texted to Jen in my desperation. I needed her a lot because I was broken and she was the only person with who I could talk to. I felt how everything around me was falling apart and I was there, helpless.