Chapter eight – port
Kate ran over to were Mike and the children were standing, the kids couldn't wait to see their mother, it had only been a week and they missed her terribly.
"Kate!" Mike said running over to her.
"Mike!" Kate shouted back giving Mike a hug and then turning to the kids.
"Mummy missed you," She said to them.
Kate bent down and hugged all of them.
"Kate, Becca is fine now, but I think she wants to see you," Mike added causing Kate to stand up.
"Okay, I will go see her after this," Kate said.
"I really hate it when you have that feeling, I was pulling my hair out thinking it was you on the ship that was going to be in trouble, I had to stay calm but I really thought it was you," Mike said.
"No, it just didn't feel like something was going to go wrong on the ship but more closer to home. How did you find out it was Becca? Was everything okay?" Kate asked.
"Well I rang her after you emailed me, but she didn't answer so I went on a trip with the kids and called and there was no answer, so I looked through the letter box and she was on the floor unconscious, so I called an ambulance and then broke the door down and then called Nikki to see if she would mind the kids, which she didn't mind and then I went to the hospital," Mike said recalling all the events.
"Bloody hell, it has been a busy day. Is Nikki okay?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, she was okay, she was brilliant with all the kids, I don't know how she managed with the four of them but she was fine. But I really think you should go and see Becca now, she was asking for you," Mike added.
"I am going, but I think she would want to see her fiancé first," Kate smiled.
"Fiancé?" Mike queried.
"Yeah, Spider proposed to her the day he came on to Hammersley, I have had a whole five hours trying to calm him down. He was hysterical, he really does love her," Kate smiled again.
"Aww, it really is a love boat, isn't it, Nikki and Josh, me and you, now Becca and Spider," Mike laughed.
"It really is, there isn't any girls left to get together with," Kate laughed.
"Want to bet? I have just assigned a gap year recruit on to the Hammersley," Mike laughed.
"Oh don't say that, that is the last thing she'd ever want to do, especially with 2Dads on the Hammersley, him and his practical jokes, she'll never want to come back on the ship," Kate laughed.
"Oh it isn't too bad," Mike added.
"Well, anyways I better get to the hospital to see how Becca is, are you okay taking them lot home? I will be home as soon as I can get away," Kate smiled.
"If I managed for a week without you I am sure I can manage a few more hours," Mike added.
So with that Kate said her goodbyes to her husband and her three kids and then made her way down to the hospital.
Kate felt like she had spent more time in this hospital than she had at home, she was even on first name terms with the staff.
It was only a ten minute or so walk to the hospital and when Kate got there she walked straight to the room that Becca was in, she knew exactly where it was due to Mike telling her where it was.
She walked into the room and was faced with Becca in a hospital bed and Spider sat on the chair next to her.
"Becca, how are you feeling now?" Kate asked when she walked in.
"Oh Kate, I can't believe it, I was so excited and this is all my fault, I can't believe I've lost it," Becca said with tears slowly running down her cheeks.
"Becca, I told you this wasn't your fault," Spider added.
"Rebecca!" Kate said more sternly. "This is not your fault so will you pack it in," Kate said sitting on the bed.
"It is Kate, I wouldn't have lost it, it's me, my body is telling me that I shouldn't be pregnant, that I shouldn't be a mother," Becca said with tears running freely down her face.
"Becca, I am going to tell you what I have told Spider today, but no one else. When I first got together with Mike, I had a miscarriage and I was like how you are now, I never told anyone and I thought it was my fault. But I know now that it wasn't, so Becca stop worrying, it is fairly common that you miscarry the first. So please stop blaming yourself," Kate said hugging Becca.
"I had no idea that you had miscarried," Becca said.
"No, no one did till I told Spider this afternoon and now you," Kate smiled.
"Thank you Kate for sharing that Kate, it has put my mind at ease a bit," Becca said smiling a bit more.
"So when are you allowed out?" Kate asked.
"I think I would have been allowed out today but the fact that I fell unconscious they are keeping me in for observation," Becca told Kate.
"Well it's better to be watched in here, knowing nothing can go wrong than be at home, even though I know you probably prefer to be in your own bed," Kate laughed.
"Definitely, but least you got to come back from patrol early," Becca laughed.
"See that is the spirit," Kate smiled.
"And least you don't have to cover for me anymore, I'll be back on the Hammersley next time it sails," Becca added.
Now Spider jumped into the conversation.
"Are you sure you are ready to go back?" He asked.
"Look, I have to go back some time, keep my mind busy and all, it is the best thing I can do," Becca reassured Spider.
"She is right Spider, it would only put her mind at rest if you actually get back on with life as it was before," Kate added.
Spider saw exactly where Kate and Becca were coming from and understand why she wanted to go back.
"Right, okay, I shall let you two talk, and I will catch up with you tomorrow or some time, but if you want anything, just give me a ring you know where you can find me," Kate said.
"Thanks Kate, thanks for the last week and covering me and thanks for today, and your secret is safe with me, it stays between these four walls," Becca said.
"Look, it was good going back on the Hammersley, I actually enjoyed it, but with my secret, I think you have given me the courage to tell Mike, I think he should know to be honest, it was his child after all," Kate said.
"Well chick, I think that would be a good idea, it does deserve to know, and I understand that it is going to be difficult to tell me, but Mike is Mike, he will understand," Becca smiled.
"Thanks Hun," Kate said giving Becca and Spider and hug.
Kate said her goodbyes and left the two of them in peace to talk about everything. Kate was sure there was a lot to talk about.
She didn't want to tell Mike about her miscarriage, but she knew she had too, it was out now and nothing stays a secret for long when one person knows never mind two. Things don't have a habit of staying a secret for long.
Kate grabbed a waiting taxi that was out at the front and sat in silence the whole thirty minutes until she was home. It was now six o'clock and was hungry. She hadn't eaten since breakfast this morning on Hammersley and she really didn't fancy starting to cook right now, so she hoped Mike would want a takeout of something. Something easy.
She walked into the house and saw that all the kids were asleep, something she loved to see.
"Mike?" Kate said quiet enough not to wake the kids up but loud enough for Mike to hear.
"Yeah Kate, I'm in the kitchen," Mike answered.
Something smelt really nice.
Mike was in the kitchen cooking which was a rare sight.
"Mhmm, that smells gorgeous," Kate said.
"Well, it's just like you, gorgeous. Now why don't you get a bath and relax whilst I finish making tea," Mike said looking Kate deep into her eyes.
"I think I will just do that, thanks Mike, you really are a little star," Kate said.
"Anything for you my little princess," Mike smiled.
"I have something to talk to you about later, but it can wait till that, till later, so I am going for my bath and I will see you in a little while," Kate said.
Mike was now a little concerned now that Kate had just said that but he could wait, if Kate said she was going to tell him something, she would do.
About half an hour later, Kate returned from the shower just as Mike had served the tea and put it on the table, but he had also carried the children to bed so it was just Kate and Mike now.
"Mike this is lovely, thanks for cooking, I didn't fancy cooking after today," Kate said.
"It's no trouble, I don't mind every now and then, I can cook, I managed it for the last week without you," Mike laughed.
"And there was me thinking you wouldn't be able to cope and living off takeaways all the time," Kate laughed.
"I'm not that bad Kate. Right anyways what is there you wanted to tell me," Mike said being serious.
"Okay, you promise not to shout, I have my reasons for not telling you at the time," Kate said.
Mike was very curious and very nervous, Kate couldn't have had an affair she loved him didn't she, she loved the kids. That was all Mike could think about right now.
"I promise Kate, you are making me nervous now," Mike said.
"Okay, right, Erm... well a few years ago now when we first started going out, after I got shot, I found out I was pregnant, I was delighted with it. I was going to tell you as a surprise the next time we had shore leave. We hadn't even told anyone we were going out so I thought it was best to keep it a secret. I start slacking in my duties, giving Buffer more duties in the boarding parties. A week after I found out, and I week before we were due back in port, I lost the baby. I was devastated. I blamed myself, and that if I told you I feared you would blame me too. So I didn't want to tell you, so I put it to the back of my mind and it all came up today with Becca losing the baby. I didn't know what to say to you, but I thought it was best to tell you now. I hope you aren't angry at me," Rachel said.
"Oh Kate come here, course I wouldn't be angry at you. I just wish you would have told me at the time, I could have helped you overcome it. Oh Kate, I love you more than anything and of course this wasn't your fault, like today it wasn't Becca's fault. So please, next time I hope you can talk to me about it, I will always be here for you, so never doubt I wouldn't. I love you so much and losing a baby is a big thing, and dealing with that on your own would have been so difficult, so please don't feel you can't come and talk to me about those things, and I hope you don't blame yourself for that," Mike said.
"I blamed myself every day for what happened, but it has only occurred to me today when talking Spider and Becca down that actually it wasn't my fault. I had been feeling guilty all this time and it was really Spider and telling this story today that made me think it wasn't me, it was life. It wasn't the fact that it wasn't supposed to be a mother, because look at our three beautiful children, it was the fact that it was nature taking its course," Kate added.
Mike walked over and held Kate as she cried.
"Kate, from now on everything is going to be just right, I promise you. No more secrets, okay?" Mike said.
"No more secrets," Kate repeated.
They didn't feel like eating anymore, none of them were hungry they decided to just go to bed instead.
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