Chapter 11

Dear readers, I am so sorry for waiting so long to update. I just got writers block or something, and along with that a lot of other ideas for stories, that are with a whole different storyline and characters. So here is my new chapter for this story, sorry that it's not as long as usual, I hope you are still following it and liking it, and I am still interested in reviews of course. Next chapter will finally hold some love between Alice and Bella. Thanks so much for reading!

X IertjeAshfan

APOV

Edward is standing outside the house, waiting for me, eyes black as coals. And this time I can't even be upset with him, since I totally deserve it. I hope he won't make it too bad for me. I hope he doesn't know the real reason why Bella isn't here with me.

Damn..

"Alice!" Edward doesn't even wait for me to get out of the car. He's next to the door of the car in the blink of an eye and opens it with anger.

"Where is Bella? What have you done to her, I swear if you have hurt her..!"

I quickly slide out of the other side of the car and stay in control of my temper. It's not even all my fault. It is Bella's choice after all, and I even tried to do the right thing and make her think that I don't want her at all. I told her to realize that what she and Edward have is special, even though I already know it's going to end, probably soon. Maybe that part is my fault..

"Edward, it is not my fault that she's not here right now. She asked me to take her home, and I did. Did you want me to force her to come here?"

Edward knows there's something more going on. Of course he must suspect something more because I've been blocking my mind and visions ever since these feelings started to creep into my system.

"Alice, this is no time for lies, no time for your cheerfulness! Tell me the truth, now! I have a right to know what is going on with my Bella!"

She is not your Bella any more, Edward! She is mine, and I can't believe I told her to stay with you, you ass hole. It's your own fucking fault.

"Edward, let us go inside and talk about it. Bella is fine and there is not much to worry about." I try to make the situation sound less bad, but inside I know this is the worst case happening right now, and if I had a heartbeat I'm sure it would betray me in this moment.

"No, I don't need to go inside. I'll go and find Bella myself and talk to her, if you don't mind. She will tell me the truth, I'm sure."

Panic shoots through my body and I grab Edwards wrists before he can run off. I fear of what she'll say to him, if he even finds her..

"Alice! God damn it, what are you hiding. You're not so good at blocking thoughts when you're in panic!"

I give myself a mental slap and realize I just forgot to block these ones out as well.

"Edward, let's go inside, now."

"No, you can tell me right here, or let me go and I'll find out from Bella myself!"

"You won't find her.." I say, panic clearly in my voice. Edward is much faster than I am, and without a doubt he will find her sooner than I can. This is unfair.

Seeing no way out I blur out the first thing that comes to my mind.

"She's not yours any more. She hasn't been for a long time, and I know it for sure."

Edward looks at me, bewildered and shocked.

"What are you talking about, Alice.. tell me now."

"She doesn't love you the way she loves.." I whisper and his eyes turn black in an instant.

"Alice, you are insane! Bella doesn't love you! She might like you for being such a nice sister, even though I start to doubt that now, but what you are saying is impossible!" His words sound harsh but there's a little doubt hiding in it.

"Bella is mine, accept it and tell me where she is!" he shouts at me and my anger is starting to show itself.

Where is Jasper when you need mood control?

"No, she is not! She wants me, she loves me!" I scream back at him. "I have seen it, in many visions, and I'm always right! You can't prove me wrong since I've seen Bella in my visions, writing me that she couldn't stay with us any more, because she did not love you the same as before. She loves me!" I think about my visions and he reads all of it. His face shows only hate and betrayal.

"Alice, you are making this up! You did something to make her leave me and you are going to pay for it!"

Edward is before me in a second and his fingers are wrapped tightly around my neck. I never needed to breathe anyway, but it's not very comfortable.

"Edward, she won't change her mind, and you killing me will not change things either.." I try to say, finding it hard to speak while being choked. His fingers loosen en I take advantage of the moment. I turn things around and clamp my legs around his middle on his back, and wrap my arm around his neck.

If he thinks he can win this fight from me, he is definitely wrong!

Edward growls and tries everything to get loose, but there's no chance I will let him choke me again.

"Edward, snap out of it. You have to realize that I didn't do anything to her, she changed her mind, all by herself, and you know my visions are true. I can't stop them, and actually.. I don't want to stop them. I need Bella, too."

Edward's eyes stay black as coal and he hisses things I can't and don't want to hear. She deserves much more than what he is giving her..

"Alice! How dare you think that! Bella has been for me, from the first moment we met. Nothing is going to change that!"

A cold rush flows across our bodies as Carlisle and Emmett are standing on each side of us, pulling our bodies apart. Carlisle's arms around my body and Emmett's around Edward.

"Stop this right now. Whatever it is, we can talk about it like always." Carlisle's voice makes me shiver and I stare down at my feet. If only he was right..

"Let's take this inside, shall we?" Carlisle and Emmett keep on holding us apart, while dragging us inside. I can see that Emmett is obviously struggling with Edward, but I already gave in to Carlisle. I don't even want to fight. I just want to run after Bella, wherever she is going..
Edward growls at me and tries to get loose once more, without success.

"Alice, where is Bella?" Carlisle asks, sounding utterly calm. I keep staring down while his hands are still holding on to my arms strongly. He feels my mood is calmer now and when he lets go of me, I sink down to my knees, hands before my face.

"I don't know, Carlisle, Edward.. I don't know where she is. She asked me to bring her home, so I did, but I knew this day would come.." Now that I confessed this I feel even worse. I knew this would happen, and nobody else knew about it.

"Bella loves me.." I continue, sounding shocked and relieved at the same time. I can't believe I didn't act sooner, let her know sooner. How can I be so stupid!

Edward jumps out of Emmett's grasp and hits me against my jaw with breaking speed. I hear my face crack and look around me, dazed. Emmett runs towards him but Edward is gone before he can grab him. A vision hits me now and I wonder if I can really take this much pain right now.

Edward.. running through the woods, smelling Bella..wanting to find her before me..

No.. he can't reach her before me.. I have to find her..before he does..

I look at Carlisle who looks at me, concerned about my jaw, but I know he knows I need to go as well. Thank god that Carlisle does not take sides, even when I feel that the blame is on me completely. This is not just me. It is Bella mostly.

I run to the door and close it without looking back. If I have to fight for her, I will. I can't let go of what I'm feeling, and I can only hope she won't change her mind about this, too scared of the actual truth.

Damn it.. if only I knew where she was..

I feel as if I need to breathe while I run without stopping. I can't stop now. I let out a deep sigh. It feels wrong still. Something in my chest is killing me. Not even the stinging pain in my jaw can distract my focus from my chest. Before I know it I scream out loud, the loudest I can. I need Bella. I love her too. She loves me back. I can't let this pass. I run even faster and scream once more.
After running for 5 hours I catch her smell. My vision hits me again, this time a little more detailed. She's at a brown cabin next to a small river. Jacobs cabin. Did she ask him for this? Is he in there with her? I don't see him in my vision. Her truck is outside the cabin, she must have driven like a mad person. Maybe she learned something from us after all..
I wonder where Edward is. He could be with her already, or closer than I am. That idea makes me feel something like nauseousness and I ball up my fists in anger. He can't change her mind. She is mine!

I run and run until her smell is obviously around me in the air. Almost there, I'm sure of it. I need to see her, hold her, tell her I'm sorry a thousand times, and then a thousand times more. I should have told her before, not lied to her. If Edward is with her now, it's all my own fault if she chooses him over me. At least he is there with her, and I'm not. She would be deciding it on her own, without me changing her mind. He would know it was all her, not me being insane.

I stop running and feel my body coming to a halt. There it is. The red cabin with her truck next to it. The door isn't locked but closed shut. My fingers shake as I walk slowly towards it, being quiet just so I can hear if someone is inside. The only thing I can hear is loud sobs. Bella is inside. I wait another second, and then open the door slowly. My eyes adjust to the darkness inside and I take a quick look around. I can't see her but know where she is. My vision already showed me. On the table in front of me I see my CD and several attempts of letters to us, to me..

Alice,

I could not stay. This is more than I can handle and I hope you understand. I'm betraying the whole family, but mostly myself. Edward can't know. Promise me, Alice. You've always been the best sister I could ever wish for, so promise me that you will destroy this letter after you've read it, and just let me do this alone. I hate myself for this, and it hurts me terribly to have to write you this and not see you in person, but you understand.

I'm in love, Alice. I can't be with Edward anymore, nor anyone else. I'm in love. . . With you.

I already read it in my vision, but now that I see it for real and touch the papers with my hand it feels even more intense. When I look over to the sofa I can see Bella's head behind it. Before I know what I'm doing I run towards her and pick her up in my arms, holding her tighter to me than I ever did before.

"Bella!" I say out loud, and press her even closer to me. I can hear her heartbeat racing now and her sobs are even louder now I'm holding her.

"Alice. What are you doing here? I don't want you to see me like this.."

Oh Bella..