A/N: srry 4 d wait, heres ch 23!=3

Warning(plz read):

-Cliché moments(we all hav them)

-Jounouchi Katsuya will be referred to as "Jou", "Jounouchi-kun", "Katsuya", or other dog references courtesy of Kaiba.(except at special points where Honda or Kaiba will refer to him as "Jounouchi") As for his father he will be dubbed "Jounouchi" and "Jounouchi-san"…but its all pretty clear=) an this WILL continue for d rest of d fic…ty.

-Violence and abuse

Disclaimer:

Fluffy: u kno wat? I don't own YGO or d characters so theres really not much else to say, ne?

Seto: other than u hav issues, serious issues?

Jou: I'm glad this is almost over! -cheers-

Fluffy: don worry theres plenty more puppyshipping fics 2 come!!

Jou an Seto: -groans-

Last Time:

"Niisama…"(Older brother) Mokuba whispered, his eyes wide. He wasn't too sure how to address the situation.

"Don't let them wreak the place, bed by ten, I'll be back in a bit…" was the harshly toned answer and with that Seto left.

"But Seto…" Mokuba nearly whined, "It's not even a school night!" he finished more quietly.

:Katsuya's POV:

I love my Father…

It was the truth that no one understood, I truly loved him, it was simple. Ridiculous as that was I loved the man who beat me and blamed me for the wrongs of his life blamed me for the pain. He had told me once before, I remember it well, when I was crying one of the first times I was beat that 'it's yer own fault, yer the one to blame. If ya were worth somethin, or at least had somethin to offer yer Father - if only ya could do somethin right then I wouldn't have to…'

It had always hurt so much hearing my own Father say those things to me, but I've come to understand the truth in those words as well as the meaning.

If I had tried harder. If I had simply been of more value then my Mother wouldn't have grown wary of me and given up on us, she wouldn't have took Shizuka and left us. If I would have known then, if I had put more effort in being the son they needed. If I wouldn't have been born, they could have lived a happy less problematic life with Shizuka. Not worrying about where their next meal would come from, when her Father would get drunk and beat her brother or possibly her.

If I weren't here Dad would have been happy, Mom would have been happy, Shizuka would have been happy. If I weren't here they could have been a real family.

These are the thoughts of my sub consciousness - or whatever as I'm sure I'm not conscious now, after that beating, it had been painful. Though I deserved it. I foggily remember blackness clouding my vision and mind then something had stirred me awake, or more over proved to me that I wasn't dead because the pain clouded my mind.

Now I am unconscious yet conscious enough to realize this and that something had changed with my body, I was moving or rather being moved. My body was unable to move by itself, I had lost a lot of blood…I think. My condition was unknown to me, I had for a short while thought I was dead. The pain had stopped and on my mind was working, scenes of my childhood had flashed before my eyes. Thoughts of if there was a god and heaven would I be damned to hell for my sins. Thoughts of my friends tears of hearing what had become of me, and how long they would mourn my death. Days, weeks, months…years perhaps?

They would move on.

Shizuka would cry.

Mom would rejoice.

Kaiba would…not care.

None of that mattered now, because, I was not dead I was very much alive. You see, I know very well that when you die you do not feel intense pain like this, you don't think…you simply see a light and if you go to it your dead if not your alive. There was no light.

I don't get a choice.

If god exists, he is immeasurably cruel. If he doesn't why the FUCK are we here?!

What was I doing this whole time?

I'm I so pathetic?

I feel sudden pain, I want to scream, but I can't…

The pain remains but slowly fades to a much less intense and more bearable ache. I can't help but wonder why that is, shouldn't it only grow more painful? I suppose the only reason this could be is that who ever or what ever it was that had caused the earlier disturbance was either tending to my wounds by a form of pain reliever or had took me to someone to do so.

The details weren't important to me but I was curious, who would do either? My Dad had been the one to inflict them and no one else lived with us. The only possibilities were Honda, if he got too worried, or maybe Shizuka, if she came to visit. Gods, I hope not. For Shizuka to witness something like this…

Consciousness tugged at my foggy mind, demanding my eyes be opened, I was too weak to refuse. Groggily my lids fluttered open revealing a very black world that seemed to have forgotten we needed light to see with. This worried me but I decided not to dwell on it, if even if it was dramatic enough like I lost my sight, it would be fine. I've decided I'll just go with whatever comes. Rather it be death, pain, loneliness, or blindness.

Bleak colored fuzziness bled into my corrupted vision, everything appeared as if I were viewing it through murky water. Where barely visible shapes blurred together in what I could only assume was motion. From this I could see, what I believed, was the walls of my surrounding were near. It was a very small room, just enough room for me to lay down comfortably. Which I'm sure I was.

I felt something soft beneath me, like cloth, either a bed or something akin. It was familiar. My touch was better off than my sight, I wasn't numb, I could feel the soft caress of the object I lay on as well as the gentle vibrations.

Vibrations?

I was moving? I vehicle then?

Yes, there was a sound as well, a quiet hum of an engine.

So I was being to took to the hospital then, but it bothered me. Not the thought of the hospital but who was bringing me there. An ambulance?

A painful groan escaped my throat, it didn't make it past my lips though, as it died halfway there. I didn't doubt it was inaudible, my body simply didn't have the strength to summon an audible sound. In the least.

Heat rushed heavily into my already overly warm body as I felt something softly brush my cheek. The sensation was quickly lost to the next,, "Don't try to move, unless dieing appeals that much to you?" the voice was quiet - even so close to my ear. So deep, it reminded me of someone.

I felt myself groan again and attempted to clear my fogy mind, my vision had cleared slightly but not enough to allow me to see clearly. My body still ached and so I couldn't move, talking was impossible as well. I could only lay there and wait, for what I didn't know but I did know I was once more growing groggy.

I didn't see a point to bother with fighting against the blackness that threatened to consume me. I simply fell back into blissful unconsciousness.

For what felt like a ridiculously immeasurable number of times I awoke to a blindingly sharp pain and darkness filled my vision. But this time it cleared rather quickly, the pain faded into a dull ache while my vision cleared so I could see my surroundings easily enough.

I wasn't surprised to see the white ceiling, the wall the same sterile white and bleached marshmallow of the curtains to what I believed was my left. The Hospital. It even smelt sterile, the clean medical smell filled my senses, though it didn't bother me as much as one would have thought. It was so much different from my Dad's apartment.

Shaking the thought I went back to studying my surroundings, so much white I may get a worst headache, guess they didn't believe in color.

Lightly closing my eyes I gave a sigh, the last thing my Dad would want is to worry over my hospital bill, which I'm sure we couldn't afford at the time. That brought me to the question, why was I even here? Shouldn't I have been left on the floor back home, to either die or pull myself together and lick my own wounds.

I groaned, more dog related jokes, was even my mental stability being effected by those ridiculous dog insults?

Thank you Kaiba.

Speaking of which, my eyes caught onto movement, somewhere on my right side. Icy sapphire eyes met mine, causing my breath to hitch.

No fucking way!

"Ka-Kaiba..?" had I managed to speak? Amazing. Though it came out hoarse, scratchy like I haven't drank water in a very long - long time. Had I? When was the last time I had drank or ate anything, or for that matter when was the last time my eyes had been open and able to clearly see?

How long had it been since I was with Kaiba last?

Since my Father beat me last?

How long had I been here laid up unconscious? Hours, days, or longer?

"It's been a while…" I looked over to the owner of the cold emotionless voice, happy yet surprised that my vision was alright. I could see.

"H-how long?" I questioned, not as much because I wanted to answer as I felt I had to respond. I wanted to speak, to exercise my voice but more I wanted to hear him speak. Why? I didn't know, but I did, maybe his voice comforted me or simply reminded me that I am living. Reminded me that I hadn't been beaten to death, that I had indeed survived. When I heard that voice, so cold and unyielding, I hurt an undeniably painful pang in my chest.

It reminded me of what had happened between us, the pain I had caused the owner of said voice and how much he had bestowed upon me as well.

My jaw clenched tightly, grinding my teeth together, my body growing tense. Would he not answer? Was I to be denied such a simple desire, to hear his voice? "Pl-please…" it was my own voice, I didn't recognize.

"Not very long considering your condition." I felt like crying, speak more!

"Wh-what condition would 'at be?" why was I asking him?

"You should wait for the doctor's explanation." and to think normally I would do anything to shut you up!

"Ah, alright." I sounded depressed even to my own ears.

"Are you…how are you feeling?" he sounded, what was that, concerned? Was he concerned for me?

"L-like shit! But…better." I paused, hesitating. "Um, what…I mean how am I…?" what the hell was I trying to say?!

"I brought you here." he answered it simply. I wanted, no, needed more…

"How, er- why?" what was I asking, I didn't even know!

"I came to talk to you, but…" he paused, what was that? "You weren't conscious so…obviously I brought you here, to the hospital." his eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to the bed.

"But…" I wanted to ask "why", but hadn't I already asked? My mouth refused to form the words.

"I'm heartless? Why would I care, why would I bother helping your sorry ass?!" he was growing angry, I could see it as he now stood directly beside my bed now.

"I should believe differently?" my own eyes narrowed, I was getting angry too now.

"No, you shouldn't." what was with that expression?

"Then what..?"

"I didn't, you won't die until our matter is resolved!" he hissed, why was he talking so quietly.

I felt like an idiot, lost and confused wandering without a clue to where I was or what was happening around me. Like a newborn baby.

"What…what is it yer saying?" my voice trembled, I was laid up in the hospital for gods sakes, so it should come as no surprise that I was an emotional wreck. "It's fine if I die just not before yer done wit' meh?! Bastard!" my voice was raw, heavy with emotion.

"No…" his voice was just above a whisper.

"Then what Kaiba?! What? Cause' damn if I dun'no! I- I…" my voice shook, was I scared? "I don't know, I don' understand…what, why…" I bit my lip forcing down tears. What I didn't understand was my own stupidity why did I do the things I did? Why did I forcefully get closer to him? Why did I hurt him, was it simply to make myself feel better?

Did hurting Kaiba make my life seem less pathetic?

No, I didn't hate him, it wasn't like that.

"What don't you understand? After everything that's happen between us you think you can escape so easily?" his words sounded angry but he didn't, his voice was low - quiet. He almost sounded sad.

"I thought t'hat, I thought…it was over. We jus' ignore each other's existence…or something'." tears were forming in my eyes. Why?

"Ignore what happened?" he questioned, his voice was rough. "You proved your not a Mutt, congratulations! You achieved what you set out to do…there's nothing more to be said or done so…" he paused, pain was clear in his eyes, only for a second. But it lasted long enough for me to recognize it. "I'll be going now…" he muttered, looking me over carefully once more.

Our eyes met, momentarily, but within those seconds I witnessed how much pain and confusion Kaiba was feeling at the moment. I finally understood just how much my actions had hurt him, just how much what I had done was effecting him.

"Seto!" my voice was loud, stronger than I would have thought it to be capable of being for a while to come yet. "Wait…I, I don't want to ignore what happened!" I sat up, it hurt like hell but I ignored the pain. "I'm sorry, not t'hat I did it…but that it- it hurt you."

"I'm not hurt." he sounded tired.

"Then," I paused taking in a deep breath. "Okay, I'm still sorry though, but…" another pause and he turned back around, he looked so tired. "I'm-" I froze, I had called him 'Seto'!! Unintentionally, but I had, and he had no objections to that? He hadn't mentioned it at all, he had heard though that I knew.

"I'm glad, thankful, for what I did…" what was I admitting? I hadn't even been fully conscious to if this was how I truly felt.

"Kaiba…" I wanted to call him 'Seto' but I was afraid, the thought of getting close to him - or even attempting such acts frightened me to no extent. What was it that I was afraid of?

"Don't…" he spoke up, quietly, almost timidly. "Don't say 'Kaiba'…"

"Wha-"

"I am hurt!" he hissed, his eyes glared heatedly at me.

"It hurts so much, but what you did, I'm-I'm glad…I'm thankful too. It's because…because…" he didn't finish, he was an emotional wreck as well.

But he was thankful, he was glad, he doesn't resent the things that happened between us? Now I was truly confused.

"Kaiba, I don't…"

"Seto! Don't say 'Kaiba'! You called me 'Seto' so don't resort back to 'Kaiba'…your not allowed to call me 'Kaiba'…don't ever call me 'Kaiba' again, Katsuya!" was he angry now? I didn't understand.

"S-Seto." I spoke, I didn't decide to speak his name but I did. "Seto…" the name, I loved saying it, the person I thought so long ago that I hated so much…the name that would make me sick. It turned out I loved it. Saying his name, so intimately, made me feel closer to him.

"Seto." I could clearly hear the emotion in my voice.

"Seto, Seto, Seto…" why?

"Seto!!" why can't we understand one another?

"Seto…I did it all, I did that…I hurt you. Seto, even at the cost of hurting you, I wanted to prove my worth to you Seto." I paused but didn't think, if I though I would stop confessing. "I raped you, because, because I wanted you to see me as an equal or at least not worthless…but now I see that, I want to be…" my body was shaking, raw with emotion I finally understood, now to make him understand as well.

"I want to be close to you, I want to be able to…I wanna understand you and have you understand me. I- I…I'm in…" my words finally stopped, but only momentarily as my next words shocked us both.

"I-is it…is it, in love with you?" tears that had been forming fell freely from my eyes, dripping down my red face to show Seto my pain and understanding.

TBC…

A/N: dats dat then, ch 23...2 more 2 go!

Hope u enjoyed if so plz review, if not…review too plz!1xD

-cya nxt ch!