Warning(plz read):
-Cliché moments(we all hav them)
-Jounouchi Katsuya will be referred to as "Jou", "Jounouchi-kun", "Katsuya", or other dog references courtesy of Kaiba.(except at special points where Honda or Kaiba will refer to him as "Jounouchi") As for his father he will be dubbed "Jounouchi" and "Jounouchi-san"…but its all pretty clear=) an this WILL continue for d rest of d fic…ty.
-Violence and abuse
-different style from my usual work…yea, ull see wat I mean(tho it was all necessary…so hope it doesn't bother u too muchxP)
Disclaimer:
Jou: yea, so she doesn' own Yugioh or any of it's characters…
Fluffy: I only wish…
Seto: another chs been added…great.
Moku: yes…great! -smirks-
Jou: um…I don' lik 'at look…
Last time:
"Seto…I did it all, I did that…I hurt you. Seto, even at the cost of hurting you, I wanted to prove my worth to you Seto." I paused but didn't think, if I though I would stop confessing. "I raped you, because, because I wanted you to see me as an equal or at least not worthless…but now I see that, I want to be…" my body was shaking, raw with emotion I finally understood, now to make him understand as well.
"I want to be close to you, I want to be able to…I wanna understand you and have you understand me. I- I…I'm in…" my words finally stopped, but only momentarily as my next words shocked us both.
"I-is it…is it, in love with you?" tears that had been forming fell freely from my eyes, dripping down my red face to show Seto my pain and understanding.
:Seto's POV:
I felt my heart pound painfully in my chest then come to a near complete stop, it was the Puppy, laid on the ground. Unmoving, surrounded by what I could only guess was his own blood…well perhaps that was a bit dramatic. He was though, laid on the ground unmoving in a very heart-stopping-death-like position that made me almost cry out in fear for his demise.
"Jou-Jounouchi?" I walked slowly over to the spot where he lay. No one else was home at the moment, I had knocked, I had waited, but there had been no answer. Irritated with that fact I had forced my way into the apartment, I was persuaded that he had been ignoring my calls in favor of hiding. I had been wrong.
To my horror, moments after wandering around the seemingly empty apartment, when ready to call it quits and I had talked myself into the rational conclusion that no one was home at the moment and I was acting illogical - arrogant at insisting they were simply hiding, I came across something that caught my attention. The door itself wasn't too different from the others, slightly ajar like someone had left not caring enough to close the door after themselves, nothing too strange. But something urged me to investigate, so I did, though even for a while to come I wouldn't be able to explain even to myself what had drawn me to look through the door.
There I found him, laying, motionless on the floor covered in his own blood. My heart pounded harshly in my chest before coming to a spluttering stop, my eyes grew twice their usual size. "Jou-Jounouchi!" that was my voice? I was calling out his name so desperately, fear and pain coursed through my shaking body, those emotions were evident in my voice.
Was he..?
"No!" I walked quickly to his side, but I couldn't move further, he was…
"No! No! Jou-Jounouchi! G-get..up!" why was I acting so irrational? Why was I…
"Jounouchi!" my voice was weak.
My legs trembled, then without enough strength to keep me up, gave way and I fell to my knees. "J-Jounouchi!" I was pleading, no this wasn't me! I wouldn't, so no, I wouldn't cry or be so upset. I was being irrational, this was stupid! Getting so worked up…
Wait, what was that? He was breathing? Yes, he was, breathing…he was alive! Alive!
"J-Jounouchi…" tears had gathered in my eyes, and gods was I thankful he wasn't conscious! I wiped them away and finally became more like myself once more, rationalizing and finally thinking clearly. I had to get him help, or my horrors would become reality…
"N-no…" I leaned forward to grab him, but stopped, it was his head- right? Moving someone with a head injury could make the damage worst, but I couldn't do anything else. What was I to do? If I called an ambulance, they would want to see his parent or guardian, wouldn't they. If not they would at least contact him…
I'd have to do this myself, carefully, I'd transport him to the hospital and simply shut up anyone who objected to him being without a legal guardian with a generous check accompanied with a simple threat.
Slowly I worked a hand under his head, using both hands to work it to shoulder level without damaging him further. Once there I rested it against my shoulder gently, then moved onto his lower body. Still holding his head clutched to my shoulder gently- so I wouldn't drop it, I slid my other hand under his lower back then gradually to his ass. There I paused.
Damn!
My breath hitched and I had to once more refocus, now wasn't the time to be screwing around, even if ass did feel so…
It was the same ass, the one I wanted to pound into, the one that belonged to the one who had pounded into me! The same owner that had took my virginity…The ass I wanted, badly. I was now touching …
Damn!!
My cheeks burned, this was, humiliating. Shaking the unpleasant thoughts I got back to the task at hand, rescuing Jounouchi. With that I ran my hand over that ass and down his thighs until about half-way to his knees, once there I lifted his frail frame fully into my arms. Standing to my full height, I held him close so I wouldn't drop him, like you would hold an over sized new born baby.
Slowly I made my way to the exit, stumbling over various cans, bottles, uneven floor boards, or other such pieces of trash or problematic obstacles. Once I nearly dropped him due to a particularly nasty loose floor board accompanied by a beer can lodging itself under my foot directly after I'd caught myself from the first fall, but I managed to hold myself up regardless. Afterward it was mostly pretty clear, a few obstacles that threatened to have me over turned yet, but I escaped.
With a soft sigh I quickly headed toward my waiting limo, Jounouchi wasn't heavy, very light actually which surprised me - I would of figured he to be at least twice what he felt. But I was thankful he wasn't, if so I probably wouldn't have got him out of the run down apartment with little to no extra damage.
The trip into the limo was far from simplistic, getting to said vehicle was a "cake walk" but getting into the damn thing would take a miracle - to bad I'm short on those today. Luckily, or unluckily I didn't bother to dwell, my chuffer stepped out to help. He opened the door but didn't ask any questions, like a good Chuffer should. Though I threw him a threatening 'none of your business, let this slip to anyone you'll loose so much more than your damn job!' glares and gently slid Jounouchi in the limo first.
After we were on the road it was mostly uneventful, just the hum of the engine and my own thoughts. In my opinion that couldn't get much worst, leaving me to think about the current events with no sure answer. But that wasn't to last as about five or ten minutes of silence with only the limo and myself, Jounouchi stirred in his sleep…Well perhaps that wasn't the most intelligent way to phrase such a situation, more over he moaned and awoke.
My eyes drifted over to the Puppy's unmoving frame, of course he didn't have the strength to move yet, but his eyes were opened. Hazy warm caramel eyes shifted unsteadily like they would fade back into the pits they had emerged from, he was barely conscious. He needed to relax, he was safe now…steeling myself I trusted myself to speak.
"Don't try to move, unless dieing appeals that much to you?" it sounded harsh, cold, like something I'd hiss toward someone to such them up. Why did I sound so cruel, I was, believe it or not, trying to be kind and comforting…
He groaned again in answer to my harsh tone, was he aware who's presence he was in? His hazy eyes shifted once more, then slowly closed and he drifted back into unconsciousness.
We arrived at the hospital moments later, where I entered head held high with the half dead blond teen boy in my arms, my expression cold and unyielding to even the many nurses who rushed to my side recognizing me immediately. They hurriedly snatched him from my loosening arms then rushed away while preparing him for the necessary medical care and that's as far as I seen as I was rushed into a opposite direction to receive my own medical check up.
Ignoring the fact I'd told her a dozen times I was not harmed a nurse, I'd say about mid thirties with auburn hair tucked back into a bun then nurses cap thrown carelessly over with deep ebony eyes, made a quick physical overall check up. After she was assured I wouldn't kill over on a moment's notice she turned glaring heatedly at me, "What the hell were you thinking, Kaiba-sama!" she spit the words out.
My own eyes widened fractionally before narrowing "What ?!" I barked, I wasn't in the mood for her shit!
"You could have killed that young man! Bringing him here like that, playing hero, just what the hell?!" she roared, just who the hell did she think she was talking to?!
I opened my mouth ready to make her ultimately regret ever crossing paths with me but was interrupted, "For gods sakes, everyone knows you do not move someone with a head injury without proper knowledge of how to handle the situation! There's blood loss and muscle strain you have to consider!!" she was yelling, things I already knew. "You should have called in a professional, rather you want to believe it or not, you can not do everything yourself! If this boy dies or suffers permanent damage then your just as responsible as whatever it was that first inflicted the injuries! Understand!? You will be trialed with second degree murder, Seto Kaiba! Justice! You, need to understand the extent of what your actions do to others! You can't just go around doing what ever the hell you please, because rather you care or not you will hurt someone! So use the damn heart you were born with and do something right! For fucks sake!" she didn't pause to take a breath, amazing, though it only disgusted me.
"If you think doing something so stupid and playing hero will get you into his pants your so very fuckin' sadly mistaken! Doing such things for such low selfish gain…You could have killed this boy, yet over such petty reasons! Stop thinking with you damn cock!" she was growling red faced.
What…the…hell?
"Doing such things, does it matter how he feels at all to you?! You-"
"Enough! Just shut up!" I interrupted, pissed, going on like she knew exactly what was happening. Damn her! "Just shut the fuck up!! I have my reasons for bringing him here myself, his Father inflicted those injuries, if I would have waited to have him brought here then…" I paused, breathing heavily. "I didn't know when his Father would return, if he would have came back before I had gotten Jounouchi out of there…" I was shaking, why? "He could have killed Jounouchi, I might not have been strong enough to protect him…"
I took a deep breath, " I don't…I don't want Jounouchi to die! I was aware that I was putting him in danger when I brought him here, but, but…the least I could do is try- after everything we've been through. I owed him that, I won't let him die for such petty reasons. No…he's not that weak. Jounouchi's a very…he's a very strong person. Someone, I could…admire." I felt hot tears gathering in my eyes, this was humiliating.
Throwing my head back in a display of uncharacteristic frustration I growled "I didn't do it to get in his pants! He's already been in mine…it's not fair! I wanna fuck him! I wanna have sex with him again, and again…" I didn't know why I said that, it wasn't how I felt.
Looking down from the ceiling I noticed the nurse staring at me, eyes wide and mouth open in awe.
What…the…hell?!
--
My eyes narrowed as I pulled open the door leading into his room, it had took them a while but they had finally managed to stabilize his condition, and so I was able to enter. Even after hearing his condition wasn't a bad as both myself and most the medical staff, including the loud-mouthed nurse, had thought and that he would probably make a full recovery soon enough I didn't relax or fully believe that it was possible.
The doctors claimed it was amazing that the boy was strong and had a strong will to live. (I though blamed it on his inhuman stubbornness)
Quietly I closed the door behind myself and walked further into the room, my eyes instantly swept over his frame. He lay motionless on the hospital bed, mask, tubes, and other such medical devices already placed ceremoniously over his frail body.
My body trembled as I walked over to the bed side, it was true, he hadn't died, he was alive. He had been so close to death, but he had fought it off, he was so strong to fight with all his strength even after he'd been hurt so many times, after life had only given him pain. It was truly amazing, to me, if I would have been in his position would I- could I have fought back so fiercely?
I sat on the chair beside his bed. Jounouchi, was so much stronger than me, that realization made my heart clench tightly in my chest. All this time I had put him through so much pain, when he was already hurting so much, then to think with all the other things that caused him such pain it was what I did that threw him over the edge. Why? Why did my actions have such an effect on him?
He was so strong, yet, all this time my actions were hurting him…slowly bringing him down.
But he had hurt me, so, no it wasn't that simple. I had, long before he had…, I had always put him down - insulted him at any given chance. What had I been after? What did I expect from hurting him, slowly breaking him down? Did it make me feel better, did I need that - the reassurance that I was worth more than him? That I was better?
Why?
I expected tears, but to my surprise I didn't cry. Why surprised? I had been hardened for years, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that I wouldn't cry.
I leaned forward, I wasn't fully aware of to what my body was doing, if I had been I would have stopped it and realized it was like a cliché movie. I would have been disgusted with myself. My hand ghosted over his forehead gently, brushing the gold fringe aside. Though there was no tears, my eyes held raw emotion- emotion I wouldn't even allow Mokuba to see such pain, suffering, sorrow, yet so much more there was hope, desire, and something else…something I wasn't ready to read or understand yet.
Why?
--
"He's really lucky, ya' know?" the doctor was speaking, he sounded like he knew Jounouchi, like he understood.
He didn't.
"When you first brought him here, I thought he'd…I would never have thought he'd survive. But it's amazing, the boy, he's so strong. I've read in his records that something similar to this had occurred in his past. That he had been past all hope, well that he had been unconscious and it was a near hopeless case. But he had made a full recovery so suddenly, without any special treatment at that…" he was still rambling about things I already knew.
"Yes, he's…really strong willed." I sighed.
"It's truly amazing, he's been in here just over a day now, and I think he'll be able to leave soon too…" he paused " but I wanna keep him here a bit longer, to assure there isn't any serious head trauma…" he said, his voice was quiet. His next words will be remembered for a while to come "Though, he is strong, that is true and he is showing great progress so he should recover fully soon. But there is the possibility…he may choose not to wake up. In the review you stated that 'It was his bastard Father', and all the evidence backs this story, there is signs of abuse…some children, victims of abuse, often see life as pain and often give up on living. If this boy…you bringing him here helped, he lost less blood than if you hadn't. You were lucky that you were careful enough not to seriously injure his head while transporting him here but.."
"It is his choice really. You should also know, he is very strong, that is true…but if such pain and damage continues to be inflicted on this boy, he'll be broken beyond repair. His body's weakening, he will…if this continues." he stated this with narrow eyes, looking at me directly.
He was saying that Jounouchi was slowly dieing, being broken down piece by piece. Part of this, was my fault…
The doctor left soon after, leaving me to my thoughts, or so I thought. My eyes swept over Jounouchi, narrowed in what many would mistake for concern, his eyelids fluttered open slowly. He squinted at the lights and attempted to adjust to his surroundings. At the realization that he was in fact waking up, I stepped closer to the bed, but I was still a fairly good distance away.
His eyes almost immediately wandered in my direction, when they reached their destination it only took a moment for him to absorb what he was seeing. "K-Kaiba..?" his voice was quiet, barely audible and so hoarse.
"It's been a while…" my own voice sounded quiet, but so cold, old habits die hard. His eyes had left mine, wandering anywhere I wasn't, but came back to rest on me as I spoke.
"H-how long?" his voice was a bit stronger this time. I was reacting to distantly, had I not just been told this boy may choose to die a moment ago? Still, with the knowledge that my cold responses would have the opposite effect I wanted, I continued.
I didn't answer him immediately, but waited, not that I was thinking about how long it had been…that I knew. So why prolong answering him? My thoughts, they were traveling behind my eyes so quickly. I wasn't very sure of anything anymore. Jounouchi could have died, yet here we were chatting like this…
"Pl-please…" had he expected me to hear his plea? So quiet, so desperate…
"Not very long, considering your condition" why answer in such a round-about way, why not answer him strait?
"Wh-what condition would 'at be?" why was he asking me?
"You should wait for the Doctor's explanation." this wasn't like our normal conversations.
"Ah, alright." he sounded depressed, but, why? Oh, he nearly died? Of course he would be…
"Are you…" I started without thinking, but quickly recovered "How are you feeling?" was that…concern, in my own voice?!
"L-like shit! But…better." he paused, hesitating, or so it seemed. "Um, what…I mean how am I..?" his words were jumbled and delivered sloppily, so much so I had to hold back a smile. Jounouchi was…Jounouchi.
"I brought you here." I answered simply, interrupting his scrambled thoughts.
"How, er- why?"
"I came to talk to you, but…" I sudden pang in my chest reminded me of the situation. "You weren't conscious so…obviously I brought you here, to the hospital." I felt my exterior harden and stepped closer to the bed.
"But…"
"I'm heartless?!" I spat, where the hell did this conversation just turn? "Why would I care, why would I bother helping your sorry ass!?" I was angry, after everything, back to this? I stood directly by his bed, but didn't care about our close proximity.
"I should believe differently?" he was angry too.
"No, you shouldn't." I had always been cruel to him, so why should he believe differently?
"Then what..?" he was shaking, I was shaking as well. So emotional.
"I didn't, you won't die until our matter is resolved?" I hissed, why did I always end up saying things that hurt him?
"What…what is it yer saying?" his voice trembled. "It's fine if I die just not before yer done wit' meh?! Bastard!" his voice shook, raw with emotion.
"No…" that was my own voice, quiet, just above a whisper and void of emotion.
"Then what Kaiba?! What? Cuz' damn if I dun'no! I- I…" his voice shook harshly, almost as if in fear. "I don't know, I don' understand…what, why…" he bit his lip…I didn't understand either. Was only he allowed to be confused? So what if I was Seto Kaiba, did that mean I was to be perfect and emotionless? Heartless?
Was that expected of me?
Did it not matter that I had been hurt too? That his actions had hurt me, even if I had hurt him before he had took action, did it simply not matter?
I despise what he did…didn't I?
He had been the one to do the actions yet here he was saying he didn't understand, that…damn him!!
"What don't you understand? After everything that's happened between us you think you can escape so easily?" my voice was quiet again, I almost sounded sad…
"I thought t'hat, I thought…it was over. We jus' ignore each other's existence…or something." his voice was rough, a glance in his direction confirmed that he was near tears.
"Ignore what happened?" my own voice was rough. "You proved your not a Mutt, congratulations! You achieve what you set out to do…there's nothing more to be said or done so…" I paused my emotionless mask that had been agonizingly built for years cracked forever allowing emotion to seep through like a poorly built boat would allow leaks- cracks that wouldn't easily be repaired.
Pain, amazing pain, emotion poured through those cracks…my eyes weren't cold but hot with emotion. Had my emotionless state been broken, was I…if this was what it took, if this was how it felt to be emotional and raw…I wanted to be a cold emotionless bastard again.
"Seto!" he had called me Seto, I realized it as soon as the word left his mouth. It angered me to think he could so easily say 'Seto' after everything, to say that. "Wait…I, I don't want to ignore what happened!" the bed squealed beneath him. "I'm sorry, not that I did it…but that it- it hurt you." the anger at him so easily calling out to me by 'Seto' eased away quickly after that.
"I'm not hurt." I sighed, tired of these games.
"Then," he took in a deep breath. "Okay, I'm still sorry though, but…" he paused and I turned back around I was exhausted beyond belief.
"I'm glad, thankful, for what I did…" I didn't understand what he was saying.
"Kaiba…" what the hell?! Back to 'Kaiba'?
"Don't…" my own voice? It was so weak, so unlike me. "Don't say 'Kaiba'…"
"Wha-"
"I am hurt!" my voice was raw as I hissed those words, my eyes burned heatedly as they glared at him.
"It hurts so much, but what you did, I'm- I'm glad…I'm thankful too. It's because…because…" I couldn't finish. My body trembled slightly, I wasn't able to fully control my body anymore.
"Kaiba , I don't…"
"Seto! Don't say 'Kaiba'! You called me 'Seto so don't resort back to 'Kaiba'…you r not allowed to call me 'Kaiba' …don't ever call me 'Kaiba' again, Katsuya!" my voice was harsh but I wasn't angry.
"S-Seto." his voice was soft now, timid, almost like he was embarrassed. "Seto…" he repeated. I simply listened, it was silly how a simple spoken name could make someone feel…
"Seto." his voice was emotional, I wanted to…hold him close and let him repeat that name millions of times.
"Seto, Seto, Seto…" it was like a chant, warding off evil or pain. Why did I feel this way?
"Seto!!" why didn't I understand, why couldn't we see eye-to-eye. Why was it so hard.
"Seto…I did it all, I did that…I hurt you. Seto, even at the cost of hurting you, I wanted to prove my worth to you Seto." he paused and my mind was racing, trying to keep up. "I raped you, because, because I wanted you to see me as an equal or at least not worthless…but now I see that, I want to be…" his body shook intensely, raw emotion seeped through his very being.
But would it reach me?
"I want to be close to you, I want to be able to…I wanna understand you and have you to understand me. I- I…I'm in…" what was he saying, all this time, and now this…I wasn't ready for it. Not yet…but he continued.
"I-is it…is it, in love wit' you?" tears that I could see him holding back all this time, poured heavily from his eyes. All his pain, was that much clearer to me now.
"J-Jounouchi…" my voice shook, just what was it he was saying? In love… It wasn't something I knew well. "What…are you..?" my body trembled, I was scared? I took a shaky breath and spoke words I'd never thought I would ever admit to "I don't…understand. Your feelings, my own, it's all too much…"
"But…you'll try to understand?" his voice grew soft, hopeful.
I nodded, "I want to understand." I sighed heavily, all of the built up frustration was easing off finally. "Wh-what is it I don't understand..?"
"Your asking me?" he sounded annoyed. Who else would know?
"Yes."
"Have you been listening? We haven' gotten anywhere have we?" he sighed long and hard.
"I don't understand your feelings, fully, I had thought that the reasons behind your actions had been to prove me wrong to show that you were not a 'worthless mutt'…was that wrong? I think so…now." my brow knitted together as I concentrated fully on the problem at hand. I was confused, so much had happened so quickly it left my head spinning. He couldn't just tell me? "You regret hurting me but your thankful for the time we spent together and the opportunity to become closer. You want to continue growing closer…?" he looked up at this point, though I hadn't noticed he had looked down.
"Is 'at okay?" he frowned, focusing on my eyes that were carefully focusing on his. "What is your motive?" I answered with my own question. My mind couldn't wrap around what he was saying, he wanted to grow closer…it almost sounded like…
"Motive?!" he was angry?
"Yes, you say you want to get closer, you say you enjoyed being with me…" why was I acting this way, should this come as a surprise?
"Kaiba, it should be obvious, maybe yer not as smart as ya like 't think…" he smirked half heartedly. What the hell was he playing at?
"Hn, well from what I've gathered there's only one conclusion…" I leaned closer to the bed, just far enough for my body not to touch him or the softness of the bed beneath us both now, "…your in love with me." I whispered hotly into his face, my breath washed over his lips causing them to tremble. Our noses touched and I had the urge to press our lips together. Deep dark hunger shown in his eyes inviting me closer, urging me to take him…
"Jounouchi-san…your Father's here." a nurse announced as she entered, pausing at the strange position of the patient and myself, his visitor, before blushing darkly and spluttering a "S-sorry, I-I didn't realize…I'll send him up in five minutes…s-so you can b-better p-p-prepare…"
"Incompetent woman." I muttered and stood back to my full height, much to both of our dismay.
TBC…
A/N:
-phew- dats it 4 diz ch…yea n since I randomly thought itd be 'smart' 2 add sum to the original ending of diz fic there will b 2 more chs after this(originally 25 chs now 26) so unless I change it again xDD 2 more chs 2 go till the end of "Understanding you" so hope u enjoyx3
--plz review--
-thx-