Chapter 4: MoleGate (AKA: Your Mom Has Been Involved in More than One Sex Scandal)

June 2027- Age 13- Pawnee- MoleGate

Leslie heard two of her three kids scream and dropped the plate she was drying off, shattering it, and ran into the living room.

"What, what is it?"

"Eww," Wesley kept repeating as he dove face down onto the couch as Sonia paced the room.

What is it?" Leslie pleaded as she sat down on the couch next to Wesley and began rubbing his back in comfort which made him shriek away and begin pacing the room like his sister.

"Okay. Okay. We turned on the tv and Joan Callamezo was on sharing a story about two politicians that were caught in a sex scandal and Wesley and I were laughing at the story and then we found out that one of the politicians involved in it was you!"

"Oh, okay. Well, this was bound to come out eventually. Alright, I know it sounds bad and your father and I broke some rules and rule breaking is wrong but this is one of the very very very few exceptions where it worked out. And we had to pay the consequences. Your dad had to resign in disgrace and I lost my campaign managers but things worked out. I won the city council seat because your dad worked for me and ran my campaign and we got married and had the three of you."

Wesley and Sonia stood with their mouths hanging up in shock.

"You guys look like you're hearing this for the first time. You just heard it on tv."

"Apparently we were talking about your OTHER sex scandal. With Ex Councilman Dexhart. He was lying, correct, and you pulled your pants down to prove that you didn't have a mole on your butt exposing him as a liar?" Sonia slowly explained.

"Oh,….that sex scandal," Leslie nervously laughed.

"How many have you been involved with mother?" Wesley asked as he and Sonia stood side by side in front of their mother who sat facing them on the couch.

"Oh, just that one and the one with…your father. I swear. I swear on Pawnee's beloved mini horse Lil Sebastian."

"But the scandal with that Dexhart guy and dad, they were both just lies, right?" Sonia and Wesley echoed.

"The Dexhart scandal was a blatant lie. That's why I pulled my pants down on tv. And the scandal with your father and I…well…I might as well tell you since I accidently told you it exists…and it's only a matter of time before you see that on the news…Daddy and I were involved in a little bit of a thing…."

Sonia and Wesley gave Leslie the same look that Ben gives people when they're lying.

"Okay. You know the story about your dad and Uncle Chris coming to Pawnee. State auditor is a local government employee's worst nightmare. I'd write him like a hundred memos and beg for money for my department. And he just…he was crazy about me," Leslie explained smiling and seemed to get lost in her reminiscing.

"And," Sonia prodded.

"Oh, yeah. So your dad took a job as Assistant City Manager, making him my boss, technically."

"But if dad was in love with you why would he take a job as your boss?" Wesley asked.

"He wasn't in love with you yet?" Sonia asked.

"It was just complicated. And your dad's kind of an idiot about those things. Cute intelligent idiot. I might also be a little slow about those types of things."

"Good luck kids," Leslie whispered under her breath with a laugh.

"Okay," Leslie said refocusing, "So your dad and I tried to follow the rules. We weren't allowed to date but we really really really liked each other a lot a lot a lot a lot. But we tried to just wait for it to go away. It did not. So eventually, after much contemplation your father and I engaged in a secret relationship. We were going to figure out if we had something real and lasting and reassess. But after a few months I was approached about running for office. A scandal would hurt my campaign so your dad sweetly ended things and we tried to move on. But we didn't. We loved each other and wanted to be together and we felt so guilty about lying and breaking the rules so we decided to be together and it not be a secret. We confessed. There was an ethics trial. Your dad resigned from his job in effect it allowed me to keep my job because he accepted all responsibility and the heaviest consequences."

"Why didn't dad just quit his job and then you two could've gone public a few months later?" Wesley wondered aloud, "That's what I would've done."

"Or they could've just gotten married. I bet it wouldn't have been a scandal if they had just eloped. That's what I would've done," Sonia commented.

"But the moral of the story is…." Leslie began trying to rack her brain for the end of her sentence as Wesley and Sonia then started to walk out of the room and discussing how gross their mom and dad are but how they were kind of impressed that they were willing to break the rules to be together.

"Always follow the rules kids. Respect the rules but follow your heart but rules," Leslie squeaked out before giving up.

Leslie stood in the living room for a minute processing what had just happened and just as she started to walk towards the kitchen she was greeted by Ben that was just about to panic.

"I saw the broken plate on the floor but I didn't hear anyone around," Ben began, "Is everyone okay?"

"Oh…..yeah. Um the kids know about our sex scandal."

"Oh, crap. We're they talking about it on the news again? We probably should've told them about it so they heard from us and not the news but last time it came up the media said our sex scandal was too boring to ever bring up again. You never know what the media is going to bring up these days. So, how are they?"

"Yep, the kids found out about our sex scandal on the news. Those pesky reporters. They heard it from them not from me accidently telling them."

"Leslie."

"Okay, so the kids told me they heard about my sex scandal and I assumed they meant our sex scandal. So I started explaining it. Turns out they knew nothing about our sex scandal and they had discovered my completely fabricated sex scandal with Dexhart. So now they know about both. And they really understand how we faced the consequences and one should follow rules."

"Okay. Good. Wait, Leslie."

"Okay, so they didn't understand the moral of the story. How could I explain it to them? I don't regret it and I wouldn't have done anything differently."

"Same, but I don't want them thinking it's okay. I don't want them to grow up and have their own…scandals. Good lord, what if they follow in our footsteps?"

"I wish there was a manual for politicians about how to talk to your kids about your sex scandals. Have any politicians we know said anything to us?" Leslie asked.

"Um, oh. Once Bill Clinton said to me, "Benny can you hand me that napkin I dropped?" That's not helpful."

"God, your Bill Clinton impersonation is so sexy. I wanna climb you like a koala bear climbs a eucalyptus tree," Leslie declared before she passionately kissed her husband.

"By the way, I kind of still want to punch Dexhart," Ben confessed in between kisses.

"Crap, we're gonna have to tell them about when I punched that guy in the bowling alley."

"And when I shoved a pie in that woman's face," Leslie mentioned before heading back in for another series of kisses.

"Oh crap on a spatula, Stephen doesn't know about any of it. He's upstairs listening to music so he missed everything. Well, Ben I dealt with the other two so you're gonna have to talk to Stephen. Oh, that's the oven timer."

Up Next: Cab Driver Confessions