August 2010

Draco and Astoria's life had become a screaming match ever since that bitter day in February. It frequently caused one spouse to leave the house at the end. Astoria never again left for more than one day. Since Draco was "often gone" as his darling wife had once told him, his habits were nothing new. He did, however, make sure that he was home by a proper time every night as his mother had instructed. It made him feel like a child that had a curfew. Even now he was brooding as he and Hermione sat in a secluded corner of a barely known restaurant.

"Marriage is a joke." Draco grumbled as he opened a packet of sugar too roughly. It spilled everywhere and Hermione quickly cleaned it up with her wand. "What the hell was I thinking? That I'd get married and it would be perfect for the rest of our lives?"

"No one said that marriage was perfect." Hermione told him. "Everyone fights. Ron and I argue all the time-"

Draco scoffed. "You two were made to argue. You've been fighting with him since year one and that whole troll incident. If you didn't argue I'd think that something was wrong. But Astoria and I…we never fought. We've never had a foul word to say to one another until now."

"Have you ever, you know, considered marriage counseling?"

"Not even if it could save my life, Hermione."

"Oh, come on, Draco." Hermione pleaded. "You love Astoria. I know you do. You must want to try to fix things-"

"You know what I love?" Draco interrupted. "I love you, and I love our time together despite what's happening in my marriage. So can we please talk about something other than me and my issues?"

Hermione stared at him blankly. She managed to watch him as he stirred his tea more than he needed to and even drink half of it before he noticed that she had her eyes on him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"…That's it, isn't it?" Hermione said with a frown. "It's not just the fact that you're away from home a lot. Astoria thinks that you're cheating, doesn't she?"

"And she's wrong." Draco replied matter-of-factly. "I may be many things, but I'm no cheater."

"Yes, you are. You're cheating on her with me."

Draco looked at her in extreme surprise and confusion. "What on earth are you talking about? We've never even kissed let alone-"

"Emotionally, Draco." Hermione clarified. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "You and I… We've been friends for forever and our bond is… We have a very close friendship. You know this."

"Yeah, a friendship." Draco emphasized. "You're my friend, Hermione."

"A friend that you'd date if you could."

Draco swallowed. Hermione stared at him expectantly and he bit the inside of his jaw hard enough to draw blood. "…Yes…if I could. But I can't. So I won't, and I'm not." Silence drifted over them then as he sighed. "Hermione, I-"

"Let's just eat, Draco." Hermione said quickly and then casted her gaze at her plate where it remained for the rest of their lunch.

November 2010

"He doesn't love me." Astoria said as she angrily crossed her arms over her chest. Draco stared at her bemused as the counselor let his eyes linger across the pair. Hermione hadn't been the only one to suggest marriage counseling. Draco had been hearing it from his wife, from his mother, hell even his friends. Eventually he had caved, and now he was sitting next to Astoria and more bewildered than he had ever been in his life.

"He's never truly loved me." Astoria continued.

"How can you say that?" Draco asked her. "Seriously, how can you? I asked you to marry me for Merlin's sake. You don't do that unless you love the person."

Astoria scoffed. "Oh, please. Draco, you married me because it was the logical next step. I was the longest relationship you've ever had and you figured, well, I've been with her for this long, I'd might as well."

Draco let out an exasperated sigh and yanked on his hair. "Where is this all coming from?! And if you felt this way, why marry me in the first place?"

"Because I thought that you'd finally love me the way that you should." Astoria admitted. She then turned to the counselor and pointed a thumb back at Draco. "He talks in his sleep, you know. Mostly it's mumbles, but sometimes it's clear as day. 'She could never be you.'" Astoria said to Draco. Instead of angry eyes staring at him, they were ones of pure sadness and regret. "You've said that and not just once. There's someone out there that you love more than me, Draco. And as long as she's there, our marriage is never going to work."

"Well, Draco?" the counselor addressed him. "Is there someone else that you're seeing?"

"No!" Draco shouted. "There's no one. I've never cheated. Not once."

"Then who do you think you could have been referencing in your sleep?" the counselor asked. "Perhaps someone from your past?"

"There's no one." Draco said through gritted teeth. "You can ask me all bloody day and I'll say the same thing."

Astoria cut her eyes viciously at him. "You're unbelievable. You're so accustomed to lying to me that you've begun lying to yourself."

Astoria got up from her seat then and stormed off. Draco and the counselor was left alone then in pure silence. Well, no, not complete silence. The clock on the back wall was ticking away mercilessly and crossing off every galleon Draco was spending on this session.

"I don't want to push you, Draco." The counselor told him. "That's not what I'm here for. But Astoria is clearly upset at something very real."

Draco groaned. "She has no reason to be. I'm not going to leave her."

"In general? Or for someone in particular?"

It was Draco's turn now to cut his eyes dangerously at someone. The counselor consciously leaned back into his chair and cleared his throat. "I think we're done here for the day." He said with a nervous smile.

Draco nodded. "I think so too."

Hermione watched as Draco paced angrily up and down her living room. She had been more than shocked when he came through her fireplace not more than fifteen minutes ago. He never came to her home without either first asking if it was okay to do so or her Owling for him to come over. It wasn't like the old days when she lived alone and odds of her having company was low. She was married now and, as marriage usually dictated, she lived with her husband. Luckily for the both of them Ron was out with Harry playing in a friendly Quiditch match with coworkers.

Draco had been grumbling irritably the moment he had stepped through the emerald Floo flames. Hermione had simply been staring, listening, and frowning the more and more he talked.

"You know the reason why you're angry, don't you?" Hermione asked him. "You're upset because they're right. It's exactly what I told you when we had lunch months ago."

Draco stopped his pacing and stared at her as she continued talking. "Just imagine it. What if it was the other way around and Astoria spent countless hours away from home all the time?"

"She already does that. It's called shopping." He sneered. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Come on, be serious. I know how she feels."

Draco raised a brow. "Has Weasley ever…?"

"No," Hermione shook her head. "But I can imagine what it'd be like if he did. I wouldn't like it, Draco. And neither would you if the shoe was on the other foot."

With a frustrated sigh Draco plopped himself down on her sofa. "What am I going to do?"

"I think you know."

Draco looked at her and he reacted exactly the way she thought he might. "No," Draco replied firmly. "I'm not going to stop being friends with you just because Astoria's insecure."

"Insecure?" Hermione repeated. She rolled her eyes yet again and frowned. "You make it sound like she's angry over nothing. Draco, you love me. I love you too. This isn't a nothing. This is a something. As innocent as our relationship is-"

"I never said it was innocent." Draco interrupted. "We're friends, yes, but far from innocent. At least on my part. Merlin, I…" A guttural moan escaped his lips as he rose from the sofa he had recently thrown himself on. He ruffled his hair and stared at Hermione with absolute hurt in his eyes. "You're my best friend, Hermione, but I could kiss the hell out of you. Remember the night of your wedding in my suite? I didn't want you to leave. I wanted us to stay there. I wanted to forget that I was married, that you were getting married, and let us just be the two of us again. But I kept and still keep myself on a bloody leash around you. And I know I'm not the only one of us that feels this way."

Hermione guiltily stared at the ground. "…No, you're not." She then looked up at him and took a deep breath. "But I have a tighter leash than you do."

Draco scoffed. "Clearly,"

"What do you want me to say?" Hermione asked. "That I wish neither one of us was married?"

"I'd rather you say nothing and kiss me, but I know that you won't do either." Draco sighed and sat back down. He felt like an absolute miserable wreck. "…So, what now? I stop being friends with you to make Astoria happy and then I'm unhappy?"

"Astoria should be the one making you happy."

"You both make me happy."

Hermione pursed her lips and moved to sit next to him. She took his hands in hers and forced him to look her in the face. "You can't have your cake and eat it too, Draco. If things were different I… You…" She sighed and felt Draco squeeze her hands. "…We were never meant to be together. It's just how it's always been and why we've always just been friends. And we're going to stay that way. I love Ron and we're happy. You shouldn't give up what you have for something that you can't. And think of your son. You don't want Scorpius growing up in a broken home, do you?"

There was silence. Draco chuckled and stared down at their interlocked hands. "That's a low blow, Hermione. Playing the child card…"

Hermione shrugged and smiled. "I try."

Draco took a deep breath and nodded. "I guess we're going to have to see each other less then, huh?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, we are."

"…Fine. But," Draco began to smile. "If this is going to happen, I'm going to need a real reason to stop."

Hermione stared at him in confusion, but soon understood what he meant when she felt his lips on hers. The kiss was soft. It was sweet. And it was unexpected. Before Hermione could even properly react, Draco was pulling away, placing a hand on her cheek and letting his thumb gently caress it.

"I love you, Hermione." Draco said. "Even if you think you're crazier about your husband than you are about me."

Author's note: Hello everyone! I usually post on Wednesdays for this, but since I'll be busy tomorrow, figured I'd treat you all a day early :). Out of all the chapters, both already posted and pre-written, I feel for Draco most here. Just the mere fact that he has to make a choice, and does in fact make one, seems a bit unfair.

Thanks for all the support, guest reviewers included!

-WP