A/N: Alright guys! This time I'm gonna make this shorter because I do not have so much time! That's why I uploaded this chapter earlier than usual. I'd love to answer each one of you as I've been doing, but really I can't in this moment! I have exams, parties, presentations, family visitors from another city and a lot of things! So this time I'm gonna thank you in general, so sorry! It's so funny how mad you are at Susan, W and all that stuff! W needed to come back, I think; you still have to find out who it is or what that person is gonna do! About this new chapter... This time I'm not gonna say anything, I'll let you read and you then can tell me what you think! I just wish you can enjoy it! So, that's all I guess. No, actually not. I wanted to tell you that maybe I won't be able to update the next chapter on Saturday; in case I can't make it, I'm gonna upload it on Sunday! I wanted to let you know that, considering that you all know that Saturday is the day I upload new chapters. And I still don't know if you're gonna be alive or not! I mean, December 21 is next Friday! I'm just kidding and it was silly, I know! I'll just let you read! Enjoy and have a totally awesome week!

Teenage Dream – Part 21 – The coolest girl.

I was checking that Freckles wasn't going so far because I couldn't be tranquil whenever she was away, not after knowing that for some reason W always seemed to know where we were all the time. When I saw she sat on a bench and then Susan sat next to her, I felt relaxed and I finally looked at Karen, who was now nearer me and looking at the girls as well.

"Darren, why did you call her baby?" Karen asked still looking at the girls and I just looked at Karen serious.

I remembered quite well the last conversation we had; when she called Freckles a lot of awful things, when she made me choose between her and Freckles, when she treated me as if I was the worst friend on earth and when she said our friendship was over because of Freckles. Yeah, of course it was sad for me to have lost Karen as my friend; yeah, of course I wanted to be friends with her again because I loved her as my friend; but she said a lot of awful things, and I did my part as well, but at least I tried to talk to her while she was avoiding me all this time. So I had no idea why she wanted to talk to me again all of a sudden, and I had no idea why she was interested to know about me and Freckles now; as if she actually cared, please.

"Because I'm dating her." I answered curtly, looking at her fixedly and serious; almost challenging and expectant to see her reaction. Fortunately, Freckles wasn't near, so she didn't hear me saying I was her boyfriend, I knew she still didn't want it to be public.

"Are you serious, Darren?" She asked in disbelief, bewildered and almost in disgust. Well, that made me feel even more upset than I already was.

"Yes, I'm totally serious." I replied coldly.

"Why her, Darren? Why?" She asked again in disbelief.

"Because she's precious inside and outside; and because I love her for that as I've never loved someone before. Yeah, that's why is her." I answered looking at Karen fixedly and serious. Better if she did not dare to say anything bad about Freckles.

"Darren, what is wrong with you? You had something with that Mandy girl, the most popular and prettiest girl in school and you changed her for this girl? People are gonna start talking about this and is not gonna be something nice. I don't know what you're doing, Darren. You're so weird lately." Karen said a bit annoyed, shaking her head and frowning. And I felt even more upset.

"Oh yeah, Mandy. She's Freckles' sister, did you know that?" I asked almost ironically, trying to control my anger while Karen looked at me wide eyed as she shook her head slowly. "Yeah, she is. Anyway, it wasn't going to work and we both agreed that. Mandy is kind of happy for us, I guess. At least it was what she made me think. So yeah, I changed Mandy for that girl who is Freckles and I've never been happier. Maybe that's why you said I'm weird; because yeah, I was happy before, but it was nothing compared to now. I'm not acting weird; I'm acting like an actual happy guy in love." I said looking at Karen fixedly while she was still looking at me frowning. "And for the record, I don't give a shit if I'm dating with the most popular girl or the shyest girl in school; I don't care if I'm dating the prettiest or the ugliest, physically talking, girl in school. I just don't give a shit because that's not what it matters to me, Karen. I'm dating this girl, Freckles, because she drives me crazy with her kind heart and I love absolutely everything about her, all her strengths and weaknesses. So I don't give a shit about what people are gonna start talking, because actually it doesn't matter as long as I feel happy, as long as she feels happy too. People can talk and kiss my ass if they want; I just know I'm feeling great with her, so... What else can I ask for?" I asked looking challenging at her, letting her know that she would have to rinse her mouth out with soap before talking bad about Freckles.

"It's beautiful what you say, Darren. But sadly you're only talking about you and her and it's as if you're forgetting about your friends." She whispered looking down and I squinted in disbelief.

"What the fuck? What are you talking about Karen?" I asked incredulous. "I'm sorry, but as far as I know, I wasn't the one who forced a friend to choose between two people, I'm not the one who is thinking only about one person; and if I told you so, is because you asked about me and her; so do not misconstrue what I said and do not take my words out of context." I said mad, but still trying to control. It was hard, man. I couldn't believe I was coming to this point with one of my greatest friends; I never imagined that this could happen.

"Excuse me, are you reproaching me something, Darren?" She asked upset, looking at me frowning and squinting.

"No, I'm not. I'm just reminding you that you were the one who said that our friendship was over because, for you, I had the obligation to choose between you and her. So tell me now, who is the one who is thinking about oneself? You or me? Think about it." I asked rhetorically, looking at her fixedly and still upset. I was expecting her to insult or to yell at me; but instead, she looked down kinda sad.

"I'm sorry, Darren. What I did was wrong, I know it and I'm sorry." She said lowly, still looking down and I started calming my anger.

"And if you knew it, why wouldn't you talk to me when I looked for you to try to solve our problems? Why, Karen? Because I tried and you wouldn't talk, you kept ignoring me. And that hurt me, Karen; because I thought our friendship was stronger than a stupid dispute about a stupid thing that came to happen because of a stupid anonymous person." I said a bit upset but also dreary.

"I know and I'm sorry! I was scared, Darren! After we had that dispute that day, I kept receiving those text messages; threatening me about that if I dared to talk to you someone was going to hurt me and to hurt you. What could have I done, Darren? What?" She asked in an exclamation, looking at me desperate and nervous. I also looked at her nervous... So she kept receiving those text messages and I didn't know, all this time she was alone on this. Oh man, I felt terrible. "And right now I'm afraid that the supposed W is hearing this, I'm afraid that this person is gonna hurt us because of this!"

"Hey, Karen..." I said softening my voice and changing completely my bad temper, now feeling pity for her and also scared. I placed my hands on her shoulders to reassure her, because she was about to cry. "Once I told you that I wasn't going to let W to hurt you, I'm keeping my word."

"Will you really do that?" She asked with teary voice, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Yes, I will." I assured firmly.

"But... But..." She babbled with the same teary voice, now shedding some tears.

"But what?" I asked softly, caressing her shoulders to reassure her.

"This W person told me that... This person threatened me with..." She babbled again and I barely could understand what she said.

"With what?" I asked kind of concerned. I needed to know.

"This person told me that if I dared to talk to you while you were still with that girl..."

"Freckles." I corrected her but softly.

"Yes, that Freckles girl... W told me that was going to make me suffer by... by hurting my family, Darren!" She exclaimed scared and sorrowful and I looked at her frowning. "And that's not all. Also told me that was going to... to... to hurt you and Cerina. This person told me that if I wanted everything to be alright, the solution was only not to talk to you never again or to make you walk away from that girl. And I don't know what to do because I want you to be happy and you recently said that you were happy with that girl; but I also miss you, Darren. I need my friend. I feel lonely." She cried and I looked at her freeze. No, I couldn't do that but neither had I wanted to stop talking to her. Dammit, she was my friend and Freckles was my girlfriend; I loved them both, this was so unfair, man.

"Karen..." I whispered letting out a nervous and scared giggle. "Please, let's don't go over this again. I won't choose between you and Freckles. I miss you as my friend too, but Freckles is very but very important to me; so I'm not gonna choose. What I can promise you is not to let W to hurt you nor anybody you love. But I'm staying with the two of you and that is something you need to understand." I said very slowly and looking at her fixedly. "Can you take it?"

"I don't know, Darren. I don't think so." She whispered looking down and I felt bad. I really thought she was going to say yes.

"I'm so sorry, Karen. I love you; but Freckles... She means a lot to me and I love her so fucking much. It was really hard for me to be with her as I am now and there's no way I'm walking away from her because I simply can't. And it hurts me a lot to say this, but... I love Freckles with all my heart, Karen; so... I'm staying with her. I wish you could change your mind, because I already promised to try to do my best not to let anybody hurt you." I said now looking down and feeling really bad for what I was saying, but... I really couldn't be away from Freckles.

"Really, Darren?" She asked with teary and choked voice, still looking down. I knew she was crying but I couldn't look at her.

"Yeah, sorry." I whispered feeling even worse.

"You really love that girl, she's lucky." She whispered with the same choked voice. "And I want you to be happy, after all. I... I'm scared, Darren... But if you really promise me that you won't..." She started saying and I looked up to her. "That you won't leave me alone and that you will kind of protect me... If you really promise that... I think... I'll do that for you, just to see you happy with her but also being my friend as we used to be. If you really promise."

"I really promise, Karen." I said smiling kindly and looking at her fondly.

"Thank you." She said in tears and I hugged her tightly. I hugged my beloved friend. "I missed you, fool."

"I missed you too, silly." I whispered giggling softly while still hugging her. "You'll see everything is going to be fine; we're stronger while we're all together."

"I hope so." She said breaking the hug to look at me, smiling slightly. "I should… I really should come back… Susan and I were doing a project and we were just walking because we took a break and now it's late… I… I'm happy we could finally talk."

"I'm happy too, Karen." I said smiling friendly. "And I do understand you have to go. Now I'm glad to say to you see you tomorrow."

"Yes… See you tomorrow, Darren." She said smiling kindly.

I stayed there, seeing how Karen walked to Susan and how they both waved her hands to greet me. I was doing fine, this was going well; I had Freckles with me and finally I could talk to my friend Karen and we were fine now. Yeah, it was a great day. I walked to Freckles smiling widely, but she wasn't looking up, so I just sat next to her, feeling pretty well. I wrapped an arm around her and that was when I noticed she was trembling, so I looked intently at her. She was completely pale and she had this shock expression on her face, looking at nowhere in particular. The image of her in the guest room when she got really sick and she had to be hospitalized came up into my mind.

"Baby, are you alright?" I asked concerned and scared. She didn't answer and she didn't even look at me. "Baby, what's wrong?" Once again, she didn't answer and I was really freaking out now. What the hell could have happened? "Freckles, please, answer me!" I exclaimed loudly and desperately. So this time she looked at me in silence. Her eyes were bigger than ever and her body wouldn't stop trembling; she seemed to be indeed in shock. "What is happening?"

"W." She murmured with trembling voice.

"Oh no, fuck. Has W sent you a text message again?" I asked annoyed but scared because she was really pale. She only shook her head in response. Oh man, she needed to tell me what was going on. "So what, then?"

"Remember I told you I had to tell you new things?" She murmured again and I nodded.

Of course I remembered it, when she told me that and I asked her to forget about W only for that night; it was just that things happened in between so then we never could talk about it. But why would she tell me that right now? Why was she doing fine and now she was like this?

"Well, there are a lot of things that happened that you don't know, and I don't know how to start explaining you." She started saying nervous and I squeezed her shoulder to reassure her.

"Hey, we can talk about this later, if you want. Please, calm down." I said softly, looking at her, even though she wasn't looking at me anymore.

"No, if it's not now then I don't know when, because it seems I can't find the proper time to tell you this." She said looking down and then she looked into my eyes. "Do you want to know or not? I mean, do you still want to find out who W is? Because if not, I completely understand but I want you to tell me the truth because..."

"Hey, hey, baby. Calm down." I interrupted her when I noticed she started rambling nervously. "I really do want to know and I do really want to find out who W is. I just don't want you to feel scared and nervous as you are now. Just that." I said smoothly and she looked at me still with her eyes bigger than ever. "Listen, if you don't know how to start explaining me that, it doesn't matter; just explain me the way you want and I'll try my best to get what you try to say; but just relax, alright?"

"Alright." She sighed and then she took a deep breath. "Nothing is what it seems." She assured firmly and I looked at her confused. Well, it wasn't a good way to start. "When I couldn't remember anything at all, you know I used to hang out with Brian and his friends." She said looking away and I nodded, frowning just because of the thought of that. "Right. When I was hanging out with them, they said things that I can remember. They talked to me about W, but they told me that you were W. In that time I believed them, hence is the reason why I treated you in a bad way during that time. Of course I don't think you're W now, because I remembered everything, fortunately. So yeah, they tried to convince me that you were W so they could get information of you; they kinda brainwashed me. It explains the plan of being friendly with you when I couldn't remember you. Sorry for that." She said looking at me sadly.

"It's okay, we talked about it and I forgave you." I said smiling softly but frowning because my brain was like processing all the new information. Still, I couldn't get what her point was. So far, she didn't say anything weird that could help us to find out who W was. "So... Is there something else?" I asked cautiously and she nodded, looking away again.

"Jim is definitely involved on this grim game of W. He was the main person who tried to convince me that you were W." She whispered, but she wasn't saying anything that we didn't know already. That was more than obvious. "What you don't know is who else was involved."

"So...? Who else is involved?" I asked gingerly and curious after a short silence.

"Dean is involved." She whispered deep in thought and I laughed softly in disbelief while she looked at me frowning.

"That's absurd, Freckles. Dean is my friend since years and he's a good person." I said still in disbelief.

"Well, but he's involved. It may explain why W knew a lot of things about you and Jen; it was because all this time Dean was helping W." She said again, insistent.

"No, Freckles. No way. Dean is really my friend; we've been friends since I was a freshman, so I know him. And he knows a lot about me and Jen; but W threatened us with things that Dean has no idea; because even though he's our friend, we didn't share our most private things. Just, it's ridiculous what you're saying." I said shaking my head, incredulous and when I looked at her and I saw her hurt eyes, I regretted for being this incredulous. But I couldn't help it; seriously, there was no way that Dean could be involved.

"Darren, I'm telling you what I had to go through while I had this memory loss. Dean was also there, trying to convince me that you were W. I remember exactly his words. He said that I needed to keep going to the drama class and I needed to pretend I was your friend so then they'll get more information about your plans. He said that and I told him that I treated you in a crappy way minutes ago, so you wouldn't want to talk to me; so then he gave me an advice. He told me that I should tell you that I was going to do whatever it takes if you only could forgive me, that you were going to fall. Dean himself said that, not Jim." She said still deep in thought, now telling me this in a sad way. I still couldn't believe that.

"Maybe you're just confusing things, you were feeling lost that time. Dean can't..."

"I'm not confusing things, Darren." She interrupted me abruptly, looking at me bewildered. "The fact I couldn't remember my past in that moment, it doesn't mean that I wasn't aware of what they were saying or who said those things. I forgot my past, yeah; but I can remember perfectly what happened whilst I couldn't remember. I really thought you trusted me." She said now looking at me disappointed. Whoa, that was a terrible way to look at me; I've never seen her disappointed of me like this.

"Hey no, baby." I said looking deeply into her eyes.

"Do not call me baby if you aren't able to trust me; and do not call me your girlfriend if you won't believe what I say when I'm being honest. If you can't do that, then we aren't anything. After all, every relationship is based on trusting. If you can't trust now, you won't trust later and we're starting in a bad way." She said still disappointed and I started feeling really bad. How could this have ended on this? "And I'm not forcing you to believe me on this, because this is something you should feel. What I'm trying to say is that it makes me feel bad the fact that you're thinking that I'm lying about this, because, someway, it means that you don't know me that well." She said with cracked voice, looking down. Man, her words hurt me.

"You aren't getting this, Freckles." I said and my voice trembled. "I do know you and I... I believe you, but... Oh shit. Freckles, is hard for me to think that Dean is involved. He is really a good person and he's been my friend..."

"Since years. I know it, you already said that. And it's fine. After all, you know him better than me; and, after all, you know him since years ago and you know me only since August." She said serious, still looking down. Oh no, no; she was getting this all wrong. "Maybe it was a bad idea to tell you this."

"No, Freckles. Oh my God. You're not understanding; please, stop overstating things."

"Am I overstating things?" She asked in disbelief and hurt, now looking into my eyes. Oh shit, I didn't like how this was developing.

"No. Maybe I expressed myself in a bad way. I know what you may be thinking and that's not what I meant." I said slowly, looking gingerly at her.

"So what's what you meant, Darren?" She asked as if she was tired, sighing.

"Okay, I'll start over again." I sighed, because I just didn't know how to let her know that I did trust her, but this was something hard to believe. "I do trust you and I know that you aren't lying, because you can't lie; whenever you lie, you play with your fingers and you weren't doing that. But please, try to understand me. Dean is my friend, I know him and we shared a lot of things together. So is kind of weird to hear that he's involved. It's like... as if I suddenly tell you that your sister is also involved on this but you never saw her doing something unusual. How would you feel? Would you believe me the first time I tell you this, even if you trust me because I'm your boyfriend?" I asked looking fixedly into her eyes and she babbled nervously before looking down, frowning and thoughtful.

"No, I guess I wouldn't." She finally answered in a whisper.

"Well, it's exactly like that how I'm feeling. I do trust you, I know that you won't lie to me; but is kinda shocking to figure this out all of a sudden of a person that I consider as one of my closest friends. Anyway, even if it still seems odd for me to believe it, I choose to believe you and we'll find out together if it's in fact like that." I said looking into her eyes and holding her hands.

"I don't want to force you to believe me..."

"Baby, you're not forcing me. I truly believe you. Maybe... maybe W forced Dean to do this, for some reason. I don't know, maybe W threatened him to do this. I have no idea." I said thoughtful, trying to find a logical explanation to why Dean would do something like that.

"Talking about W forcing and threatening people to do things... There's something else..." She said shyly and insecure and I looked at her intrigued.

"What's that?"

"Brian... Well, Brian actually is not a bad guy." She said with bated breath, looking down and I started to look at her kind of suspiciously. Her reaction was weird. Why would she say something as preposterous as that?

"That's so nonsensical, Freckles." I said thunderstruck and she frowned, hurt. Oh dude, I was doing it again, I was making her feel bad again. "How come you can say Brian is not a bad guy after all he has done to you?"

"Well, he isn't. He... While Jim and Dean were trying to convince me that you were W, he said that I shouldn't believe them; that maybe you were my real friend. He was the only one who gave me another point of view of how things could be while the others were just brainwashing me. He was the one who encouraged me to try to solve things with you, he was the only one who told me that you seemed to really care about me, that you weren't a bad person. So, what kind of ally of W would say that about you?" She asked looking deeply into my eyes.

"A really good ally, actually." I answered quietly, still in disbelief for what she was saying. "He would pretend to be a good person, so you'd think that he is actually trying to see you're doing fine with me just to then get your trusting, so then you'll just tell him how good we're doing now, all we do or all we don't do, just to tell that to W. It's the same that Jim and... Dean tried to convince you to do with me."

"It's not like that, Darren. He told me things. He told me that W was also threatening him with his father's job and a lot of private things. And he was being honest; I saw it in his eyes." She said very convinced and firmly.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Freckles! He was pretending and he's getting what he wanted, you to believe him." I exclaimed exasperated and she looked at me a bit annoyed. "Brian is a fucking asshole. Freckles, he beat you; he beat you and you ended up at hospital. That scar you have in your jaw now? That is because of Brian's fault. He treated you like shit all this time. How the hell can you think he's a good person? How?" I asked kind of mad.

"Because W forced him to do all of those things. It's not his fault, he didn't want to do all of that; he had no options and I do understand him and I forgive him, because I know how W threatened him, Darren. That's why." She replied annoyed and that was getting me on my nerves.

"I can't believe it, Freckles. He's manipulating you and you're being so damn fool." I said really madly.

"So am I a fool for you? Is that what I am for you? Only because I decided to forgive a guy who has been forced to do things he didn't want? Just as you've been forced to do things you didn't want? As Jen's been forced to do things she didn't want? As me? Am I a fool for that?" She asked really upset.

"Yes, you're a fool for that." I said coldly because I was really mad at the way Brian was manipulating her.

"Good to know, Darren." She replied after a while, very coldly and then she stood up.

"What? Are we also gonna fight because of the stupid of Brian? Are you gonna walk away as you always do when you get mad because you're too coward to deal with our problems?" I yelled angry while she was walking.

When she turned around to look at me after I said that, I realized I crossed the line and said things that I didn't mean to say. Fuck, the way she was looking at me now was truly scary; I've never seen her like this mad; her face was totally transformed; she didn't seem to be the sweet Freckles I knew. She walked to me really angry and I felt scared. Man, I was feeling scared of Freckles. What the heck?

"Do you think I'm a coward? Do you think I can't deal with this stupid thing, Darren? Really? I've been through worst things and this is nothing compared to that. Do not call me coward because you've no idea what I have to go through every single damn day of my life. I can be insecure, I can be stupid, I can be shy and I can be afraid all the time; but I'm not a coward. I deal with my fears day by day and what you know about me it's only a part, you don't know everything about me and my past; so don't talk about things you don't know. And do you really think I can't deal with this? Well, here I am. Spit it out, tell me all the things you've been reproaching in secret about me; tell me all the things you never dared to tell me because you thought I was going to break. Tell me it all; face me, Darren. Right now. I've been through worse things, so one more thing that you can tell me that could hurt me, won't make a difference." She yelled in a rage and I noticed how all the veins of her neck were showing because of the anger. I was there looking at her scared, aghast and feeling very little and helpless in front of her commanding presence. What was this? I've never seen her like this and I couldn't even react, I was shocked. "Come on, Darren. I'm here to deal with this, so spit it out!" She yelled again and I felt as if I couldn't talk, as if I couldn't move. Nevertheless, I stood up and I walked to her, very gingerly.

"Freckles, can we talk about this?" I asked faint-heartedly.

"We're talking already, Darren!" She yelled in anger.

"No, we aren't talking; we're arguing and I don't want it." I said distressed and my voice cracked. Yeah, of course this was making me feel terrible; I didn't want to argue with her, I couldn't stand it. She huffed and sighed, but she changed her face; now she wasn't looking scary. "This went out of control and I really don't want to argue with you. I'm sorry by the way I treated you. You aren't a fool; you're just so kind-hearted that you can't understand how someone can pretend to be someone that isn't. If I called you a fool it was because I'm feeling so upset with Brian, for making you believe things that aren't, because I'm scared that he can hurt you and I don't want it to happen. It was because I was scared and not because you're a fool." I said softly, looking into her eyes and now holding her hands, while she was calming. "I didn't mean to call you a coward; I called you like that because I... because I'm this stupid guy who sometimes is so proud to apologize for his mistakes. I know you aren't a coward because I always thought you're very strong for being able to move on despite all the shitty things that happen to you. I don't want to reproach you anything, because I have nothing to reproach you; because you've always been this incredible wondrous person; so wondrous that sometimes I think I don't deserve you." I said looking deeply and fondly into her eyes, while my voice cracked because of the thrill. Now she was looking at me in a different way, now her eyes were teary, but she didn't say anything at all. "I know I don't know everything about you and your past, I know I still don't know what terrible things you've been through in your life. But I wish that someday you could open your heart to me completely; and I wish you could have room in your heart for me, so you'd let me to go through this with you. I wish I could help you more and I wish I could make you feel loved as I'd like you to feel. But sometimes I'm so jerk that I can't find the way to show you all I feel for you that is too much. I love you so much and I feel terrible because I can't show you that, I can't find the way to make you feel that. But I love you." I said now shedding some tears, still holding her hands tightly.

She was also shedding some tears now and, after a while we remained looking into each other's eyes, she pulled me into a tight and warm hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her head on my chest; as I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my head on her shoulder; both of us still sobbing. I really thought I could lose her seconds ago, but with this hug, I felt relaxed and sobbing like this was the only way I could let out my feelings.

"I'm sorry, Darren. I didn't mean to say all of those things, to have treated you like that; you didn't deserve it. I'm a terrible girlfriend." She said still sobbing on my chest and I started caressing her hair and rubbing her back. I was trying to reassure her because I didn't want her to feel guilty; but anyway, I couldn't avoid a slight grin when I heard she called herself my girlfriend.

"Why do you call yourself a terrible girlfriend? All I witnessed minutes ago was you, standing up for something. What I witnessed, it was you being human being. All that distress, all that anger; those were just the proof that you aren't feeling good. And you know what? It's not bad to feel bad sometimes, actually is something normal; so I'm glad you showed it. You see, being angry isn't bad, it means that you are still alive, and that you can still feel emotions when things don't go well. We cannot be happy all the time in our lives; that would be hypocrite. I'm glad you let me see you like that, because it means you do care; and I'm glad you let me see it because I wasn't aware of what I was doing wrong, so now I'd be able to change it for us. Hence, you aren't a terrible girlfriend; you're a great girlfriend." I whispered while I was still trying to reassure her. All I said, it was true. She looked into my eyes with teary eyes but not sobbing anymore, now resting her chin on my chest and I looked down to look into her eyes as well; nevertheless, she couldn't say anything. "I'd like to know what is going through your mind now; I'd like to understand why you aren't feeling good. I want to make this with you; I don't wanna leave you alone with this entire burden you're carrying upon your shoulders. I wanna be the guy who's gonna take that entire burden for you when you're feeling tired to keep moving on. I wanna know what is happening to you, baby. Please, let me know."

"It's not only one thing, Darren..." She replied looking down.

"We have time." I said smiling slightly, letting her know that it didn't matter for how long we would have to talk, I was willing to listen to her; I wanted that. "Why don't we just sit over there and we talk?"

She looked deeply into my eyes for a while before nodding in agreement. So we walked to the bench where we were sitting minutes before. We stayed in silence for a while; I stayed silent because I was giving her all the time she needed to start talking, and she was silent because she seemed to be thinking how to start telling me all she had to tell. Then she started telling me about her unknown past for me, she started telling me all the differences that her father was used to make between her and her sister Amanda; she started telling me the way her father was all the time controlling her life, forcing her all the time to be better and get the best scores in school, forcing her to learn how to be competitive, teaching her how money was more important than anything else. She told me how much she disagreed with this, but she never did anything about it, because she was scared since her father was a rancorous and very prideful person. She told me that she always did what her father told her to do, because after all, he was still her father and she loved him, but also because her father was a bossy and strict man since her grandfather was a soldier, a man who died in the Second World War. She told me also about her mother, she told me she was the only one who could make her father change his mind, she was the only one who could calm down her father; but sadly she was never home because of work; she was all the time working and she was always away from San Francisco because of conferences. She told me how she was raised with her grandmother, who was sick because of the depression to have lost her husband in the War. She told me how she had to take pills to keep the awareness of reality; she told me how she was a violent person every time she forgot to take the pills. She told me that in that time when she and her sister were living with her grandmother, the two sisters were very united and they supported each other. But then she told me they came back to live in their house with her mother and father, and she told that family problems started happening. She told me the way her mother and father argued all the nights when they thought that the sisters were sleeping; she told me all the times her father left the house because of those disputes; and she told me the way that she and Amanda started to grow apart because of those problems. After she told me all about her family past, she started telling me the way she was discriminated the first day she started high school. She told me about all the awful things that people have done to her; of course not as terrible as W was doing, but terrible at the end. She told me why she started being the way she was, the same way which was the reason why people discriminated her. She told me that she was the person she was now because it was the only way out of her problems and confusion she could find. It was the only way she could keep her mind busy and forget about the bad things; but right when she was trying to forget the bad things of her family, bad things started happening to her in high school, it was like a vicious circle. She told me that it didn't matter how much she tried, she couldn't overcome those problems for some frustrating and unknown reason. She told me she tried to change this year; she admitted me that when she started the first day of school, she was decided to start changing the way people mistreated her but anything went as expected; instead, things got worse with this issue of W. She told me that nevertheless, not everything was bad in her life; she also had very good memories and good things happened to her; she told me that Jen and I were one of those really good things in her life. But she told me that as much as she tried, the bad things were always above the good things and that was sickening. She told me that she had no idea how to change things, but she wanted that change; only that she didn't know how to start because people let her down so deep that she was losing her hopes and encouragement.

"I remind myself all the time that I shouldn't let them to make me feel down for what they say, but I fail all the time and I can't avoid it. Words can hurt you so deep in your heart, you know? And we try to convince ourselves that they won't hurt us again with their rough words, but we're lying to ourselves, because it keeps hurting no matter what you do or not. It just hurts and it cannot be reversed. It's sad to think that actually we're not what we are because it's what we wanted to be. It's sad to realize that actually we are a collection of events that came to happen to us, a collection of rough or nice words people told us ever, a collection of what the world showed us. It's sad because you come to think that maybe we don't have control of ourselves as much as we think it's like that. So then, how far are we really free? How far are we owners of our own decisions? It's a doubt I've ever had and I still can't figure out its answer." She said with teary voice.

Surprisingly, she didn't shed any tears and I couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or not. Both or she was overcoming her problems or she was just too let down to keep trying to overcome it, so she just gave up. She made me feel all her hidden anguish and concerns just by the way she was saying it all with such honesty and openness. She was opening her heart to me, as I always wished. The point was that I wanted to help her, to support and reassure her; but I didn't know how to do that after all of those confessions. I didn't know what to say because I never expected to hear things like that. I really needed to say something, because now she was looking down and I knew she was feeling kind of ashamed for telling me it all with genuineness. Surely she didn't tell this to anybody, maybe I was a very important person to her; and it wasn't fair that the first time she dared to say it all out loud, she wouldn't get anything as a response, anything at all because I was this jerk who couldn't find the words to say.

"Whoa." It was the only stupid thing I could say. Whoa. Really? "The truth is, I'm one of those few people who actually care when I ask 'What's wrong?' The only problem is that usually I have no idea what to say afterward or how to make it better. I try not to use phrases like 'That sucks' or 'I'm sorry', but I still can never find the right words to say. But I promise, I'll always listen. I guess that's all I can do."

"Thank you, that's all I can ask for. So, really, thanks." She replied in a whisper, smiling slightly but still looking down. No, she couldn't feel like that. How would she say that it was all she could ask for? That wasn't fair. I stayed silent for a long time, just thinking about all I wanted to say, but I was having troubles to express it.

"Freckles..." I whispered awkwardly, holding her hands and she looked up to me. Yeah, now that she looked at me with those big eyes seeking for a hint of hope, I figured out a way to tell her what I was thinking. "You cannot change how people treat you or what they say about you, it's impossible. What you can do is to change the way you react to it. So I do think that we're not a collection of what other people say about us or how they treat us, but precisely we're a collection of how we react to those actions or events. I think that when you come to start assimilating this, then you'll find your answer. That is what is gonna define if you're owner of your own decisions or not, when you're gonna have the control of yourself. And from that moment and on, words won't stop you from doing what you want."

"I wish I could be less dramatic with fewer problems and be, instead, more cheerful and simple for you. I don't like to be always that kind of girl who you have to cheer up and reassure all the time." She whispered, looking intensely into my eyes.

"I wouldn't like you in any other way, different of how you are. This girl I have in front of me now? I fell in love with her just the way she is. If she were any different, simple like other girls, then most definitely I wouldn't be so madly in love as I am now." I said smiling fondly and caressing her cheek sweetly, while she was looking at me with bright eyes, smiling just as fondly.

"Thanks for loving me like that." She said smiling shyly at me, but still in a very sweet way. "I... I love you, Dare." She whispered shyly but in a way that made my heart skip a beat.

Whoa man, she never said that in this wonderful way. I couldn't help it, man; I had this extraordinary need to kiss her. And this was the first time that we both leaned to kiss each other at exactly the same time. It was a very gentle but long kiss, it started out a bit tentatively as I felt her out, and it finished lingering. I felt so much emotion connected to it, that I was really very surprised with myself because I usually don't get emotionally attached too easily. But with her, everything was different, nothing was as usual and I loved it. When we parted, I looked deeply into her eyes and neither of us said something. While I was staring her, I wondered how I could have ended up loving her this much; I wondered why she was the girl, my girl. Months ago I had no idea who she was, and look at me now; I can't stop feeling this tingling sensation in my tummy whenever I'm near her or whenever I think about her. I would have never imagined that a person like Freckles could take my breath away, literally. Man, what is this feeling? Why do I feel so damn weird? It was almost like being sick, but with the difference that it was a pleasant feeling. Why sick? Because I had this pressure in my chest; I could barely control my body because I seemed to be like floating, my body wouldn't stop trembling and shivering and every part of my body was lighter; my heart wouldn't stop beating faster than usual and I wouldn't stop having palpitations; my head was about to explode because I couldn't tell the difference between reality and imagination; because, to be true, I just didn't know what this all was. But, contradictorily, all of those feelings were just so amazing and agreeable. Was this normal? Was I going crazy? The only certain thing was that undoubtedly I could stay lost in this moment forever, with her, always with her.

"Always." I whispered while I was dumbfounded looking at her. Of course, I never meant to say it out loud.

"What? Why did you say always?" Freckles asked curious and confused and I felt very ashamed.

"Nothing, nothing... I was just thinking about something." I replied embarrassed, blushing slightly as she smiled amused. After a while, I looked at her, feeling a bit nervous. "Baby... I want to show you something. I think this moment is accurate, considering what we just talked about..." I started saying shyly.

"Yeah? What's that?" She asked looking at me curiously. Her look was so intense that I felt even shyer. So simple that only she had that effect on me. Me? Shy? It was ridiculous, but none of my feelings had sense with her and that fact was kind of fantastic.

"Well, uhm... Do you remember the night we went to the Golden Gate Bridge, when you remembered everything?" I asked awkwardly, not knowing how to start telling her what I had for her.

"I do." She replied frowning, still intrigued and curious.

"At one point of the night we pretended not to know each other, remember?" I asked once again, if not more awkwardly. She only smiled slightly and nodded. "Alright. Do you remember what we talked about in that moment?"

"Oh well, you said a lot of things. I remember you telling me about a dangerous werewolf." She answered amused and I looked down, shaking my head and giggling softly. Man, I couldn't believe how many silly things I could say sometimes.

"Not that." I said still giggling and she looked at me even more amused, now biting her lower lip. "The other thing..."

"Let me think..." She said thoughtful, looking up. "Yeah, we talked about college and that this is your last year in high school."

"Yes. But there was a reason why we were talking about college..." I said insistent, still not knowing how to manage this conversation, even though it was me the one who started it.

"Because you were scared?" She asked frowning, apparently trying hard to figure out what my point was.

"No, not because of that." I replied shaking my head energetically.

"Darren, why are you rambling like this? Are you nervous or something?" She asked still frowning and confused.

"No, I'm not." I answered quickly on the defensive; but then I looked away because that was a lie. "Well actually yes, I'm kinda nervous but because...oh fuck." I exclaimed frustrated. Why was this being so hard? I've been in worse situations.

"Let's do something. Why don't you just tell me what your point is? So then is gonna be less awkward. After all, I don't bite." She simply said, shrugging.

"Oh, really? Because earlier it wasn't me the one biting an ear." I answered now amused and looking at her fixedly and mischievously, raising an eyebrow.

"That was the only exception." She replied laughing out loud, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." I said mischievously, shaking my head. Then I sighed, trying to finally say what I wanted. "Fine. What I was trying to make you remember, was the thing we talked about music and how you asked me if I ever wrote my own songs."

"Oh yes, of course I remember it!" She exclaimed, nodding energetically in a very cute way. She was like a child, so very spontaneous, who could get excited even with the smallest things. "I was so impressed about it, when you told me all the instruments you can play; and your awesome voice... Yes, I remember. You didn't like when I called you a musician. I thought it was absurd the fact that you didn't like it, considering how talented you are." She said and I felt how I started blushing, because of the excessive way she flattered me.

"Well, yes, that's because I'm not a musician yet and not because I didn't like it. I've got a lot to learn before, I've already explained you that. Okay, okay, but the point wasn't that; it was about writing my own songs." I said trying to get straight to the point now.

"Yes, you told me that you tried to do it, but you never could finish a song; because you had so many ideas but you just didn't know how to connect them all or something like that. Am I wrong?" She asked innocently, looking at me. Fortunately, she remembered something, so now it was easier to explain what I wanted to show her.

"No, you're right; it was something like that." I answered quietly, now feeling a bit less nervous. "The point is that in that time I didn't tell you something, because it wasn't proper in that moment."

"What is so?" She asked curiously.

"That I actually wrote a song. I mean, I have a lot of unfinished songs, but I finished writing one." I finally admitted. I still wasn't sure if I should show her what I had but, after all, she seemed to be very interested about knowing this kind of things. "And that is what I wanted to show you." I said shyly, blushing slightly and looking down. "I mean... You really seemed to be interested about knowing those kinds of things about me... And I need to hear some kind of opinion... Well, I didn't show anyone this song, but I thought that maybe... Well, that maybe you could be the first to hear that; if you want of course." I said rambling like a jerk, feeling very awkward and stupid.

"Are you serious?" She asked excited, so that I looked into her eyes. Apparently, her face lit up when I said so and her eyes brightened, as she was smiling widely. "I would love to hear that song, Dare."

"Really?" I asked now smiling just as widely as her. I loved the way she seemed to be very excited and happy for this.

"Of course! I want to hear that, Dare! Oh my god, I can't believe I'm gonna be the first one to hear that!" She jumped excited as a child and I couldn't help it but laughing softly because of her cuteness.

"Okay!" I said still giggling as I looked for my ukulele in my backpack. When I pulled it out, Freckles looked at me frowning and amused.

"What is that, Darren?"

"A ukulele, duh." I answered shrugging.

"I know what it is. I mean, how on earth can you have a ukulele in your backpack? Who does that?" She asked in disbelief still amused and I chuckled.

"Only me, I guess?" I said just as amused, shrugging.

"Geez, you're weird." She said amused.

"Oh yeah, you got that right, baby." I laughed softly as I started to tune the ukulele. "Okay, this song you're gonna listen... Well, I must to say that... Uhm..." I started saying nervous as I noticed she was smiling excited and amused at the same time. I looked deeply into her beautiful eyes and I knew I needed to admit it. "You were my muse." I admitted and she looked at me wide-eyed, puzzled. She tried to say something, but no sound came out from her mouth. "Actually, I wrote it as if it was you the one singing it. It's kind of weird... You were my inspiration, I always wanted to write a song inspired on you but I never dared, because I was still confused about my feelings; but once I decided to do it, it amazed me the way I could write it so fluently and easily. It never happened to me, so that's why I'm saying you're my muse. Damn, you really are."

"I... Wow, you left me speechless. I'm not sure what to say, Dare..." She babbled, still puzzled and I smiled widely and sweetly at her.

"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to listen to it, and then you can tell me what you think about it." I said still smiling. "The song is called the coolest girl."

I started playing the ukulele as Freckles sat on the bench cross legged, facing me to look how I played it, with a huge smile on her face. She couldn't be any cuter; she was the first person to get so excited about me playing something and it meant a lot to me. And I really wished she could like the song that I wrote for her; that I wrote as if she was the one singing it.

All my dreams

I'm chasing after,

They don't need

all this laughter.

I take a grain of salt,

stiff upper lip.

It's not their fault

I'm not as hip.

Wake up kid, you know you're more than this.

I'm the smartest person

that I've ever met.

So why do I allow myself to

possibly forget

There's so much I know how to do,

so much more than all of you.

The only thing I wish I knew

was how to make them see

the girl that I can be.

I am

the coolest girl in the whole wide world

I know it

but can't show it at all.

I am

sick and tired

of low, not higher

places, where I should belong.

Well, it's about time I proved them wrong.

So give me a shot

to show what I've got!

I'm a helluva whole lot more

Than this frizzy hair,

these frumpy clothes I wear,

though I rock 'em like nobody you've seen before

'Cause I am

the coolest girl in the whole wide world

I know it

below it all.

I am

done with losin',

on with choosin'

The coolest girl on the face of the planet,

The coolest bitch on earth, goddammit!

The coolest chick you've ever seen or heard!

So you can try to bring me down,

but sorry guys, I'm stickin' around!

I've thought about it, and I've found

that I am

the coolest girl!

Yeah!

I sang all the song, making some mistakes because I still had to practice it; but singing it with a huge smile and kinda amused, looking at her sometimes to see if she was liking it or not. I thought that maybe she liked it because she was also looking at me with a huge smile, moving her shoulders to the beat of the music. When I stopped to think about it, I've never seen her dancing and I'd really love to dance with her. Well, maybe sometime I was going to invite her to dance, even if it is only the two of us. So when I finished singing the song, she was looking at me with a bright smile, apparently very excited.

"So?" I asked shyly, looking intensely at her.

"I think I'm your biggest fan! Can I get an autograph? Can I get a picture with you?" She asked bouncing on the bench and I burst out laughing.

"I can sign you an autograph, I only need a pen." I answered, continuing with this kind of joke or not joke, I didn't know. I was about to put aside my ukulele but I saw that Freckles handed me a pen and I looked at her amused and amazed. "Alright..." I said grabbing the pen, still amused. And I did it, I signed my ukulele and I handed it to her, who was now looking at me as if I were crazy. "Here you have. A signed ukulele for my biggest fan. With love, Darren Criss."

"Are you insane? You shouldn't have signed the ukulele! Oh my god, I feel so guilty now." She said frowning, not receiving the ukulele.

"Come on, keep it. I want to give it to you, so then I can teach you how to play it. Please, accept my humble gift as a token of my gratitude." I said smiling sweetly but she was still looking at me frowning and kind of stunned.

"No, I can't accept it. That thing must be very expensive and it's yours. Besides, I already told you that I gave up on learning how to play an instrument. I'm really bad, I... I can't take it, Darren." She said shaking her head, frowning.

"Hey, first of all, what's mine is yours. And you never had me as a teacher, so before giving up on it, you should try it with me. What do you say?" I asked excited, but she was still shaking her head. "Come on, do it for me? I'd love to teach you, I'd love to give my ukulele to you. If you accept it, I'd feel happy."

"I... Okay, but..." She said receiving the ukulele shyly.

"But nothing! Thank you, baby, for receiving it." I said smiling fondly and when she looked up to me, she smiled as well. "Well, about the picture... My phone has a camera, but the picture would be mine. I'll be kind of selfish here, because I'd love to have a picture with you."

"Okay, but I want to have a picture with you too! It's not fair; I am the fan here, not you." She said pouting and I loved it.

"Hey, how inconsiderate you are! I'm your biggest fan as well!" I said also pouting and she laughed.

"You? Fan of me? For what?" She asked still laughing cheerfully.

"Oh, because of your smartness and your beauty. And... Because you're the coolest girl, goddammit!" I said smiling amused and kindly as she laughed even louder.

Oh dude, that was the laughter that I loved, so natural and real. Then I pulled out my phone and I moved closer to her, wrapping my arm around her and resting my head on hers as I focused the camera on us. I could feel how she was looking at me amused but then she wrapped her arms around my waist and the two of us looked at the camera.

"Cheese!" The two of us exclaimed, laughing cheerfully.

As soon as I took the picture, I looked at it. It was very beautiful. The picture itself was kind of crappy, because it wasn't in focus, it was really dark and because I failed at focusing only the two of us; but it was wonderful the way the two of us seemed to be very happy. The two of us were laughing with so naturally and with such gladness that it was awesome. Fortunately, I didn't make a silly face as usual; otherwise I was going to screw it, considering how outstanding Freckles looked in it. Her eyes were really bright and small because of the way she was laughing, showing all her teeth; it was a way that her face seemed to be lit up. Man, it was sappy to say, but you really could see her soul in that picture. I was dumbfounded looking at her in the picture.

"Can I see it?" She suddenly asked and I smiled slightly. Surely I was looking like a jerk.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just seeing how beautiful this picture is. I think this is our first picture together." I replied handing her my phone. She saw the picture and she smiled brightly.

"It is." She said almost in a whisper.

I couldn't help it: I pounced on her to kiss this pretty girl I had in front of me, to kiss my girlfriend. She laughed in between the kiss and I laughed as well; I don't know, I was feeling like laughing because I was happy, man. I started thinking that no kiss would be like other kiss, all of them would be different and I'd never get tired of it. Yep, her lips were addictive.

"Totally." I whispered and, once again, I didn't realize I said it loud.

"What?" She asked chuckling.

"Nothing..." I started saying but Freckles interrupted me.

"Let me guess... You were thinking about something." She said with a mischievous smile.

"Exactly." I answered also chuckling.

"I'd like someday to know what you think..." She said in a suggestive way.

"No way I'm telling you. I would make a fool of myself." I replied amused and laughing. Then my phone buzzed and I checked it.

From Chuck: "Hey bro, I don't want to mind your own business with your girlfriend; but remember that mom and dad will be back in a matter of hours and they won't like to find out you're not home. Get your ass over here, bro."

To Chuck: "Will do in a moment. I'm busy ;)"

From Chuck: "Yeah, your ass will be busy if you don't come over here now. As your older bro, is my duty to take care of your cute ass. Last warning."

To Chuck: "Such a party pooper, man!"

I laughed when I sent the last text message and then I looked at Freckles again, but she wasn't as same as minutes ago. Now she was serious and she was seeing her phone terrified. What could have happened now?

"Baby?" I asked gingerly and she didn't look at me, she didn't even answer. "Baby, can I take a look of it?" I asked gingerly again.

Now I was suspecting that it was W the one who sent her a text message. Surely it was W, she only had that face whenever W sent her a new threatening message. What else could change her mood like this? Or maybe it was her father. She didn't answer, but she handed me her phone, so I took it quickly to read it. Indeed, it was from W.

"Well, well, how interesting things are getting! The fat ass girl not only recovered her memory, but also she thinks she's someone else's girlfriend. That Criss guy is really stupid to get involved with you; ugly bitches don't have a boyfriend. Sit and enjoy how your stupid love affair falls apart. -W-"

"What the fuck is this?" I asked so madly.

I was really furious, not only because of the emotional tort to Freckles, but also because... How was it possible that W could be everywhere? How the hell did W know about everything, always? I looked at Freckles and she still had the same terrified face, she seemed to be deep in thought. She knew something; I knew it, I knew that face.

"What do you know that you aren't telling me?" I asked kind of coldly, even if it wasn't my intention. I was still mad at W. She didn't look at me, but she replied.

"I think I know who W is, Darren."

"What the fuck?" I asked really aghast.