The New Life

a novel by Mark Robert Whitten

Chapter 22

"M-married?"

Jess could barely get the words out of his mouth. He felt dizzy. It couldn't be possible. Leslie looked at him with the same look she had given Myers, one of thinly concealed horror. To see that look directed at him took his breath. He felt as if he had struck her. She looked away, unable to speak. No one else spoke. Everyone had stopped eating. The room fell to a quiet hush as conversations trailed off into uneasy silence. Jess wanted to speak to Leslie, to have her explain what Myers meant.

Leslie didn't give him the chance to ask.

She stood, tossing her napkin on her plate.

"Excuse me," she whispered brokenly.

She fled the room in tears.

Everyone silently watched her go. Jess wanted to follow wanted to ask her what was going on. But more than anything, as all eyes went to him in silent accusation, he wanted to disappear from the room.

Jess kept his head down, finishing his meal in silence. He wished he hadn't opened his mouth. After dinner, he looked for Leslie. She wasn't in her room. Jess knew she almost always spent the evening preparing for bed. The fact that she wasn't there troubled him. He wondered where she might be. He thought about all the places she had taken him, all the secret places she shared with him, the places that they went when she wanted to talk.

Jess stopped in the center of the hall. Icy comprehension flooded through him.

He knew where she had gone.

A hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump. He spun around to see the Duke towering over him. "Jess," he said his voice gentle. "We need to have a talk."

Jess nodded. He wanted to find Leslie, but he knew better than to refuse an audience with his Lord. As he followed Lord Burke into a private study, he thought about Leslie, about her secrets and how she had kept yet one more from him. He made his way across soft carpets and took a seat in a richly upholstered chair as the Duke closed the door, sealing them inside. The room was small, for a castle room, but could still make a sizable bedroom for a few people from his family. In the silence, Jess listened to the fire snap and crackle. He wanted to ask about what was going on, but before he could ask, the Duke answered.

"Jess, there are some things we haven't discussed." He came around to stand before him. "It was not meant to be a show of disrespect," he said. "We simply forget sometimes that you don't know everything about this place."

"Sir, if I was disrespectful at dinner—"

The Duke waved away his attempted apology. "I meant that we were disrespectful to you, Jess."

Jess blinked. He didn't understand.

Duke William sighed. "Jess, my daughter is to be married to a noble."

Jess felt his flesh tingle. He had already known that for an hour but hearing it again set him to shaking. He knew he shouldn't say anything but he couldn't hold his tongue. "Why?"

"Because she is a noble."

The answer seemed obvious to the Duke, he was sure. He frowned and looked about the richly decorated room for some other answer, one that made more sense.

"Forgive me," the Duke said. "I keep forgetting." He sank into a chair opposite the fireplace and lay back, resting. "Jess, marriages in the noble world are about political alliances." He came forward again. "Do you know much about politics?"

"Yes, sir," he nodded, "Leslie taught me earlier today." Even as he told the Duke, he realized Leslie must have been preparing to tell him about her secret. He felt a fool for ruining her chance to tell him in her own way.

The Duke nodded his approval, as if he understood Jess' very thoughts. "Jess, Leslie is to be married to the son of another powerful Duke. Our joining will allow security to be brought and strength to be offered in this alliance." He stood. "That's what they say in public and that's what Leslie believes."

As he strode to the fireplace, Jess wondered at the meaning of everything he was learning. He wanted to ask a million questions but dared not voice one as the Duke continued. "Unofficially, I want my daughter to be taken care of after I'm gone. I want someone of good standing to watch over my Leslie and keep her safe." Jess watched as he stared into the fire, as if seeing things Jess could not. "I want her to have children of her own someday…"

Jess felt his face heat and realized it wasn't from the fire. He had always thought of Leslie as more than just a girl, more than anything, but to hear of her future as a woman made him dizzy.

"Is this making you uncomfortable, Jess?"

He looked up to see the firelight reflecting in the Duke's eyes. Jess nodded, even though he didn't mean to show any reaction. The thought of Leslie having her own children was at once disturbing and exhilarating. He also felt a sense of pride at the thought. Leslie would make a fine mother, someday.

But to be married at her age…

"My lord, why does Leslie have to be married so soon?"

Lord Burke gazed into the flames as he answered. "It's not a marriage, exactly; just a finalization of an arrangement." He strode to a polished maple desk and pulled open a drawer. He lifted something from it, something Jess couldn't quite see from where he sat.

As he returned, Lord Burke held the item aloft.

It was a scroll.

He handed it down to Jess. As he took the scroll in his hands, he felt the smooth texture. He wondered aloud at what it was made of; no parchment he ever felt was so smooth and soft.

"Its vellum," The Duke answered. "Calf skin sliced thin."

Jess smiled as he unfurled the scroll, glad to be on the verge of real answers. There was writing all over its length, words he could barely read because they were scrawled in such a fancy way. He squinted in the firelight, hoping to discern what it all meant. After a while, he realized that even though he could read some of the individual words, he didn't understand their meaning.

"Do you understand, now, Jess?"

He shook his head. "It's not clear to me, my lord."

The Duke gestured to the scroll. "Basically it says that Leslie is to be wed by her next birthday. It is an agreement that was entered into when Leslie was born. She won't be sent to live with her husband until she comes of age, but until then the ceremony she will attend will show to all that the union is proper and promised." He gave Jess a meaningful look. "We will all be there to see it through—even you."

Even you. The words hit him like a slap. He knew what the Duke meant. Even a lowly nobody like you will be there to see her handed over to someone who probably doesn't care for her. He felt like hitting the Duke. "Is this why you chose me, sir?" He could barely keep the edge out of his voice, "To keep other boys away from Leslie so that she wouldn't be… spoiled or something?"

The Duke didn't glower, didn't even flinch. His eyes were soft and understanding. "No, Jess, I chose you because I wanted someone I could trust to be her friend. It isn't easy on any of us—Leslie least of all. I just thought it would be nice for her to have someone to talk to about this and make her feel better."

Jess didn't know how he could possibly make this better for her. He only knew he had to try. "What if she married someone else?" When the Duke gave him a questioning look, Jess stood. "My lord, let her marry me. I'll take good care of her—I promise."

There was a long silence. Jess feared the response to his offer would be an execution. Instead, the Duke laughed. The sound of it had Jess blushing and sinking back into his chair. Jess couldn't meet the Duke's gaze. He didn't lift his had until his chuckle died out.

"So, first you enter my house and now you wish to enter my family?"

Jess stared at the floor as he shook his head. "No, my lord, I-I didn't mean…"

"It's all right, Jess. I understand how you feel. I don't want to give her up either." Jess looked up at the Duke in wonder. "But I have to do what's right for her and this is right."

"For her or for you?"

The Duke didn't back away from the remark. He sighed and looked again into the fire. "Jess, I know you can't understand what a father feels, what he has to do to protect his daughter." He turned to him again. "I wanted a son. Not just because sons carry on their father's name but because having a son is easier than having a daughter. I find myself having trouble with Leslie as she grows older because I'm not a woman and I can't teach her how to be what she will one day become."

Jess sat in silence, rubbing his fingers over the smooth vellum scroll. He felt so small in the over-sized chair. He thought of his own father, of how he had given him over to the Burke nobility so he could have a chance at a better life. He knew it must not have been easy. He thought of his sisters—Ellie and Brenda—both of marrying age and now only one without a husband. He knew Brenda wanted children of her own and that father had to choose who she would marry. He thought of May belle, his little sister and what she would go through when she came of age. Jess sighed. He guessed he didn't really understand what it was to be a woman either.

As the fire crackled, Jess examined the scroll once more, trying to find something that would help. He could barely read a word of it. He finally gave up, realizing that there was nothing he could do for Leslie. He stood on quaking legs and handed the scroll back to the Duke. He accepted the scroll without comment. Jess didn't know what to say.

Then a thought occurred to him. "My Lord, why can't we just burn the scroll," he asked, gesturing to the flames at his side. "Toss it in the fire and be done with it?"

The Duke didn't look surprised by his suggestion. "That would be treason, Jess."

Jess didn't know what treason was exactly but he guessed it wasn't good. "And?"

"And they hang you for that."

Jess swallowed. He could feel tightness in his throat, as if he was being hanged at that very moment. "Well, I-we wouldn't tell anyone, then."

The Duke held the scroll out to him. Jess took it, wondering what was coming next. "Jess, look at the mark at the bottom." Jess ran his fingers over the wax seal at the base of the scroll. There was an imprint imbedded in it. He recognized from his monster books the profile of a griffin. "There," the Duke told him, tapping the wax symbol. "That's the royal seal. The High King of Arkahna wrote this himself when Leslie was born. Even if we destroy this scroll, there is a copy of it in the Royal Palace." He shook his head. "It would do no good."

Jess knew the Duke was humoring him; the Duke didn't really want the deal to be broken but he wanted to show Jess the futility of his dreams. Leslie wouldn't be free from the deal no matter what he did. Jess knew the Duke was being patient with him by explaining all this; he could have easily ordered the matter dropped. Since he was explaining everything to him anyway, he couldn't help but wonder if there was something he was missing.

"Couldn't anyone help us?" Jess stared up at his lord, expecting nothing.

"Only the King can revoke a royal order. If we tried to go against this, we would be more than fools—we'd be dead fools."

The Duke gently lifted the scroll and rolled it back up. As he returned it to the drawer, he turned to Jess and asked an expected question. "Jess, do you know why you're here?"

Jess blinked in confusion. "Because you asked me to come in here?"

"No, I mean, do you know why you met Leslie, why all this happened?" He had no answer to give so the Duke finished the thought. "We told Leslie about the social contract a few months ago—just before she met you. She ran away because of it."

Jess felt stunned. As much as he hated the thing, he realized that he never would have met Leslie if it weren't for the scroll. "Why didn't you tell her sooner?"

"I was trying to protect her. Looking back, I realize she might have been better off growing up with the knowledge. She might have had time to get used to it and maybe she would be better prepared for it now." He waved the matter away. "But that doesn't change anything. Right now she needs you to be her friend and help her through this, to make it easier for her." He gave Jess a serious look. "Do you know where she is, Jess?"

He nodded. "I think so, my lord."

"Go to her, Jess. Go and be with her now, while you still can."

Jess bowed and left the room, carrying a heavy heart with him as he went to see Leslie.

He found her on the tower. He knew she would be there; Leslie always loved the view.

As soon as he came out at the top, he saw her sitting against the wall in the darkness, her legs pulled up against her chest, her arms around her knees. Soft crying drifted to him on the cool night wind.

As he watched her shoulders shake, Jess walked towards her as quietly as he could.

She looked up at him as he approached. Her beautiful face glistened with tears. She sniffled and glared. "Go away."

He turned to go, but stopped and shook his head. Leslie threw her arm out in frustration. "I order you to go!"

He almost did. The command in her voice was undeniable. But he wouldn't leave her alone. He planted his hands on his hips and shook his head. She buried her face in her arms and resumed her sobbing. Jess came over to her, sinking down at her side. He put his hand on her back, feeling her shake with her tears.

"I'm sorry, Leslie," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I wish you'd told me…"

"Told you what?" she snapped. "That my life isn't mine? That my parents are sending me away to be with some fat, spoiled noble who will use me for his pleasure and take my family's wealth?" She wiped her nose on her sleeve—a rare gesture for a proper young lady, Jess noted—and looked up at the darkening sky. "I wish I could just fly away…"

Jess stared up with her. "Where would you go, Leslie?"

She shrugged, still staring at the twinkling stars. "Anywhere. Everywhere." She gestured expansively, as if drawing images in the air. "I'd travel to the mines of the dwarves and the forest kingdoms of the elves. I'd sail the open oceans. I'd meet hobbits and fight monsters and greet friends and save kingdoms." She let her hand drop. "Maybe I'd even find someone to love."

Jess nodded. He could almost see the places she talked about, the adventures she would never have and he wished with all his heart that she could have those things.

He wished even more that he could be there with her.

Jess placed his hand on her back. "I wish you could do those things, too, Leslie." He softened his voice as he spoke. "I really wish you could."

Her bluish-green eyes turned to him. He could barely see her face in the darkness. "I'm glad you're here, Jess." She sniffled. "It makes it easier."

Jess smiled. He hadn't intended to tell her, but he decided she could use a good laugh. "I told your father I would marry you, if he'd let me."

She barked a laugh. His grin widened at the sound and as he felt her wrap her spindly arms around his neck and pull him close, he stroked her long, golden hair. Jess held her gently as she laughed against him. "Oh, Jess, thank you so much for trying to help. Thank you for being here." She patted his back. "I wish I could marry you." She pulled away to look him in the eye. "I think we'd be wonderful together, as husband and wife."

Jess delighted in the thought. They could live together for the rest of their lives. He would take care of her and she would always be there for him. They could run back to the farm and stay with his family or maybe even live in the woods like Mistress Vanderholt, somewhere the nobles would never find them.

But it was all just a silly dream.

Leslie stood and wiped away her tears. "It's getting late," she declared. "We should prepare for bed."

Jess nodded and accepted her hand up. As he came to his feet, Leslie led him to the door. She stopped and looked back at him, her eyes wide.

"Jess," she asked, as if venturing an uncertain question.

"Yes, my lady?"

She winced at that. "I was thinking," she began.

It almost sounded to Jess like she was afraid to ask him something. He decided to tease it out of her. "Is there a problem, my lady?"

Leslie glared. "If you call me that again, I will throw you off this tower and I'm talking on the gravel, not the lawn." He nodded his acceptance of her wishes and crossed his heart that he wouldn't cross her again. She took a deep breath and continued. "I was wondering if you wanted to try something outrageous tonight."

He frowned. "Like what, my—Leslie."

She hooked some of her long golden hair behind an ear and averted her gaze. "I'll tell you about it if you agree to it first. I won't make you do it if you change your mind," she added hastily, "I just need a commitment from you before I can go ahead with it."

Jess swallowed. "You want me to kiss you or something?"

Her almond-shaped eyes got big as she back away a step. "What? No!" When he winced at her shout, she composed herself. "No, I just wondered if you wanted to take a trip with me out of the castle tonight."

Jess felt his blood run cold. "Leslie," he whispered, shaking his head, "I can't help you run away again."

"No, no, not that," she said, waving off the notion. "I just meant a trip, a small excursion, that's all. Tom will be with us both the whole time."

Jess frowned. "Why would Tom come along?"

Leslie folded her arms. "Look, do you want to come or not?"

Jess thought a minute before answering. "I'll come," he said, "to keep an eye on you. I really don't want to lose track of you again."

"Agreed."

Leslie extended her hand. He clasped it. Then he did something unexpected.

He kissed her.

It wasn't a romantic kiss; not on the lips, the way adults kissed. It was just a peck on the cheek. Peck or not, Leslie froze. Her face was a mask of stunned confusion. Even in the dark, Jess could see her fair cheeks turning red.

Leslie planted a hand on his chest and shoved him back a step.

As she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, she looked about, confused. "Jess!" she scolded in that annoyed tone he knew so well, "Why did you do that to me?"

He held his hands out to his sides. "I just thought you would like to get a kiss from a boy you liked before you have to marry one you don't."

Leslie planted her fists on her hips and gave him a scalding look with which he was all too familiar; he half-expected her to wag her finger at him. "You took a big chance, Jess Aarons." Her face was red and her expression glowering but the way her mouth quivered made it seem to Jess as if she was trying her hardest not to burst out laughing. He had a hard time controlling his own laughter as he watched her almond-shaped eyes narrow. "What makes you think I won't just have you whipped for that?"

Jess shrugged as he gave her a small smile. "I guessed I'm just luckier than most."